


Legacy of Heroes

by GarnetSeren



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Crew as Family, Denial of Feelings, F/M, First Meetings, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Getting Together, Male-Female Friendship, NOT a love triangle, Nihlus Kryik Lives, Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-06-08 07:57:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 96
Words: 89,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15238902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarnetSeren/pseuds/GarnetSeren
Summary: Shepard isn't conventional, she knows that.It's why her best friends are the most flirtatious turian alive, the most sarcastic man she's ever met and a krogan who intimidates nearly everyone he meets. It's why she doesn't hold a grudge against the turians at all, even though her Dad died during the first contact war. It's why she followed in her parent's footsteps, joining the Alliance, despite her mother warning her against it. She trusts her gut instincts. It's why she risked an Alliance mission to save a single alien, and why she readily accepted another's offer to join her crew, after only speaking to him twice.Garrus isn't conventional, he knows that.Despite working hard during his military service, and following in his father's footsteps when he joined C-Sec, as was expected. Despite his career being successful and advancing quickly. Despite being considered quite the eligible bachelor. He's a bad turian. He chaffs against the red tape and politics of his job. He finds no satisfaction in it or the company he keeps. It's why he doesn't hesitate to offer his services to the striking alien on her mission to do what he couldn't. It's why he'd follow her into her human hell and back.





	1. Chapter 1

As Garrus strode through C-Sec, he over heard many of his human colleagues excitedly talking about someone called 'Shepard'. At first, he was too agitated by his case to really pay attention, until he encountered Executor Pallin complaining about some Commander Shepard jumping on the 'conspiracy wagon'. Garrus had to quickly trample the annoyed sub-harmonics that threatened to rumble in his chest. He knew he was already on treacherous ground with his investigation into Saren, he didn't need to add insubordination to his list of transgressions. But regardless, the name finally caught his attention.

It sounded familiar, but he wasn't sure why. But if there was someone outside of the Citadel also with concerns over Saren, then Garrus knew he had to meet them. This Commander Shepard might be able to help his investigation, and naturally, he'd be happy to share what limited evidence he had in return. It wasn't until he ran into Officer Lang chatting with colleagues about the commander, that the name finally clicked.

All of Citadel space had heard of the Alliance soldier who'd almost single-handedly repelled a batarian raid on Elysium, and even turians were impressed with the human... many even relenting the female wasn't turian. It was such a fine feat of courage and military prowess after all.

He felt a little silly for not recognising the name earlier, but he supposed it didn't matter much, especially when he put his detective skills to work and discovered she was headed for the Presidium Tower. If he hurried, Garrus was certain he'd catch up with the human commander before her meeting with the council. In the end, he wondered if the commander was purposefully stalling to make an entrance, since he arrived a full ten standard Citadel minutes before he finally spotted the female's vivid red fringe.

Unfortunately, Pallin decided that was the exact moment to track him down; probably figuring he was hoping to exchange information with the commander, and put an end to his investigation. Once again, Garrus tempered his agitated sub-harmonics, since he really didn't want to be chewed out any more in front of the human commander than he already was. Especially since she'd stopped her confident stride to watch his public dressing down.

But instead of a smirk that he'd mostly likely get from another turian, the human was looking on neutrally... no, not neutrally. There was something soft in her striking green eyes. Sympathy maybe? Understanding? Human's were always so hard to read, what with their strangely malleable faces and lack of sub-harmonics. Still, the human commander didn't seem to be laughing at him, so Garrus supposed he still had a shot at retaining some dignity.

So as soon as Pallin was done with him, he introduced himself to the female. He was a little apprehensive, because human-turian relations were still strained at best and you could never tell how a human react... he supposed the same was true the other way around, but if the commander was uneasy or uncomfortable, she didn't show it. In fact, the female actually smiled at him; a gesture he'd actually learnt to recognise, thanks to colleagues like Eddie Lang. Not even thinking, Garrus flashed her a grin in response, only belatedly remembering humans were rarely receptive to the sight of a turian's teeth. However the commander didn't even blink, even when the other two humans with her flinched, and it left Garrus wondering if she had met other turians before.

He didn't get a chance to even think on it, since the human male prompted her to go meet the council. As the male spoke, Garrus caught the faint sent of resentment and even a hint of jealousy from him, which was confusing. Did the male see him as a threat? Was he with the commander? Not that it was any of his business. But still, he didn't think the pair were a good fit.

There was something about the red fringed female that was... special, he supposed. There was nothing particularly notable about her appearance; apart from her red fringe, green eyes, incredibly pale skin and the fact Garrus supposed she was quite attractive... in an objective way.

Okay, so the commander was rather notable, but not in a traditionally commanding way. She wasn't physically intimidating, since she was remarkably short. Much shorter than Garrus had imagined she would be. She also didn't have the fierce expression he usually associated with a commanding officer. The human look friendly, perhaps even good natured; not that Garrus was an expert on human's and their facial expressions.

But what the female did have, was presence. There was just something about her that made you take note. Perhaps it was the air of confidence she seemed to have, Garrus wasn't sure. She certainly commanded respect, but not in an aggressive way. There was just something that made you take notice of her and know she knew what she was doing.

So he briefly wished her luck, needing to damped down the happy rumble that threatened in his chest, when she flashed him another bright smile. He watched her go, admiring her assured stride as she jogged up the stairs to meet an dark skinned human male who was waiting for her. For reasons beyond him, Garrus found himself hoping he'd meet her again.


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard had always believed in listening to her gut instinct, something which had always served her well. From basic through to N7 training, Elysium, and also accepting the offer her Dad's best friend had made to join his crew... after all, Uncle David had always watched out for her, especially since her Dad's death. It had even somewhat served her on Eden Prime. So when her gut instinct told her she should swap out the Dress Blues she'd worn to meet the council for her armour, Shepard listened.

Of course, she couldn't go back to the Normandy without stopping by the MedBay. Official reports stated that Spectre Kryik had died on Eden Prime, but that was just a cover. Nihlus had stayed coherent enough to mutter Saren's name, before he'd lost consciousness from his head injury. How he'd survived a gunshot to the back of his head was beyond Shepard, but she didn't really care, she was just glad he was a lucky bastard and had. Still, that didn't mean he was out of the woods. In fact, he was lying in a medically induced coma in the ships MedBay, being tended to by Doctor Chakwas and her surprisingly broad expertise. It had been decided that until they knew the council's reaction to Saren's betrayal, that Nihlus' survival wouldn't be revealed... in case the treachery ran deeper than one rogue Spectre.

So after donning her beloved black armour with it's distinctive red and white strip down the right arm, Shepard paid a visit to Nihlus. He still lay motionless on the cot, but that didn't stop her from pulling up a chair and quietly telling him what was going on. She'd heard somewhere that people could still hear you whilst in a coma, so she made a point of visiting him at least daily.

In truth, Shepard felt guilty for what had happened to him. Sure, he wasn't part of her crew, but she couldn't help think that if she'd somehow convinced him not to go off gung-ho, that he wouldn't be lying helpless in the MedBay now. Of course, if she hadn't been hell bent on reaching him and their original rendezvous point instead of letting him go further on his own, Nihlus would probably have bled to death... but that was beside the point. Shepard felt responsible for him, and what was more, she liked the turian.

Which meant she made a point by sitting by his hospital cot, telling him about what was going onboard, updating him on the latest galaxy news, and sometimes merely reading to him. It didn't matter there was only a slim chance he heard her, it was the only way she could think to support him. And hopefully if... _when_... he pulled through, Nihlus would understand he a friend in her.

Perhaps, that wishful thought wasn't as far off as Shepard originally thought.

As she stood to leave, needing to get back to tracking down that Wrex and Garrus, Shepard lightly squeezed Nihlus' still gloved hand. It was a gesture she did every time she left, a little bit of friendly comfort she hoped he could register. There had never been a response before, but this time when she let go, his talons trembled slightly. A smile pulled at her lips as she left, quietly telling Karin what she'd felt before she headed for the lift.

Hopefully, it wouldn't be too long before he'd be back on his feet and Shepard was determined to help him get his revenge. The fact it co-insided with avenging the attack on Eden Prime was a bonus, but Shepard knew she'd help Nihlus anyway... it's what friends do.

 


	3. Chapter 3

“Fuck! Nice shot!”

Garrus can't help the pleased purr of his sub-harmonics the commander's words cause, despite said shot plunging them into a shoot out. Though to be honest, it was only the human opening the clinic door, that allowed him the perfect shot to take out the merc threatening Doctor Michel.

The happy rumble continued throughout the fire fight. Even as the commander directed the human male from earlier to throw a biotic barrier over the doctor, whilst she and her _krogan_ companion... and Garrus couldn't help wondering where or when she'd picked him up... literally charged into the fray. The pair blasted their shotguns and timed their biotic strikes with uncanny precision. So much that he'd have thought they'd been fighting alongside each other for _years_. However, Garrus knew Wrex had been on the Citadel for a number of weeks, and there'd been no hint of a human partner in any of the data C-Sec had dug up on the merc.

Still, they were kind of amazing and intimidating to watch together. And if Garrus hadn't known that humans didn't mate like asari, he'd have wondered if the commander was part krogan. She acted like one, especially when her and Wrex bumped fists as the last merc dropped to their combined shotgun blasts.

Garrus actually felt a little jealous and an annoyed note entered his sub-harmonics without his consent, even though the human turned around and gave him what he thought was a grin. It probably showed in his scent, since the krogan also grinned at him, though a lot more amused than the human's smile had been.

“Seriously, good shot Vakarian,” the commander praised.

The pleased purr returned to his sub-harmonics, and the spirits-damned krogan laughed.

“Careful, Shepard. Or you'll make the kid blush,” Wrex rumbled.

He pointedly ignored the krogan after that, and also dampened down his sub-harmonics, just in case. From the tooth grin Wrex kept giving him, he knew as well. Still, Garrus turned his attention to the human commander, listening as she questioned Doctor Michel, asking all the questions he would have done. He was impressed, and his mind was made up.

“This is your show, Shepard. But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do,” he told her. “I'm coming with you!”

Honestly, Garrus expected to have to argue his case. He still didn't know how the commander felt about turians, and from the look on her human companions face, he expected he'd have to practically hand her his resume to convince her. However, the red fringed human merely nodded, a smile back on her red painted lips.

“With aim like that, how could I refuse?” she chuckled. “Welcome aboard, Vakarian. Kaidan, head back to the ship, advise Presley to add dextro rations to our requisitions.”

The human male went to argue, before the krogan chuckled.

“Better do what she says, pyjack. You know she's the boss.”

The male narrowed his eyes at the krogan, before saluting the commander. “Yes, ma'am.”

After checking the doctor was alright a final time, they followed the commander's subordinate out of the clinic. Garrus thought they'd head straight for Cora's Den, but the human took a moment to punch the krogan on the arm. It was a biotic aided punch to, if the faint aura around her startling small fist was anything to go by, and Garrus couldn't help the worried warning not that entered his sub-harmonics. Reflexively, he reached for his pistol, expecting and fully prepared to defend the crazy human from an angered krogan.

However, Wrex looked down at her almost fondly... or as fondly as Garrus had even seen a krogan look... before he chuckled again.

“Did you have to antagonise him like that?” the commander asked.

“The welp needs to grow a quad,” Wrex grinned. “Besides, I'm sick of watching him pine over you. It's only been a hour, but the scent of longing is making me want to shoot him.”

Shepard sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You're such an ass.”

That made the krogan laugh harder. “Don't tell me you like him, Shepard. I've known you a hour and I know you can do better.”

“What? Like a krogan,” she quipped back. “But no. Kaidan... he's a good soldier, and he's very attractive by conventional human standards, but...”

“You're not conventional,” Wrex finished for her, obviously approving. “Good. It's why I like you already.”

For some reason beyond him, Garrus felt relieved by the commander's admission, and he fought hard to keep it showing in his sub-harmonics. The human might not have been able to hear them, but the krogan could at least sense them. So he cleared his throat a little awkwardly, hoping to get their attention as much to continue the hunt for evidence, as it was to distract him from his bizarre reaction.

“We should really get to Cora's Den and find that quarian before Fist sells her out,” he reminded them.

The commander nodded in agreement. “Well Vakarian, lead the way.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

“Heard you're a Spectre now...”

The slightly strained voice almost made Shepard jump, and she gaped at the prone turian for several seconds, dumbfounded. She guessed he could probably tell her emotions just from her scent; they were evolved from apex predators after all. She didn't doubt for a second that he could smell her utter relief and absolute joy that he was actually conscious at last. But still, Shepard played it cool as she dropped into her familiar chair beside Nihlus' cot.

“Wow, scuttlebutt sure travels fast,” she grinned. “Let me guess, it was the good doctor stole my thunder.”

“Actually, your pilot,” Nihlus rasped out. “I overheard him talking to the doctor. Congratulations, Shepard. I suppose I'm even more surplus to requirements.”

There was a bitter edge to his voice that crossed species boundaries, and without thinking, Shepard reached for his hand in a comforting gesture. The move seemed to surprise Nihlus, since he simply stared at her for a weighted moment, his mandibles fluttering, until his talons finally squeezed her fingers back.

“I'm sorry, for what happened on Eden Prime. I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough,” she told him, evenly. “From what I've uncovered, I understand you two were... close.”

When Nihlus looked away from her, his vivid green eyes boring a hole into the MedBay wall, Shepard merely squeezed his hand tighter. She couldn't begin to imagine how he was feeling about the betrayal, but she could appreciate he was unwilling to talk about it. As much as she hated to admit it, Shepard understood about closing yourself off after a trauma. Her mother had never been the same after her Dad died, and she herself hated talking about Elysium.

“Well, the crew had gotten a little more diverse since you were last awake,” she diverted, her tone light. “Think Udina and half the Alliance brass are going to have a conniption over it, but what's the point of being a Spectre if you can't piss a tonne of people off without recourse?”

That earned her a huff of laughter from Nihlus. “Do I want to know?”

Shepard grinned. “Hmm... maybe? You certainly might be surprised if you walked into a quarian and a fellow turian...”

“Trying to replace me already?” he interrupted.

She got the impression he was only partly joking. She smiled at him, her hand still firmly wrapped around his talons... this whole thing would have been so much easier if she'd managed to talk to him more before Eden Prime went FUBAR, at least then she'd have a better sense of his personality. But Nihlus hadn't taken offence to her light-heartedness so far, which Shepard supposed was a good enough path to tread for now.

“Oh... I'm sure I can make room for another devastatingly handsome turian on board,” she teased.

“Sweet talker,” he huffed. “You could be a politician.”

Unable to help herself, her nose wrinkled in disgust and Nihlus' mandibles flutter into what Shepard thought was a turian smile. It was slight, perhaps even strained, but at least it was there. Despite not knowing him well, she wanted Nihlus to know she had his back. If he wanted to stay onboard the Normandy, she would damn well find a place for him. If he insisted on returning to the Citadel, Shepard would make sure Anderson knew and kept an eye on him for her.

“I am serious,” she told him, honestly. “The council don't know you survived Eden Prime. We weren't sure how far the sedition ran, and didn't want to risk another attempt on your life. It's up to you if you want to inform them, or if you want to stay incognito on the Normandy until you've healed up. Whatever you decide, you have my support.”

Nihlus regarded her for a long minute, his face unreadable, before he gave a huff of humourless laughter. “It's a sad day when a near stranger offers you more loyalty than your mentor.” He sighed, before looking at their still joined hands. “From what I hear, you've come to check on me everyday. So thank you, Shepard, I know you mean that. If you're sure, I'd prefer to lay low here for a while. I'm more worried they'd pull me from the mission, rather than their involvement in what happened on Eden Prime, and I need to know what happened to change him...”

Shepard nodded. “We're already ordering dextro supplies for Garrus and Tali, if there's anything you want specifically, just let me know so it can be added to the requisitions order before we leave.” She frowned for a moment, certain there was something she hadn't told him yet. “Oh! We also have a krogan on board... you derailed me earlier.”

“A krogan? Really Shepard?!” he chuckled.

“What? Wrex isn't so bad for a mercenary,” she grinned. “I like the big guy.”

Nihlus' mandibles flared in what Shepard was sure was shock. They twitched several times, his green eyes locked onto hers, the surprise once again crossing the species barrier.

“Urdnot Wrex? One of the most notorious krogan mercenaries in the galaxy? How the spirits did you manage _that_?!”

Unable to help herself, Shepard laughed, before settling back in her chair to tell Nihlus about everything that had happened on the Citadel. From arguing with the council, tracking down Wrex and Garrus, encouting Oraka and Sha'ira and the eclor diplomat, and her surprising fan to storming Chora's Den and saving Tali and becoming a damned Spectre. He laughed when she couldn't the council a trio of pompous windbags, and though the metaphor didn't quite translate, apparently her annoyance did.

“For what it's worth, I'll help you the best I can,” Nihlus told her. “I won't be much use stuck in MedBay, but I know Saren, his tactics and thought pattern... or at least, I use to.”

“You'll be invaluable,” Shepard assured him. “And you'll get your answers, I promise.”

Knowing she hand to get back to her duties, she squeezed his talons a final time, before rising to stand. She really should have changed out of her armour before she went to check on him, since her back and shoulders protested as she moved, and she tried to hide a wince since it was nothing compared to what Nihlus was dealing with. Though if the slight flare of the turian's mandibles were anything to go by, he knew exactly what she was thinking.

“I'll be here if you need me,” he stated, deadpan. Slowly moving his arm to gesture at the MedBay at large.

Shepard snorted, shaking her head. It seemed Nihlus was going to fit right in with her and Jeff... probably Wrex too when she thought about it.

“I don't doubt it,” she chuckled, giving him some semblance of a salute. “Catch you later, boss.”

His genuine laughter followed her out the door.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Garrus had heard the hype that had originally surrounded a joint human-turian project, but hadn't really bothered following the progress. He almost wished he had. Even though he was more a gun-nut than into ships, he couldn't deny the Normandy was a beautiful vessel.

Of course, nearly all the Alliance crew gave him side-ways glances, and he'd heard a few unfavourable mutters of 'another one', which he thought just generically meant alien, until he caught the unmistakeable scent of a fellow turian. His mandibles twitched in surprise, and he tried to ask the first human who didn't look at him like some kind of monster. Which happened to be the male who'd been dismissed in favour of him. Probably not the most auspicious person to ask, and all he got for his trouble was a 'you'll have to ask the commander'.

Unfortunately, it took until the night cycle for Garrus to track her down, or more acurately, to catch her in a moment she wasn't running around the ship. Even back in the military, he didn't think he'd ever seen a commanding officer pitch in as much as she did; carrying crates, checking orders with her XO, even bringing her pilot coffee... something Garrus was utterly confused by, but figured it must be a human thing. He wasn't sure, but decided it was something to ask another time, since the scent of another turian was driving him to distraction.

“Shepard... commander... do you have a minute?” he asked.

He tried not to fidget as the human turned her piercing green gaze on him. There was a moment when she eyed him almost critically, before she smiled and blew some of her red fringe. Garrus watched as the commander settled her weight onto her right hip, and he couldn't help his gaze following the movement before he snapped his eyes back up to his face. He couldn't help the embarrassed trill that entered his sub-harmonics, and Wrex sudden chuckle from across the hanger didn't help much.

“Just Shepard is fine,” the commander smiled. “What can I do for you, Vakarian?”

“It's just um... I couldn't help noticing that there's another turian on board,” he said, a little hesitantly. “But I haven't encountered them yet.”

Shepard sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Yeah... I guess you'd find out sooner or later.” She turned away from him slightly before calling: “Wrex, Tali. Can you come here for a moment?”

Since the other two new comers were setting up their sleeping areas, as there was no space in the bunk room, it didn't take them long to join him and Shepard. With another sigh, the commander lent against the Mako and Garrus caught the scent of anger and frustration coming from her. For a moment, he worried it was aimed at him, until she gave them all a weary half smile.

“No one outside the crew and Captain Anderson know this, so I'm sure you can appreciate this does not leave the Normandy. Not to C-Sec, not to the Flotilla and not to the Shadow Broker.”

Once they'd all given their agreement; him and Tali quickly, and Wrex only after a lengthy stare out with Shepard which ended in him giving an unnerving toothy grin and the commander rolling her eyes, she continued her explanation.

“Spectre Kryik didn't die on Eden Prime, but he was badly injured,” Shepard stated. “It's a miracle he survived, and we don't want to risk another attempt on his life, if we're dealing with more than just one rogue Spectre.”

Wrex chuckled. “That sly bastard awake?”

“He mentioned he knew you,” she grinned. “But yeah, he's decided to recuperate onboard before we make his survival public.”

Tali wrung her hands. “I'd be able to create additional firewalls and encryptions around your Omni-Tools and extra-net address if you like.”

“And I'll check with my contacts, see if anyone is fishing for information about Kryik,” Wrex stated. “Don't worry, I'll be subtle.”

“A subtle krogan, now that's something I've got to see,” Shepard joked. “But thank you both. You're part of the team and I trust you to keep this quiet.”

With that, both Tali and Wrex left, leaving Garrus relatively alone with the commander. Of course he could practically feel that human feel glaring at him from her corner of the hanger, but he tried his best to ignore it. Which was actually easier than he expected, since he could scent Shepard's still lingering worry. Hesitantly, Garrus lightly lay a hand on her shoulder, a gestured he'd seen his human colleagues in C-Sec do.

“If there's anything I can do to help, commander. Just let me know.”

“Told you, Vakarian, it's Shepard,” she sighed, tiredly. “But thanks hot shot. Was there... anything else you needed?”

He flared his mandibles into a small smile as he dropped his hand. “I also wanted to say thanks for bringing me on board, comma... Shepard. I knew working with a Spectre would be better than life C-Sec.”

“Have you worked with a Spectre before?” Shepard asked, sounding actually interested.

“Well... no,” he admitted, a little embarrassed. “But I know what they're like. Spectres make their own rules, you're free to handle things your way. But in C-Sec you're buried by rules, the damn bureaucrats are always on your back.”  
  
The commander gave him a half smile, seeming amused. “You know for the most, rules are there for a reason.”

“Maybe... but sometimes it feels like the rules are only there to stop me from doing my work,” Garrus explained.

As he spoke, he fought the urge to gesture with his hands. He'd learnt early on that many humans were unnerved when a turian started gesticulating, probably worried about their talons of something... Garrus wasn't sure, but he always hated the scent of concern and sometimes fear he smelt around his human colleagues during living discussions. So he held his arms stiffly by his sides as they talked, a close approximation to parade rest back in basic.

“If I'm trying to take down a suspect, it shouldn't matter how I do it, as long as I do it,” he continued. “But C-Sec want it done their way, protocol and procedure come first, that's why I left.”

“So you just quit because you didn't like the way they do things?” Shepard asked.

As she spoke, the commander pushed herself off the Mako before turning to look at him. Garrus' mandibles fluttered nervously. It wasn't often he had a commanding officer direct their full attention at him, other than a dressing down. He couldn't help shifting from foot to foot, apprehensive about continuing. Because if having a superior's undivided attention was rare, them being concerned over his personal thoughts and feels were down right unheard of.

“There's more to it than that, it didn't start out bad,” he told her, hesitantly. “But as I rose in ranks I got saddled with more and more red tape. C-Sec's handling of Saren was typical. I hate leaving... but I just couldn't take it any more. ”

Shepard gave him an understanding smile. “I hope you made the right choice, I'd hate for you to regret it later.”

Garrus' mandibles fluttered in a cautious smile. “Well, that's sort of why I teamed up with you. It's a chance for me to get off the Citadel, see how things are done outside of C-Sec. Either way, I plan to make the most of it, and without having C-Sec headquarters looking over my shoulder, well, maybe I can get things done my way for a change.”

“If getting the job done means endangering innocent people, then no,” she stated, firmly. Crossing her arms. “We get the job done right, not fast. Got it? Or we're no better than Saren.”

“I wasn't trying to...” he stammered, unable to meet her eyes. “I understand, commander.”

She sighed wearily, before she moved to boost herself up to sit on the hood of the Mako. To his slight indignation, the commander stretched out a leg to tap him on the thigh with her boot. Garrus' mandibles pulled tight to his face, his sub-harmonics ringing with annoyance as he turned to look at her, but was immediately disarmed when he found the commander regarding him with that odd half smile of hers.

“It's Shepard, remember?” she stated, before sighing again. “And I don't think you do, Vakarian. I'm not reprimanding you, I understand your frustration with red tape and following orders you might not agree with.”

The commander paused to tuck some errant pieces of her red fringe behind one of her strange round ears, as a far away look entered her normally piercing green eyes. Garrus got the impression she was remembering something particular, because she frowned for a moment before seeming to blink back to the present and giving him a disarming smile.

“You should always have the welfare of those you've sworn to protect in the forefront of your mind when making decisions,” she told him, calmly. “Not your own sense of justice and certainly not your frustration at the system. The lives of innocent civilians should always be your top priority. Making the galaxy a littler safer, a little better, should be what you strive for. Not to prove yourself.”

Garrus regarded her dumbstruck for a moment. “I... thank you... Shepard. I'll... remember that.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

It was the first time Nihlus had made it to the CIC since the... incident on Eden Prime, really, it was the first time he'd convinced the doctor to let him out of MedBay. Of course, Shepard had been kind enough to keep him in the loop, telling him of the small assignments she was running, explaining that she was testing the cohesiveness of the new multi-species squad before throwing them into a real mission, when he'd asked why she was doing so many seemingly insignificant tasks.

He'd flared his mandibles in a small smile at her forth-right answer, equally pleased and impressed that she hadn't been offend by him questioning her decisions... he'd rankled every time Saren had tried to micro-manage his actions, after all. He could appreciate her thought process, it wasn't how he would have done things, but then again, Nihlus could admit he'd never been a commander. He'd never had to try and get four different species that actually had quite a tumultuous history to work together as a unit, and he couldn't fault her reasoning.

However, hearing about the assignments and her decisions after the fact hadn't been the same as actively mentoring her... because since he was lying low on her ship, Nihlus figured he could at least help Shepard understand her new role as a Spectre, which was why he'd hobbled painfully out of the MedBay, dosed up on pain killers and awkwardly using crutches that had not been designed for a turian. He knew Shepard had set a course for Noveria, she'd told him as much the night before when she stopped by for her daily chat, and he wanted to give her advice about the miserably cold planet and it's infamous Port Hanshan.

But then an emergency transmission had come through from some one call Kahoku, and Nihlus had immediately sensed the shift in Shepard. Her entire posture change, and her scent of worry and anger was so intense, that Nihlus struggled to pay attention to the message. All he really caught was the name, and he vaguely remembered her telling him about an Alliance admiral whilst he'd been seeing the world through a haze of pain medication. Not that it mattered, Nihlus supposed, when he had to quickly hobble out of the way of a commander on the war path.

“Joker... set a course...” she started.

“Already on it, commander,” the pilot replied through the comm. link.

Nihlus' mandibles fluttered in surprise at the helmsman's presumption, but Shepard didn't even seem to notice. He tried to follow her determined stride as she headed for the Crew Deck, but the pain and weakness in his limbs made it impossible to keep up. However, much to his surprise, Shepard slowed her pace and glanced over her shoulder at him.

“Sorry, Nih. I wasn't thinking,” she apologised.

“Understandable, Shepard,” he assured. “I can see this is an emergency. We can talk later.”

For a long moment she simply regarded him, her vivid gaze assessing but her face unreadable until she nodded, then she offered him a slight smile. It was the last Nihlus saw of her before she returned from Binthu, where he'd cautiously gone to meet her in the hanger... since taking her entire ground team with her, instead of just the Alliance personnel like he'd expected, was a sure indicator of her feelings regarding the assignment.

What Nihlus hadn't expected was for scent wall of fury that hit him, the moment Shepard stepped out of the Mako. But it wasn't just her, the entire team smelt of anger and sadness, and though he couldn't be certain because of her mask, Nihlus thought the quarian was actually crying. Though more surprising than that, was the way Wrex gently lay a hand on Shepard's shoulder, as she turned to watch the other two humans carefully carry a lifeless body on a emergency stretcher out of the Mako. Behind them came the only other turian on board, and Nihlus watched as the young male looked at the commander with concern shrill in his sub-harmonics.

He stepped aside as the humans carried the stretcher to the elevator, their eyes downcast, and Nihlus had to guess the dead male they carried was that of Kahoku. He then watched as the young quarian actually wrapped her arms around the commander's still armoured waist, and was only a little surprised when Shepard hugged the female back. Silently, Tali wandered away towards the drive core she'd apparently taken a liking to watching, and Nihlus saw the look of guilt that flashed in the commander's eyes.

“I'll go check on the kid,” Wrex stated, his rumbling tone surprisingly understanding.

Shepard merely nodded and watched the krogan go. Nihlus guessed that now was as good a time as any to approach her and find out what happened, even if the younger male was still standing resolutely by the commander's side; not saying anything, but providing quiet support like any good turian subordinate should... until Shepard suddenly turned, and biotically punched the Mako.

“Spirits, Shepard!” the male exclaimed.

Nihlus watched as the commander leant her helmetless head against the dirty metal of the Mako, and even from the distance he stood, he could smell the scent of grief that rolled off her. The male beside her quivered his mandibles, obviously unsure how to go about comforting a human in distress, let alone his commanding officer. Nihlus could sympathise, and let an understanding rumble enter his sub-harmonics as he hobbled closer. He himself had little experience consoling distraught humans, but at least Shepard was his equal. Of course, if she were turian, either of them would offer her a spar and he himself would offer her more personal stress relief. But humans weren't like that.

“Sorry, Vakarian,” Shepard muttered, dejectedly. “I just... I can't... the bastards fucking got him!”

The younger turian... Vakarian... gave a distressed trill which it seemed that even the commander heard, since she turned her head just enough to give the male a questioning look. Vakarian's mandibles pulled tight to his face in evident discomfort, but Nihlus was sort of impressed the male had enough gizzards to emulate the gesture Wrex had done earlier, even if his hand rested more tentatively on the commander's shoulder than the krogan's hand.

“We'll find them, Shepard. Not for revenge, but to stop them hurting any one else,” Vakarian stated.

That actually made the commander's lips twitch, and she nodded at the male before she turned and leant against the Mako, her green gaze finally finding Nihlus'. He flared his mandibles slightly, rumbling reassuringly, though he doubted she could pick it him. Vakarian certainly could, since her looked between them for a moment, before stepping away from the commander.

“I'll go see if Tali needs any help decrypting those Cerberus files,” he stated. “Hopefully, we'll have a location for you soon.”

The smile Shepard gave the male was slightly more genuine. “Thanks, hot shot.”

Once Vakarian was out of sight, Nihlus gingerly leant against the Mako next to Shepard, grateful to ease his arms out of the tortuous crutches that did _not_ fit him right. However, he tried to keep from grumbling in annoyance, the last thing Shepard needed was to have him complaining... he might not be a human expert, but he could tell from the way she hung her head, her red fringe obscuring her face, that she was taking Kahoku's death hard. However, he was still too unsteady on his feet to actually reach out and offer her comfort, so he settled for carefully bumping her shoulder with his.

The commander sighed. “This is such a shit show.”

“You'll get them, Shepard,” he consoled.

The words felt inadequate, and Nihlus found a whole new appreciation for the lively, uplifting conversation she'd provided him with since he'd woken up. He had no idea how to rally or comfort her... it would be so much easier if she were turian, or even asari, or at least, slightly easier. It wasn't as if he had much experience of needing to reassure someone after a bad mission, and Saren certainly hadn't bothered offering comfort the times he could have done with it. But Nihlus had always vowed to himself to be a more understanding mentor than Saren had been... just a shame he was failing miserably when his mentee needed him.

However, to his surprise, Shepard actually let out a measured sigh before she rested her head on his shoulder, that was actually free of armour, since the doctor would only allow him to wear his civilian clothing... which felt stranger and more uncomfortable than Nihlus cared to admit. Not that it really mattered, especially when the commander managed to muster a strained smile for him.

“Yeah...” she sighed. “For Kahoku... and Toombs.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

Turians didn't like the cold. Which was fairly common knowledge it seemed... that, or Nihlus had warned Shepard, since she'd actually _asked_ Garrus if he minded accompanying her on the next mission. He'd debated asking to sit it out, until the commander mentioned she'd probably take Kaiden to replace him, which immediately made Garrus agree to join her.

But that didn't change the fact turians didn't like the cold, and with that in mind, Garrus _hated_ Noveria. He hated the bureaucracy. He hated the dirty dealings. He hated the hoops the commander was forced to jump through. He hated how both Qui'in and Lilihierax had flirted with Shepard so brazenly, not that she seemed to notice, and not that it was any of his business anyway. He hated the geth. He hated the asari commandos. He hated the spirits-damned rachni of all things. But what he hated the most was the cold.

Or perhaps it was better to say Garrus hated the cold when combined with being in the Mako... or being in the Mako with Shepard and Wrex. Or Wrex's driving, which was actually marginally worse than Shepard's. But since the commander had been dealing with a nasty acid burn that ate through her armour and blistered her too fragile human skin, so the krogan had been driving whilst Garrus tried to tend to Shepard's arm, when they'd ploughed into a snow bank. Which was why Wrex was walking back to Port Hanshan to get help... as punishment, or so Shepard said.

Garrus actually suspected she was more bothered that _she_ hadn't driven them into the snow first, rather than the fact Wrex had crashed. Those two had a weird one-up-manship going on. Or at least that's what Garrus hoped. It would at least explain why the commander had charged head first into a group of rachni with Wrex at her side, instead of confirming Garrus' fear that he'd actually signed up to follow a clinically unstable person around the galaxy.

But none of that took away from how much Garrus hated the cold.

And of course, somewhere during their fight through Peak 15, the thermal conduit of his suit had short circuited... because of course it had. 

So as he hunkered down in the back of the Mako with Shepard, the cold was really starting to seep into his plates. Thankfully, they still had the vehicle's emergency heating running. Which was just as well, because Shepard started to strip down to her under suit... confirming Garrus' fears that his commander was actually crazy.

“Sh...shepard?” he asked.

Of course he wouldn't be able to keep his dignity by not stuttering as he watched her discard her armour... not that he found her attractive. She was human after all, and Garrus much preferred his woman hard and angular. But spirits! He'd never noticed what a small waist Shepard had for a human, or how generous the swell of her hips were.

Garrus clamped his mandibles hard to his face, mortified where his mind had wandered, and relieved beyond measure that Wrex wasn't with them. The krogan would have _never_ let him live down the spike his pheromones must have made, especially considering how he wound Kaiden up over his infatuation with Shepard.

But perhaps that was the least of Garrus' worries, since the commander went and cocked her hip to the side, emphasising them even more, whilst giving him an assessing look... if she'd been turian, Garrus would have probably thrown dignity to the wind and lay at her feet, waiting for mercy. As it was, he simply tucked his head further into his cowl, hoping Shepard would think it was from the cold, and not his impending death by embarrassment.

“Well, my armour's hardly any use considering it's full of acid burns, and I know there's some emergency blankets in one of these trunks. If you take yours off, we can hunker down and share body heat.”

Once again, Garrus was beyond relieved Wrex wasn't with them, since he knew his pheromones spiked at her suggestion... he just didn't know why. He'd never thought of humans as sexually attractive before, and he wasn't sure why Shepard was suddenly affecting him so much. Then again, he should probably be more thankful Nihlus was still too injured to leave the ship, as Garrus knew his sub-harmonics were trilling with embarrassment, excitement _and_ confusion.

However, as confused as he felt, Garrus couldn't argue with her logic. Reluctantly, he stripped to his own under suit and couldn't help wondering how alien he looked to her. Then again, when Shepard did little more than smile at him as she practically made a nest out of the emergency blankets, Garrus wondered just how many near naked turians she'd been around... but the inappropriate thoughts evaporated the moment he felt Shepard shake beside him.

For a moment, Garrus worried that sitting so close to him made her uncomfortable, until he watched as she puffed air over her hands with their too many fingers, before rubbing them together. And when he thought about it, he could also faintly hear the sound of her teeth chattering together.

It all clicked into place, as he realised in a rush that the commander was just as affected by the cold as he was... she wasn't shaking, she was _shivering_. Of course, turians shivered too, but not like humans. His was a conscious effort to activate certain muscle groups to stimulate warmth, whilst Shepard just... jiggled. Which was weird, but not as off putting as Garrus had imagined it would be to see.

So after a moment's hesitation where Shepard continued to jiggle beside him, Garrus hesitantly wrapped his arm around her surprisingly slender shoulders. He hoped she wouldn't hit him for the insubordination, since he'd have normally waited for his commanding officer's consent... and Shepard usually punched with the aide of her biotics... but she just looked so cold. And if Garrus was being honest with himself, Shepard looked... _vulnerable_ , which was a word Garrus had never thought to attribute to the commander.

But as his taloned hand settled around the ball of her shoulder, Shepard simply smiled up at him. He almost began to relax, confident he wasn't about to take the beating of hid life, until she got an assessing look in her eyes. Immediately, Garrus tensed. Almost afraid to breath as she shuffled to kneel in between his legs. She tilted her head to the side, obviously still considering whatever was on her mind, before she reached up towards his head.

Unable to help it, Garrus' sub-harmonics trilled nervously. As a rule, turians weren't okay with anyone other than lovers or family members touching their fringe, but humans were not the most culturally sensitive race out there. Shepard had never done anything inappropriate yet, but Garrus couldn't stop worrying what if... not what if she broke the taboo and touched his fringe, but what if he liked it?!

However, instead of Shepard's too many fingers reaching for him, Garrus felt the weight of one of the emergency blankets being carefully draped over his head, almost like Tali's hood. 

“Not catching on anything, is it?” Shepard asked.

“N...no,” he managed to stutter.

She gave a pleased nod before turning her back to him, or more precisely, turning away before pressing her back _against_ him. Spirits! Did she know what a sign of trust that was to turians?

Garrus couldn't help marvel at the human as she pulled the other two blankets around them once more, though he at least had the presence of mind to move so his legs surrounded her, giving Shepard some structure to work with. And once she was done, they were cocooned in the blankets, and Garrus could at least admit he did feel warmer.

However, a new problem arose... or two new problems, if he were being honest with himself... 

Just where exactly was he supposed to put his hands? Hands that were currently awkwardly hovering above his commander's stomach. And how long could he keep his head tipped back so he didn't touch her fringe, before he got a crick in the neck?

“You do know human hair isn't like a turian's fringe, right?” she asked suddenly. “You don't have to worry about touching it.”

Garrus flared his mandibles in surprise, uncomfortably wondering if Shepard had added mind reading to her list of accomplishments when he wasn't looking.

Though that didnt stop the trill of revulsion that escaped him when Shepard bent her legs the _wrong_ way, feeling his gizzards tighten in disgust until he remembered that humans actually evolved to bend that way. Which was... something he'd rather not dwell on.

Unable to control it, a shudder rippled through his body.

“You okay, hot shot?” she asked, kindly.

Shepard glanced over her shoulder as she spoke, her brow furrowing as she looked at him. Garrus offered her what he hoped looked like a reassuring smile... though how reassuring a turian smile was to a human, he wasn't sure. Still, he didn't want to worry Shepard , or make their situation any more awkward by admitting it was the closest he'd ever been to a human.

Honestly, he'd always imagined they'd be more... squishy. However, although Shepard was softer against him than Garrus was use to, he could still feel the comforting jut of bone from her shoulder blades, and also her knees when he cautiously rested his talons against them.

“Turians just don't like the cold, commander.”

She regarded him silently for a moment, before she burst out laughing. “Really? I'd have _never_ guessed.”


	8. Chapter 8

Noveria had been a shit show, which left Shepard in a bad mood... one that only got worse after dealing with Ashley and her bullshit anti-alien rhetoric. She'd probably been a bit harsh with how she shut the woman down, especially since she'd always prided herself with an open door policy. But she just couldn't deal with Ashley's crap after Noveria.

Of course, Wrex had heard everything as he lounged against the weapon lockers cleaning his shotgun, and even offered to spar so she could blow off some steam. Normally, Shepard would have jumped at the chance of a biotic punch up with Wrex, but she was under strict orders to rest her arm for the next twenty four hours whilst he skin regrew.

Disappointed, she asked for a rain check before heading over to check on Garrus. It hadn't been that long since their return from Noveria, and he'd more than made a point about how much turian's hated the cold. Thankfully, he'd come away with little more than the turian version of a cold, but she still wanted to check on him.

“Shepard, how are you?” Garrus greeted.

He glanced up from his spot on the floor, where he was diligently fixing the Mako's bumper after Wrex had bent it out of shape, and flared his mandibles at her. His gaze then quickly flicked to Ashley, before he tilted his head slightly to the side. Shepard was still no expert on turian expressions, but she got the impression he had overheard her discussion with Ashley... which probably wasn't hard, considering how sound travelled around the hanger.

Not bothering to hide her groan, Shepard slid down the Mako and sat down beside the turian as he continued to bash the Mako back into shape. Absent-mindedly, she passed him the mallet he groped for, before leaning her head back against the cool metal.

“Why did you want to be a C-Sec officer in the first place?” she asked, tiredly.

Garrus flared his mandibles, his gaze assessing as he turned to her. He must have realised she was in desperate need of distraction, since instead of turning back to the repairs, Garrus wiped his gloved hands on an oil rag, before reaching to a cooler box he had stashed beside the tool kit. Shepard chuckled as he tossed her a bottle of water _and_ a levo-MRE bar... she decided she wasn't going to ask.

“Hm... that's a good question,” he rumbled. “There were several reasons, I guess.”

“Such as?” she prompted.

“Probably same as most officers. I wanted to fight for justice, wanted to help people.”

“Never put you down as a romantic, Vakarian,” Shepard teased.

He gave a huff of laughter. “I guess my father had something to do with it, too. He was C-Sec. One of the best.”

Shepard nodded. “I get that. I wanted nothing more than to follow my parents into service.”

Garrus' mandibles flared into a smile. “I grew up hearing about his accomplishments, or seeing his picture on the vids after a big arrest. He's taking my resignation pretty hard.”

“I can't imagine how hard that must be,” she admitted. “You'd think he'd be impressed you're going after Saren.”

“My father's a C-Sec man to the bone,” he sighed. “Do things right or don't do them at all, he says. He thinks I'm being too rash. Too impatient. He's worried I'll become just like Saren.”

Unable to help herself, Shepard reached over and rested her hand on his armour clad forearm. Despite not knowing many turians, she was certain there was sadness behind his even tone; there was certainly a slup to his shoulders that Shepard never seen before and immediately she felt guilty for bringing up the topic.

“That could never happen,” she assured. “You're a good man, Garrus. Sure, you're a hot head, but your heart's in the right place.”

“Th...thanks, Shepard,” he replied, his mandibles fluttering. “My father actually talked me out of becoming a Spectre when I was younger, for the same reason.”

“You were asked to be a Spectre?” she asked, perking up.

Garrus chuckled. “Nothing as spectacular as you, Shepard. I was targeted as a possible Spectre candidate. Me... and about a thousand other turian military recruits. I could have received special training, but my father didn't like it.”

“You'd think he'd be proud of you,” Shepard mused.

“He despises the Spectres. He hates the idea of someone having unlimited power with no accountability. He wouldn't like you, commander or not. No offence,” he continued, seeming a little embarrassed.

“I'm heartbroken,” she said, deadpan. “I can understand his concerns, but not every Spectre is like Saren.”

“He's not going to play by our rules... C-Sec rules. If you want to nail Saren, you need to send someone who isn't restricted by policies or producers.”

“True, but ends don't always justify the means. If we don't stick to our ideals to of justice and helping those in need, we're no better than Saren. We can't stop doing what is right in order to do things fast. We'll find him and we'll stop him, but we wont sacrifice who we are to do it,” she consoled.

Garrus regarded her thoughtfully for a moment, his mandibles flaring slightly in what she thought was a small smile.

“Good point,” he acknowledged. “Thanks, Shepard. It... ah... means a lot that you're willing to discuss this with me.”

“Any time, Garrus,” she grinned, before letting him go back to work.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Nihlus bit back a growl as he eavesdropped on the commander's debrief with the council... though could it really be called eavesdropping, when he was certain Shepard knew he hadn't actually left the comms. room with the others? Sparatus was being even more of pile of varren dung than usual... didn't he realise Shepard could have died on Therum, and though Prothean ruins were important, Nihlus felt a Spectre's life was much more valuable. Not only that, but she'd convinced Benezia's daughter to work with them, effectively thwarting Saren's attempt to 'recruit' the asari... but the damn councillor was questioning her?!

However, the council still didn't know he'd survived Saren's betrayal, and until he felt stronger and Shepard had gained more ground on his old mentor, Nihlus was determined to keep it that way. He was under no illusions of how the council would treat him, likely forcing him to retire from the Spectres, since it was unlikely that he'd ever fully recover from what happened. Not that Doctor Chakwas hadn't done an amazing job, just keeping him alive was a feat in itself. But really, there was only so much could be done for a brain injury and nerve damage. It was a miracle he was able to walk at all, even if he had to rely on cane; at least it wasn't crutches anymore... which had given him new respect for Shepard's pilot.

It was also unlikely he'd ever be able to hold his Assault Rifle again, since his hands trembled too much, and though he'd retained his sight, it certainly wasn't what it was... and that was before the crippling headaches were factored into it. Nihlus knew everyone else was going to write him off, but Shepard hadn't, and the way she treated him now he was in such a sorry state, made him wish even more that he'd have had a chance to properly mentor her... maybe even partner with her.. But he knew that was never going to happen now.

That didn't stop him from going to her when she suddenly screamed the moment the vid call ended. The yell was so full of rage that Nihlus suspected she'd have thrown something, if the seats weren't bolted down. As it was, she was already glowing with biotic energy, so he approached her with caution, making his footsteps as noticeable as possible so he didn't startle her... the last thing he needed was a biotic punch to the gut, especially since he'd seen how hard her and Wrex went at it. However, the moment Shepard realised it was him, she let her biotics dissipate.

Cautiously, he rested his talons on her shoulders, unsure if she'd welcome physical contact from him. So it came as some surprise when Shepard sighed, and let her head drop forward until her forehead rested on his keel. Nihlus couldn't help the chirp of concern that escaped him, nor the rumble of worry that rippled through his sub-harmonics before he purposely let out a comforting purr... Nihlus knew she wouldn't be able to hear it, but the asari he'd been with had said they could feel it, so he hoped Shepard would get some benefit from it.

“Are you... purring?” she asked, curiously.

Nihlus flared his mandibles in a small smile. “Yes. It's a gesture of comfort to my people.”

Shepard chuckled. “You're like a cat.”

“Do I want to know what that is?” he teased.

“A cute animal from earth,” she explained, a smile in her voice. “Almost as adorable as you are.”

“I am not adorable,” Nihlus huffed.

“No... no... you're right. You're a deathly turian, all armoured plates and teeth and claws.”

“And don't you forget it,” he chuckled.

“But you _purr_...” Shepard laughed. “It's just... too damn cute.”

If he could have, Nihlus would have rolled his eyes; a very handy human gesture, or so he thought. Because spirits, the woman could be impossible. But at least she was laughing, which Nihlus considered a win, even if it was at his expense. Shepard had a good laugh, it was infectious. And when she pulled away a little to grin up at him, Nihlus couldn't help nuzzle the top of her unruly red fringe, since he'd recently discovered human's didn't give their 'hair' the same cultural significance that turians did.

However, he hadn't expected Shepard to suddenly push herself up on her toes and press her stupidly soft lips to the side of his mandible.

“Thanks, Nih. I needed that,” she smiled.

He squeezed her shoulders reassuringly. “Any time, Shep.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

“Are you sure?”

Garrus' mandibles fluttered in surprise. As much as he'd _hoped_ the commander would do something after he'd told her the story of Saleon, he hadn't really expected her to ask for the co-ordinates. He certainly didn't think she'd get Joker to waylay their mission to Feros in order to check out his intel. and he definitely wasn't prepared for Shepard to simply _ask_ if he was certain of the salarian's identity once they found him.

But she had asked, and he was sure.

“Positive,” he practically growled.

Shepard nodded once, her gaze never leaving the bastard scientist, before she shrugged.

“Put him down,” she stated, her voice emotionless.

Garrus' mandibles fluttered again. He couldn't believe that _Shepard_... paragon of patience, righteousness and moral choices... was just going to let him shoot the heap of varren shit. He'd expected her to insist on taking Saleon into custody, and follow it up with a lengthy lesson on justice and doing the right thing when he inevitably confronted her later. He just couldn't believe Shepard agreed with him.

Obviously, Wrex must have sensed his confusion and surprise... most like thanks to the sudden flare of his pheromones... since the krogan started to chuckle. Which certainly snapped Garrus out of his momentary stupor.

“Gladly,” he grinned, mirthlessly.

Without much effort, Garrus raised his heavy pistol level with the salerian's head; since his assault rifle would have definitely been over kill, and wasted no time in sinking a bullet right between the bastard's beady eyes. However, even though the piece of shit immediately collapsed to the already blood splattered floor, he couldn't help firing another two shots into the corpse. It was only Shepard's steadying hand on his forearm that stopped him releasing a third.

“We'll get what intel. we can from the terminals, take holos of this room and his victims, find their I.D.s to give their families closure, then Joker can blast this horror ship to pieces,” she said, calmly.

“You're right, commander,” Garrus replied, quietly.

“Already on it, Shep,” Wrex added.

Garrus finished the mission in a daze, still promptly following Shepard's orders, but trying to process what had happened. The level of trust the commander had shown him... he didn't think anyone had ever had so much faith in him. However, it wasn't until the night cycle that he finally had the presence of mind to seek Shepard out and ask her why.

“With what that bastard did? We couldn't risk letting him get probation in a few years and hurting more innocent people,” she stated, almost angrily.

“I agree with you, Shepard. Don't think I don't. I'm just surprised,” he hurriedly explained. “After everything you said before the mission...”

Shepard sighed. “Everything I said still stands. If you don't care about the fate hostages, you're no better than the terrorists your trying to save them from. But that bastard didn't deserve to live, and I couldn't risk him getting out and starting over. Sometimes the right thing isn't the 'by the book' method, but it always has to focus on protecting innocent lives.”

She took a measured breath before offering him a small smile.

“And for the record, I'm not mad at you, Garrus. So you can quit looking at me like I'm a rabid varren about to take your hand off,” she chuckled. “I'm just still worked up after what we found on that ship.”

“I could help with that, if you wanted?”

The words were out of his mouth before Garrus could even think, and he immediately clamped his mandibles tight to his face in embarrassment, his sub-harmonics rumbling with apology. Of course, if he was on a turian vessel it wouldn't have mattered so much, but the Normandy wasn't part of the Hierarchy. Though, instead of being offended, Shepard merely snorted.

“You sure you want to go toe to toe with me, Vakarian?”

Garrus let out a small sigh of relief... at least she hadn't taken it as a come-on, since even on a turian vessel he wouldn't be stupid or bold enough to proposition his commanding officer. However, Shepard did have a point. He had seen how she sparred with Wrex after all; the only one onboard crazy enough to challenge the commander. She didn't pull her punches, and considering she often made the krogan stagger after a hit, Garrus knew she was formidable even in a friendly spar.

“You might have a point,” he chuckled, nervously. “I should probably leave that to Wrex.”

“Aw... big bad turian scared of a little squishy human?” Shepard teased.

He couldn't help how his mandibles flared in a wide grin at her banter. “No... but I'm healthily terrified of you, commander.”


	11. Chapter 11

There was something... _off_ with Zhu's Hope, and not just because it was crawling with geth. There was just something... _strange_ with the colonists, and not just the 'sick' man they encountered in the crumbling prothean tunnels below the settlement. It put Shepard on edge. It was obvious something wasn't right on Feros, and she was certain that Fai Dan was hiding something from them. But even after helping the settlement with their food, power and water supply issues, Shepard still couldn't get any answers.

Her gut instincts screamed that something was wrong, so when she hunkered down for the night in the port with Garrus and Wrex; having ordered Joker to orbit the planet to scout for any more geth ships, Shepard insisted on taking watch. There was no way she was going to risk something happening to her team... her friends.

“Commander... Shepard... you don't need to do that. I'll keep watch,” Garrus offered, kindly.

“No, it's alright. Just try get some shut eye,” she replied, smiling.

“Pardon the insubordination, but human's require more sleep than turians. You should rest, commander,” he argued, politely.

“But a sniper is no good if they're half asleep, Vakarian,” Shepard countered.

Wrex's laugh filled the small cabin they were sharing for the night.

“Would you two love birds pipe down,” he grinned. “That's the right saying, isn't it Shep?”

She snorted, rolling her eyes. “You're so full of shit.”

“But I'm not the one sniffing around you like a varren in heat,” the krogan chuckled.

Garrus' mandibles flared in shock, and his icy blue eyes looked at her in fear. “Shepard... I'm... I'm not. I swear... I...”

Shepard didn't think anything of the teasing, already used to Wrex brand of bullshit. However, even ignoring Garrus' stuttering, his neck was flushed an alarming shade of blue... was he, blushing? Shepard hadn't know turians could blush. But as he ducked his head, avoiding her gaze when she tried to catch his eye, she realised Garrus was actually embarrassed by what Wrex had said. Shepard couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her... he was adorable. Though she figured telling him that would probably make him even more uncomfortable.

“No... you're the one who just talked himself into watch duty,” she teased.

Wrex shrugged. “You don't get to my age without learning to function without sleep. You and the kid get some rest... but no funny business, I'm not into that kinky shit.”

At the sudden shrill chirp that escaped Garrus, Shepard couldn't help laughing. In fact, she laughed so hard she doubled over, and promptly fell off the put up cot that was masquerading as a bed. Wrex's rolling laughter soon joined her own, and through the tears in her eyes, Shepard could see Garrus' looking between them utterly bewildered.

"Oh my fucking god, you guys are trying to kill me!” she heaved out between chuckles.

“Good to know the thought of me naked amuses you so much,” Garrus suddenly stated, deadpan.

“That's the spirit,” she chuckled, winking.

“Better than being scared of you,” Wrex grinned. “Can you imagine Alenko naked?”

Shepard blew out an annoyed huff of air. “I'd really rather not. I mean, he's a nice enough guy and all, but... no thanks.”

“So no patter of tiny human feet on the horizon?” the krogan teased.

She gave him a withering look. “There's more chance of us producing some human-krogan halfbreed than me having babies with Kaidan.”

“I thought you were the human-krogan halfbreed,” Garrus teased.

“You bastards!” Shepard laughed. “See... this is why I bring you guys on nearly every mission.”

“To make you look more stylish?” the turian sassed, obviously having recovered from his previous embarrassment.

“I thought it was no one called you out when you headbutted our opponents,” Wrex stated. “By the way, nice job on that Juggernaut earlier.”

Shepard lobbed her helmet half heartedly at the krogan. “You're such an ass... you both are!”

“You love it,” he retorted.

“Never said I didn't, big guy,” she replied, suppressing a yawn. “But we should really get some rest before we have to head out again.”

“Go to sleep, Shep,” Wrex instructed. “You too, turian. I'll keep watch 'til morning.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

Agitated, Nihlus had paced in the Mess Hall for a whole thirty galactic minutes before storming over to Shepard's cabin. He wasn't the most skilled hacker out there, but he made short work of her lock and walked in unabashed. He was worried about her, after all. He'd read her Feros report, heard about her Thorian, and her mind meld with the asari commando. Spirits! He'd even watched as she 'Embraced Eternity' with Doctor T'Soni during the debrief. She'd waved on her feet, still dressed into her battered armour, before casually asking her pilot to connect her with the coucil.

Nihlus could smell the fatigue rolling off her, never mind see the dullness of her skin and the droop of her shoulders. He could also smell blood, but since that could be a result of her grim covered armour, he hadn't pushed. However, Shepard had been in her cabin for far too long. The worry was driving him insane, because damn it, she was still his mentee... his friend.

“You know, you could have knocked, like any normal person.”

He could hear the amusement in her voice, despite the fact she'd narrowed her eyes at him, as she glanced over her shoulder. However, he couldn't pay much attention to the look she was giving him, since he'd honed in on the expanse of bare flesh that the commander had on show, and not because she was attractive... which Shepard was... but because her back was marred by painful looking blisters; her skin looking raw and even peeling off in some areas. It looked horrendous, like someone had thrown acid at her.

Unable to control it, a worried rumble escaped him. One loud enough that even Shepard hear it, if the sudden frown on her face was any indication. Nihlus hurried to her side, or at least hobbled as quickly as his weak body would let him, and his hands hovered nervously over her. However, he didn't dare touch Shepard's back, lest he caused her any further pain, so he settled for letting one hand find hers and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“I take it that it's looks as bad as it feels?” she quipped.

“Spirits, Shepard! What happened?!” he whispered, horrified.

“Fucking thorian creeper is what happened,” she grumbled.

“Why weren't Wrex and Garrus watching your six?” Nihlus demanded, suddenly angry.

“Because they were busy helping me kill the hoard in front of us,” Shepard replied matter-of-fact.

Nihlus sagged at her explanation... because of course those two would have protected her if they could. How Shepard had won over a krogan so easily was beyond him, but it was obvious the merc. would die for the commander if he had to. Then there was Vakarian, who Nihlus had a sneaky suspicious had feelings of the less than platonic variety for the commander... which he probably hadn't even admitted to himself, if the conflicting pheromones he gave off where any indication... and he knew the young turian would defend Shepard to the death as well.

Though that didn't stop him being furious. One of the few people he considered a friend had been injured, and his pathetic body was too weak to go out and help her on missions. It was maddening... rage educing... and damn heart wrenching. Unable to help himself, Nihlus let out a soft keen, before gently nuzzling her fiery hair.

“Why haven't you seen Chakwas?”

“I have, just didn't want to hang around whilst the others were being patched,” Shepard said, quietly. “Another creeper vomited on Wrex, the acid ate through his arm guard, and a colonist got a lucky shot on Garrus. I didn't want them to feel any more guilty about this than they already do. I mean... have you _heard_ a krogan battlemaster beg for forgiveness? Strange isn't the word.”

Nihlus' mandibles flutter in a mimic of a smile. “Is there... anything I can do to help?”

“Well, if it's not too weird for you, you can help me out of the rest of this.” She gestured to her battered armour. “Chakwas has already dosed me up on pain killers, and the medi-gel should start to kick in soon... or at least, I hope it does. Stings like a bitch.”

“An attractive woman like you? I'm sure I'll find you anything but weird,” Nihlus bantered.

Shepard rolled her eyes at him. “Alright, Cassanova. Just try not to swoon at my sex appeal, okay?”

“What? The thought of a turian on his knees in front of you not appealing, Shep?” he teased.

“Depends if they're as handsome as you, Nih,” she countered.

Nihlus couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him, his mandibles flaring into a wide, honest grin. This was why he liked Shepard so much. She was laid back, with a similar sense of humour to him, and always game for some light hearted flirting. Slipping into their usual routine of suggestive banter help Nihlus relax a little. If she could tease him despite being in what was probably a great amount of pain, he knew she'd be okay... she was Commander Shepard after all.


	13. Chapter 13

Garrus hadn't seen Shepard since the debrief after Feros, he'd smelt blood on her but it was faint, masked by the stench of creeper acid and his own blood. But he was sure she was hiding something, she was moving too stiffy... to slowly... and Garrus was certain she was injured. Spirits! Even Nihlus had smelt of blood and medi-gel after seeing Shepard, and the Spectre was still confined to the ship.

So when Garrus saw Shepard exit the elevator, stopping to briefly talk to Wrex before sauntering over to him, he couldn't help scent the air. He also couldn't control the relieved purr that escaped him, when he could no longer smell blood on her... it finally felt like he could breathe again.

“Shepard. I.... um... what can I do for you?” he greeted, tripping over his words in his relief.

“Something bothering you?” she chuckled.

Garrus floundered for a second. He couldn't very well tell his commanding officer he'd lost sleep last night worrying about her. It'd sound as if he was questioning not only her decisions, but her strength and resilience as well. He couldn't have Shepard thinking he doubted her. But equally, he didn't want to lie to her... not wanting to do anything to jeopardise the trust she had in him.

“It's ah... Saren,” he told her, instead. “I'm starting to wonder whether we'll ever find him. He's always one step ahead of us, and he's got those damn geth...”

“We're getting close, Garrus. We'll find him.”

His mandibles quivered slightly as she lay a comforting had on his shoulder, that was free of armour for a change thanks to a fluke bullet from one of the Feros colonists. The injury no longer hurt, but he was under strict instructions to let it rest for twenty four hours, which meant no armour. Something that was making him feel vulnerable on the Alliance ship, but being able to feel Shepard's warmth through her palm as she smiled up at him reassuringly, was worth the discomfort he'd been feeling all morning.

“I wish I had your confidence, Shepard,” he confessed. “I just can't stand the thought of him getting away with everything he's done. I know you're doing everything you can, and if anyone can catch him, it's you. But... if there's anything else I can do to help... _anything_... just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it.”

Oh, he was glad Nihlus wasn't around to hear the thrum of want... need... that rippled through his sub-harmonics. Garrus could admit, at least to himself, that it was more than a subordinate wanting to be useful. He wanted to help his friend, to ease the burden Shepard shouldered without complaint every day. She'd helped him with Saleon, and he desperately wanted to repay the favour.

“I understand your concern, but we will find him. Just make sure you're ready to go when we do.”

“Yes ma'am, you can count on me.” Garrus barely resisted the urge to salute.

Shepard chuckled. “Ma'am? Didn't know you were into that sort of thing, Vakarian.”

For a moment he sputtered, his mandibles fluttering nervously, unsure what exactly he was supposed to say to that. But then Shepard gently bumped her shoulder into his, smirking as she leant against the Mako. Garrus let out a relieved sigh. She was just joking. Sure, they bantered all the time, but he didn't have the quads that Wrex or Nihlus had; he was always nervous about accidently stepping over some unseen line with her. But beginning to relax, Garrus offered her a small smile

“Thanks for hearing me out, Shepard. I appreciate it,” he told her, honestly. “Can I... ask you something, commander?”

“I always have time for you, Garrus, you should know that,” she smiled. “But cut the commander crap, huh?”

“Sorry, Shepard,” he chuckled. “I was just wondering, are you worried that the Council might be protecting Saren? I mean, they were really dragging their heels before. What if we find him, bring him back to the Citadel, and they refuse to act?”

She nodded, thoughtfully. “It's a possibility, but I get the feeling that isn't a question. Speak your mind, Garrus.”

Trying to relax, or at least appear calm, he went to lean beside her. They were friends. Sure, Shepard was his commanding officer, but she treated him like an equal. Actually, he noticed she treated all the non-human members of the team as equals... and the pilot too, actually. What that man got away with often left Garrus slack jawed, but that was besides the point. Shepard was asking him to talk to her like an equal, not a subordinate, and though it twisted his gizzards with nerves, he was damn well going to act like he was worth her respect.

“Well, maybe we shouldn't give them the chance, Shepard,” he stated, trying to sound confident. “In my opinion, Saren's too dangerous to be kept alive. Too much could happen. He could escape, or the Council might let him go. If we find him... when we find him... I say we make sure we stop him. Permanently.”

The grin Shepard gave him was almost feral. “I'm glad you see it that way. I never had any intention of capturing that bastard. When I see him, he dies.”

“Good. The Council won't like it, but they can't stop you, either. You see, this is why I want to be a Spectre,” he chuckled. “You never have to worry about bureaucratic idiots making a mess of everything.”

“Yet they still try,” she laughed, bumping his shoulder again. “Just make sure you're ready when it happens.”

“Yes ma'am,” he teased, actually saluting her this time.

Shepard rolled her eyes, still smiling. “Why do I always end up with the sassy ones?” 


	14. Chapter 14

Shepard rolled her shoulders as soon as she dropped her armour in the cleaning unit. After Feros, she'd traded up for a set of Ariake Technologies' Mercenary Armour, and she was still getting used to the wait difference. On the plus side, she now matched Wrex, which had apparently made it easier for Garrus to identify them as he sniped their enemies down on X57.

With a disgruntled groan, Shepard flopped face first onto her bunk. Thankfully Anderson had seen fit to install a better mattress than the Alliance usually provided, otherwise she'd have probably broken her nose; she still wasn't convinced crew bunks were more luxuries than sleeper pods... so there really were perks to being the commanding officer, she wasn't convinced it balanced out the paper work, but at least it was something.

Just as she was mulling that over, her door... that Shepard knew she'd locked... slid open with a quiet whoosh. There was only one ass hole on board that would dare bypass her lock; okay two, but Joker at least knew better. Her groan was muffled by the mattress, and taking more effort than she cared to admit, Shepard managed to roll onto her back just as Nihlus sat down on the foot of her bed.

“You know, clothes are usually removed before the groaning starts, Shepard,” he teased.

“Fucking turian... be glad I like you Nih, or I'd literally Throw you out of my quartres!”

Nihlus made a sound vaguely similar to a human tutting, prompting Shepard to glare at him balefully. By all accounts, the mission on the asteroid had been a success. She'd stopped a heinous band of batarian pirates from sending the highjacked rock on a collision course with Terra Nova, with the help of Garrus and Wrex. They'd saved all but one civilian, at least those that had still been alive when the Mako had touched down at any rate, but in order to do so, she'd had to let the leader go. Shepard knew it was the right thing to do, but the knowledge of Balak getting away with what he did sat heavy in her gut.

“Who bent your fringe out of shape?” he chuckled.

Despite the teasing tone, Shepard had learnt enough about her fellow Spectre to spot some of his tells. His avian eyes were roaming her body critically, trying to assess for injuries. His cane was still propped against his knee instead of discarded on the floor, in case she needed his assistant. He was as primed and ready to help her as his body let him, and regardless of his now prolific breaking and entering, Shepard did feel guilty for letting her bad mood slip into their conversation.

“Sorry Nih, still stewing on the mission I guess,” she sighed. “So... any particular reason you hacked my lock, or is this a social call?”

“Maybe I was hoping you needed help undressing again,” he chuckled, before giving her knee a squeeze. “There's been scuttlebutt among the crew... the Alliance crew... Joker brought it to my attention.”

“Because it wouldn't be the first time someone 'accidentally' tripped him over, landing him in hospital, if he came to me himself,” Shepard supplied, angry. “Go on... what is it this time? Someone convinced I'm sleeping with one of the crew? Or that I fucked someone on the council to be made Spectre?”

“It's actually about your ground team,” Nihlus explained, calmly. “He didn't give names, but said he heard complaints about you always taking Vakarian and Wrex planet side with you, instead of those two marines on your squad.”

“Oh... so no-ones bothered that Tali and Liara don't go planet side?” she snorted. “What a fucking surprise.”

Discovering she'd somehow developed a crick in her lower back from simply lying on her bed, Shepard winced as she pushed herself up right. Not the worst feeling in the world, but still not pleasant, which certainly did nothing for her mood.

Not long ago, she'd heard herself described as a soldier with a diplomatic mind on some radio talk show on the Citadel. And though it was true she preferred to stay calm and collect in unfavourable situation, to be polite and open minded with her crew, there was nothing diplomatic about how Shepard was feeling. After what had gone down on X-52, she was done with bullshit. So with only a quick glance at her holo-clock to check the time, she stormed into the Mess Hall, knowing full well it was meal time.

In an instant, the normally loud room was deathly silent.

“It has recently come to my attention that some among you have been questioning my choices as commanding officer, namely, who I have on my ground team,” she stated, forcefully. “I am not referring to private discussions I've had with certain individuals, as I am satisfied that those issues have been addressed and my stance on those matters made perfectly clear.”

Shepard crossed her arms and looked around the room at large, not making it obvious she was referring to both Presley and Ashley, but they both gave imperceivable nods acknowledging that they understood.

“However, I am aware there has been... dissatisfaction about who I take one missions,” she continued, her voice like steel. “Now, it may have escaped some of your notice that I am not just an Alliance commander, who is bound by protocol regarding who I gave have on my team. I am a council Spectre, tasked with keeping galactic peace for _all_ races.”

She paused for a moment to let that sink in, noticing how Liara, Tali and even Garrus started to look uncomfortable. Wrex of course just grinned at her, and she figured he already knew where she was going with her rant. Which really wouldn't surprise her, since they thought alike on a startling amount of topics.

“I am sure all Alliance personnel have noticed we have non-human crew members. Before the attack on Eden Prime, Nihlus was assigned as my mentor. Since being instated, he has become my partner and his insights have been invaluable to our mission to stop Saren.”

There was a chuckle from behind her, and glancing over her shoulder, Shepard found Nihlus leant against the bulkhead and giving her a look that on a human she'd have called affectionate. She rolled her eyes at him, before turning back to the gathered crew.

“Doctor T'Soni, despite her inherent biotics, is not a combatant. Neither is Miss Zorah nar Rayya, regardless of her combat training before leaving the Flotilla. They are both integral to my team, but their talents as a prothean expert and a mechanist respectively, are better put to use on board the Normandy.”

At her words, Liara flushed a pretty shade of periwinkle blue and Tali ducked her head. Which was probably the quarian equivalent, since their race heavily relied on body language since their faces were covered by their enviro-masks at all times.

“Then of course, there is Urdnot Wrex and Officer Vakarian,” Shepard stated, nodded to both males. “Wrex is a krogan Battlemaster with nearly a _thousand_ years of battle experience. He's a war veteran and warrior without equal. I would be an idiot not to have him watching my back during a mission.”

“I have an equal, Shepard,” he rumbled. “I've had the pleasure of seeing you fight. You should have been born krogan.”

She gave Wrex a smirk, as the gathered crew began the whispered amongst themselves, obviously not expect that revelation. She gave them a moment out of courtesy, before pointedly clearing her thought.

“Which leaves Officer Vakarian. As most of you know, Garrus was a notable C-Sec officer before her resigned in order to join the hunt for Saren... a pretty bold move, I'm sure you'll agree. He had the drive and the tenacity to leave a secure job, join an alien crew, in order to follow his conviction. He is an excellent marksman and a budding tactician. As such, I chose to mentor Vakairan in the same way Nihlus intended to mentor me.”

Garrus' mandibles fluttered in what Shepard had learnt was shock... she really needed to get a quiet moment to talk to him after this clusterfuck was dealt with, since it was never Shepard's intention to just spring that sort of information on him. Not that she didn't mean every word, but she'd have preferred to talk to him in private, and maybe give him a little nudge towards re-applying for the Spectres. Because from what she'd seen so far, Garrus would make a bloody good one.

“Regardless of these facts, I know there are still some of you who think I should have humans accompany on ground missions. I am here to tell you to shove your bigoted opinions up your asses,” she grit out, letting her anger become evident. “I am not diminishing the abilities or achievements of Alenko and William, the two human members of the ground team. I am not disparaging them as people or as soldiers. However I will not be assigning them to my team.”

The two marines looked less than happy with her declaration, but at this point, Shepard was pretty much passed caring. They were both good soldiers, however she wasn't convinced they were good people. Ashley was one of the most bigoted people she had ever met, and Kaidan tried to twist everything she said when they talked into some kind of sign she was interested in him. She didn't trust them to watch her back... she didn't trust them as far as she could throw them, fellow Alliance soldiers or not.

“Wrex and Garrus have _earned_ my respect and my trust,” Shepard stated, firmly. “I can place my life in their hands with confidence. And with Liara, Tali and Nihlus providing intel. via the comms, we've had a hundred percent success rate. Which to me proves I have the best on my team. However, that isn't to say there aren't members of the Alliance crew who I would want to be without. Three people... fellow humans... that I'd trust with my life unequivocally. Mr Moreau, Doctor Chakwas and Engineer Adams. You three are indispensable to my team, let alone the crew of my ship.”

Shepard paused in her tirade, her eyes narrowed as she practically glared around the room. In her entire military career she had never lost it, not even once. But she was done with the petty bullshit. Honestly, depending on what happened after this impromptu meeting, Shepard was sorely tempted to resign from the Alliance altogether and concentrate solely on her Spectre duties.

“With that in mind, the rest of you have twenty four hours. You either fall in line or get the hell off my ship. I don't care if the Normandy is an Alliance vessel, it has been given to me for the duration of our hunt for Saren. I am not beyond hiring a new grew, and Joker will be setting a course for the Citadel, so any of you who are not happy can disembark and await for new assignment. Do I make myself clear?”

Joker tipped his hat at her... definitely not a sanctioned Alliance salute, which probably meant he was happy following her 'non-regulation' orders. Chakwas smiled at her from the back of the room, before heading back to the MedBay, so Shepard assumed the doctor was also happy to stay. There were grumbles and whispers and shocked looks from the rest of the crew; even her team seemed stunned by her outburst, but instead of waiting for an answer Shepard declared:

“Dismissed!”

Before turning on her heel and storming back to her quarters with her head held high... she wasn't at all surprised that Nihlus followed her. Though she didn't expect him to reach out and grab her shoulder, turning her to face him with remarkable strength considering his hands still trembled, before he silently pressed his forehead to hers. It was an oddly... soothing gesture, intimate too, and Shepard found herself finally relaxing; her shoulders sagging in relief as she exhaled slowly.

“Thanks, Nih,” she whispered.

“Any time, Shep.”


	15. Chapter 15

Garrus hung around the mess hall long after the other crew had left, and though he sat alone, his mandibles fluttered uneasily. The tension had been so palpable when the commander had left, that there seemed to be a lingering atmosphere that clung to the room. It left Garrus feeling on edge, but he desperately wanted to talk to Shepard, preferably before anyone else got to her. Of course, he knew she was in her quarters... so was Nihlus... and he didn't want to risk interrupting anything. Not that he knew if there would be anything to interrupt, but considering the anger he could smell on Shepard earlier, Garrus _really_ didn't want to take that chance.

“Commander... Shepard... do you have a minute?” he called, the moment she strode out of her room.

He instinctively tensed when she looked at him... not that he thought Shepard would lash out at him, not really, but it certainly wouldn't be the first time he'd managed to coax a commanding officers ire towards himself. So he almost fell off his chair when she actually smiled at him, grabbing two bottles of water from the cool and tossing him one, before sitting down beside him.

“Of course I do. What's up?”

"I wanted to thank you,” he smiled, genuinely.

“What for, Garrus?” she asked, confused.

“For everything,” he chuckled. “For what you said before, taking me with you, letting me be part of your team. I've learnt a lot.”

Shepard beamed at him, her hand lightly squeezing his in an almost affectionate gesture. A happy rumble thrummed through his sub-harmonics, which of course happened at exactly the same time Nihlus finally limped out of Shepard's quarters carrying a stack of datapads. Thankfully, the other turian merely flared his mandibles in a knowing smile, before heading to the MedBay.

“I'm happy to hear that,” the commander stated. “I meant what I said earlier. You're already good, but you have great potential, Garrus.”

He couldn't control the blue blush that spread across the hide of his neck at her praise, and he had to consciously dampen the bashful note that had entered his sub-harmonics... Garrus knew if Nihlus heard it he'd never hear the end of it.

“I've... uh... thought a lot about what you said,” he continued. “About eliminating the threat immediately, regardless of the cost. You were right, Shepard.”

“Thank you,” she smiled. “It takes a lot of courage to evaluate yourself and admit when you're wrong. I'm proud of you.”

Garrus knew the blush was getting worse, and he prayed to the Spirits that Wrex didn't suddenly come looking for Shepard, since he could easily imagine how wild his pheromones were running... he certainly hadn't been bothering trying to control them, too caught up in trying to reign in his sub-harmonics. However, he needed finish what he started.

“You were right about Saleon too,” he told her. “Killing him was the only solution, we know he'll never hurt anyone again.”

“I'm glad you see it that way. Keep that in mind when we meet Saren.”

The smile she gave him had an edge to it, one that Garrus fully appreciated. Without thinking, he returned her grin in kind.

“Don't worry, Shepard. I Will.”

 


	16. Chapter 16

After the dressing down Shepard gave the crew, Nihlus was apprehensive about the detour she took to Pinnacle Station before stopping at the Citadel as she'd threatened. He couldn't understand how running some simulations was a good idea with the sullen mood that hung over the crew. Oh... he figured blowing up things might help the the ground team, but the rest? He wasn't sure. However, Nihlus still covered his colony markings to hide his identity so he could accompany the others, and there did seem to be an almost immediate change in the crew the moment they stepped onto the station.

“Thirty credits the commander can beat the first simulation with Tali and Vakarian,” someone shouted.

“Fifty says she can do it with Tali and Liara,” said another.

It carried on in the same vein, crew members calling out squad suggestions and scenarios, placing bets, with Shepard and her team fulfilling their requests. She teamed up with Tali and Liara, Alenko and Williams, Alenko and Vakarian, Wrex and Tali, Williams and Liara... on and on until every conceivable rotation had been done except her regular squad. But when Ahern had offered Shepard his special scenario, there was only one team the crew wanted to see in action.

And it wasn't just the crew who were eager to watch the scenario, it seemed the entire station tuned in to watch on the holoscreens. Even that heap of varren dung Vidinos was there, not to mention the poor guard who fell over himself whenever Shepard entered the room. Not the Nihlus could blame his fellow turian, the commander was a enticing, formidable woman.

So after she'd beaten the simulation, earning Ahern's respect _and_ his retirement apartment... something Nihlus couldn't stop laughing about... he could hardly say no when Shepard sidled up to him, with that Spirits-damned smirk, and asked him to partner with her. Though he couldn't help hesitate. It was the first day he'd been without the cane and his hands still trembled.

“Shepard... I don't...”

“Simple survival mission, no cameras and Ochren's safety measures back on,” she wheeled. “Or what? Still think you work better on your own?”

Nihlus stared at her for a moment, dumbfounded, until he burst out laughing. He nuzzled the top of her head, more surprised at himself for being shocked, instead of the fact Shepard finally called him on that. Actually, it should have probably been more surprising she waited as long as she had.

A purr rumbled in his chest as Shepard pulled him into a hug. It was strange gesture to a turian, even after socialising with asari for so many centuries, but he still wrapped his arms around her armoured shoulders.

Was there any point in trying to argue? Nihlus knew Shepard wouldn't set him up for embarrassment or put him in a situation were he could be injured. Though he was under no illusion that even the easiest scenario was going to be tough on him, Nihlus could appreciate what Shepard was trying to do, easing him into combat again. However, before he could relent to her suggestion, that damn Vidinos had to stick his mandibles into their business.

“You're fucking a _human_?” he snarled.

The entire room went silent, and Nihlus' sub-harmonics rumbled in warning. It didn't matter that the accusation was bullshit... as Shepard was fond of saying. She was his friend, probably the best he'd ever had, and he wouldn't let some ass hole put her down. The fact she was actually beginning to glow with biotic energy gave Nihlus the impression Shepard felt the same about him, which would have been endearing if her wasn't so angry.

Vidions' talons twitched for his side arm. However, out of everyone in the room, including the guards, it was Wrex that made the first move, strolling over to them both before affectionately headbutting Shepard.

“When did you two ass holes become such saps?” she snorted.

“You have that affect on people, Shepard,” Vakarian grinned.

Nihlus chuckled as the younger turian came over to lay his on the commander's shoulder. However, he out right laughed when Tali rushed over to embrace Shepard, and even Liara followed shyly behind before being pulled into the hug with the other two women. Though whilst they were distracted, Nihlus and Garrus rumbled threateningly at Vidions, whilst Wrex loomed menacingly.

“You fuckers do know I can protect my own honour, right?” Shepard suddenly laughed.

“Give us this, Shepard,” Nihlus chuckled.

“You normally shoot everything before we can threaten them,” Vakarian teased.

“I just like threatening turians,” Wrex shrugged.

“Wow, commander... good to see how stable and well adjusted your closet friends are,” Joker goaded from the crowd.

“Explains why I keep you around,” Shepard shot back, before sobering. “But for the record, me and Casanova here aren't fucking. Not that I'm opposed to the idea, he's a good looking male. However, he _is_ my partner and my friend. I won't take anyone giving him or the rest of my team any shit.”

“I thought we were the ones doing the threatening,” Nihlus laughed.

“Shepard grinned a little savagely. “What? And let you have all the fun?”

 


	17. Chapter 17

Virmire had pretty scenery... but that was about all it had going for it. Which was a shame, as Shepard had always loved the beach. Even after her Dad passed away, the seaside holidays with her mother and Uncle David had been her happiest childhood memories. Unfortunately, she wasn't there for a relaxing vacation, and the sheer number of geth and those damn AA towers had certainly sapped any joy she might have gotten from the scenery.

So Shepard had been pissed off before they'd reached the salarian camp, and then found out the Normandy was grounded thanks to another shit tonne of AA towers. But learning that they were outside Saren's base, where he was breeding an army of krogan, had sent Shepard's fingers twitching for her shotgun; wishing another geth would show up so she had something to shoot. However when the fucking salarian captain had the gall to imply Wrex and his people were a mistake... well, Shepard was seething.

“That _krogan_ has a name,” she spat. “And I'll warn you now, he has more loyalty from me than you'll ever earn.”

She'd enough racist crap to last her a lifetime, and she wasn't about to put up with a jumped up salarian insinuating crap about one of her best friends. Shepard didn't even wait for his reply, or bother to hear what Alenko and Williams had to say, before she jogged down the beach after Wrex. She found him blasting some unexpected aquatic life with his shotgun, and without a word, she Lifted them out the water so he could get a better aim. Wrex lowered his shotgun before turning his beady red eyes on her.

“This isn't right, Shepard,” he rumbled. “If there's a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it.”

“Wrex... I understand you're upset, and you know I have your back,” she placated. “Saren's the enemy here, he's the one you should be angry with.”

“Really? Saren created a cure for my people. You want to destroy it,” he spat. “Help me out here, Shepard. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand.”

“I don't want to destroy it,” she stated, honestly. “But we both know that's not a cure, it's a weapon. If Saren is allowed to use it, you won't be around to reap the benefits. None of us will.”

“That's a chance we should be willing to take,” Wrex argued, getting in her face. “This is the fate of my entire people we're talking about. I've been loyal to you so far, hell... you did more for me than my family even did, but if I'm going to keep following you, I need to know we're doing it for the right reasons.”

The moment he finished speaking, Wrex fell into an offensive stand and levelled his shotgun at her heart. Immediately, Shepard activated her biotics, pulling a Barrier around them both. The krogan blinked at her, clearly surprised she hadn't reached for her own shotgun. She took a step forward, until the barrel of his gun touched her chest piece, not knowing how else to show him her trust. The Barrier was to keep him safe, since everyone on the beach had drawn their own weapons when he'd levelled his gun at her, but Shepard knew Wrex. If he was going to try kill her, he'd have aimed at her gut... a slow painful death for someone who betrayed him. Hell, if he wanted her dead, he'd have shot her on sight, not talked about it first. The gun at her heart was a warning, nothing more.

“Wrex, these krogan are not your people,” she said, patiently. “They're slaves of Saren, tools. Is that what you want for them?”

He looked her in the eye for a long weighted moment, before finally lowering his shotgun.

“No... we were tools for the council once. As thanks for wiping out the racni, they neutered us all. I doubt Saren will be so generous,” he admitted.

Without a word, she grabbed the front of Wrex' armour, pulling him down until his scarred face was level with hers. He looked at her curiously, until she gave him a gentle headbutt. Shepard wanted him to know she understood. Most races in the galaxy would have argued verbally, krogan were more... physical when it came to their anger. She respected that, and wanted Wrex to know she was still on his side, still his friend. After a moment, his hot breath puffed over her face as he sighed, before lightly headbutting her back.

“Alright, Shepard. You made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead,” he told her. “Just one thing. When we find Saren, I want his head.”

“On a silver platter,” she promised. “Nihlus can have the body for target practise.”

Before lowering the Barrier, Shepard clasped his forearm... a warrior's handshake for the krogan people... which he returned without hesitation, even as his red eyes scanned her face, obviously trying to figure out what she was up to. She gave him the feral smiled she'd perfected during their mission, all teeth and simmering fury.

“We'll get that cure, Wrex,” she swore to him. “Whatever data we can find in there, we'll take it. We'll make copies. I'll take one, you'll take one. Fuck. Nihlus and Garrus and Tali and Liara will take one. It won't get lost. It won't get destroyed. We will get your people a cure Wrex. I can't tell you when, but we _will_ get one.”

“I believe you, Shepard,” he told her, solemnly. Before a slow grin spread over his face. “Though you met want to lower the Barrier. Those salarians are looking twitchy. Probably worried you're plotting to wipe _them_ out.”

Shepard smirked. “After what that bastard said about you? Who says I'm not?”


	18. Chapter 18

Garrus growled as he passed outside the MedBay. Virmire had been a shit show... as Shepard would say. Or at least she would, if she didn't have a partially crushed windpipe.

Another furious growl escaped him, making several Alliance crew members scurry away and Liara flinch, but to her credit, the asari didn't flee. Neither did Tali, or Wrex, or Nihlus. All of them had taken up position outside the MedBay whilst Doctor Chakwas and her assistant tendered Shepard and Alenko; the latter being treated for a gunshot wound to the stomach, courtesy of the geth whilst he was arming the bomb. The former suffering from damage to her throat, since Saren nearly choked her to death.

Once again, Garrus couldn't control his angry growl as he paced.

Sure, he'd managed to distract Saren by shooting out his Barrier, which let Wrex charge the bastard, making him drop Shepard. But that didn't make it right. The commander had been injured... on _his_ watch. Garrus would never forgive himself.

Then there was Alenko, the Spirits-damned dead weight. Fine, he got shot whilst trying to arm the bomb. But Spirits! Shepard carried the man out of the blast zone; Garrus had almost forgot how short the commander was, until he'd seen how comical it was to watch her haul Alenko over her shoulder like a sack of spuds... another phrase he'd learnt from Shepard. And this was all whilst she was suffering from a partially crushed windpipe, which none of them had realised, until she collapsed in the decon. chamber. _Then_ Alenko had been thoughtful enough to stumble his own way to MedBay, whilst Garrus had carried a barely conscious commander.

Chakwas was working on her now, and though the doctor had even stated it was a minor injury considered some of the other stunts Shepard had pulled, Garrus wasn't feeling any better about the situation. She had never been injured on a mission with him and Wrex before, they had never let her down. But now...

Garrus growled again, raking his talons along his fringe in agitation.

Though that wasn't even the worst of it. Shepard was a soldier, a damn good one. He didn't doubt for a moment that she'd shrug off the injury like it hadn't happened, but Garrus knew in his gizzards she wouldn't be able to get passed Williams' death so easily. He'd seen the tears in her eyes when Ashley had told her she knew she wasn't getting off the planet. He'd heard her voice crack when she told the gunnery chief she was sorry. He'd smelt her anguish when they'd turned and headed back to the bomb site to help Alenko.

He had no idea how humans mourned. He didn't know how the Alliance honoured their dead. But whatever it was, Garrus was determined to be by Shepard's side through it... she just needed to wake up first.

 


	19. Chapter 19

Nihlus' sub-harmonics rumbled in anger and annoyance as he watched Alenko question Shepard during the Virmire debrief, something he knew Vakarian heard and Wrex probably smelt. He didn't care. He knew the other males were also disgusted with how the lieutenant acted like a varren in heat around the commander. She was their friend, and it was obvious to see Alenko's advances were unwelcome. Of course, Shepard was too polite to tell the ass hole to fuck off, leaving her to need to complain to him about every conversation she had with the lieutenant. Who seemed to be able to twist everything she said into some kind of 'sign' that his feelings were reciprocated... it was sickening.

Like now for instance, where he through a pity party... a wonderful human saying in Nihlus' opinion... about Shepard saving his life. Burdening her with more guilty over William's death than the considerable amount she already felt, and she'd only been out of MedBay for thirty standard galactic minutes.

For Spirits' sake, turian's sense of smell was not as acute as a krogan's or a salarian's, but even he could detect the scent of hope and excitement when Shepard explained her reasons for saving 'him'... it didn't matter that she was actually protecting the bomb, ensuring that it put an end to Saren's scheme on Virmire. It was obvious Alenko was convinced had done it to save his life.

But somehow, Nihlus managed to keep from growling throughout the debrief, and left with the others when a dejected Shepard agreed to speak to the council. However, just like the others, he hung around outside the comms. room, and nodded his head to Wrex in approval when the krogan used his boot to stop the door from fully closing; allowing them to hear the bastard councillors scoff at the reaper threat.

“Cut the link, Joker,” he ordered, though his own comm. link.

He didn't want Shepard to suffer any more than she was already, and he knew having to try to fight to get the council to believe her, especially so soon after loosing a team member, was going to cost her greatly

“Nihlus. That isn't your call,” Alenko protested.

That was the finally straw for him. Drawing himself up to tower above the human, Nihlus flared his mandibles, baring his teeth and growled at the lieutenant.

“ _That_ is my partner in there,” he snarled. “If you think for one moment I'm going to let those bastards scoff at her, after everything she has done to stop Saren, you are sorely mistaken. I am sick and tired of ass holes giving her grief, and that goes for you too Alenko. She wasn't saving you on Virmire, she was protecting the bomb. Something she almost died to do, whilst Williams died to save the STG team.”

When Aleno when to protest, Nihlus growled again, poking a talon threateningly at his jugular.

“Take this as a warning, Lieutenant,” he continued, menacingly. “Leave Shepard alone. And once we get to the Citadel, you can rest assured that I'll tell the council what a pile of varren shit they are.”

“You don't need to do that...”

Nihlus whipped round at the sound of Shepard's voice, and just one look at her; the dejected slump of her soldiers and the red ring round her eyes, hand Nihlus striding over to her, and pulling her into one of those hugs she seemed so fond of. He didn't care if the rest of the crew saw. Shepard was his partner and he'd damn well comfort her if she needed it... it always gave him the perfect opportunity to growl possessively when Alenko tried to touch her, but it was mostly about comforting her.

“I do, Shepard,” he told her, quietly. “You're not alone in this. It's about time the council knew that as well.” 


	20. Chapter 20

Shepard was furious. That bastard Udina had sold the out. The council had impounded the ship, and after only being mildly surprised that Nihlus was still alive, had tried to imprison him... oh, they tried to twist it as a psychological evaluation, but everyone had seen through that bullshit. He'd quit there and then, saying he had better job prospects elsewhere. That had almost caused her to smile... almost.

But nothing could calm the rage she felt. She was livid. She didn't even make it further than the Mess Hall before she screamed, slamming a biotically aided fist into her locker. Shepard dropped to her knees, punching her locker one more time as angry tears slipped down her face. She didn't know what to do. She was out of choices, out of plans... out of time. Shepard shuffled until she was sat on the unforgiving metal floor and let her head fall back against her locker with a loud thud.

“Commander... are you alright?”

Fuck! The sound of Alenko's voice had Shepard biting back a vicious growl. She didn't need his bullshit. He didn't question her like Garrus did; wanting to know all the angles, wanting to know how she arrived at the decisions she did. No. Kaidain wanted to badger. Wanted to doubt. Wanted to give her his opinion even if she didn't want it... especially if she didn't want it. He had her up on a pedestal, but at the same time, was looking for ways to tear her down.

And after the day she'd had, Shepard was simply done.

But still, she let him say his piece. Was certainly snappier than usual, but after the crap the council had pulled, could anyone really blame her. To be honest, she tuned out most of the conversation, though did manage to catch him calling her a _tease_. Shepard ground her teeth together, barely resisting spitting at him, when he offered her a hand up. Obviously he'd decided commanding officers couldn't steam and plot on their own Crew Deck. But she took his hand, it would have been rude not to, and Spirits know... a handy phrase she'd learnt for Garrus and Nihlus... she _was_ trying. Though of course that couldn't be the end of it. Alenko pulled her up too hard, she staggered to her feet too fast, and he took advantage of her unbalance to pull her close. His eyes searched her face, evidently finding whatever he wanted to see, because he leant in close enough for his lips to hover of hers.

“Commander, you have a message from Captain Anderson.”

Oh, how Shepard could kiss Joker at that moment. Then the elevator pinged, the rest of the ground team plus Nihlus stepped out, after collecting their personal belongings from their lockers... since there was no telling how long they were going to be grounded. As soon as Wrex rounded the corner into the Mess Hall, Shepard practically ran from Alenko and pounced her best friend. There was no hesitation as she planted a kiss on the scarred side of Wrex's mouth.

“Ha! Gonna miss me, Shepard?” he chuckled.

“Play along,” she whispered to the group.

The moment the words left her mouth, Shepard rounded on Liara. Not wanting to get the young asari's hopes up; it hadn't been that long since she'd gently turned her down, and kissed her quickly on the cheek before turning to Tali. She placed both hands on either side of the quarian's mask, before kissing the faceplate. She hadn't expected the young woman to squeal, but she readily returned the fierce hug Tali gave her. Next came Garrus, and Shepard had to raise on her toes to reach his mandibles, that fluttered quickly, when she pressed her lips against his armoured hide. Last was Nilhus, and Shepard dragged him down to her leave by the cowl, before kissing him directly on his mouth plates. This close, she could hear the rumbled purr he gave, but didn't understand it.

“Turians kiss like this.”

As he spoke, Nihlus pressed his forehead against hers. Shepard almost rolled her eyes... because honestly, she really wasn't that surprised.

“So you been slipping my tongue all this time?” she teased.

“No...” he drawled, seductively. “But I could if you like...”

Shepard knew Nihlus had said that just to rile Alenko up, and she was passed caring. She made a show of swinging her hips as she sauntered around him, before quickly running up the stairs before the lieutenant came after her. Shepard jogged to the cockpit, leaning over the pilot's chair to give an unsuspecting Joker a kiss on his bearded cheek.

“What was that for?” he asked, looking bewildered.

“Saving me,” she grinned. “So what did David want?”

“He wants you to meet him at Flux. Said it was important.”

Shepard glances at her clothes; slightly dusty and rumbled dress blues... not exactly clubbing wear, but not the worst.

“Guess I'm off clubbing. Let everyone but Alenko know where I'm going.”

Joker actually winked at her. “Aye aye, Ma'am.”

 


	21. Chapter 21

When Shepard had sent a crew wide extranet message to get back onboard the Normandy, Garrus had ran to comply. He had no idea what was going down, but he knew it was big. Whether or not she'd convinced the councillors to change their minds, Garrus didn't know. He didn't really care. All he knew was that Shepard gave an ordered, and he was damn well going to follow it.

It seemed like he wasn't the only one who hurried to follow the commander's summons, since even junior members were scurrying onto the ship when he reached the docking bay. However, Garrus only made it as far as the CIC, along with the rest of the ground team... including Alenko, unfortunately.

He couldn't help looking curiously into the cockpit, where both Joker and Shepard were simply staring at a console. Seemingly just... _waiting_. Neither of them spoke, and in the five minutes he watched them, only saw them glance at each other once, and even then their heads barely moved. Until suddenly the both flinched. The pilot sat forward, his fingers flying to the controls as Shepard banged the top of his chair twice, almost as if she was excited.

“Let's go. Get us out of here, Joker. Now!” Shepard commanded.

“You got it, Shep!”

Garrus could smell the nerves, the excitement and also the sheer glee that rolled off the pair of them. When Shepard shouldered passed him, hollering at someone to monitor comm. chatter and another to watch the scanners, all her could do was stare at her slack jawed.

In fact, for several seconds they all starred after her, stunned. Even Nihlus and Wrex seemed surprised at the turn of events. Then all at once, the six of them moved after Shepard, the commotion causing her to glance over her shoulder. She raised one side of her brow, in the peculiar way she often did, before nodding towards the comms. room. Obediently, they all followed.

“Aw, damn it...” Joker whined over the comm. link. “No sign of pursuit? I was hoping the council would send some ships after us. I was looking forward to putting the Normandy through her paces. Figured we'd get to see what this ship can really do.”

Of course, Shepard chuckled. “Saren's still out there. Maybe we'll get a chance to play hide and seek with Sovereign.”

“You know, it doesn't seem like much fun when you say it, commander,” the pilot grumbled.

“So... does anyone else have anything to add?” Shepard asked, innocently.

“Stealing an Alliance ship. Risky stuff,” Wrex rumbled. “But I'm right behind you, Shepard. It's the least I can do.”

The pair grinned at each other, clasping forearms in a gesture Garrus had seen them do back on Virmire. He wasn't sure, but he gotthe impression it had some culture significance to the krogan. Which made Garrus wonder if the two of them were having some silent conversation that no one else understood... it really wouldn't surprise him.

“I appreciate it, Wrex. Everyone else thinks I'm crazy,” she said, deadpan.

Wrex chuckled. “Sometimes crazy is the best way to go. I just hope they don't catch us before we get our hands on Saren.”

“They won't,” Shepard replied, confidently.

“With you... anything is possible,” the krogan complimented.

Unable to help himself, Garrus' sub-harmonics rumbled with approval. Nihlus shot him a knowing look, before adding his own subvocal agreement. It didn't matter if their human couldn't understand, they were still supporting her.

“We're fugitives on the run... very exciting, Shepard,” Tali stated.

“Seems crazy is catching,” Nihlus joked.

Tali slapped his arm. “I just wonder what the council will do to us, if we get caught.”

“They won't,” Shepard repeated. “If they catch us, Saren finds the conduit. What ever that bullshit council has planned, I guarantee the reapers will do worse.”

“You know... that doesn't make me feel any better,” the quarian replied, wringing her hands.

Surprisingly, Wrex slung an arm around her shoulders. “We'll stop Saren, kid.”

“This will all be over soon,” Liara agreed.

“I can't believe we stole the Normandy,” Garrus said, before he could stop himself. “I mean I'm not surprised with everything you told me, and what they did. But still...”

“You worried, Garrus?” she asked, sincerely.

“No. Not really,” he replied, honestly. “If we're wrong, we'll pay for it. But if we're right and we did nothing, I think we'd regret it a whole lot more.”

There were murmurs of agreement from the rest of the team.

“I just hope we catch Saren before they notice we're missing,” Garrus added.

Shepard lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. “We'll catch him. Just be ready when we do.”

“But are we doing the right thing?” Kaidan interrupted. “There are proper...”

Nihlus gave a warning growl before Garrus could do the same.

“Do not question, Shepard,” the Spectre snarled. “She is doing her best to stop Saren. Even Captain Anderson thought this was the best course of action.”

“I hope Udina isn't giving him any trouble,” the commander said, almost to herself.

“Knowing the captain, he'll have punched that smug bastard if he got the chance,” Joker called over the comm. link.

Shepard smiled. “You're probably right, lucky bastard.”

It was Garrus' turn to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I'm sure you'll get to punch the ambassador soon.”

Making her honestly laugh at that moment was the greatest thing he'd ever achieved.


	22. Chapter 22

The moment he saw Kaidan waltz into Shepard's cabin, Nihlus immediately followed. They were hurtling towards Ilos, and this was the commander's last night of peace before they confronted his old mentor. She needed to rest, not to be hounded by a grown male acting like a varren in heat. Shepard was his partner, and he damn well wouldn't let that bastard Alenko add to her stress.

He walked into her space unannounced, confident in his welcome. Shepard didn't disappoint, flashing him an almost relieved smile, even as she turned the lieutenant down point blank... finally.

But of course Alenko didn't get the message and continued trying to wheedle, trying to get under her skin, trying to guilt her into sleeping with him.

Nihlus growled, stalking over to the pair. He didn't really think when he wrapped his arm around Shepard's slender waist, his talons exploring underneath the baggy N7 hoody she liked to wear whilst off duty. He didn't think when his sub-harmonics thrummed with desire, as he ran his long tongue up the column of her throat. He didn't when he pressed his forehead to hers in his people's version of a kiss, before cheekily flicking her lips with his tongue as a nod to her races.

“You're... you're... Shepard how could you?!” Alenko spluttered. “We have something special.”

“I told you before, lieutenant,” Nihlus growled. “She is _my_ partner, and I'm not going to have hounding her before a pivotal mission.”

To his slight surprise, Shepard began to run her nimble fingers along his carapace, tracing the rim of his cowl before trailing down his chest. Oh, he was thankful he'd changed out of his armour, so he could feel her teasing touch as her fingers found his waist, squeezing gently and dragging an unexpected groan from him. It had been far too long since he'd a partner of a different sense, and Nihlus almost forgot Alenko was in the room when he playfully nipped Shepard's neck with his mouth plates.

“We do have importing things to discuss before we get to Ilos,” she purred, seductively.

“And don't forget it's a partner's duty to ensure the other is well taken care of,” he drawled, flirtatiously.

Shepard hummed in agreement, pushing her body flush with his. “You do have a point.”

Nihlus cast a baleful glare at Alenko, who hadn't enough common sense to leave the room, even though they were obviously making out. How this human had made lieutenant was beyond him. How he wasn't getting the message that Shepard wasn't interested, even when another male was lavishing her with attention... Nihlus just couldn't comprehend the male's delusions.

Evidently, it called for drastic measures; and he'd naturally let Shepard beat the crap out of him later if he took things too far or made her uncomfortable.

So after giving Alenko another warning growl, Nihlus turned his attention back to his partner, and slowly unzipped her hoody. He pushed the soft baggy material from her shoulders, revealing a tank top underneath that perfectly showcased her shoulders, toned arms, and delicious looking collar bones. Shepard was a very attractive female. Even the swell of her alien breasts were appealing, and Nihlus knew humans were similar enough to asari to know they were important in sexual encounters. So he put his tongue to work again, briefly dipping into the small amount of cleavage her top revealed, before tracing a line up to her collar bone and along until he could playfully mouth at her shoulder.

Shepard actually sighed almost dreamily at his actions, and his plates began to shift. If Alenko didn't get the message soon, Nihlus was worried his body would forget it was all just an act to get the bastard off her back once and for all.

“You're dismissed, lieutenant,” Shepard stated. “Me and Nihlus have some... work to do.”

She didn't even bother glancing at the male, instead she seemed determind to make Nihlus lose himself. Since she blatantly ran her clever tongue along the outline of his jaw and mandible, before seductively sucking the tip into her hot mouth. Nihlus groaned in appreciation, and without thinking, hoisted Shepard up so she had to wrap her toned legs around his torso. She flexed her muscles, gently squeezing his sensitive waist, and Nihlus couldn't help wondering what if would feel like to have her naked skin against his hide.

“Alenko! Fuck off!” he snarled.

 _Finally_ the man got with the programme, practically fleeing the room but not before Nihlus pressed Shepard against the wall. As the doors slid shut again, he took a moment to rest his forehead against her, his eyes closed as he tried to collect himself. His plates had fully shifted, and if he wasn't careful Nihlus knew he was going to make Shepard uncomfortable by fully unsheathing... not to mention how awkward it would be to walk back to his bunk obviously aroused on a ship full on humans.

“I just... need a moment... before I go take care of... things,” he panted, willing his heart to stop racing.

“Are you alright, Nih?” she asked, genuinely concerned. “Maybe you should put me down.”

“Yeah, you're right,” he agreed.

A little reluctantly, Nihlus let Shepard slip down, not trusting his shaking arms to lower her safely. Unfortunately, to move had her brushing against his groin, a move his body fully approved off. Shepard gasped, her vivid green eyes locking onto his when she discovered just how much their little act had affected him. He was about to apologise, before the scent of her arousal suddenly hit him. Nihlus let out a sound that was part frustrated growl and part appreciative groan.

“This would be so much easier if you were turian,” he tried to joke.

“Things different on your vessels?” she asked, neutrally.

Nihlus couldn't help thinking it was unfair how steady and even her voice was, when his sub-harmonics were going haywire with want and need and embarrassment and apology. He understood her arousal was more situational reaction than any desire on her part, and he felt terrible for subjecting her to the same thing Alenko had just tried... Shepard deserved so much more than that.

“It's common place for soldiers to help each other blow off steam before high stress missions. Sex isn't seen the same in my culture as it is in yours. No one thinks anything of two consenting adults easing tension with sex... though hand to hand sparring is also popular,” he added, trying to lighten the mood.

“What about friends?” she asked, unexpectedly.

“Depends on the individuals involved,” Nihlus explained, cautiously. “But sex isn't some taboo subject for turians. It's not uncommon for friendships to include physical aspects for stress relief, as long as neither part is in a romantic relationship with anyone else. We are not a particularly affection race, so if we are with someone emotionally, it's more of a big deal.”

“Well, I'm game if you are.”

Nihlus flared his mandibles at her in shock. “Shepard... I didn't start this to try get you onto bed!”

“I know, Casanova,” she chuckled. “For all your flirting, I know you aren't like that. I trust you, Nih. You're one of my best friends.” She paused to offer him a warm smile. “Besides, I could use some stress relief after the council and Lieutenant Oblivious, and I get the feeling your tense about confronting Saren.”

Their bodies had remained pressed together as they talked, and his growing arousal twitched, making his body's opinion on the matter very clear.

“Not to mention you obviously have something that is in urgent need of attention,” Shepard chuckled.

“Are you sure? I don't want you to feel obliged.”

Her answer came in the form of her squeezing his waist in a way that threatened to make his knees buckle. He gave a purring laugh, nuzzling into the junction where her neck met her shoulder.

“If you feel uncomfortable or I'm too alien for you once the clothes come off, tell me. There'll be no hard feelings,” he told her.

“You think your my first turian?” she grinned, pushing him back towards her bed.

“I should know better than to doubt Commander Shepard's adventurous spirit,” he conceded.

“You been with many humans before?” Shepard asked.

She straddled his lap as soon as he was seated, her nimble fingers immediately finding the hidden fastening of his tunic, providing credence to her words. Not that Nihlus doubted her, or was even surprised. Really, he should have guessed the moment she started kneading his waist or licking his mandible. The fact that as soon as she'd removed his top her clever hands started to massage the bundle of nerves beneath his fringe was another sign she hadn't been bluffing.

“I've been with many asari, but you're my first human,” he told her truthfully.

Shepard grinned at him, mischievously. “Then I'll aim to ruin you for life!”

 


	23. (NSFW)

Nilhus moved faster than Shepard expected, and before she knew it, she found herself laid back on her bed naked. Her clothes had been thrown to the floor, and she had a sneaking suspicion that he'd ripped her tank top in the process... not that she exactly minded. Nihlus flared his mandibles in the way Shepard had come to think of as smug, and she smirked up at him in return.

“Show me.”

His voice was husky as he spoke, his green gaze raking over her hungrily. Unabashed, Shepard let her legs fall open, treating him to an uninterrupted view of her body. She wasn't shy or ashamed of her sexuality, and chuckled as he avidly watched her hand slide down her body, until her fingers reached her most sensitive bundle of nerves. Shepard worked herself with an expect touch, but moaned as she watched Nihlus curl his long blue tongue around one of his talons, before he slowly slide it inside her.

Shepard arched slightly, helping him hit the spot deep inside her. Understanding immediately, Nihlus gripped her thigh with his free hand, supporting her whilst he continued his ministrations. He watched her avidly for a moment, and she couldn't help smirking at him in a silent challenge. Of course, he understood. His mandibles flared in that cocky grin again, before he dipped his head.

She gasped as his tongue quickly flicked over her bundle of nerves, before his mandibles gently nudged her fingers out the way. Moaning appreciatively, Shepard caressed the part of his fringe that she could reach, as he began to lick in earnest... for someone who'd never been with a human before, Nihlus certainly seemed confident with his tongue.

“Fast learner...” she teased.

His rich chuckle reverberated through his tongue, making her arch further off the bed. The hand on her thigh moved to support her back, as he redoubled his efforts. He crooked the talon inside her just so, making her gasp out his name. Her thighs trembled, and when he curled his tongue around her bundle of nerves, Shepard came undo.

“Wish I could taste you,” he drawled, seductively. “You smell amazing.”

“Sweet talker...” she quipped. “Now, you do realise you're completely over dressed, right?"

Chuckling, Nihlus took the hint, quickly removing his boots and trousers, before sitting back down. He reached a hand out to her, which Shepard took, using it to steady herself as she moved to plant her knees either side of his muscular thighs. She almost laughed when he casually held up a specialist prophylactic for her inspection.

“So were you planning to seduce me all along?” she teased.

“Shepard... with my good looks, females are always throwing themselves at me, I need to be prepared,” he retorted. “I'm surprised you held out so long.”

“Oh, it was a daily struggle. I assure you,” she replied, deadpan.

As they bantered, Shepard stroked the length of him languidly. Just enough to tantalise but not enough to satisfy. Her teasing earned her a playful growl, as Nilhus shooed her hand away to roll on the prophylactic. Whilst he did, Shepard turned her attention back to the nerves beneath his fringe, gently kneading and massage until she felt his rumbling purr. When his hands found her waist again, she slowly sank down onto him, gasping when he was hilted. Nihlus let out a groan, the purring vibrations intensifying as he lathe his tongue up her throat.

Shepard began to move then, pulling guttural sounds from him that her translator couldn't catch. She set an unhurried pace... Nihlus wasn't some one night stand picked up on shore leave. He was a friend, someone she cared about deeply, who had been through hell and deserved to feel good. She wanted to relieve some of that tension and stress he was carrying, she wanted to give him the ride of his life.

However, it also seemed that Nihlus had the same idea. He slipped a hand between them, before one of his clever talons found her most sensitive bundle of nerves. The pace he set was relentless, and Shepard couldn't help following it. Her movements became faster, the grip she had on his shoulders tighter. Nihlus pressed his forehead to hers, their eyes locking, as he thrust up into her almost erratically.

She sank down on to him at the exact moment he bucked up forcefully, hitting just the right spot. Shepard dropped her head to his cowl, pressing her lips hard against his carapace to muffle her wanton moan as she convulsed around him. Nihlus pulled her tight against his chest, his mouth plates pressed to her dishevelled hair as he found his own release.

For several moments, the only sound was their heaving breaths as they clung together in the aftermath, though slowly they moved their heads to look at each other. Shepard could see clear amusement in Nihlus' startling green eyes, whilst she desperately tried to hold in a laugh. Not that she had any success, as they both began to chuckle at the same time. He pulled her into a warm hug, nuzzling her hair as he spoke:

“Mission accomplished. I'm ruined for life.”

“You might have converted me if you'd been my first turian,” she laughed.

“Well, there's always next time,” Nihlus drawled.

“Hold on, Casanova. Who said there'd be a next time,” she said, feigning indignity.

His talons slowly traced down her spine, making her shiver.

“I'm not hearing any complaints,” he teased.

“Pfft... you'll have to try harder than that to impress me,” Shepard smirked.

“We _do_ have time left before we hit Ilos... fancy a second round?”

She smiled at him affectionately. “You're incorrigible!”


	24. Chapter 24

Garrus' mandibles flicked as Shepard ran passed him into the cockpit. They'd all been given the five minute ETA, and the ground team had unanimously decided to await orders in the CIC. Like the others, Garrus followed the commander to the helm, though as the others all began to argue about the approach, Garrus' attention as still honed on the commander. There was a looseness to her shoulders he hadn't seen before and she smelt different too. Though he couldn't put a talon on what was different until Nihlus joined them. It wasn't hard to smell the scent of sex on another turian after all.

He let his sub-harmonics ring with curiosity, which caused Nihlus to smirk at him, before purring his confirmation. Garrus nodded his approval. It was usual for crew mates to blow off steam together on turian vessels, and a commander would have normally have other officers to turn to. But Shepard didn't have anyone like that, especially considering the terrible rules the Alliance subjected it's soldiers to. So he was glad that Nihlus had stepped up to help Shepard, if anyone deserved some stress relief it was the commander.

Though he supposed it wouldn't matter if they couldn't get to Saren in time, and he tuned back into the argument just in time to hear Alenko yell:

“It's not an option, it's a suicide run. We don't...”

“I can do it.”

The pilot's voice was so calm it cut off the lieutenant's rant, and Garrus took a step further into the cockpit. He immediately caught the scent of confidence and he knew that he truly believed that... it didn't make him right, but Garrus respected his conviction.

“Joker?” Shepard asked, equally as calmly.

“I can do it.”

The pilot glanced up at the commander, and for a weighted moment they simply looked at each other. There were times Garrus had seen Shepard do the same with Wrex, and he always wondered if they were having some sort of conversation no one else could understand. Watching Shepard and her pilot gave Garrus the same feeling. Especially when she nodded and lay a hand on Joker's shoulder.

“I know,” she stated, before turning to the rest of them. “Garrus, Wrex, gear up and get to the Mako. Joker, drop us right on top of that bastard. Everyone else, stand by.”

Garrus wasn't as convinced as Shepard was with the situation, but if the commander believed in the pilot's abilities, he did too. Though as he went to comply with her order, Garrus chanced glancing behind him, hoping to give Shepard some sign he had ever back... especially since Alenko had starting ranting again. But what he saw gave him pause.

Nihlus had taken Shepard to the side, which wasn't that unusual, but what stood out was the turian giving the commander his Assault Rifle... and Garrus knew it wasn't just the same make and model, because he himself had been admiring the Spectre Issue HMWA-X for weeks. It was Nihlus' own weapon, and Garrus couldn't help quietly keen in understanding. The Spectre couldn't be with his partner for the mission, so giving Shepard his gun was the next best thing.

 


	25. Chapter 25

Shepard knew her team mates probably thought she was crazy, but after speaking to Vigil on Ilos and learning about the reaper's indoctrination, how could she not feel some sympathy towards Saren? Oh, she still hated him for Eden Prime, for Nihlus, for Ashley and for Wrex... hell, for everyone who'd lost their lives when he attacked the Citadel. But she also felt a little sorry for him. He was being controlled, just like Benezia. Saren wasn't the reaper's ally, he was their puppet.

“Sovereign hasn't won yet,” she yelled to him. “I can stop it from taking control of the station! Step aside and the invasion will never happen. Some part of you must still realise this is wrong. You can fight this!”

Saren began to mutter to himself, and for a moment Shepard hoped she'd gotten through to him, that somehow there was enough of the turian he was before to fight the reaper's control. But then he shouted in pain. With the gun that Nihlus had given her raised, she rolled out of the cover she'd taken, fully prepared to help him if he needed assistance. Shepard wasn't even exactly sure why she was trying so hard to get through to Saren... perhaps it was for Nihlus to get a chance at closure, she didn't know. It didn't really matter. However, she didn't anticipate to find the ex-Spectre looking at her calmly.

“The implants... Sovereign is too strong. I'm sorry. It's too late for me,” he told her.

“It's not over yet,” she argued. “You can still redeem yourself!”

Saren shook his head, before flicking his mandibles in a small smile. “Goodbye, Shepard. Thank you.”

She watched in shock as he raised his pistol, pressed the muzzle to the underside of his jaw and pulled the trigger. Despite all the things she'd done in her career, Shepard never thought she'd essentially talk someone into suicide. She actually felt a little sick as she ran to the end of the platform, and watched his lifeless body fall through the glass before landing motionless in the park below. But Shepard knew there was no time to be emotional, as she set about uploading Vigil's programme.

The moment Shepard had full control of the systems again, she immediately set about re-opening the Citadel's arms and establishing a comm. link to the Normandy... also punching in the command to re-link her suit came to the ship's archive, hoping what they'd experienced on Ilos had survived the Mako's crash landing on the Presidium. The first thing that filtered through the static was a mayday from the council's flag ship. A moment later, Joker's welcome voice came through the comm. and Shepard's shoulders sagged in relief.

“Captain Anderson got through to Admiral Hackett,” he advised. “I'm sitting here in the Enduro system with the entire Arcturus fleet. We can save the Ascension. Just unlock the relays around the Citadel, and we'll send in the cavalry.”

“You'd sacrifice human lives to save the council?” Wrex asked, surprised. “What have they ever done for your kind?”

“This is bigger than humanity,” Garrus argued. “Sovereign's a threat to every organic species in the galaxy.”

“That's why you can't throw away reinforcements trying to save the council,” Wrex countered. “Hold them back until the Citadel's arms open up and the human fleet can go after Sovereign.”

“I agree with Wrex,” Nihlus' voice unexpectedly stated over the comm. “We need to stop the reapers at all costs.”

“What's the order, commander? Save the Ascension or hold back?” Joker asked. “Even the Admiral is deferring to your judgement on this one.”

Shepard took a shuddering breath... feeling the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders at that moment. She hated the council, but that wasn't reason enough to let them die. However, their lack of action and their refusal the listen to her warnings about the reapers was. They'd proven they couldn't be trusted to act in the galaxy's best interests, leaving Shepard in the position she was in.

“We need all our ships focusing on Sovereign, even if that means sacrificing the council,” she said, solemnly.

Garrus' mandibles twitched. “I hope you know what you're doing, commander.”

“If I could trust Shepard on Virmire, you can trust her now,” Wrex rumbled, angrily.

Shepard gave a weary sigh. “Come on. We need to confirm Saren's dead, then check there aren't any geth left lurking around.”

 


	26. Chapter 26

The tremble in Nihlus' hands had less to do with his lasting injuries and much more to do with his missing partner. Since Shepard had re-established communications with the Normandy, he'd been monitoring the link from her suit camera. He'd seen the horrifying fight with the abomination that Saren had become, and then the heart stopping moment a piece of Sovereign debris crashed through the quartz glass windows of the Citadel Tower. He'd watched as Shepard used a biotic Throw to push Wrex and Vakarian out of the impact zone, but then her suit camera had flickered to black.

Nihlus had been beside himself, and the moment the Normandy managed to dock at the reopened Citadel, he'd fought his way to the Presidium with Liara and Tali at his side, meeting up with Anderson and a number C-Sec officers along the way. They'd dispatched a number of geth patrols before reaching the council chamber, and the scene of devastation was terrifying.

Regardless of his lingering weakness, Nihlus set about digging through the reckaged with the others, his hope dwindling by the second as the minutes turned into hours of digging, until a human referred to as Lang shouted for help. With the aid of Liara's biotics, they moved twisted metal and crumbling concrete until they finally broke through the wall of debris.

He couldn't help the chirp of worry that escaped him at the sight of Wrex and Vakarian covered in dust and splattered in blood. They both sat hunched in on themselves, their heads bent. His fellow turian was sporting a very clearly broken leg, whilst the krogan's arm seemed to be trapped under a lump of debris. But Nihlus only realised that later, his entire focus was honed in on Wrex's face... actual tears were rolling down the Battlemaster's cheeks, and Nihlus knew it had nothing to do with his injury.

A gentle hand ushering him out of the way broke his stupor, and he watched as Captain Anderson crawl through the gap they're created in the debris. A C-Sec offer he'd heard called Bailey followed with a bag containing water, medi-gel and pain relief.

“Take it easy...it's over. You're safe now,” Anderson soothed, before looking around. “Where's Shepard?”

Vakarian keened then, and Nihlus' heart sunk. Wrex's gaze locked first on the captain then him, before he turned his head to face the piece of wreckage that had impaled the council chamber. Nihlus keened, heartbroken. Beside him, Anderson staggered back to his feet, tears welling in his eyes. Liara and Tali turned to each other, embracing tightly.

Shepard... couldn't be gone. She was too good, too tough, too resilient. She wouldn't have been taken out by a piece of falling debris, especially after everything else she'd lived through.

Nihlus legs felt weak as he looked at the wreckage, but then his keen hearing picked up something other than the crackle and spark of electrical fires. It sounded like pebbles rolling over grit, and whilst Anderson and the C-Sec offers roused themselves to help Wrex and Vakarian to their feet, he took a cautious step forward. He sure he could see a faint blue glow coming from behind the piece of Sovereign.

“Liara...?” he called, cautiously.

The asari was at his side almost immediately, and evidently had the same hopeful thought he did, since without instruction, she used her biotics to Lift small sections of debris from around the blue glow. As she worked, the shimmering light became bright, before all of a sudden it seemed to burst. Dust and debris filled the air, and pressure seconds ticked by before he heard more scrabbling. Trying to dampen down the hope that wanted to bubble in his chest, Nihlus carefully picked his way forward, stepping over twisted metal and smouldering wood.

But the moment he saw a pale, blood stained human hand reach out of the debris, all caution was throw away.

Nihlis rushed forward, crashing to his knees and reaching out for the unseen human. Liara redoubled her effort with the debris keeping the person trapped, whilst Tali and Anderson rushed forward to help him. There was on doubt in his mind who this was, and it seemed the others felt the same. Wrex lumbered over, ducking to shoulder a load of rubble with his good arm and even Garrus limped over with the aid of Lang.

The absolute relief that rang in his sub-harmonics was unmistakable when Shepard's unruly red hair and dirt stained face finally came to view. She offered him that damn smirk of hers, before grabbing his offered hand with her bloody one. The commander grunted in pain as he helped her out of the hole she'd been trapped in, noticing immediately the odd angle her left arm was in... the bones were probably shattered, never mind broken.

But Spirits! She was alive.

He pressed his forehead to hers quickly, before Wrex shouldered him out the way to gently headbutt her. However, the krogan quickly stepped aside to let Vakarian repeat the action Nihlus had done. Anderson was next, cradling her bruised face carefully in his dark hands.

“Gave us quite the scare, child,” he smiled.

“You know us Shepard's like big gestures, Uncle David,” Shepard chuckled, before wincing.

Anderson shook his head. “Joking can wait for later, better get you to Huerta.”

Nihlus took that as his cue, and instead of letting C-Sec help Shepard out off the tower like they were the others, he carefully scooped his partner up with one arm under her knees and the other supporting her back. She actually _squeaked_ in surprise, causing everyone else to laugh. Shepard glared at him, though Nihlus merely nuzzled her temple in reply.

“You know I _can_ walk,” she grumbled.

"But what if you have a concussion?” he teased.

Shepard sighed, rolling her eyes. “If you drop me Kryik...”

He couldn't help chuckling, he really expected her to put up more of a fight than she was... and it was too good an opportunity to miss, especially when he carried her passed that Spirit's damned Al-Jilani woman. So he gave Shepard his best shit eating grin, right in front of the camera.

“Like I'd drop the Saviour of the Citadel.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where I'm leaving Mass Effect 1. I've just re-installed ME2 & all it's DLCs so hoping to start phase two of this story shortly. However, just a little heads up, we have friends visiting this week, so my updating won't be as prolific as it has been previously.


	27. (ME2)

Having the Normandy as a fully human vessel once again felt... wrong to Shepard. The diversity of her team in the fight against Saren was what had made them so successful, but a month after they thwarted Sovereign's attack, she'd been shipped out to hunt geth instead of preparing for the reapers.

To say she was pissed was an understatement, but so was David. He'd taken charge of the reformed council but had been met with resistance every step of the way. He warned them about the reapers and the need to prepare, they didn't want to cause a panic and insisted on saying it was geth. He wanted to make seats for all the races, just as Shepard hoped, but the other three voted against him. It was always a three against one, despite David being the acting chair. He was at his wits end, which was the only reason Shepard had agreed to go on these stupid hunts.

From what she heard, Hackett wasn't faring much better trying to convince the Alliance brass. The feed from her suit camera had been too corrupted to accurately depict what they'd seen on Ilos, and insisted the monstrous mechanical abominations Saren's lifeless body turn into was geth technology.

Their ignorance and desire to stick their heads in the sand would be laughable, if it didn't bloody terrify Shepard.

Her team were faring better though. Tali had safely returned to the fleet from her pilgrimage, and actually had ship's captains vying for _her_ attention, rather than needing to persuade one to let her join their crew. Liara had gone back to Thessia, not only pay her respects at Benezia's grave, but also share knowledge with other prothean experts... in the hopes they could uncover some advantages over the reapers. Wrex had gone back to Tuchanka, armed with a copy the data they'd managed to collect on Virmire, and had already started talks with some of the minor clan leaders. Which left Nihlus and Garrus. The two turians had returned to the Citadel, the former as a fully reinstated Spectre, the latter to start his special training... apparently being endorsed by _two_ Spectres earned him a fast track through the vetting stages.

Though somehow Shepard had found herself still stuck with Alenko... who still thought there was 'something' between them.

She was actually sending a group extranet message to Wrex, Nihlus and Garrus when the alarms suddenly went off ship wide. Shepard immediately raced to gear up, managing to type a 'Under Attack' to the guys since the chat was already up, before rushing to launch the distress beacon. Of course, Alenko managed to find her even amidst the chaos of abandoning ship, and had to question her decisions as always. He even went so far as trying to get her to leave Joker, after she'd ordered him to the evac. shuttles... if Shepard hadn't been so intent on getting to her pilot, she'd have punch the lieutenant in his stupid square jaw.

As it was, she just shouldered passed him, not bothering to check if he was following her orders as she dodged a raging fire, dodged some sparking electrics and raced towards the CIC. She'd abandon the Normandy, but there was not chance she was letting Joker go down with the ship. It was a waste of a good pilot, and besides, she was far too fond of the sarcastic bastard to let anything happen to him.

 


	28. Chapter 28

Garrus' knees had nearly buckled when he'd read Shepard's 'Under Attack' message, but somehow managed to race to Anderson's office, not at all surprised that Nihlus was already there. His fellow turian's sub-harmonics rang loudly with worry and anger, and despite his own fear, Garrus tried to soothe his mentor by calming his own sub-harmonics. Anderson seemed to pale at the news, and immediately contacted Hackett to send out reinforcements. Though apparently Shepard had already launched a distress call and he was personally commanding the Fifth Fleet's flag ship to aid the commander.

He was almost in a daze as he stumbled home, barely acknowledging Nihlus was still at his side as they entered his cramped apartment. The Spectre switched the Alliance News Network, whilst he went and grabbed to bottle of Palaven brandy he had stashed under the sink. It was supposed to be for special occasions, but Garrus had a feeling he'd need the strong stuff to get through waiting for Shepard to come home battered and bruised... home being the spare room of Nihlus' apartment it seemed.

As the minutes dragged in to hours and turned into a full night cycle, the half fully bottle of brandy turned into discarded recycling, and was joined by a crate's worth of cheap dextro beers, before their omni-tools bleeped in unison. Garrus clumsily opened up the message... exhaustion rather than alcohol making his movements uncoordinated... fully prepared to give Shepard a piece of his mind for worrying them, or beg her to come home; he hadn't decided. But then the small apartment was filled with Nihlus' unrepentant keen, which was quickly joined by his own heartbroken one.

It wasn't Shepard's message, but one from Anderson:

**I'm sorry. She didn't make it.**

… that was a fortnight ago, and after two weeks of fruitless searching, Anderson and the Alliance saw fit to hold a memorial for Shepard without her body. Every surviving member of the Normandy's crew attended, even ones like Joker, who had to get special dispensation from hospital to come.

The pilot was a wreck, and not just in the physical sense; which included two leg braces, an arm cast and a supportive vest for a tiny crack in part of his spine. The male looked haunted, his skin sallow and face gaunt. It was obvious he'd lost weight even in such a short amount of time, it was also evident something had happened between him and Kaidan. Garrus had overheard the start of a rant by the lieutenant accusing Joker of killing Shepard, before a striking looking human female with a greying red fringe, bodily through him out.

Garrus didn't learn until later that the female was Shepard's mother; which should have been obvious from the way she silently commanded respect. However, he was too busy consoling a distraught Joker. Tali, Liara and Doctor Chakwas were all trying to soothe him, but he didn't stop his tear filled apology until Garrus pressed his forehead to the pilot's. He wasn't well informed about social norms for humans during remembrance services, but that was what he'd have done for a friend at a turian memorial, as well as the soothing purr he forced through the grief in his sub-harmonics. Nihlus joined them soon after, and carefully pulled Joker into a human hug, which seemed to make the male cry more, but Garrus knew his fellow turian had more experience with humans than he did.

After that, the only person he saw for a long time was Nihlus. Since the council didn't even wait a day after Shepard's memorial to start sweeping the reaper threat under the rug, whilst Anderson was conveniently on leave for family bereavement... considering her was the commander's godfather; whatever the Spirits that meant. Nihlus tried to explain it was like a back-up parent, which Garrus didn't really understand, passed the fact the councillor had practically lost a daughter.

For Garrus, it felt like he'd lost a limb. He'd been so excited to finish his basic Spectre training under Nihlus in order to transfer back onto the Normandy, for Shepard to be his mentor on the field. There had only been six more weeks left when that fateful day had happened. But he'd given up when the council turned it's back on Shepard. He'd lost all faith in them. He'd lost all faith in the system entirely.

So one morning, he'd quietly packed a bag with the essentials, pulled on his armour, before creeping passed a sleeping Nihlus; who had taken to crashing on his couch, as his own apartment was too quiet without Shepard around.

Garrus made it all the way to the docks, before he felt a hand grab his shoulder. He whirled around, expecting a fight or worse... a surprise interview. Instead he found Nihlus looking at him sadly. He braced himself for the reprimand that was surely coming, and was stunned when the Spectre simply pressed their foreheads together, his sub-harmonics ringing with understanding. Garrus swallowed passed the lump in his throat, and keened softly when Nihlus placed a custom scope into his unresisting hand.

He knew if turians could cry, he'd be doing so. He understood the gesture. The Spectre had already given his trusted gun to Shepard to keep her safe on Ilos... the sniper scope was to help protect him, since Nihlus couldn't come with him. Not trusting himself to speak, Garrus nodded his thanks, before boarding the frigate bound for Omega.

 


	29. Chapter 29

Two years. Two damn years. And it felt like it had all been building to this one moment. The nightmares, the surgeries, the counselling, the drinking, the rehab, the defecting, the enhancements, the extra surgeries, the physical therapy, the sleepless nights, the nerves that made him physically sick... it all led to this panic inducing moment.

Because really, what exactly do you say to a person you got killed? Who's death affected you so much you end up losing your job over... sorry, being given an honourable discharge due to server PTSD? Who you defected to the enemy for, because of the slither of a chance they could bring that person back?

Whatever it should have been, probably wasn't what came out of his mouth... not that Jeff was entirely sure what he said. He was too in awe of seeing a living, breathing Commander Shepard two years after he watched her get spaced, to really pay attention to the drivel that came out of his mouth. Still, Jeff knew that it wouldn't be nearly good enough, and definitely wasn't falling at her feet begging for forgiveness like he should have done.

However, when Shepard whipped around at the sound of his voice, he must have said something right. Never in a million years did he think the commander would smile at him like that, looking at him like he'd hung the bloody moon and stars in the sky. He was probably grinning at her just as dopey though, and didn't care if she saw. Shepard had gotten under his skin the first day she took command of the Normandy, not knowing a thing about his Vrolik's Syndrome, and then only being concerned with whether or not she could do anything to make his work day easier. Eventually he'd joked that a back massaging pad for the pilot's chair would be good... and she'd gone out and bought him one.

Shepard was something else. She might be sport facial scars that could rival Wrex, but if any woman could pull it off and make it look attractive, it was the commander. Jeff knew he'd have crawled through a lot more hoops just to have this moment. And then she finally noticed his lack of crutches and actually, honest to god _squealed_. This bad ass marine who had been through hell, was so excited to see him walk unaided that she bloody squealed... like it was so much more impressive than herself being brought to life.

So he proudly escorted her out of the comm. room, not caring one bit how that bitch Miranda and even Jacob stared, as the walking cripple sauntered around a Cerberus base with _the_ Commander Shepard on his arm. For the first time in two years the smile on his face was real, genuine. He'd honestly expected Shepard to beat the crap out of him, after all, he'd cost the commander her life. He'll he'd have probably lay down and let her beat him. But instead she was happy to see him... ecstatic might not be too far a stretch, to be honest.

It made Jeff feel more confident than he could really ever remember being, and for the first time in two years, he was almost proud to be himself. Riding that unexpected high, he even dared sling an arm around Shepard's shoulders when he showed her their new baby. She bloody grinned at him, and her own arm actually slid around his waist to give him a careful squeeze.

Jeff was beside himself.

Shepard was alive.

And she didn't hate him.

 


	30. Chapter 30

Being alive after remembering being spaced was... disconcerting. To put it mildly. Discovering two years had passed was unsettling. Looking in the mirror as seeing _glowing_ scars and a faint red halo around her green eyes was down right disturbing; though she didn't mind cropped red hair when it used to reach her jaw.

Omega was... interesting. Actually, the place kind of fit her mood. She'd felt angry ever since waking up in an enemy base that was under attack. She wanted to punch that bitchy bubble butt at least once every five minutes... so she actually wanted to hug the scarred Massani when he was mission ready almost the moment they met. Though Shepard wasn't exactly sure if it said more about her or Miranda, that she was willing to trust a mercenary she'd just met, over the woman who'd apparently brought her back to life. She was still stuck with Jacob, but at least he'd been up front about working for Cerberus, even if he was an insensitive bastard when they'd first met.

Almost on principle, Shepard ignored the 'suggestion' to recruit the salarian scientist and decided to go after Archangel instead. Really, she'd only asked Joker... pretty much the only silver lining since waking up in the lab... to set a course for Omega because she wanted to pick up some gear that Cerberus hadn't given her. How they got their hands on a replica N7 suit of armour was beyond her, but it felt wrong to wear it in more ways than one. So Shepard kitted herself out in new gear, the blue lights on the Kestrel Armour made her think of Garrus, and feeling nostalgic, she custom painted the black pieces with cobalt blue accents. For similar reasons, Shepard bought herself a Kuwashii Visor because it reminded her so much of Vakarian's.

Unfortunately, she couldn't find a weapon she liked... wholly unimpressed with the 'improvements' that had been made to firearms in the past two years. Shepard missed her beloved HMWSG shotgun and the HMWA assault rifle that Nihlus had given her before Ilos. In her opinion, the mass accelerator technology was far better than these weapons that needed reloading.

But that wasn't all. Shepard couldn't seem to call on any of her biotic powers from before. The dossier she'd found about her reconstruction stated she was still a Vanguard, but nothing felt the same. Perhaps it was the updated L5n implant she had, Shepard wasn't sure. All she knew was she couldn't rely on any of her old Shock Trooper abilities, and had to quickly adapt to the new ones... she didn't mind too much about that. Charge was exhilarating in a way Shepard couldn't describe, it helped remind her she was actually alive in some twisted way, and Reave was something else entirely... not to mention a little disturbing, but it had kept her alive during several fights now, so she couldn't really complain.

All in all, Shepard was... adjusting to life again. Trying to move forward, figuring out her place in a galaxy that had gone on without her, whilst attempting not to dwell on the past. So far, nothing but knowing Joker and Chakwas were still with her had helped ease Shepard's racing mind. Though she hoped getting some non-human team members might make her feel less anxious about being on an enemy vessel. If they were alien, they couldn't be pro-Cerberus, which meant she might actually have someone on the ground team she could trust at the back.

Shepard just hope that the turian they were going to find would end up being someone she could rely on.

 


	31. Chapter 31

Garrus hands trembled as he sighted down his rifle... too many energy drinks, high sugar MREs and even barely legal stimulants had kept him sustained, kept him a awake, kept him alive. He knew he wasn't making it out of it though, but he owed it to his team to take out as many of the bastards as he could. So he'd called his father during a lull in the fighting, essentially making peace and saying goodbye. He'd messaged Nihlus a final time, apologising that he wouldn't make their meeting at Elysium's Shepard Memorial on the anniversary of her death. Then he'd re-fortified his team's hide out, covered their bodies as respectfully as he could, and bunkered down on the first floor, taking out _every_ mercenary that was stupid enough to attempting crossing the bridge.

Until he saw a shock of red fringe... hair... in his scope. His heart began to pound wildly, and Garrus shook his head. There was just no way... it had to be the sleep deprivation catching up on him. He was seeing things.

Sighting down his sniper rifle once again, Garrus checked for that red hair again, and a soft keen escaped him when he found it... found her. He couldn't believe it. It had been two years. She was dead. It must have been someone who just looked similar to her, because it _couldn't_ be her. Shepard was dead.

Even if Garrus recognised how the human female took point for her two teammates; a scared older male and another one with dark skin, as they actually started taking out the mercs in front of them, instead of trying shoot him. And despite wielding a shotgun with deadly accuracy, the abilities were wrong. Shepard had never hurtled herself across a battlefield to smash into an enemy, and she certainly hadn't drained the actual life out of an opponent.

But on the ridiculously small chance the Spirits had answered his old prayers and _somehow_ brought Shepard back from the dead, Garrus didn't want to risk killing her... but then again, if reality still worked the way in unfortunately always had, he wanted to get rid of the apparition. So he loaded a concussive round into his M-92 Mantis, and took aim at the phantom's chest. The ghost staggered for a moment, and through the scope, Garrus watched as startling green eyes narrowed as she glared up at him, before raising one side of her brow.

Garrus nearly swallowed his tongue at that look, and his surprised trill was almost echoed around the cavernous building. His sub-harmonics began to rumble with shock, disbelief, hope and even longing as the female spread her arms, her shotgun still grasped in one hand as she shouted up to him:

“Are you fucking kidding?!”

Then, without missing a beat or even really looking, she shot the latest mercenary stupid enough to vault over the barricade. Garrus' mandibles twitched to smile, that had Shepard's no nonsense attitude all over it. After that, he began picking off the bastards that tried to aim for her, as she and her team raced across the last stretch of bridge. He continued whittling them down as he heard them run up the stairs, and though his heart leapt at the sound of _her_ voice, Garrus held up one talon, signalling he needed a moment before he put down the last mercenary... or at least, the last one for the moment.

Trying to play it cool, and draw out the moment of hope in case he turned round and realised he'd imagined everything... too many stims could cause hallucinations, after all... Garrus propped himself and his rifle against a stack of crates before slowly removing his helmet. It was now or never. _This_ was the true test. The female might be corporeal, but his exhausted eyes could still be playing tricks on him. How she reacted now would let him know if what he saw was real or not.

“Garrus!”

The excitement in her voice was undeniable, so was the wide grin on her scarred face. Spirits! He wanted to ask her what in the galaxy had happened to her... where the heck had she been. Spirits! He wanted to tell her how glad he was to see her... to tell her how much he's missed her. But all of that faded into the background when she rushed at him.

He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him, when she grabbed the front of his armour to pull him down, so she could press her forehead to his, completely unabashed about displaying affection in front of her team.

“Fuck, Vakarain. They said they couldn't find you.”

Her whispered words were the last piece of the puzzle for Garrus. She looked like Shepard, acted like Shepard, sounded like Shepard, _smelt_ like Shepard, and even spoke like Shepard. Without hesitation, he pulled her into as tight a hug as their armours allowed, not caring about the surprised looks the males were giving them.

“I thought you were dead,” he murmured, his voice rough.

Shepard nodded, and pulled back to look at him. “You okay?”

“Been better,” Garrus admitted, tiredly. “But it sure is good to see a friendly face.”

She pressed her forehead back to his. “Sure is, hot shot. But how'd you get yourself into this position?”

“I let my feelings got in the way of my better judgement. It's a long story,” he rumbled. “I'll make you a deal: you get me out of this alive, and I'll tell you the whole damn story.”

“Pretty sure I owe you the same thing,” she smiled, finally stepping away. “I'll buy you a drink one we get out of here.”

 


	32. Chapter 32

Blue. All Shepard saw when she closed her eyes was blue. And not the electric blue of the stupid fish tank in her cabin, or the cobalt blue of her new gear tint, or the matching blue of Garrus' familiar armour, or the denim hue of his clan markings, or even the icy blue of his eyes. No... all Shepard could see was the vivid azure blue of his blood.

When she'd raced back up the stairs and saw Garrus lying in a growing pool of his own blood, it was only Zaeed's quick reflexes as he grabbed her arm and pulled her into cover, that stopped Shepard trying to Charge a gunship. She was so furious, that everything was narrowed down to killing the bastard that hurt her sniper. So the fight passed in a blur, until Shepard found herself kneeling in Garrus blood, her hands pressed to his face to try keep his mandible attached, whispering reassuringly while Jacob radioed for extraction.

She insisted on following the stretcher to the MedBay, neither Jacob nor Zaeed daring to pull her away. The only person who was brave enough was Joker, and all he needed to do was wrap his arms around her waist. The fight went out of her then, and she'd have crumpled to the floor if it wasn't for him. Eventually, Shepard shuffled to her cabin in a daze, mechanically dumping her too blue armour in the cleaning unit before heading for the shower. She watched as Garrus' azure blood was rinsed out of her hair and off her body to swirl down the plug hole.

The next thing she knew was Zaeed of all people, hefting her our of the shower, the white t-shirt he was wearing getting soaked in the process. Shepard was vaguely surprised he didn't leer or crack some sexual joke as he helped her dry, and instead told her about a woman named Jessica, who'd once been his partner before a mission went wrong... Shepard got the impression it was Zaeed's way of saying he understood, and to apologise for his careless comment about Garrus not making it. Not that he'd been proven wrong yet, but she vaguely appreciated the gesture, at least enough to take a swing of the cheap whiskey he kept in a hip flask.

Shepard sat starring blindly a head for a while after the mercenary left, until Joker was suddenly in front of her. Even in her continued stupor, she found it funny that EDI... because how else would they know to come looking for her... was sending anyone who wasn't Cerberus to help her.

Joker sat on the bed beside her, seemed to hesitate for a moment, before his arm draped around her still bare shoulders. Not caring that she was still only wearing a towel, Shepard leant into his one armed embrace. Tears were welling in her eyes, but she tried to match her breathing to Joker's, forcing herself to be calm. Shepard had no idea how long they stayed like that, until the pilot eventually insisted she needed to get dressed. It was then that she noticed the nondescript bag that had been discarded at the foot of the steps. Inside she found dark denim jeans, a white tank top, and a black leather jacket with red detailing. She very nearly cried at his thoughtfulness... she hated the crap Cerberus had given her.

Once dressed, Joker insisted on dragging her down to engineering. Apparently the two engineers she'd met before Omega had wanted to invite her for a game of Skylian Five, to take her mind off things whilst she waited for Garrus to get out of surgery. They'd been too nervous to approach her, so had asked Joker if he thought it was a good idea. Which he did and wasn't going to let her argue.

Shepard was glad Joker had made her go, because she came away from it not only five hundred credits richer, but also with a clearer head. She was still beside herself with worry, but finally felt in control of her emotions again. So after giving Joker a thank you hug, Shepard headed up to her cabin to gear up, only slightly flinching at the blue detailing on her armour, before getting EDI to tell Zaeed and Jacob to meet her at the air lock. They were both waiting for her by the time she got down to CIC, the Cerberus officer looking wary, whilst the mercenary simply offered her his hip flask. Taking a gulp, Shepard grimaced at the burn. She eyed both men for a moment, offering them a feral smile, before stating:

“We have a salarian scientist to find!”

 


	33. Chapter 33

When Garrus came too, he was so high on pain killers, it took him several attempts to figure out why the male salarian and human female standing over him looked familiar, but also seemed so very wrong to him. They looked blurry to him. Though eventually, he recognised both Mordin; who'd patched him and his team up from time to time, and Doctor Chakwas; from his time on the Normandy.

Wait! Spirits! Shepard.

He frantically began trying to look around, desperately trying to get off the medical cot he lay on. Shepard. He remembered Shepard. But where was she? It hadn't been a hallucination. It hadn't been some near death vision. He remembered hugging her. He remembered pressing his forehead against hers. She'd been real. He keened in distress. He had to find her.

Mordin suddenly stuck a needle in the softer hide of his neck. Garrus snarled, furious. The salarian had been an ally back on Omega, and now he was... betray... betrayay... betraying... h-him...

When Garrus woke again, he felt calmer than the first time around, and immediately recognised Doctor Chakwas. The female smiled at him kindly, as she took his vitals, then undid the restraints that bound his wrists and legs to the cot, before helping him to slowly sit up.

“You were disoriented when you first woke, agitated too. We had to sedate you in case you reopened any wounds.”

“Sh... Shepard?” he asked.

As he tried to move his mandible, the entire right side of his face exploded in pain. He whimpered pitifully, as the doctor administered a dose of medi-gel. Through the drug haze, Garrus vaguely remembered the gunship, but he didn't care about any injuries he might have. He knew Shepard had been there, he remembered her bare hands on his face as he lay choking on his own bloody. She had been there. She was really... she had to be...

“She's alright...” Doctor Chakwas soothed. “After bringing you in, she went in search of Mordin so he could help me get you back on your feet. And from what Jeff tells me, she's been sat on the CIC probing planets since returning.”

“Joker... too?” Garrus managed to rasp out.

The doctor chuckled. “It's a long story, but you're not fit enough to be going anywhere soon. If you sit back and let the medi-gel work, I'll tell you everything I know.”

Garrus relented. As much as he wanted to see Shepard... desperately wanted to see her... he figured it might be better to go see his old commander and mentor when he could actually stand. He'd probably given her a scare, and crawling to see her wouldn't exactly put his mind at ease. So he shut his unfocused eyes and simply listened. It was a _lot_ to take in, but at the end, all Garrus could do was keen in relief. Shepard was back, alive. But she was in the clutches of Cerberus, behind enemy lines. He couldn't help the trill of worry that rang through his sub-harmonics. Something that only intensified, when he opened his eyes again.

The right one refused to focus, and Garrus had a sinking feeling what that meant. His hearing on that side was always muffled... though at least that could be from the pressure bandage helping to hold his mandible in place. His hand had trembled when Chakwas relented and gave him a mirror. The damage was extensive and not just limited to his face, his right shoulder had been badly smashed in the impact, and he had extensive burning from his throat, over his cowl and almost halfway down his torso too. But Garrus knew he was lucky. A few centimetres either way and he'd either complete lost his right eye, or had his main artery severed. Spirits! He was lucky to still have his mandible attached to his face.

So when Mordin returned carrying his visor, hurriedly explaining about adjustments made to compensate the loss of vision before disappearing again, Garrus wasn't too upset. Of course it was a blow. But he hadn't lost a limb or a mandible or his life. Besides, he vaguely recalled a scarred mercenary Shepard had with her. He was almost sure the male was completely blind in one eye, and it hadn't seemed to affect his aim, and Garrus supposed it would just take time to adjust. However, he _was_ concerned with the haziness of his memory, but after Chakwas ran some basic tests, she concluded that it was only his short term memory that was affected, which was fully expected considering the head trauma he'd recently suffered.

Which meant he was finally able to leave MedBay, except for the small problem of something to wear, as he doubted a turian walking round in a hospital gown on a Cerberus vessel would go down well. However, apparently death hadn't changed Shepard one bit... she had always thought of others before herself, and have gone back to his hold hide out with Mordin and the mercenary, in order to retrieve any personal items she could find. Which really only amounted to a set of worn civvies, a holo of the ground team, Nihlus and Joker from the SR1, and his two guns that Shepard must have grabbed when she'd called for evacuation; otherwise they wouldn't have been there... damn vorcha. So Garrus dressed with Doctor Chakwas' assistance, and donned his upgraded visor.

All that was left was to find Shepard.

 


	34. Chapter 34

Shepard sat crossed legged, over looking the galaxy map as she sent probe after probe into various planets around the system. It was mind numbing, so much so, that Joker hadn't argued when she told him to get some sleep and let EDI navigate the ship whilst she mined for resources. It was boring and monotonous, but perfect for keeping her mind occupied. However, Shepard was so zoned out, she didn't realise anyone was in the CIC with her, until a taloned hand landed on her shoulder, making her slightly jump.

“Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?”

Glancing up, her breath caught in her throat when she saw Garrus' face. Of course, Chakwas had given her a warning, but expecting and seeing were two totally different things. It was bad, there was no denying it... but he was alive. And Shepard had been convinced she'd lost him when she'd only just found him again. So she grinned up at Garrus, giving him a blatantly checking him out, making him snort.

“You're going to give Wrex a run for his credits with those scars, Vakarian. But you're still one sexy turian.”

Garrus chuckled before groaning suddenly. “Ah... don't make me laugh, damn it. My face is barely holding together as it is. Besides, aren't you humans all about the friendly insults?”

“Sure,” she laughed. “If you'd been Nihlus I'd have told you to slap some face paint and no one would notice... smug bastard thought he was such a ladies man. You on the other hand... it just adds to your bad boy vigilant vibe.”

Garrus snorted again. “Well... some females find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those females are krogan...”

For the first time since waking up in the Cerberus lab, Shepard laughed, it felt so good to have Garrus around again. She heaved herself to her feet and led him towards the elevator. The CIC was hardly the place to have a reunion... or answer any questions he might have... not that Shepard was under the illusion that her cabin was any more private. Or at least she hadn't, until Garrus began to type furiously into his omni-tool the moment he set foot in her quarters. There was a loud crackle before he flicked his left mandible out in a lopsided grin.

“There. No bugs and camera's are disabled.”

Shepard was impressed. “EDI, can you disconnect from the captain cabin for the next hour. Advice personnel I'm unavailable, unless it's Joker or Chakwas. Make it clear to Lawson that she cannot override my authority if she tries.”

“Of course, commander. Logging you out.”

Sighing in relief, she led Garrus down to the seating area near her bed and tried not to chuckle when he gave the ridiculous fish tank a confused glance. She shook her head when he gave her a questioning look, because no, she had no idea why either. Once they were seated, Shepard shuffled, curling her legs beneath her in order to comfortably face the turian. Unable to help herself, she reached out to touch his uninjured shoulder.

“How are you doing?” she asked, softly.

“Frankly, I'm more worried about you,” Garrus replied. “Chakwas filled me in, so I understand why you're with them... but I've heard bad things about Cerberus these past few years.”

“I haven't forgotten what they are. I haven't forgotten Kahoku either. But human colonies are disappearing, Garrus,” she explained. “I didn't ask to be brought back, but I'm here now. I can't sit by and let people be taken. I understand if you say no, but if I'm walking into hell, I want someone I trust at my side. And there's no one I trust more than you.”

“Not even Wrex?” he quipped, smiling lopsided again. “You realise your plan has me walking into your human hell too. Ha! Just like old times. You should know I wouldn't let you do this alone. I'm fit for duty whenever you need me, Shepard.”

“We'll need to get you set up somewhere away from the bigots, but where?” she mused.

“I'll set up in the forward battery, see what I can do with the guns,” he assured. “You know, I thought I'd seen every weapon in that galaxy in our fight against Saren, mercenary work showed me otherwise. And now Cerberus rebuilds the Normandy with a few upgrades to boot... I almost wish we'd joined them sooner.”

“Glad you think you'll be able to settle here, all things considering. But we haven't joined Cerberus. They're funding the mission... I wish I could say that's all... but the bastards also rebuilt _me_... with a few upgrades to boot.”

“Relax, Shepard,” Garrus rumbled, soothingly. “It was just a figure of speech. I know you're only working with them for the best possible reasons.”

“How can you be so sure?” she asked, suddenly.

Ever since waking up, Shepard had felt a quiet rage bubbling inside her. She was angry... so much more than she ever remembered being. Of course she'd poured over the Project Lazarus logs, had Chakwas run every conceivable test to check she was still human and actually her, not some impressive cyborg or a clone with imprinted memories. The doctor had given her the all clear, condfident that Shepard was still her, and even Joker had reassured her when he'd caught wind of her doubts. After all, he'd actually seen her whilst Lawson and her team rebuilt her. But late into the night cycle, when nightmares about yellow beams and explosions and the cold expanse of heartless stars kept her from sleep, Shepard worried.

“What do you mean?” Garrus queried, concerned.

“Am I really me?” she wondered, her voice wavering. “Am I _me_? Not some clone, or cleverly programmed android... don't get me wrong, I had Chakwas run tests, so I know... but still... I...”

Garrus talons carefully wrapped around her hand that had slipped from his shoulder, giving it a gently squeeze. He seemed to hesitant for a moment, before he bent to press their foreheads together.

“If you can't trust yourself, trust me,” he told her. “You are _you_ , Shepard. They couldn't have copied so many quirks and mannerisms, they couldn't have copied your personality so well. And I bet you have memories in there that weren't public knowledge.”

“Like my stand off with Wrex on Virmire, and giving Tali that geth data for her pilgimage,” she smiled. “Yeah, I know, Hot Shot... thanks. Sometimes I just have a hard time wrapping my head around it all.”

Garrus flicked his mandible in a smile. “I can imagine, but I promise, you're you. I know you're only using Cerberus and we haven't joined them... but it's not like I could doubt your judgement anyway, not after I got my own squad killed.”

“How did you end up fighting mercenaries on Omega?” Shepard asked, genuinely curious.

“You know I was training to be a Spectre, but... after the Normandy... after you...”

He trailed off and sat back, staring off into middle distance, and her heart broke for him. It had been distressing enough to wake up after two years of being dead, but at least she hadn't had to live through the death of a friend. Ever since her Dad's passing, Shepard had believed that death was always hardest on those left behind. And if she had any doubts what she'd meant to her friend, Garrus' heartbreaking keen told her everything. Without a word, she gave his talons that were still holding her hand a squeeze, earning her a flicker of a lopsided smile.

“Nothing was being done. Nihlus stayed to help Anderson, but I couldn't. With you... gone... it... I...” he blew out a shaky breath. “Omega was filled with criminals no one else could touch, and there was no red tape to slow me down. It was a perfect fit.”

Shepard gave a slight smile at his attempt at a joke, clearly remembering their talks on the SR1. She ran her thumb over the back of his talons, letting him know she understood.

“You always were a bit of a rebel without a cause,” she teased, gently.

Garrus snorted, but didn't deny it. “People there needed someone to believe in. Someone to stand up to the local thugs.”

“So that's how you started,” Shepard smiled. “How did you end up with a squad?”

“Actually... not to different from how you formed your squad to stop Saren,” he admitted, seeming embarrassed. “You prove you can get things done, and people join up. Mercs who wanted to atone. Security consultants tired of playing by the rules. I gave them hope... and now they're dead. Shows what I know.”

“Tell me about them,” she smiled, sympathetically.

He took another shuddering breath. “There were twelve of us, including me. Former military operatives, C-Sec agents... the usual. Had a salarian explosives expert. Pretty sure he spent time in the STG. My tech expert was a batarian, believe it or not. Not the friendliest guy, but he could hack any system ever built.”

“I'm surprised you didn't keep that title for yourself.”

“Nice try. We both know Tali was your tech expert, not me,” Garrus retorted, with a hint of a smile.

“What did your squad do? It was obvious you weren't for hire.”

“You saw Omega,” he sighed, wearily. “It was full of thugs kicking the helpless. I formed my team to kick back. We weren't mercenaries... at least, nobody was paying us. We made money by taking down slavers, pirates or gangs that went too far. Every member of my team had lost someone to Omega's gangs. We weren't out to get rich. We were out to make those bastards think twice about murdering someone in the street.”

“It seems you did enough good to piss them off.”

“I got three separate merc bands to work together to take me down. My old captain at C-Sec would be impressed,” he drawled, sardonically. “It was simple. We hit their shipments, disrupt activities. Get under their skin. Make them angry. They'd come charging into our well-prepared kill zone. Crossfire and snipers, clean and surgical. They never stood a chance.”

“I'm sorry to ask, but how did the gangs take down your team?” she asked, cautiously.

With an agitated grow, Garrus finally let go of her hand and stood. For a moment, he stared into the electric blue of the empty fish tank before he started to pace.

“It was my own damn fault. One of my people betrayed us. A turian named Sidonis. He drew me away just before the mercs attacked my squad, then he disappeared. Everyone except me is dead because of him... and because I didn't see it coming.”

Shepard couldn't help thinking that Garrus wouldn't be alive if that Sidonia hadn't lured him away from their base, but she didn't dare say that aloud. Her gut was telling her there was something more to this story, something Garrus probably didn't even know, but she knew he wouldn't see it that way. She'd seen this type of simmering anger in him before, back on the SR1 it was aimed at Saleon, now it had intensified tenfold and was aimed at a traitor. Shepard was worried.

“Do you know where Sidonis is?”

Garrus growled. “No. His trail ends after he leaves Omega. But I'll keep hunting. I lost my whole team except Sidonia. One day I'll find him... and correct that.”

Not able to sit by and listen any longer, Shepard got up from the sofa and grabbed Garru's biceps to stop his pacing. His left mandible trembled for a moment, as he regarded her silently. Without thinking, Shepard grabbed his cowl and pulled him down so she could press her forehead to his. It wasn't simmering anger inside him but burning fury, and it would be a lie to say Shepard wasn't scared. Not of Garrus, but for him. She'd seen too many good soldiers go off the deep end because of PTSD... Toombs and Major Kyle in particular came to mind. There wasn't a chance in hell she was going to let Garrus go the same way.

“You're not alone in this, Vakarian. I helped you with Saleon and I'll help you with this. You are not alone.”

 


	35. Chapter 35

Jeff had never hated the Alliance more, than when the brass asked Shepard to go to Alechra... the Normandy's crash site... the place where she bloody died! Seriously... what the fuck was wrong with these people? Did they really think that the 'Savour of the Citadel' had been in hiding for two years? Did they really think that all the crap he went through that resulted in his discharge was just incredible acting?

So he insisted on going with her, as did Karin, and Garrus. There was no chance they were going to let her face it alone. However, the doctor wouldn't let him risk going out onto the frozen planet; because Cerberus upgrades or not, he still had Vrolik's Syndrome. So only Garrus went to collect the fallen crew's dog tags with Shepard, and both Jeff and Karin tried not to stare when she returned carrying her old helmet.

But honestly, Jeff thought watching Shepard set up the beacon beside a piece of hull that still bore the Normandy's name, was the hardest thing since watching her get spaced. Or at least... he did before they went to the Citadel.

Jeff had gone with Shepard to see Anderson, whilst she sent Garrus to meet up with someone called Kasumi and sent Zaeed to go pick up supplies. He wasn't exactly surprised that Nihlus was waiting with the councillor, but he wasn't prepared to see the turian fall to his knees and keen, wrapping his arms around Shepard's waist the moment she was near enough. He also hadn't anticipated seeing Anderson close to tears... or the commander for that matter.

Which official became the hardest thing he'd ever watched... until he had to watch Shepard try pretend that she okay, when they both explained they couldn't join her. It was obvious that she understood, and that she appreciated Anderson fully reinstating her Spectre status and Nihlus setting himself up to be her contact... spy... on the Citadel. However, it was also clear she was disappointed.

But even that paled in comparison to helping Shepard explain where she'd been for the past two years. Jeff wasn't sure if it was harder to listen to her account of what happened when she'd first woken, or recounting how he saw her being rebuilt. Either way, he still had Karin forward him all the files they had on Project Lazarus, in order to forward them to Anderson and Nihlus.

All in all, it was just a shitty day in general.

So when they finally headed back to the Normandy, Jeff couldn't resist dragging Shepard to Citadel Souvenirs. Unsurprisingly, she bought the two model ships they had in stock. However, Jeff caught her looking longingly at the funny Space Hamsters they had for sale, as well as the kind of weird looking Skald Fish. He could understand wanting to fill the monstrous fish tank with aquatic life, but the hamster was a bit of a surprise... they were cute looking though, and Jeff knew Shepard wasn't _just_ the tough marine most people expected her to be.

Which meant that the moment Shepard got distracted by the awful Al-Jilani trying to corner her, Jeff ordered a hamster and a shoal of fish to be delivered to the SR2 as a surprise.

 


	36. Chapter 36

Garrus had finally ventured out of the Forward Battery without Shepard's insistence, and made his way to the cockpit to catch up with Joker. He hadn't really spoke to the pilot since... well, some things were better left unsaid. The human had handled her... not being around worse than he had, which was saying something. But he'd always liked the male, and it was obvious Joker was doing everything he could to help and support Shepard, which Garrus respected and was thankful for. Spirits knew he wasn't doing a good enough job, and with Nihlus unable to join them and Wrex being Wrex and not checking his extranet messages, he felt like the biggest bastard in the galaxy, because Shepard needed him.

Not that she actually said anything. Garrus knew she wouldn't, not wanting to put pressure on him when it was probably blindingly obvious to her he wasn't coping with the death of his squad. But he saw it in her eyes. He shooed her away once when he hadn't felt up to company, citing the need to calibrate the cannons, and for a moment the hurt in her vivid green gaze had felt like a punch to the gut. In all honesty, Garrus would have preferred it if she had hit him, it would have been less painful than watching her fake a smile for him and pretend not to be upset by his dismissal.

Which was sort of the reason he'd dragged himself out of the Forward Battery. Originally, Garrus had intended to go spend time with Shepard, maybe try and explain some of what was going on in his head, since he desperately didn't want her to think the problem was, well... her. Because it wasn't. But when the AI had told him she was busy with their newest recruit, he'd thought it best to go talk to another friendly face, instead of going back and sequestering himself again.

Then again, maybe that wouldn't have been a bad idea. Since while standing chatting to Joker, Shepard strolled towards the airlock with Ms Goto in tow. Both were seriously dressed up; the thief wearing a floor length purple number with sleeves, and still had a hood that obscured her face. Whilst the commander was in a very form fitting black piece, that stopped above her knees. Her arms were bare too, and Garrus didn't think he'd ever seen Shepard with so much skin on show.

Not that it was a bad thing. She looked amazing. Even if it let him see her face wasn't the only place with still healing scars. However, Shepard only had a M-6 Carnifex as a side arm and Garrus couldn't help worrying. Which yes, that was the story he was sticking to, no matter what Joker thought. His sudden elevated heart rate, shortness of breath and dry mouth was nothing but extreme concern that Shepard was under armed and completely unprotected. Not because was _affected_ by the amount of incredibly soft looking skin she had on show.

“Where are you two off?” he asked, hoping he sounded nonchalant.

“We have a party to attend,” Shepard explained. “We need to catch a shuttle from the Citadel though. We won't be gone more than a night cycle.”

“Ladies' night,” the thief agreed, grinning.

“If it's ladies' night, what's he doing?” Joker asked, scoffing.

Garrus glanced in the direction the pilot was looking, surprised to see that grizzled merc; Zaeed in something other than his battle worn armour... not that he really blamed him, since he himself was itching to get into the new set of armour he'd ordered from Rodam Expeditions. However, jumping from beat up armour to a navy suit was quite the jump.

“Honorary member,” Shepard supplied, throwing the merc a wink.

“I forgot my sequin dress on my other ship,” Massani stated, deadpan.

 


	37. Chapter 37

Shepard rolled her neck and shoulders, trying to alleviate some of the pain after Grunt slammed her into the bulkhead. It was an oddly welcome feeling, it reminded her of the spars she used to have against Wrex. Damn! She missed that krogan. Which was probably why she'd opened the tank Okeer had left her in the first place... that, and bubble butt had bitch for twenty minutes about how terrible it would be to let the pure bred loose on the ship.

Really, it was just another thing to her supposed 'second in command'... Shepard had actually laughed when she'd heard the operative say that to Jack, her other new recruit. She'd probably earned a few brownie points with the ex-con for that, actually. But certainly hadn't curried her any favours with the operative. Which she might care about, if apparently all her fucks hadn't remained dead when she woke up on that Cerberus operating table.

Actually, that was a lie. All the fucks about what people thought about her had remained dead. Shepard still cared about her friends, and obviously the innocent colonists being abducted by the collectors. She even cared about her new recruits... she wasn't particularly fond of Zaeed after the stunt he'd pulled back on Zorya, but she still cared enough not to leave him to die. Shepard did actually like Kasumi though, perhaps even more after the heist they pulled. She actually already liked Jack, the woman could potentially be a ticking time bomb, but her hate for Cerberus made the biotic someone Shepard thought she could trust. Mordin was an odd one, she had a soft spot for the salarian, but her friendship with Wrex made his involvement with the genophage hard to stomach.

Which brought her back to Grunt.

Gut reaction, she liked him. She was sort of used to the krogans' aggressive 'act now, talk later' attitude. Hell, Wrex had pointed a shotgun at her heart and they still made it out the other side closer than ever. The angry bruise already forming across the front of her neck was nothing in comparison, and with her Cerberus upgrades, Shepard figured it would be gone by tomorrow. Still, she made the most of it, grinning widely as Operative Bubble Butt nearly spat out her coffee at the sight of it. She also didn't bother to hide it during her holo-call to the Illusive Man, though all thoughts of new recruits and pissed off Cerberus officers went out the window, the moment her _generous donor_ informed her about Horizon... and Kaidan Alenko.

After ordering Joker to set a course, she went straight to the Main Battery to vent to Garrus. Shepard could only imagine what seeing Alenko would be like, and it probably wouldn't be pretty. She'd have said he was like a puppy back on the SR1, but he wasn't at all endearing. Wrex and Nihlus referring to him like a varren in heat was probably much more accurate. He'd even been wilfully ignorant the night before Ilos, and Shepard was fairly sure her and Nihlus could have been actually fucking and he wouldn't have gotten the message. It was a small miracle her partner had managed to run him off as he did... and to think, some stupid bastard in Cerberus thought to put a holo of that ass in her cabin. Actually, she was almost convinced it was TiM having a bloody laugh at her expense.

Seriously, with all the shit she'd been through since waking up, the whole second life thing felt like a fucking joke... so she really wouldn't be surprised if TiM's idea of a practically joke was Kaidan-bloody-Alenko.

 


	38. Chapter 38

Garrus couldn't help the low, menacing growl that escaped him, when faced with Alenko again. He hadn't seen the human since Shepard's _mother_ had thrown him out of her daughter's memorial. But there he was, once again making a scene. As if the whole 'shit show'... as the commander called it... on Horizon wasn't enough before dealing with Alenko's dramatic entrance, pulling a startled Shepard into a hug, before he started throwing accusations at her.

Alenko raved about everything. The commander had faked her death, she hadn't used her valuable time to try contact him, Cerberus...and therefore Shepard... were the ones abducting colonists, accused her for being a traitor to the Alliance, and then to top it all of, threatened to report her supposed duplicity to the council. Which official ended Garrus' patience, not that he hadn't tried to defend a dumbfounded Shepard during Alenko's tirade. But enough was enough. Though just as he was about to put himself physically between the commander and her former lieutenant, planning on scaring the bastard a little, it was Jack that disrupted Alenko's diatribe.

“Who the fuck is this fuck boy?” she sneered, looking questioningly at Shepard. “I mean... fuck. I fucking hate Cerberus, but you probably hate the fucking bastards as much as I do.” The biotic turned to glare at Alenko. “Seriously, who the fuck do you think you are? And you seriously think Queen of the fucking Girl Scouts over here is a traitor?! What, were you dropped on your head as a fucking kid or something?” She glanced back at the commander. “Can I just shoot the fucker all ready? So we can get the fuck off this fucking hell hole!”

Much to Garrus' surprise, Shepard suddenly burst out laughing, and considering it was the most reaction she'd had since Alenko had appeared, he found it even more unnerving. Without really thinking, he gently took hold of her armoured shoulders, waiting for her to calm down before he pressed his forehead to hers. He was about to ask if she was alright... perhaps she'd hit her head during the last fight... but of course...

“Garrus? What the hell, I thought we were friends? But you're moving in on my girl?!” Alenko interrupted. “And Shepard, how could you? I thought we had something special?!”

Once again, the human had seemed to stun Shepard, who turned to stare at him. It would have been impressive, since the commander was usually the one throwing someone for a loop... a weird expression Garrus had picked up from Doctor Chakwas... except he was starting to wonder if it was Alenko with the head injury. Shepard simply gaped at the man, before looking first to Jack and then to him, as if they had the answers. The biotic just shrug, whilst he let out an apologetic rumble in his sub-harmonics. He knew the commander couldn't hear them, but she always seemed to understand the implications. Which Garrus really hoped she did right now, because he genuinely felt terrible that he didn't have any answers for her.

“Alenko...” she sighed. “I've never been anything other than you commanding officer.”

“But Shepard, the night before Ilos...” the male began.

“I spent with Nihlus,” she interupt.

“But I know he coerced you!”

It was Garrus' turn to be startled. Not an unreasonable reaction, considering how quickly she drew her SMG, and pressed the muzzle beneath Alenko's jaw. The scent of the man's fear was pungent, and despite disliking the man more and more each second, Garrus knew Shepard would regret blowing the bastards brains out, even if he deserved it... she wasn't a violent person outside the battlefield, and he was seriously concerned for her. So once again, he gently gripped her shoulders, but this time from behind.

He'd take a bullet for Shepard in a heart beat, any Spirits damned day. He wouldn't even spit on Alenko if he was on fire... another wonderful human phrase... so he sure as hell wouldn't step in front of loaded gun for him.

“You talk shit about him again, and you'll be lucky if there's enough pieced left of you to find,” Shepard snarled, glaring at a terrified Alenko. “As for Garrus... you ever wonder why I put his name forward for Spectre training instead of yours? He's more of a man than you could hope to be. He's a better person, a better soldier, a better tactician, a better engineer, and a better friend than you'll ever be. He took one look at me on Omega and welcomed be with open arms. He didn't hurl abuse. Sure, he asked questions but he listened to my answers. Which is more than you've ever done for me.”

Garrus heard how her voice cracked at the end of her sentence, probably revealing a little too much about how she'd been coping since waking up. There was no chance he was about to let her fall apart in front of someone like Alenko... himself, Joker, Chakwas. Spirits! Even Jack and Kasumi who barely knew her, sure... but never a bastard like Alenko. So he quickly radioed the Normandy, asking the pilot to pick them up immediately.

“What... you're letting him call the shots now?” Alenko spat. “Didn't get enough of taking orders from one turian?”

Unable to control himself any longer, Garrus used his superior reach to stretch over Shepard and punch the bastard in the face, sending Alenko sprawling to floor. However, it was the commander's hand on his forearm that stopped him doing anything further. Well, that and the fact Shepard suddenly stated:

“He's my fucking XO! You're damn right I trust him to make those calls.”

 


	39. Chapter 39

Shepard had known she'd thrown Garrus for a loop when telling Alenko the turian was her XO, but it was true. She didn't care if the Illusive Man had shoved bubble butt in that position, she didn't trust the Cerberus cheerleader... as Jack so fantastically called the bitch... and Shepard knew she wasn't the only one. Everyone they'd recruited so far couldn't stand her, Jacob was about the only one on board that liked Lawson, and even he seemed pretty done with her at times. The rest of the team had slowly started going to Garrus if Shepard wasn't available, and she'd heard that even some of the Cerberus crew preferred approaching a towering alien, then speaking to the woman who was supposed to be Shepard's second in command. Which was, quite frankly, laughable.

Nihlus had been her partner throughout their hunt for Shepard, and though Pressly had officially been her XO, everyone knew to go to her fellow Spectre... even Charles himself. It wasn't that different here, except Garrus had stepped into Nihlus' place, whether he realised it or not, and bubble butt was delusional in still thinking Shepard would trust her with anything.

So she'd meant to invite Garrus up to her cabin for a chat. She'd honestly meant to discuss it with him sooner, the whole XO thing, instead of bringing it up like she had. But there was no one in the galaxy... other than maybe Nihlus... that Shepard wanted as her second in command. Garrus even had the added bonus of knowing her fighting style intimately, having been with her on practically every mission against Saren and now again in their fight against the collectors. If anyone had to replace Nihlus as her partner, she was glad it was him... partner... the word had stopped Shepard in her tracks, her hand poised to type out a message inviting Garrus up. The plan had always been for Vakarian to became her partner once he completed Spectre training, since both her and Nihlus knew he'd never be a field operative again. There was a pang of sadness at realising Kryik really wasn't her partner any more, but she couldn't deny that Garrus had seamlessly filled that roll, even if it was by accident.

So instead of firing off a quick message via her omni-tool, Shepard went to sit at her desk for the first time, intent on talking to Nihlus first to get his opinion on it, before officially approaching Garrus about his new rolls.

However, when she sat down, she noticed that stupid holo of Alenko. Shepard highly doubted EDI or the engineers would appreciate if she randomly shot something on the ship, even in the privacy of her own cabin, and Jack had recently taught her own to create Shockwaves. So channelling just a tiny amount of biotic power into her index finger, Shepard sent a mini Shockwave across the surface of her desk, watching in satisfaction as it hit it's target; cracking the glass and sending to frame flying. Of course, have an unexpected projectile fly in front of it's cage scared Admiral; the Space Hamster that Joker had bought her... so named because Shepard knew who in charge in her relationship with the small ball of fluff... and she got up to give it a choc drop as an apology. While she was up, Shepard figured she might as well feed the shoal of fish that now made her fish tank home; another gift from Joker.

But finally, Shepard was back at her desk and about to send a vid-call request to Nihlus... that's when she saw it an extranet message titled 'About Horizon' from Alenko. She almost called someone for support before she opened it, and once she'd read the damn thing, Shepard did call for support. She messaged Garrus, Joker and even Tali... since they'd gone to Haestrum straight after Horizon on a tip from TiM, and after fighting through a hoard of geth and rescuing both her and a marine called Kal'Reager, Tali had readily joined the crew; even offering to loan her a grenade to blow Cerberus from the inside, which Shepard greatly appreciated. She invited them up for a drink, knowing she needed to share the email with those who would understand the feelings bubbling up inside her. With that in mind, she fired off a message to Nihlus _kindly_ attached Alenko's email to it. Almost immediately, Shepard received a notification for an incoming vid-call.

“What the Spirits is that idiot prattling on about?” Nihlus said by way of greeting. “And I saw the report you sent David, but what on Palaven happened on Horizon, Shep?”

Chuckling, Shepard filled him in on everything that had happened, not sparring any detail, especially when it came to her confrontation with Alenko. She wasn't at all surprised that he wanted to meet Jack, after hearing of the biotic's instant dislike of her old lieutenant, she had also expected him to laugh when she explained about Garrus stopping her shooting Alenko, just to go punch him. However, she wasn't prepared for how hard it was to say what else she need to talk about.

“You know you could never be replaced, right Nih?” she asked, a lump in her throat.

His demeanour changed immediately, probably sensing her discomfort even though a vid-call. “What is it, Shep. What's happened?”

“You know I want to officially ask Garrus to be my XO, but... it's more than that,” Shepard explained. “Look, I'm going to get soppy here, I miss you like hell Nihlus. You were the best damn partner I could have asked for, and I wish you were able to come with us, I miss bouncing ideas off you. You spoilt me, because I miss having your support. I know you're only a vid-call away, but...”

“It's not the same,” he agreed, sadly. “I know, Shep. I wish I could do more than be your contact here on the Citadel. It doesn't feel right, but we both know Vakarian was always going to become your partner after his training.”

“You don't mind?” she asked, smiling sadly.

“Spirits, yes!” Nihlus chuckled. “I'd give almost anything to be in the shape I once was, and be able to head out with you... which reminds me, we never did get that match on Pinnacle Station... but if anyone is replacing me, I'm glad it's Vakarian. _We_ trained him well, Shep. He... eventually told me what happened on Omega, and Spirits! I'm sorry you had to handle that on your own.”

Shepard nodded. “It's change him, but me and you both know you don't go through something like that and come out the same. He's not as... open as he was before. Rarely wants to talk unless it's about a mission...”

“Shep... don't take it personally. If you were turian, you'd be able to understand better. As a people we tend to close ourselves off when we're hurting. We prefer to be alone to... lick our wounds, I think is the human phrase...” Nihlus explained. “If he's turning you away, remember there's a host of that conversation your human ears aren't picking up. I know Vakarian as well as you do, I guarantee his sub-harmonics would be apologising to you. You'd also be able to recognise the hurt and betrayal he's processing, and probably the appreciation that you're still checking up on him.”

She offered him a half smile. “I figured there was something I was missing. I don't want to put pressure on him with this partner business though, if...”

Nihlus chuckled. “The _best_ thing you could do would be to ask him now. It'd show the respect and trust you still have for him despite his 'failure'. I read somewhere that finding love is the ultimate goal for most humans, for us turians, it's having respect, especially from the people we care about.”

She nodded thoughtfully, before there was a chime at her door. “That'll be Garrus, Tali and Joker...” she explained, before shouting for them to come in.

“Hey, Shep. Nihlus,” Joker greeted.

“Good to see you again, Nihlus,” Tali added. “Is everything alright, Shepard?”

“Should we be worried? There isn't another rogue Spectre the council needs us to case down is there?” Garrus joked.

Nihlus laughed. “I was just giving my two credits about something I'm sure Shep's about to show you. I have a meeting with Anderson, but let me know what they think... and remember what I said.”

“Will do,” she chuckled, before ushering the others over. “So... I received something interesting after Horizon, and would like your opinions...”

 


	40. Chapter 40

By the time he'd left Shepard's cabin that night... after reading that Spirit's damned email with the others and wondering he'd given Alenko brain damage when he'd punched him, then talking to Shepard in private and realising that not only did was genuinely want him as her XO but also her as her partner; which he was still reeling from... Garrus thought he had seen and heard everything that could surprise him.

Then they went to Illium.

It wasn't the planet itself, or even the port of Nos Astra. It wasn't even the fact the news stations were openly reporting that an Assassin was in the city, and treating him like some kind of celebrity. Garrus wasn't even that shocked to watch Shiala, who they'd rescued on Feros, blatantly hit on Shepard... though the fact that she was green had give him a moment of pause. Or encountering Parasini who they'd helped on Noveria, or even an asari acting as a messenger for the racni queen Shepard had saved for Spirits sake! All barely registered on the 'strangest things he'd been through because of Shepard'. He wasn't even surprised when Shepard got excited when she found some fish at one of the kiosks, or Tali insisting they both got the commander the two model ships that were also on sale, because yeah, model ships were Shepard's thing.

No the weirdest was seeing that Conrad Verner again.

Actually, Garrus had forgotten all about the human male, until they saw him at the bar... dressed in a replica set of the armour Shepard used to wear; which reminded Garrus that he'd been meaning to ask the commander why she'd gone for blue tinted armour instead of a N7 set he knew she'd been proud to wear. The fact Shepard didn't shoot Verner in the foot like he would have done, or at least punched the imbecile when he was running his mouth. But of course, it was Shepard, which meant she actually ended up cleaning up the idiot's mess... and was a _lot_ nicer than she had any reason to be.

“A sting, Shepard! Really?!” he laughed.

The bar owner had insisted they stay for at least for a round of drinks on the house as a thank you, the bartender who seemed to have taken a likely for Shepard... no surprise there, since asari still seemed to throw themselves at the commander wherever they went... had thrown in a meal too. So the three of them grabbed a table away from the dance floor but with clear sight of the exit, Garrus had positioned himself so the scarred side of his face was nearest the wall. He knew he was lucky to be alive, and he might have joked about them before, but that didn't mean he wasn't self-conscious about the state of his face, especially out in public. Luckily, neither Shepard or Tali seemed to notice, and they took a moment to just be three, extremely well armed friends, hanging out. Which of course meant Garrus couldn't resist the chance to tease her.

“What? Telling him anything else would have been like kicking a puppy,” she defended.

Garrus flared his good mandible in a grin. “Since the only pups I know come from varren, I'm not seeing the problem.”

 


	41. Chapter 41

If anything hit home about it really being two years since her... death... Shepard supposed it was seeing Liara again. The asari wasn't the meek little archaeologist any more, though she wasn't exactly sure if the new ruthless streak was a good thing. Of course, Shepard understood the change. But throughout the chase for Vasir and subsequently storming the Shadow Broker's base, she'd worried about Liara. She'd really only seen two glimpses of the friend she'd known the entire time, once while tailing Vasir in the skycar where Liara had held on for dear life, and the other was how she first panicked when they finally found Feron; the drell the asari had been hell bent on rescuing.

But now that it was over, with the old Shadow Broker dead... though not before Shepard literally got in a few good punches for the bastard for threatening Garrus... and Feron was free, she still worried for Liara. The asari said she was happy taking on the mantel of the Shadow Broker, hoping it would help Shepard on her mission, but that didn't stop her having her doubts. Liara had looked close to collapse one they'd defeated the broker, not that she felt much better herself, yet she still insisted Doctor Chakwas check their friend over as well as Feron. As there was no chance Shepard wasn't going to get the best medical treatment she could for the man who'd saved her. She also sent the doctor to check on a protesting Garrus, because Shepard didn't care what he argued, the turian had still been knocked unconscious during the fight and wasn't about to take any chances with his still healing injuries.

Tali and Joker came to join them onboard the Brokers... Liara's... ship, the only other people allowed to be privy to the Shadow Broker's identity, the rest of the crew being told they were in pirate negotiations with the broker, and both Joker and Tali's ship expertises were needed. Of course bubble butt was furious about it, but there wasn't much she could do with a platoon of the Broker's guards stationed at the docking port.

Shepard had been looking forward to them all being together again, of course, it wouldn't be the same with Wrex and Nihlus missing, but it would be enough... she even snapped a photo of them all, sending it to her old partner with the caption: Wish You Were Here, before asking him to forward it to the krogan if he knew a contact address for him; since Shepard still hadn't found one. However, as the night went on, Shepard began to feel more and more out of the loop. These were some of her dearest, but she felt more out of place than ever. They'd lived two years without her, and Shepard had never felt it more than right then.

Of course, Garrus noticed something was off, and subtly sent her a message asking if she was alright, the most honest thing Shepard could think to answer was: I will be. But really, it only got worse from there, to the point she eventually had to excuse herself. Joker started to get up the minute she stood, but she ushered him back down. She used the excuse that her body was stiff and she just needed to move around for a bit... not a complete lie, since her Cerberus upgrades did make healing quicker, but her body often still ached in a way Shepard couldn't explain; then again, her skeleton was more titanium than it was bone, which probably had something to do with it. Joker didn't look convinced but nodded, though the minute Shepard had escaped the room, she'd received a message from him letting her know where he'd stashed the rest of the alcohol he'd brought onboard.

So after swiping a bottle, Shepard headed for the only person who might possibly understand how she felt. Of course, there was a chance Feron would just send her away, especially since he declined the invitation to join them all. But even if he did, Shepard figured she'd at least get the chance to thank him in private. After all, she wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for Feron, and most likely, neither would Liara. Unfortunately, between making sure everyone was seen by the doctor and checking through the Shadow Broker's network with Liara, Shepard hadn't had time to speak to him, which she was hoping to change as she palmed open the door to the Video Suite where he'd sequestered himself.

“Shepard?” he greeted, obviously surprised.

“Up for some company?” she asked, brandishing the bottle.

Feron moved to make room on the sofa he'd been reclining on. “Of course, I haven't thanked you for rescuing me yet. But aren't you...”

“Pretty sure that's my line. I wouldn't be here without you,” Shepard smiled, sitting next to him.

“It wasn't just me, Liara worked hard to get you back.”

“And you. She didn't stopping looking for you, I'm just glad she let me help,” she admitted. “The way she tells it, we both owe you our lives. I can never repay you for that.”

“I think rescuing me and killing the Broker settled the score,” Feron chuckled.

“Fancy drinking to our return to the land of the living?” she quipped, uncorking the bottle.

“Ryncol?” he asked, almost incredulously... though he was still smiling.

“Let's just say it's sometimes hard to accepted I spent two years dead,” Shepard replied, before taking a swig of the acrid liquid.

Even despite the alien quality to his deep onyx eyes, she recognised the look of understanding Feron levelled her with, before he accepted the bottle from her hands and took his own hearty gulp; leaving Shepard trying not to chuckle at the way he grimaced at the taste, or perhaps it was because of the burn... Ryncol was like drinking paint stripper even at the the best of times.

“I can appreciate that. I'm having a hard time really believing this isn't some fever dream,” he stated, taking another drink. “We could form a support group.”

“Club sounds better,” she teased. “We won't sound so depressed then.”

“Let's keep it exclusive, then it wouldn't matter,” Feron retorted. “Hopefully there aren't many out there as screwed up as we are.”

Shepard chuckled, accepting the bottle back and saluting him with it. “I'll drink to that.”

 


	42. Chapter 42

Nihlus and Wrex had always joked that Shepard should have been born krogan, Garrus had never really seen it before... sure, she had seemed to roll with whatever Wrex said or did without even blinking; which included pulling a gun on her for Spirits sake... but it wasn't until they went to Tachunka that he started to agree.

He almost wished he'd recorded Shepard's reunion with Wrex, who was now the leader of his clan. The pair were stoic in their greetings at first, simply stating each other's name with a polite head nod. Garrus wasn't sure which of them cracked first, the krogan grinned and Shepard snorted a laugh, then they were clasping each other's wrists before gently headbutting each other. Garrus could well remember Zaeed and Jacob's surprise at his own reunion with Shepard, so at first, he didn't really think of anything about the shocked mutterings from the gathered krogan. It wasn't until later that he learned Wrex had first greeted Shepard as a fellow warrior, and then as a family member, respect that was not show to aliens often.

But before that revelation came the quest to find Mordin's missing assistant, and all the horrors that came with it. Garrus wasn't at all surprised that Shepard talked the geneticist into keeping the genophage data; she'd never outright said anything, but he was pretty sure the commander had promised Wrex she'd help him find a cure. And knowing Shepard, she'd probably convince Mordin to start working on one in between his study of the collectors.

Then there was Grunt's 'Right of Passage'... why krogan just go get wasted and have a lap dance somewhere to mark their turning of age was beyond him, but regardless, Garrus found himself pulled along for the ride. A ride that involved fighting a Thresher Maw... on foot! Where on palaven Shepard got a gun that was basically fired small nuclear bombs was beyond him, but it did kill the Maw in two damn shots. Which was equal parts awe inspiring and terrifying, and to think, his people had once thought humans were merely squishy. Shepard was a force of nature.

However, Garrus was convinced the commander was having far too much fun for someone who wasn't actually a krogan. Even the shaman boasted the commander was more krogan than some of their actual people, for Spirits sake! And that was after Shepard had headbutted someone for trying to stop Grunt's Right of Passage, of course... Garrus had also seen the way she'd smirked when Wrex had headbutted the same krogan earlier as well. A krogan who was now dead for continuing to bad-mouth Grunt; which was roughly when Garrus realised Shepard had practically adopted a krogan, as well as the damn varren that followed her around endlessly... and he knew with the way she fussed over the ugly thing that she wasn't going to leave it behind.

So yes, Garrus could now clearly see why the others had always called her a krogan in human clothing... the fact she was currently downing a bottle of ryncol along with Wrex and Grunt also helped. He wasn't exactly sure what they were toasting at this point, the trio were quite a few drinks in. At first it was to celebrate Grunt becoming a member of Clan Urdnot. Then it was to celebrate Shepard accepting to become the young krogan's Battlemaster; what ever that was, then it was to celebrate the fact Wrex made her an _official_ krogan Battlemaster... which wasn't too surprising by that point. He thought there had been a drink to the grizzled leader more or less stating Grunt would be his successor, which... was certainly something. So was the conversation that followed.

Garrus hadn't thought really thought anything about Wrex lumbering over to him halfway through the night. He and Tali and stayed on Tuchanka with Shepard and Grunt to partly celebrate and party catch up with their old crew mate, they'd all chatted for a while, the young krogan wanting to hear of the 'glorious battles' Shepard and Wrex had fought together. But it had always been the human and krogan who were closer friends, so eventually he and Tali had wandered off to give them time; after all, they got to travel with Shepard again, and it was obvious the krogan wouldn't be coming with them. Though eventually, the quarian had gotten talking to the clan's mechanic, the pair getting amazingly excited about over some ground vehicle or something... Garrus liked guns, he hadn't a clue about mechanics so had tuned out halfway through... and gone off to look at upgrading an engine. Which had left Garrus alone, pointedly ignoring the vaguely threatening conversation that was happening around him, until Wrex came to find him.

“It's good to have her back,” the krogan stated by way of greeting.

“It is,” Garrus agreed. “The galaxy was a lot darker without her.”

“The void couldn't hold Shepard. She's strong, unyielding. She's a warrior,” Wrex grinned, a little unnervingly. “Hell of a woman... as the humans would say.”

Garrus' mandibles twitched, unsure what the krogan was getting at. “Can't argue there.”

The krogan laughed. “She's impressive... Grunt wasn't the only one to get breeding requests after the Right. Shepard's got her fair share of admires. Always did though.”

The growl that escaped him was completely involuntary, and honestly, Garrus had no idea where it came from. Okay, so Wrex was talking about their friend, his... partner, the woman he respected above anyone else including his own family. But it wasn't any of his business who took an interest in Shepard, or if she returned it. It didn't concern him at all, well okay, it concerned him as a conscientious friend. Yes, that was it. Someone who knew the commander's worth and knew she deserved better than a _breeding request_ , for Spirits sake! However, before he could explain that to Wrex, the krogan's laugh got louder, his hand clamped down on Garrus' shoulder.

“You've grown, kid. I'm glad you're back with her,” Wrex grinned. “Time will tell if she thinks you have enough of a quad to be worthy of her... but those scars should go a long way.”

Garrus sputtered, shocked, which only made the krogan laugh harder.

“Don't deny it, I've seen the way you look at her. No shame in it, if I was a few centuries younger, I'd probably kill you for her,” Wrex chuckled. “But you watch Shepard's back. I can't go with her, and if something happens to her, I know who to blame. Keep her alive, and I won't have to pry off your plates and let the pyjaks eat you alive.”

With that, Wrex left an utterly stunned Garrus behind as he casually strolled back over to Shepard and Grunt like nothing had happened. For a moment, Garrus simply stared after the krogan, his mandibles twitching. It wasn't the threat that bothered him... Garrus would throw himself out an airlock if anything ever happened to Shepard on his watch... but he couldn't get his head around Wrex' assumption. There was nothing but friendship and respect between him and the commander, nothing at all, and he couldn't figure out why Wrex thought there was something more... at least on his end. But Garrus didn't get a chance to actually think about it, because a startlingly drunk Tali staggered back over to him... and he _really_ hoped she hadn't been working on an engine in that state.

“They're ssso cute, aren't they?” she giggled.

“Who?” he asked, mostly reflexively.

The quarian waved a hand towards the commander. “Sssshepard,” she slurred. “And Grunt. Obvi-obviousss-Obviousssly. Ssso cute. He'ssss like a big, well armoured child. Who'd have thought, Sssshepard would be sssuch a good mum.” Tali paused to giggle. “And Wrecs... lovely, lovely Wrecs... He'sss adopted Grunt too. Ssso cute. Buuuuut....”

She suddenly wrapped her slender arms around one of his, reminist of the way Solona use to do when they were kids. And though Garrus couldn't exactly tell, he got the impression Tali was blinking up at him expectantly.

“Where doesss that leave you, Garrush?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” he replied, genuinely confused.

“Well.... if Ssshepard and Wrecs have a child... I mean a Grunt, no a child... together. Where'sss that leave you? Have you and Ssshepard broken up, oooor ish you Grunt'sss ssstep-dad?”

He couldn't have helped the chirp of surprise, even if he had tried, and for a good moment, he was left to stare at her in shock. Wrex he could put down to the krogan winding him up. Tali though... Garrus wasn't sure if it was some weird hopefully thinking on her part or maybe she was so drunk she was getting confused... he just didn't know.

“Tali, me and Shepard aren't together,” he explained.

Though when the quarian sniffled and seemed like she was about to cry, he hurriedly added:

“We never had been. We're just good friends, and now partners I guess.”

“Partnersss? No... that'sss Nihlush!” she argued.

“It was,” he agreed, as patiently as he could. “But Nihlus always knew he wouldn't get back out in the field. He was training me to replace him, I was going to be Shepard's partner after I finished Spectre training. But then... well... you know...” Garrus paused to swallow hard. “She asked me a few days ago if I still wanted the position.”

“You sssaid yesh, right?” Tali glared at him.

“Of course.”

“Good... ssstill, you ssshould assskss her. Bet ssshe'd sssay yesh,” the quarian rambled. “You'd be ssso cute together. Cuter than her and Wrecs...”

Naturally, just as Garrus was simply trying to process what Tali had said, never mind respond to it, Shepard chose that exact moment to jog over to them... and how she was so energetic and _coherent_ after so much ryncol was beyond him.

“Was wondering where you two skulked off too,” she smiled. “Looks like I've missed something, though...”

“N-no,” Garrus stammered out.

Though Tali nodded enthusiastically. “Yesh... Wash sssaying you and Garrush are much cuter than you and Wrecs ish.”

Garrus felt like he held his breath as Shepard took a moment to just look between him and Tali, her vivid green eyes giving nothing away. Though his heart inexplicably dropped when she smiled but shook her head, her arm slipping around Tali's shoulders to pry her off his arm.

“Think you're had enough for the night, better get you back to the Normandy,” Shepard stated, kindly.

“But you didn't anssswear,” Tali whined.

“Answer what?” the commander asked, clearly amused.

“You and Garrush isss cuter than you and Wrecs.”

“That's more a statement than a question, Tali,” Shepard chuckled. “But yes, I agree. Me and Garrus would be cuter than me and Wrex.”

If he could see her face, Garrus suspected the quarian would be smiling triumphantly as Shepard led her away, but all he could do was stare after the pair, wondering what the Spirits had just happened... and why did Shepard agreeing make him feel so damn happy.

 


	43. Chapter 43

When Chambers had 'advised' that she should go and speak to Garrus, Shepard had been equal parts worried and wary. There was something a little sinister about how the yeoman had said it, almost as if she'd been spying of Garrus. But then again, Shepard imagined they were all being spied on, with reports being sent back to the Illusive Man. And as much as she hated the thought, there wasn't much she could do about it right then, so she pushed it to the back of her mind as she palmed the lock for the Main Battery.

“Shepard, I'm glad you came by. I've got something I may need your help with,” Garrus said by way of greeting. “You remember Sidonis? The one who betrayed my team? I've found a lead on him.”

“Do you want to talk here or my quarters?” she asked.

“Good point.”

The moment Garrus locked his work terminal, Shepard led the way to the elevator and up to her quarters. The ride felt a little tense, but considering Chambers' hint that she'd seen Garrus get his intel. _despite_ the fact the turian hardly left the Main Battery, had made Shepard more than a little wary. Honestly, it kind of creeped her out, and she made a mental note to not only speak to the yeoman about her questionable practises, but also advise Garrus to get his chosen quarters for bugs and cameras. But that had to wait, because the moment they were in the privacy of her cabin, he continued his explanation.

“There's a specialist on the Citadel; name's Fade,” Garrus stated. “He's an expert at helping people disappear. Sidonis was seen with him.”

Shepard couldn't help snorting. “Fade... original. So, where can we find him?”

“I've arranged a meeting,” he explained. “We'll meet him in a warehouse near the Neon Markets, down on Zakera ward.”

She couldn't help smile at the fact Garrus knew her helping him was a foregone conclusion. It warmed her heart in a way she couldn't understand. Of course, she had already helped Kasumi, Mordin, Grunt and even Zaeed to a certain degree with personal issues. But Shepard couldn't help hoping that Garrus had simply trusted that she'd help him because they were friends, partners. She'd taken Nihlus' advice to heart, and she hoped her actions were getting through to Garrus. She wanted him to know she had his back, and that she cared about him, unconditionally. Though she couldn't help asking:

“What do you plan to do with Sidonis when you find him?”

“You humans have a saying 'an eye for an eye, a life for a life'. He owes me ten lives, and I plan to collect,” Garrus stated, a rumble of anger in his voice.

“You sure that's how you want to play it?” Shepard asked.

“I'm sure. I don't need you to agree with me, but I'd like your help.”

“Garrus, it's not about that,” she soothed, reaching to lay a hand on his shoulder. “You're my partner, I have your back, and what's more I understand. If someone had hurt you, or Tali and Liara, or Nihlus and Wrex, or Joker and Anderson... I'd want their blood too. I just want us to both be sure this is what you want. I don't want you to do something you'd regret later.”

“I won't,” he rumbled. “But thanks, Shepard. I appreciate you taking the time to help me.”

She offered him a small smile. “Any time, Hot Shot. We're partners after all.”


	44. Chapter 44

Garrus' talons drummed the small box he held in his hands. It was probably stupid to bring a gift to his commander to say 'thanks for helping me kill someone', but Garrus thought... hoped... Shepard would appreciate the gesture, the sentiment behind it... or at least the gift, since he knew it was a model ship she didn't have; he'd asked EDI to double check.

Honestly, despite Shepard saying she had his back, Garrus had expected her to try and talk him out of it a few times. She'd stopped him killing Harkin after all, and had grabbed his arm in the skycar, just before he went to set up, and once again asked if he was sure. Spirits! Shepard even stood in his crosshairs, his scope trained on the back of her head, as she'd blocked a seated Sidonis from his shot. Garrus had cursed her rather vividly over the comm. link after the time. Something he felt pretty ashamed about now, since he'd later realised Shepard was just getting all the information for him, so he could be sure he was making the right call. And it was. Shepard may have taught him that killing was only an option when there was no other left, but for Garrus, there was no other way for Sidonis to pay for what he had done. When he'd told her that, Shepard had simply stepped out of his shot and walked away.

When he'd met back up with her and Tali at the skycar, the quarian acting as their get away driver, Garrus could see in Shepard's eyes she didn't agree with his decision. However, she didn't say anything against it, didn't even call him out for cursing her, just simply asked if he was okay and if they were done on the station. It was then that Garrus had the idea to pick something up for her... an apology gift as much as a thank you one, so they'd made a quick stop at the market before heading back to the Normandy. He'd bought Tali the new Alliance Corsair for her Omni-Tool, as a thank you for keeping Shepard busy whilst he looked for a gift, the he supposed it was also an apology for dragging her on this mission as well.

Spirits! Those two women were the greatest friends Garrus could ever wish for, and he really needed to make up for what he'd put them through... Shepard especially, considering they were supposed to be partners, and the support hadn't exactly been equal. He'd been so focused on his hunt for Sidonis, he hadn't noticed the dark circles forming under the commander's usually vivid green eyes. Or the way her short fringe... hair... was always slightly messy, liked she'd been running her hands through it. He _had_ noticed that her scars were gone now, which was sort of relieving and worrying at the same time. And remembering that made him shift the box into one hand, so he could self-consciously trace his own hideous scars.

Of course, that was the moment the elevator door slid open on Shepard's deck. A little nervously, Garrus palmed the red lock, knowing she'd set it up to grant him access at any time. He found the commander doing crunches on the floor of her 'office', clad in a pair of navy skin tight leggings and an electric blue top that rode up a little to expose her trim waist, whenever she uncurled from a crunch. The sight made an unexpected wave of heat flood through him, but Garrus put it down to it being a _very_ long time since he'd gotten any stress relief, even on his own... he didn't trust Cerberus not to be reinstalling cameras and bugs after every time he shorted them out; but at least he knew Shepard's cabin was safe for her, since he'd set up a programme to systematically sweep her quarters every six hours.

Pushing the peculiar wave of arousal to the side, Garrus flared his good mandible into a small smile, hoping Shepard couldn't tell he was nervous, when she turned to look at him. He was worried she'd just throw him out... she might not have said anything in front of Tali, but Garrus knew Shepard had every right to be mad at him for the way he'd treated her lately. However, the grin she gave him could have lit up a room. He watched in amazement as she unfurled from another crunch, to suddenly flip herself onto her bare feet. It was an remarkable move, and Garrus couldn't help the trill of appreciation that escaped him. It was damn impressive. He meant to compliment her for it, but when she ushered him to follow her down to the seating area, he couldn't help get distracted by the sway of Shepard's hips.

“Garrus, what can I do for you?” she asked, taking a seat.

“I brought you something, to say sorry... and thank you.”

He fidgeted awkwardly for a moment, before sitting down beside her, and cautiously handed Shepard the box. He didn't expect her to almost lovingly caress the miniature turian cruiser once he unpacked it, nor did he predict the sudden feeling of Shepard's stupidly soft lips against his good mandible... the one closest to her... before she moved to gently press her forehead to his. Still, he found himself mourning the loss of both gestures when Shepard sat back down.

“I have no idea what it's for. But I love it, thank you.”

“Well, I wanted to say thanks for your help with Sidonis, and to say sorry,” he explained, quietly. “I know you didn't agree with my decision.”

“No I didn't,” she admitted, honestly. “But that's because I can be bloody vindictive at times.”

Garrus blinked at her, shocked. “I... don't think I follow.”

Shepard gave a humourless chuckle, as she stared across to her fish tank. “You killed him as payment for the deaths he caused, but I can't help thinking that was more mercy than revenge. You saw what a miserable bastard he was, nothing more than a shell. I'd have made him suffer with the knowledge of what he'd done. Sure, I'd have probably maimed him a little for what he put you through.” She paused to glance at him, her gaze flicking towards the injured side of his face. “But I'd have made him live with the guilt, probably tracked him down every anniversary of their deaths and dug the knife in a little deeper.”

He couldn't help starring at her. “I know you taught me that killing wasn't always the answer, but I always assumed it was for some righteous reason you thought that way. I mean, you even tried to talk Saren from the edge.”

She snorted, shaking her head. “I'm not the saint everyone seems to think I am. And if you remember, I managed to talk Saren into bloody killing himself!”

“That wasn't your fault,” Garrus consoled, hearing the hurt in the voice. “You gave him a chance to redeem himself, and I think he took it the only way he knew how.”

“And I think what you did for Sidonis was much kinder than you realise,” Shepard countered. “You gave him release from the guilt... I don't think I could have done that. Maybe before... but now Cerberus brought me back. I couldn't, especially not after nearly loosing you.”

A lump suddenly formed in his throat. “I... ah... didn't know you cared,” he tried to joke.

“Bullshit, Vakarian,” she laughed. “You know I love you, you dumb space raptor.”

 


	45. Chapter 45

Jeff knew that Shepard had planned to go to Pragia after leaving the Citadel, he didn't know what for but it didn't matter, since the Illusive Man had other ideas. The damn ship cancer locked the systems and wouldn't let him pilot the course the commander had plotted, so he reluctantly called over the comm. link to get Shepard to speak to their ass hole of a 'boss'. Ha! Like anyone other than the commander would ever be his boss. Jeff knew where his loyalties lay, and it was with the crazy redhead who fucking _died_ for him.

So when Shepard told him to fly them to the co-ordinates that bloody EDI had already punched into navigation, a damn collector vessel, Jeff couldn't help voice his concerns... and wish her luck. The fact she squeezed his shoulder when she left, gave him the impression she understood what he wasn't saying. He was worried, terrified, for his commander... his friend, but Jeff was never any good with words outside of sarcasm.

Which was why when it turned out to be a trap, that no one was surprised about, Jeff had yelled into the comm. that Shepard had to hurry up because he wasn't going to lose another Normandy. What was very loudly unsaid was that he wasn't prepared to lose _her_ again, but there was nothing Jeff could do to protect her, until she was back onboard _their_ ship, their _baby_... their home. It was why his heart was pounding erratically as his hands flew over the holo-controls, it was why he shouted at EDI to get them _anywhere_ but in the path of the collector beam. It was why he he choked back a sob when he felt Shepard's hand on his shoulder again, and it was why the moment he was sure they were safe, Jeff stood on throbbing legs and pulled the commander into a tight hug... her armour be damned.

“Never again!” he grit out.

It wasn't until Shepard pulled back to offer him a slight smile, letting Jeff see the unshed tears in her green eyes, that he realised she'd been just as scared as he'd been.

“Are you okay?” she asked... typical Shepard.

Jeff huffed a laugh, trying to reign in his emotions as her sat back down. “Yeah... yeah. Walk in the park, right?”

“Well, you're the best damn pilot in the galaxy,” she grinned, her breath still shaky. “I wouldn't doubt it.”

 


	46. Chapter 46

After the shit show on the collector base, Shepard needed a drink. Jack was in the MedBay for a nasty laser burn across her stomach from a collector weapon... which reminded Shepard she really needed to talk her fellow biotic into wearing some sort of armour; tattoos and belt straps were hardly protective... so after dumping her own armour in the cleaning unit, and changing into the jeans and t-shirt Joker had bought her weeks ago, Shepard went down to the Main Battery, after swiping some suitable beers from the onboard bar.

“Shepard. Need me for something?” Garrus greeted.

“Have you go a minute?” she asked, holding up the bottles.

The turian gave a rumbling chuckle, before locking his terminal. “Sure, I was just killing time anyway.”

As usually, he followed as she led the way to the elevator. Though Garrus pressed the button for her deck, since Shepard's hands were full, before he kindly took the dextro beers from her. They ascended in a comfortable silence... the most comfortable since Garrus rejoined her crew... and she smiled her thanks as he held the elevator door open for her. Once inside her cabin, Shepard elbowed the music panel, setting background music quietly playing, before she slumped dramatically on the sofa causing Garrus to laugh.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, kindly.

“No. I think I shouted it all out when I told that bastard he could shove his double crossing schemes up his ass, and I'd make him eat his own liver if he pulled that sort of shit on us again.”

Garrus flicked his good mandible in a lopsided smile. “Eloquent as always. Do you mind?”

He gestured to the armour he always wore onboard, and rolling her eyes, Shepard shook her head. She didn't quite understand Garrus' constant need to wear it anyway. She'd narrowed it down to either being a turian thing, a remnant of being a vigilante thing, or being on a Cerberus vessel things... possibly a combination of all three, or it could just be a Garrus thing. Shepard wasn't sure but since he'd never said anything about it, she guessed it was none of her business and he'd tell her if he needed to. Though she couldn't help the small pleased smile that formed, upon realising Garrus at least felt comfortable enough around her to just sit in his form fitting undersuit... it was also quite the view.

Shepard had always found Garrus attractive, it didn't matter that they weren't the same species and their people found different qualities attractive. She admired his broad shoulders, powerful legs and strong arms; he looked like he could pick her up with ease, which yes, was quite the turn on when looking for some 'company'. Then there were his gorgeous icy blue eyes, the almost sexy purr his voice had when he was relaxed, there was even the fact she thought his nose was kind of cute which it twitched, which was quite frankly adorable. And though she'd managed to brush aside the other thoughts... she didn't want to make Garrus uncomfortable, and knew he'd be able to scent her arousal if she thought about it too hard... Shepard couldn't not think about how annoyed Garrus would be if he found out she'd thought he was adorable. It would hardly add to the bad-ass vigilante image he'd built for himself, but she couldn't help chuckling.

“Care to share?” he drawled, sitting next to.

“Just happy you're here and that you feel comfortable enough to relax,” she grinned... it was only a small white lie.

“The feeling's mutual,” he replied, before taking a sip of his beer. “I've been meaning to thank you again, for your help with Sidonis. And tell you that whatever happens with the collectors or the reapers or whoever else comes after us, I know you'll get the job done.”

Shepard leant over to grab a beer she'd set on the coffee table. “You actually think we'll find something worse than collectors or reapers?”

Garrus shrugged, his good mandible flaring. “I like to expect the worst. Then there's a small chance I'll be pleasantly surprised.”

“Wow... such an optimist,” she teased.

“No, that's your job Shepard.”

Shaking her head, she toasted him with her beer. “I'm glad you're here. I couldn't do this without you, Garrus.”

“Sure you could. Not as stylishly of course,” he retorted. “It's strange going into a suicide mission on a human ship. Your people don't prepare for high risk operations the way turians do.”

Shepard moved to face him, curling one leg beneath her, and resting her elbow on the back of the couch; her hand propping up her head. She took a swig of beer, mulling over his words before she stated:

“I'd think preparing for a suicide mission would be strange on any vessel. But I thought you'd be used to high-risk missions on human ships. I mean, think about tracking Saren to Ilos.”

“Sure, but that was quick,” Garrus replied, turning to face her. “We raced out, landed, blew up some geth and saved the galaxy. This time we've got Lawson, and Cerberus, and that AI all telling us what we're up against... I think I preferred your blind optimism.”

“Honestly, Garrus... what do you think our chances are?” she asked, genuinely wanting to know.

“Honestly? The collectors killed you once, and all it did was piss you off,” he shrugged, his gaze steady on hers. “I can't image they'll stop you this time. But, an unmapped area, advanced technology, and the collectors? We're going to lose people. No way around that. No a happy analysis, I know. Don't worry. I won't spread it around, and I'm with you, regardless.”

Unable to help herself, Shepard reached out with the hand that had been propping up her head, and squeezed his unoccupied hand. To her surprise, Garrus moved his hand so his talons wrapped around her shorter fingers. It made her smile. Shepard had always been touchy feely in her friendships. People like Nihlus, Wrex, Tali and even Joker had always rolled with it, but it seemed that Garrus had only really started reciprocating since her return.

“Thank you,” she told him, for more than one reason. “But do you ever regret leaving C-Sec or the turian military?”

“Not for a minute,” he assured, quickly. “When it comes down to it, Shepard, I don't think I'm a very good turian. When a good turian hears a bad order, he follows it. He might complain, but he knows his place. I just don't see the point staying quiet and polite. Not when the galaxy's at stake.”

Shepard nodded her agreement. “Nihlus explained some of the differences between human and turian ships, but how do turian crews prepare for high-risk missions?”

“With violence, usually,” Garrus replied, deadpan. “I'm not sure how much Nihlus told you, but turian ships have more operational discipline than your Alliance, though fewer personal restrictions. Our commanders run us tight, but they knew we need to blow off steam. Turian ships have training rooms for exercise, combat sims, even full-contact sparring. Whatever lets people work off stress.”

"You mean turian ships have crewmen fighting each other before a mission?” she asked.

“Why do I get the feeling you like that idea, Shepard?” he chuckled. “The sparring is surpervised, of course. Nobody is going to risk an injury that interferes with a mission. It's a good way to settle grudges amicably.”

“Sounds like you have a few stories to tell,” she grinned, downing the last of her beer.

Garrus gave her a lopsided smile. “I remember right before one mission, we were about to hit a batarian pirate squad. Very risky. This recon scout and I had been at each other's throats. Nerves, mostly. She suggested we settled it in the ring.”

“I assume you took her down gently?”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” he chuckled. “Actually, she and I were the top-ranked hand-to-hand specialists on the ship. I had reach, but she had flexibility. It was brutal. After nine rounds, the judge called it a draw. There were a lot of unhappy betters in the training room.”

“So what happened then?” Shepard smirked.

“We, ah...” Garrus paused to down the rest of his beer. “We ended up holding a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach, but she had flexibility.” His gaze flicked away from her. “More than one way to work off stress, I guess.”

Shepard eyed him for a moment, assessing. Garrus seemed almost nervous, which wasn't like him. He had always been a very dear friend, but there were times she realised she didn't know him as well as she did Wrex or Nihlus. Hell, even Joker. If it were the krogan or her pilot, Shepard would know they were chatting bullshit, trying to coax her into a game of one-upmanship. If it was Nihlus, there'd be no doubt that her Casanova was giving her some sort of come on. With Garrus... she just couldn't tell. But considering everything he'd been through, Shepard was prepared to act on her hunch. Besides, it could go one of two ways. She'd read him right and they hand a night with Garrus like she'd shared with Nihlus, no big deal... though Nih was much more obvious about his interest. Or she'd guessed wrong, feel a bit stupid and play it off as a joke, but there'd be no harm done. Also not a big deal.

“You know, after everything that's happened, I image you're carrying some tension,” she smirked, playfully. “Maybe I could help you get rid of it.”

“I, ah, didn't think you'd feel like sparring, commander,” he said, not quite meeting her eyes.

Shepard couldn't help laughing. “Commander?! You haven't called me that since you left for Spectre training. But any time Hot Shot. If I can take down Wrex, I'll pin you to the mat in no time,” she teased, before shuffling a little closer. “Though what if we skip right to the tiebreaker?”

How she didn't burst out laughing again, when the so called bad-ass turian in front of her seemed to panic, was beyond her. But somehow, Shepard managed to hold it in, though she couldn't help the smirk. He let go of her hand that he'd still been holding almost as if she'd burnt him, his good mandible fluttered in a way Shepard knew meant he was nervous. However, he thankfully didn't move to stand... she'd have felt terrible if she'd completely terrified him after all.

“Oh! I... d-didn't... hmm...”

Garrus paused in his stuttering to collect himself, and finally looked Shepard in the eye. She tried to school her smirk into an actual smile, but knew she probably failed by a long shot. However, she inhaled and exhaled slowly, hoping to show him it wasn't some massive deal. If he liked the idea, great. If he didn't, no big deal. Garrus was her friend and partner, nothing was going to change that either way. However, Shepard did find him attractive, always had. So she let her eyes wander over him as she waited for him to figure out what he wanted to say. It earned her a small twitch of his good mandible, a subtle smile.

“Never knew you had a weakness for men with scars,” he said, his tone only half teasing.

“Only when they're as sexy as you, Hot Shot,” she complimented.

Her words earned her another small smile, and once again, Shepard couldn't help thinking Garrus was adorable. Perhaps not the best thing to think about the man she'd just propositioned, but that didn't stop it from being true... she'd once agreed with Chambers about just wanting to hug the turian in front of her, and that had never changed. She adored Garrus, and whatever his decision, that would never change. Shepard had no idea what turians could actually scent, but she hoped he'd be able to pick up on her genuine affection for him.

“Well, why the hell not?” he said, suddenly, almost to himself.

Garrus leant forward into her personal space, one cautious talon tracing a slow line across her partially exposed collar bone, before his hand cupped her shoulder. He studied her face intently, presumably looking for some sort of answer, and Shepard simply smiled at him warmly. His good mandible twitched into that endearing little smile he'd been giving her, and she gently traced it's edge, running her fingers along his armoured hide. She hadn't expected Garrus to flutter his mandible making it caress her palm, but she couldn't help but be charmed by the gesture.

“There's nobody in the galaxy I respect more than you,” he told her, moving to rest his forehead against hers. “And if we can figure out a way to make it work, then... yeah. Definitely.”

 


	47. Chapter 47

Garrus stared blindly at the console in front of him... again. Since his, ah, talk with Shepard a few days ago, he found that unless he was on a mission, he couldn't keep focused. His mind kept wandering back to that evening Shepard propositioned him, the evening that had been cut short, as EDI had announced Jack needed to speak to the commander about Pragia; their next destination

He was still trying to figure out why on palaven she'd come to him. After all, there was Jacob she could turn to, he was a good looking human... or at least Kasumi seemed to think so. And after Aeia, the pair seemed to be on much friendlier terms. Or if she wanted someone familiar, Shepard had Joker, since Garrus knew the pair were close. Spirits! There was even Nihlus if they swung back to the Citadel, as he knew they'd been intimate before... a fact that meant that out of himself and Shepard, at least one of them knew what the Spirits they were doing.

Honestly, Garrus knew he was _way_ in over his head. He'd meant what he'd said that night, there really was no one her respected more than Shepard, she was everything he'd ever hoped to be, and so much more besides. She was such a good person, such a good friend. He'd been lost without her, cut adrift. He almost thought the Spirits had come to take him to the afterlife, the moment he saw her familiar figure on Omega. But the moment she'd pulled him down to press her forehead to his, Garrus had felt as if something broken had healed inside.

Really, he should have realised then that there was something... different, but he'd been far too focused on Sidonis. He'd been too focused on Tuchanka as well, even with Wrex _and_ Tali both thinking he was either with or after Shepard, but he'd just put it down to them having a bit too much to drink. Besides, Wrex loved to wind up and Tali was a romantic at heart. But then Shepard had helped him take care of Sidonis, and later that night when he'd gone to apologise to her, she'd said she loved him... oh, Garrus knew she was joking, or at the very most, meant it as friends... but he couldn't help the way his heart had leapt at her words. But he quashed the feeling, thinking he was just finally processing having her back and the feelings were getting a little mixed up. Just like his sudden arousal when he'd seen a slither of her attractive waist.

But then she'd gone and propositioned him, and Garrus had practically fallen over his own tongue to say yes, whilst desperately trying to play it cool... He'd realised right there and then that he was in over his head. Shepard was talking about blowing off some steam; which was common among crew mates, and not exactly rare among friends either... but the way Garrus' heart pounded at the affection look she levelled him with, instead of his plates shifting at the thought of such a powerful, respected and desirable woman wanted him, he knew he couldn't lie to himself any longer. He cared about Shepard as more than just a friend and partner, which put him at an impasse. Just what the Spirits was he supposed to _do_ with that information. But before he could even think about it, Garrus heard her distinctive footsteps echo on the metal floor outside the door, moments before it swooshed open.

“Shepard. Need me for something?”

“Got a minute?”

Unable to help himself, Garrus looked around the room in a slight bout of mild panic. Not that he even knew why... well, that was a complete lie. But it wasn't like Shepard wasn't aware what the inside of the Main Battery looked like, and it wasn't like Garrus could actually do anything about it. His tiny corner of the room was neat and tidy, showcasing his organisation and efficiency... not that it mattered, since Shepard wasn't a potential mate he needed to impress. She was his friend, his partner... who he just happened to be contemplating sleeping with. Spirits! He felt like a cadet again. He hurried used his Omni-Tool to shut the door behind her, as well as fry any cameras or bugs that might have crept back into the room.

“Yeah,” he replied, a little nervously. “I've been thinking about what we talked about. Blowing off steam... easing tension. I've never considered cross-species intercourse, and damn! Saying it that way doesn't help. Now I feel dirty and clinical.”

“An interesting mix,” Shepard stated, deadpan.

He huffed a laugh. “I suppose your right.”

“Are you... okay, Garrus?” she asked, concerned.

Unable to help it, he started to pace as he said: “Are we crazy to be even thinking about this? I'm not su...”

He halted his stride and turned to face her, and immediately wished he hadn't. He'd never found humans attractive before, had never thought to look, but Garrus couldn't deny how attractive Shepard looked right them. Her red hair turned to the colour of the setting palaven sun by the orange lighting. Her slender waist accentuated by the high waisted, leather trousers she wore, with a form fitting white top tucked in... a top that was cut to show off the jut off her collar bone, that Garrus may or may not be suddenly dying to run his tongue along. Garrus shook his head at the thought, trying to refocus. He really should have kept pacing.

“Look, Shepard,” he sighed. “I know you can find something a little closer to home.”

“I don't want some _one_ closer to home. I want someone I can trust.”

As she spoke, Shepard crossed the distance between them, her hands with their too many fingers coming to rest against his armoured chest. Garrus' talons flexed with the need to reach out and touch her, but he held himself in check.

“There's Nihlus,” he reminded her. “I know you two...”

“Garrus, I want _you_ ,” Shepard interrupted, gently. “I figure after everything we've been through, we both deserve some stress relief. A night just for us, where we don't have to worry about the weight of the galaxy being on our shoulders... again.”

He flared his good mandible in a small smile. “I can do that. I'll find some music, maybe some questionably sourced alcohol... and do some, ah, research to figure out how this should work.”

Shepard smirked at him, stepping back and planting her hands on her hips. “I don't know if this'll make you feel any better, but you wouldn't be my first turian. So I'm sure we'll be fine.”

“Well... I know about you and Nihlus, it was pretty obvious just before Ilos. To a turian, anyway... and probably Wrex,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “As for us... it'll either be a night to treasure, or a horrible inter-species awkwardness thing. In which case, fighting the collectors will be a welcome distraction. So, you know, a win either way.”

Garrus had expected to get a laugh out of her for that, it was the type of humour Shepard always appreciated. But instead, he got her stepping back into his personal space, that heart-pumping affectionate look in her stunning green eyes again, as she reached up to cup his good mandible with her slightly cool hand.

“You know, Garrus, if you're not comfortable with this, it's okay,” she assured, softly. “I'm not trying to pressure you. If you've changed your mind, I understand.”

Feeling a little braver than before, Garrus risked settling his hands lightly on her hips. His talons flexed, desperate to hold her tighter, pull her closer, but he kept his restraint. He needed to look into her eyes as he told her:

“Shepard, you're about the only friend I've got in this screwed-up galaxy. I'm not going to pretend I've got a fetish for humans... but this isn't about that. It's about us.” He paused to relinquish his hold on one of her hips to cup her cheek. “I've never even considered someone who wasn't turian before, but I want to try this with you. You never have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes... but never uncomfortable.”

“I understand, and thank you, for trusting me with this,” she smiled. “Just let me know when you're ready, no rush... though maybe we should do it before we almost die going through the Omega Four Relay.”

“ _Almost_ die, that's being awfully optimistic,” he teased, finally relaxing a little.

Shepard shrugged, grinning. “You did tell me it was my job.”

Garrus rumbled his agreement, before cautiously resting his head against hers. “I'd wait, if you're okay with it. Disrupt the crew as little as possible... and take that last chance to find some calm before the storm.”

“I don't give a damn what the crew think,” she chuckled. “But I'm happy to wait if that's what you feel more comfortable with.”

“You know me. I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sync.”

Shepard gave him _that_ look... the one the said she thought you were an idiot, but she was just slightly too fond of you to laugh in your face. The one that made her eyes crinkle at the corners, and her smirk turned more into a line of pressed lips as she tried to stop herself laughing at you... he'd seen that look directed Tali on a few occasions, when the quarian got drunk and a little giddy, and even at Nihlus once or twice. Garrus had never been on the receiving end of _that_ look, but then he shut his eyes, letting out a pained groan when he realised what he'd just said.

“Wait. That metaphor just went somewhere horrible.”

“Be warned, if you ever piss me off, I'll tell Joker about it,” she teased, finally stepping away from him. “I'll let you get back to work.”

“Right...” he drawled, watching her go. “Because I'm in a great place to optimise firing algorithms now.”

 


	48. Chapter 48

Shepard sighed as she went to log the data for the newest upgrades she'd found into the Tech Lab's database. The mission on the Alarei had been hard going, and not just because of the geth. Seeing Tali mourn her father had brought back painful memories for Shepard; there wasn't a damn day that went by that she didn't miss her own Dad. She'd always been a daddy's girl, before he was killed in action during the First Contact War, so she could truly understand what Tali was going through. Her heart was heavy, but Shepard still managed a smile for the salarian geneticist when he coughed politely to get her attention.

“Need help with anything, Mordin?” she asked.

“Actually, wanted to talk. Medical matters,” he replied, succinctly. “Aware that mission is dangerous. Different species react differently to stress. Sexual activity normal stress relief for humans and turians. Still recommend caution. Warn of chaffing.”

There was some part of Shepard who thought she should probably be surprised by this... but she really wasn't. She knew her and Garrus had been discreet, but she really couldn't care who knew or what they thought about it all. She imagined there'd have been this sort of talk back on the SR1, if her and Nihlus had discussed the night before Ilos before hand. However, that had been more spare of the moment. Utterly fantastic, but very impromptu. The way she and Garrus were going about things was... different. Shepard had never really been a woman who took her time over these things before. The waiting made it seem like it meant... more, somehow.

“Not my first rodeo, Mordin,” she chuckled. “You're not going to scare me off.”

“Of course. Hormones. Regardless, come see me later. May need analgesic. Chafing,” Mordin reiterated.

“All right, I'll bite,” Shepard grinned. “You have any recommendations... as a doctor?”

The geneticist nodded. “Turians based on dextro-amino acids. Human ingestion of tissue could provoke allergic reactions. Anaphylactic shock possible. So don't, ah, ingest.”

Shepard's smile wanned a little. “I know, as I said, not my first rodeo. But if it makes you feel better, I only have a mild intolerance. Mum got me tested after Dad died... it wasn't the gunshot that killed him, but the allergic reaction to the turian blood that got in the wound. She wouldn't give her consent for me to join the Alliance until I'd taken the rest.”

“Sorry, Shepard. Did not mean to evoke pain memories,” he apologised.

“Not your fault, Mordin. It's just been a tough day,” she assured.

“Sorry to hear that. Not good at sympathy, apparently. But here to talk if you need me,” Mordin stated. “Otherwise, forwarding advice booklet to your quarters. Acknowledge previous experience. But valuable diagrams, positions comfortable for both species, erogenous zone overviews. Can supply oils or ointments to reduce discomfort.”

“Thanks. Really, I appreciate the thought. Besides, it can't hurt to know more or to be prepared. I've never had a problem before, but if you have the ingredients for an ointment, I wouldn't say no,” Shepard smiled.

“Can have it delivered by tonight. Don't worry. Know how to be discreet,” the salarian promised. “Gave EDI electronic relationship aid demonstrations vids to use as necessary.”

Shepard outright laughed at that. “I knew there was a reason I liked you, Mordin. And thanks, I needed that...”

He smiled at her, almost fondly. “Glad to help. Enjoy yourself while possible, Shepard. Will be here, studying cell reproduction. Much simpler. Less alcohol and mood music required.”

“There's nothing worse than mood music,” she agreed, taking her leave.

Somehow, Shepard made it through the CIC and to the elevator without having to endure Chambers' busybody nature... still completely creeped out about the whole 'seeing Garrus' incident. However, she wasn't quite ready for the solitude of her cabin, not with memories of her Dad still so fresh. Instead, she headed to Port Observation and after a friendly smile for Kasumi, Shepard poured herself a double scotch without ice; her Dad's favourite drink. She wasn't entirely surprised when the Japanese thief sidled up and sat on the stool next to her.

“The word is that Garrus _really_ likes you,” Kasumi said, a smile in her voice. “I can never tell with turians.”

“Is that so?” Shepard replied, deadpan.

The thief gave a small hum. “I think you should go for it. A lot of people want to see you two together.”

“Now that _is_ a surprise,” she retorted.

The pair shared a laugh and Kasumi insisted on making Shepard her favourite cocktail: Memory Stealer. It was actually really good, though she actually lost count of the different bottles the thief used in the mix, never mind the actual ingredients. And since she was on duty again at zero six hundred, Shepard insisted on leaving it at one, and bid Kasumi goodnight before she headed towards the Main Battery. She palmed the glowing green lock, and got a moment to admire Garrus' towering figure, before he turned around to acknowledge her.

“Shepard. Need me for something?”

She couldn't help smiling at him. “Have you got a minute?”

His good mandible flicked to return the gesture. “Definitely.”

The moment she stepped into the room fully, Garrus used his Omni-Tool to shut the door and presumably short out any bugs, since Shepard could hear several tiny cracks of static. The to her surprise, he closed the distance between them. His gloved hands travelled up from her wrists, along her forearms left bare by the rolled up sleeves of the hoodie she was wearing, until he cupped her elbows. His eyes searched her face for a moment, before he lowered his forehead to rest against hers.

“You doing okay?” Shepard asked, gently.

“Part of me still thinks we're crazy for even considering... blowing off steam,” Garrus rumbled. “But I want to try it with you. I want a few moments that are just for us, before we throw ourselves into your human hell for the good of the galaxy... again.”

She huffed a small laugh at his assessment of the situation, but just in case he though she was laughing at him, Shepard tilted her head and lightly brushed her lips against his mouth plates. He seemed startled for a moment, his good mandible fluttering in a way that seemed almost nervous, before he stepped closer still, and tentatively slipped around her waist. Shepard was left smiling up at him.

“I want that too, Garrus,” she assured.

This close, Shepard could feel the unexpected purr that rumbled in his chest. However, his mandible still quivered slightly.

“Glad to hear it. I'll do some... uh... more research, and figure out how to... you know.”

Unable to help it, Shepard chuckled, though valiently bit her lip to stop it growing into a full blown laugh. It was obvious Garrus was nervous as hell... which was turning him into an utterly adorable dork... and she didn't want to hurt his feelings or wound his pride.

“Okay, that sounded bad,” he acknowledged, sounding defeated.

Shepard chuckled again, but softened it by giving him another light kiss. “It wasn't your best line, Hot Shot. But you know, you don't need to be doing all this 'research' on your own. We're partners, remember?”

It was Garrus' turn to chuckle, though a little ruefully. “I appreciate that, but this is something I need to do.”

“Alright, just come talk to me if you needed to, okay?”

He leant down to press his forehead to hers again. “I promise.”

 


	49. Chapter 49

Garrus drummed his talons against the console in front of him, but his mind had barely registered the calibrations he'd been stooped over for the past few hours. His thoughts were on Shepard... well, that wasn't entirely accurate. Garrus' thoughts were on Shepard _and_ Thane; the latest addition to the crew. The drell was an assassin, but that wasn't Garrus' issue. He'd seen first hand that Thane would go to almost the same lengths he would to keep Shepard safe... that was the issue.

In just the few short weeks the drell had been onboard, he and Shepard had grown close. Oh, Garrus knew the commander always took time to check up on her crew; even stopping to talk with the Cerberus members, but she spent a lot of free time with Thane. Often in the Life Support Plant where the drell had set up his cot, but also in the Mess. He'd heard them discussing everything from SMG mods to philosophy; the latter making him feel like an uncultured lout.

He'd seen the way Shepard would smile softly whenever the assassin called her: “Siha”... whatever that meant. He'd seen how Thane would smile appreciatively, whenever Shepard would squeeze his shoulder in passing. He'd seen the drell show Shepard how to make the tea he drank, and how the commander would also make time whenever Thane would politely as: “May I have a moment, Siha.”

It was driving Garrus mad. Sure, he'd agreed to blow off steam with Shepard... had even been looking forward to it, despite his nerves and the fact Mordin seemed determined to make him die from embarrassment. But watching her with Thane, Garrus could deny it to himself any longer... he wanted to be more than a one night stand to her. He wanted it to be more than blowing off steam. He needed to confront Shepard. And of course the minute he thought that, she chose that moment to stroll into the Main Battery.

“Hey Hot Shot, you got a minute?” she asked, grinning.

Unable to help it, Garrus looked around nervously, wondering if there was a way to stall her. But when nothing sprung to mind, he realised it was now or never. He had to say something to her. There was no one he respected more than Shepard. Spirits! He adored the woman. But Garrus won't make himself a fool, even for her. So he locked the door like always, and tapped the programme on his Omni-Tool to fry the bugs, granting them privacy.

“Yeah, I've been thinking about what we talked about,” he said, unable to meet her emerald eyes. “You know I've never considered a cross-species...uh... liaison before, and you know I want to try it with you. But I don't want to jeapodise the mission with some stupid love triangle.”

Garrus chanced looking at Shepard, and found her starring at him, utterly confused. He swallowed thickly, feeling a blue blush crawling up his neck. It seemed she wasn't going to make this easy for him.

“Look, Shepard. I know you've got other options,” he began.

“And I told you, it's you I want Garrus,” she interrupted, gently.

“But you and Thane...”

Shepard's sudden chuckle _hurt_. His good mandible twitched in agitation, indignation mixing with the upset as she laughed at him. But then she was giving him that brilliant smile of hers, both her hands coming up to cradle his face, the touch on his injured mandible was soft and attentive; her cool finger tips tracing around the pressure bandage.

"Thane's mourning his wife,” Shepard explained, sadly. “He's quickly become a dear friend, but nothing more. There isn't going to be a love triangle. There's no one else. I chose you, Garrus.”

“That's... ah... not what I expected to hear,” Garrus told her, truthfully. “Not that I'm complaining.”

Shepard stepped closer to him, her hands trailing down from his mandibles and flushed neck, too many fingers dancing around the rim of his cowl, until her palms rested on his keel. His good mandible flared into a hesitant smile as she looked up at him, though there was something assessing in her gaze.

“I get the feeling this is more than blowing off steam,” she said, kindly.

“That obvious?” he sighed. “Look, Shepard. I know it's just stress release for you...”

“And what if I care about you to?” she interjected.

Garrus could do nothing but stare at her for a moment, good mandible twitching in astonishment. For a split second, he debated asking who put her up that joke. But he knew Shepard wasn't like that. She wouldn't toy with him like that. So he tentatively rested his hands on the swell of her hips, and leant down to rest his forehead against hers.

“You... ah.... hmm... _that_ definitely wasn't what I expected,” he admitted, softly. “But Spirits! You've made me one happy turian.”

 


	50. Chapter 50

It was late into the night cycle, EDI was steering the Normandy towards the Phoenix Massing Cluster whilst Joker and the rest of the crew slept, and Shepard was stalking the corridors of her ship in just her sleep shorts and a loose tank top. Her bare feet padded across the metal floor into the galley, where she began to carefully rummage through the cupboards. Thane had been kind enough to show her how to brew various teas, and gave her leave to use his supplies whenever she had need. So considering it was zero three hundred, and Shepard still hadn't managed a wink of sleep, she figured the drell's sleep inducing blend might be the remedy... it certainly couldn't hurt. After what she'd seen that evening, Shepard needed all the help she could get.

So quietly, she pottered around the galley, debating if she should make herself a snack whilst she let the tea steep. But when there was a hiss of hydrolics, followed by the gentle whoops of a door opening, curiosity stole her appetite. Shepard leant the kitchen cabinet, and offered Garrus a tired smile when his eyes sleepily focused on her.

“You're up late,” he rumbled, his voice low.

“Could say the same for you,” she teased, whispering.

“Just needed some water. What about you?”

As Garrus rounded the cabinet into the galley, Shepard hopped up onto the counter top to let him passed in the tight space. Two humans might just be able to work comfortable in the galley, but a human and a turian was never going to work. Despite his question, she silently watched him rummage in the cooler, unsurprised when he fished out two bottles instead of one; handing the second to her. Shepard smiled her thanks before gesturing to her cup of tea.

“Couldn't sleep, hoping this will help.”

Garrus sniffed the hot liquid curiously, though when his nose twitched afterwards, Shepard had the impression he'd be wrinkling it if he were human. It was cute.

“I'll take your word on it,” he quipped, quietly. “But what's keeping the illustrious Commander Shepard awake?”

“Honestly? Samara,” she sighed. “She's a marvel.”

“Coming from you, that's high praise indeed,” he replied, his good mandible flaring into a small smile.

Shepard shook her head. “She killed her own daughter today, Garrus. I hope I never have to have that kind of strength.”

She winced the moment she realised what she said. She wasn't in the habit of revealing other's personal business, even to Garrus. He only knew things like Jack's passed, Jacob's dad or Zaeed's vendetta because he'd been part of the team during the missions. Shepard hadn't told him about Thane's son or Kasumi's lover because she valued her crew's... her friends' trust in her. She felt terrible letting Samara's secret slip, but then she heard a quite rumble on the very edge of her hearing. She knew it was Garrus, probably his sub-harmonics trying to comfort her. When she glanced at him, his eyes were full on kindness and understanding.

“I won't say anything,” he promised, before adding: “But come on, you can bring your concoction with you.”

Chuckling softly, Shepard followed Garrus into the Main Battery. She leant against the wall, quietly sipping her tea, as she watched him fuss over the alcove he'd created for himself as a sleeping area. She heard the rustle of fabric, then pillows being fluffed. Shepard wasn't exactly sure what Garrus was up, but it was obviously important to him. However, she'd finished her cup of herbal tea, and stifled several yawns before he was finished.

When he stood back, Shepard couldn't help smiling at him warmly, and set her empty cup on a nearby crate before she closed the distance between then. Garrus had practically created a nest with the throws and pillows. Though maybe den was a slightly better word. Either way, it looked inviting; especially when Garrus chose to perch on the edge and held out a hand to her.

"Stay here for a little while,” he suggested, kindly. “The consol is set to alert me to routine maintenance, the next is at zero six thirty. So you'll be gone before the crew notice.”

Shepard thought about snapping off a witty one liner about getting her into bed, but couldn't. Garrus looked so open and hopeful, that she just couldn't do that to him. Shepard _knew_ Garrus. He was offering her comfort and companionship without looking for anything in return, and she'd be a fool not to accept. So she easily accepted his outstretched hand, and planted a light kiss on his good mandible the moment she stepped closer to him.

She gave him an affectionate smile, before saying: “I'd love to.”

 


	51. Chapter 51

Jeff shuffled as quietly as he could across the CIC. It wasn't that he was trying to sneak up on Shepard... which would be pointless, since she'd surely heard the elevator... but this late into the night cycle, it seemed wrong to be anything else but quiet.

He'd been worried about Shepard when he headed for his bunk for the night, since she was still pouring over the terminal and the galaxy map. But he understood she had to do it to keep the nightmares are bay; they never spoke about it, but he could tell by the shadows under her eyes if Shepard was having trouble sleeping. After all, he saw the same look on his face nearly every morning too. He was plagued by nightmares just as she was, and that night was no exception.

So when Jeff had gotten fed up enough to just give up on sleep, he'd limped his way to the galley, quietly asking EDI if Shepard was still up. It came as no surprise that she was, so he decided to do something nice for her. Of course, he could have brewed them that tea he knew Thane had taught Shepard how to create... it smelt good, but Jeff had no idea how to make it. There was also that green stuff Kasumi drank, but he personally couldn't stand the stuff. So Jeff settled on coffee. It wasn't like the caffeine mattered anyway, since it wasn't likely that either of them were going to sleep.

Not having crutches made carrying the two steaming mugs an actual possibility, but Jeff was still careful when he boarded the elevator, and again when he stepped out on the CIC. Shepard was sat cross legged on the platform over looking the galaxy map, and the only indication she'd really moved, was the fact she'd changed from her modified uniform... Cerberus patches all removed... to a sweatshirt he'd actually been looking for for the past week, and a pair of grey shorts. Her auburn hair was an unruly mess, hinting he'd probably tried to sleep at some point, but had obviously had as much success as he had.

“Hey handsome, you're up late,” she greeted without looking up.

“Garrus gets Hot Shot, Nihlus got Casanova, Wrex got Big Guy and all you can think for me is handsome? Not very original, Shep,” he teased.

Shepard glanced over her shoulder, her green eyes went comically wide when she spotted the mugs, and in an instant was kneeling so she could take them off his hands. Jeff smiled at her gratefully, before turning his head to hide a wince as he settled himself on the step of the platform; the Cerberus upgrades had helped his Vrolic's Syndrome, not cured it. He was probably going to pay for not shuffling off to his pilot's chair, though he always tried to hide it, especially around Shepard. She had enough to deal with, without worrying about him. But of course, when Jeff turned back to get his mug from her, he found Shepard giving him a knowing look. Thankfully, all she said was:

“The great and powerful bearded one is a little long winded, don't you think?”

“I'll give you that,” he conceded. “So...”

He was going to ask if she wanted to talk about what was keeping her... them... awake. He wasn't the best person at feelings, but he cared about Shepard and wanted her to know he was there if she needed. But then Jeff noticed the frightened look in her eyes, as if she was terrified he was about to talk about the white elephant in the room. He realised that she was just as reluctant to face her night time demons as he was.

“What did you do to piss of Miranda this time?” he asked instead, nodding towards the galaxy map.

“I think she's still mad about the whole siding with Jack thing,” Shepard grinned. “But actually this is personal choice. Jacob gave some good recommendations for upgrades to the ship, and I wanted to try out the probe enhancement Thane suggested. We also need a few more resources before we can finalise adding the Thanix Canon Garrus suggested.”

“Want some company?” he asked, already making himself as comfortable as possible.

“If you want, or we could go to the cockpit and find some badly acted porn to laugh at,” she teased.

“You know, when I imagined finding a woman who'd watch porn with me, I always imagined it'd be a hot girlfriend, not my crazy best friend.”

Shepard gave him her best maniacal grin as she stood to offer him a hand up. Shaking his head, Jeff let her pull him to his feet, and didn't comment when she linked her arm through his. From anyone else, it would have still felt like they were 'helping the cripple'. From Shepard, it felt like some strange hug... her dipping her head to lean on his shoulder for a minute probably helped.

 


	52. Chapter 52

Garrus couldn't help thinking that Shepard didn't need any more encounters with prothean relics. Surely, she'd dealt with enough during their hunt for Saren. Though 'dealt with' might have been too strong a term... assault by might be more accurate. The last time they'd encountered a floating sphere had been on Eletania, and it was a small miracle that Shepard managed to walk away from that, after she'd dropped almost lifeless to the ground. However, at least the one on Kopis hadn't knocked her out cold, which had seriously been a running theme two years ago.

But that still didn't make it safe, and Garrus wasn't convinced that Shepard's coffee table was the best place for the relic... the relic that had shrunk itself from a giant globe to a small sphere that spun in it's own orbit. The thing was damn creepy if you asked him, which unfortunately Shepard wasn't

However, even though he cared for her, and they had more or less admitted their planned night together was more than blowing off steam, it wasn't Garrus' place to criticise Shepard's choice of room décor. So he settled on eyeing the sphere warily, when he came to check on her after the mission.

“It's not going to bite you,” Shepard chuckled.

Garrus gave her a pointed look. “I know you're more or less the resident prothean expert here, but I saw you get knocked out one too many times by these things to take your word for it.”

“Grumpy guts,” she grinned, handing him a beer. “Come on... it's not like it's a screaming husk head or something. It's just a prothean relic.”

“ _Just_ a prothean relic?” he asked, incredulously.

Shepard huff, rolling her eyes. “Calm down, Hot Shot. I'm giving it to Anderson so he can hand it over to the relevant teams the next time we stop at the Citadel. So stop worrying.”

His good mandible fluttered nervously, before he admitted: “I'll always worry about you.”

Her gaze softened, and she pressed her forehead to his. “You know I feel the same. But honestly, the relic is harmless. If it was going to do anything, it would have probably got me before we got back in the Hammerhead.”

Garrus couldn't help the worried trill that rippled through his sub-harmonics. “Probably isn't exactly reassuring, Shepard.”

The Spirits-damned woman actually laughed. “You're cute when you're worried, you know that?”

All Garrus could do was stare at Shepard in disbelief. No wonder the reapers took a person interest in her... she was a bloody menace.

 


	53. Chapter 53

The moment the doors of the Main Battery close behind her, the tears Shepard had been holding since Aite slip silently down her cheeks. Damn Cerberus! Damn the Illusive Man! Just when she thought she couldn't hate them more, something like Project Overlord comes along and smacks her in the face.

Almost blinded by her tears, Shepard half stumbled to the cot... the nest Garrus had set up for them. It's still like it was after Morinth, a comforting mound of blankets and pillows, and she lets herself sink into the soft embrace. She can smell her turian on the bedding, and she buries her nose into the fabric to inhale the calming scent.

Shepard had hoped to find him in there, since he hardly left the bloody place. She couldn't stand to be alone in her cabin. But for once, Garrus wasn't at his workstation, so she was left to curl up in his bed alone but comforted by all the signs he made the small room his home. The mission had been brutal; mentally more than physically, and Shepard needed all the reasurring she could get.

Her mind was in turmoil.

Hermes station with it's stupid collapsing satellite dish. Vulcan station with it's stupid lava. Prometheus station with it's stupid geth. And the Atlas station... Shepard still wasn't sure how she felt about her body being taken over, via the implants that had brought her back from the dead. The funny thing was, she didn't feel violated by the experience, despite Chambers' insistence that she must have felt that way. Oh, she'd already asked Kasmui, Tali and Mordin to try think of ideas she could protect herself with, so it couldn't happen again. But if she had to find out it was a possibility, at least it was for a good cause.

Because rescuing David Archer from his _own brother_ and the clutches of Cerberus, was worth the nightmares and soul search that were definitely going to resurface. Shepard understood everything that had happened on Aite was just the poor man's desperate attempt to escape. Controlling her through her implants was his frantic last attempt to get help. He'd shared his memories with her, begged her to help, guided her to where he was being held.

She'd felt honoured David had trusted her enough to reassure him, when Doctor Chakwas and Mordin came to free him. And again when she sat by his bedside in the Med Bay, his hand tightly clasped in hers as she read to him quietly. They had stayed like that the entire journey to Grissom Academy, and he'd only agreed to stay at the facility when Shepard introduced Kahlee as her aunt; even if her and Uncle David were no longer together.

But none of that stopped Shepard having an identity crisis about being a cyborg zombie. Nor did it stop her grief at human depravity, the moment she could finally be off duty... if even for a little while. However, she found that being only in her cabin gave her mind too much time to think, so she'd gone in search of Garrus. The fact he wasn't at his usual station was jarring, but the comfort their nest of blankets provided and the scent of him surrounding her was soothing, and Shepard eventually drifted to sleep.

* * *

After returning from getting his cybernetics checked by Chakwas... because he could hardly 'encourage' Shepard if hadn't already done it himself... Garrus hadn't expected the woman in question to be asleep in his cot. He couldn't help the protective rumble that entered his sub-harmonics as he crept closer, and carefully cocooned her further in their blanket nest.

With a gentle talon, he attentively brushed a few errant strands of hair from her face. Despite whatever reason had brought her to his bed, Garrus had never seen Shepard look so peaceful as she did whilst asleep, and he couldn't help snapping a quick holo with his visor.

Shaking his head at his own sentimentality, Garrus retrieved a datapad before grabbing an unused cushion and sat on the floor in front of the cot. Guarding her. Shepard had obviously come down to his sorry excuse for quarters for a reason, and he couldn't shake the feeling she'd come seeking comfort. _The_ illustrious Commander Shepard wanting solace from a failed turian like himself. Garrus shook his head again, almost in disbelief. The situation was almost laughable, but he was damn well sure he was going to be there when she woke up. He'd always be there if she needed him.

 


	54. Chapter 54

Garrus wasn't sure if he wanted to throttle Shepard or hug her. He'd been thinking that throughout their journey through the derelict reaper, because it felt like his heart stopped every time she biotically Charged an enemy. He honestly didn't know how Nihlus coped being Shepard's partner. But then again, he hadn't been on ground missions with her, so perhaps it was easier to deal with when you couldn't see it.

He'd vehemently wished Shepard had brought along Samara or Thane as the third party member, they were nice and calm, stable even. But no, she'd had to bring Jack with them, and the two powerful biotics practically bounced of each other on the battlefield. Spirits! Garrus would never doubt Shepard's ability and prowess as a leader, a soldier, a tactician or a biotic. But he just didn't understand why she felt the need to hurl herself at their enemies... wasn't making bets with Jack about who could toss their luckless foes farther enough?

And if that hadn't been enough, Shepard had not only been adamant about retrieving that Spirits-damned geth they'd encountered, but then insisted on reactivating it. He'd growled loudly when Jacob of all people had notified him, and had angrily paced outside the AI core whilst Shepard 'spoke' to the thing.

His sub-harmonics had run loudly in relief when she'd exited unharmed, even smiling. But he very nearly growled at her, when she announced their new team mate. 'Legion'... as if giving it a name made it more hospitable. Garrus thought Shepard was crazy and told her so, in front of Chakwas which perhaps wasn't the best thing to do; questioning superiors and acting above his station. But instead of kicking as ass... or worse, cancelling their arrangement... Shepard had just looked him square in the eye and asked him to trust her. Which he did. Implicitly. So he conceded, but didn't apologise. After all, Shepard had no sense of self preservation.

Which was why the entire ground team was crammed into a single shuttle on the way to a 'heretic' geth ship. Okay, perhaps that wasn't fair. Shepard was to blame for the geth and their destination. Lawson was the reason they were stuffed like minnows... or whatever that human saying was. The operative had been over zealous, as usual and had acted above her station, as usual. She'd ordered everyone to the shuttle before Shepard had even had a chance to divulge what the mission was, meaning at least half the team were unusable thanks to a lack of tech. knowledge.

It was a gross oversight on Lawson's part in Garrus' opinion, and no matter what the woman liked to think, it proved she wasn't leadership material. She could shout, demand and micro manage all she wanted, but the more she did, the more it was evident she wasn't equipped to be a leader. She certainly didn't have people skills, like Shepard or even Jacob did... since the latter was helping the former try and keep everyone calm.

Honestly, the tension in the shuttle was getting ridiculous. So whilst Jacob tried to keep Zaeed away from Samara, and Shepard was convincing Jack not to turn Lawson into paste, Garrus put himself between Tali and Legion to try head that one off before it started. It was going to be a long day, and he certainly didn't every Jacob who was going to be unlucky enough to be left on the shuttle whilst he and Shepard went to help the geth. Garrus didn't envy him in the slightest.

 


	55. Chapter 55

Jeff let out a shaky breath as he sat back in the pilot's chair. He'd already dosed himself with Medigel to try control the pain in his legs... and arms... and hips... and back. Shit! Who was he kidding, his whole body was in agony from hurrying around the ship as quick as he could, climbing ladders and crawling through ducts. He was under no illusion that he probably had a dozen hairline fractures, since the Cerberus upgrades only _helped_ his condition. They hadn't cured his Vrolick's Syndrome. But at least he hadn't broken anything to the point that it was immovable. Which meant he was at least still usefully; a far cry from how he felt when other members of the crew had been taken whilst trying to protect him.

Fuck! He really didn't need another shit tonne of survivors guilt... he'd barely worked through what he felt after getting Shepard spaced.

He didn't realise he was crying until he felt gently hands cup his face, thumbs wiping away the tears. He hadn't even heard anyone come into the cockpit, so he jumped slightly, the flinch causing him to hit his shoulder painfully against the back of the chair. Jeff cursed vividly, before opting to glare at the person who'd startled him. He was kind of surprised to find Shepard kneeling in front of him. Because seriously, he couldn't be the only one thinking about two years ago.

Shepard had every right to be mad, and he'd been bracing himself for when she inevitably stated shouting at him. Or worse, gave him one of her calm 'I'm disappointed' lectures. But all he'd gotten so far was a careful pat of the shoulder, the honour of having her shout down Miranda on his behalf, and now this... Shepard knelt on the floor by his chair, a look of worry and understanding clear in her green eyes, before she rose to perch on the chair arm.

The moment she was close enough, Jeff couldn't help wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head against her side, just as she draped her arms loosely around his shoulders. They stayed like that for a number of minutes in a hushed silence, until Shepard whispered:

“Set a course for the Omega Four. We'll bring our people home.”

 


	56. Chapter 56

Before the collectors had attacked the Normandy's, Garrus had close to terrified about the 'agreement' he had with Shepard. He was worried about it being a disaster, of not pleasing her, of accidentally hurting her, of it ruining their friendship, of her not finding him attractive... he knew Shepard had been with at least one other turian, so at least she knew what to expect in general. But though Nihlus also hadn't been in peek physical condition, his face and half of his torso wasn't a mess of scars and burns like Garrus' was. Petty and vain he knew, but Garrus couldn't help being self-conscious about them.

But then the crew were gone, leaving only Joker and the people who made up the commander's squad, and Garrus had never been more scared in his life. There was a real possibility that he could have lost Shepard again; since it was only luck that had the collectors attacking when they weren't actually onboard.

After that, worrying about his appearance and whether she'd find him attractive once they were naked seemed trivial. He already knew their agreement wasn't just blowing off steam, he cared for her, and it was an opportunity to connect with her intimately. To affirm they were alive, even if they were heading towards a possible suicide mission. And with the fear of how close he'd come to losing her again, Garrus knew he had to go to Shepard that night. So he asked EDI to notify him as soon as she was back in her cabin.

However, he was still concerned about not pleasing her, despite reading every article he could find... never mind the material Mordin had sent him, and Spirits help him, the porn Joker had sent; which hadn't been as awful as Garrus had initially worried. But none of it had helped him feel prepared, so he did the only thing he could think of... he called Nihlus.

The smug bastard had been all sombre at first, explaining that Shepard had already contacted him and Anderson. But soon enough, Nihlus was grinning all too knowingly, ribbing him about it being more than blowing off steam. When Garrus had eventually admitted that yes, it was more than stress relief... at least for him, Nihlus' demeanour changed again. Garrus could understand then why the two Spectres had been so close, his fellow turian had much of the same 'I'll do everything I can to help' attitude as Shepard did. The conversation wasn't nearly as awkward as he initially imagined it would be, and when he disconnected the call, Garrus was feeling somewhat prepared.

Though his heart still hammered in his chest when EDI notified him that Shepard was on her way to her cabin. Trying to act as normal as possible, Garrus grabbed a shower, applied a fresh pressure bandage over the ugly scars on his face, changed into the nicest set of civvies he managed to find on their last trip to the Citadel, and grabbed the bottle of dual chirality wine he'd picked up on Illium. He took a steadying breath before he walked out of the Main Battery. It was now or never.

 


	57. Chapter 57

When she'd gone up to her cabin, intent to wash off the last mission and prepare for the Omgea Four Relay, Shepard hadn't been thinking of anything passed putting her armour in the cleaning unit and grabbing a shower herself. But when EDI had 'subtly' let her know Garrus had asked for her, she paused. In her anger over the collectors attacked their home and concern for Joker, she'd almost forgotten the arrangement she had with her partner. For a moment, she debated calling off, doubting she'd be the best company. But they were already heading for the relay, there was a very real possibility that they wouldn't get another chance.

Shepard shook her head, she wasn't a woman who liked to live with regrets, and she refused to let the collectors steal anything more from her. So she grabbed a pair of jeans that hugged her hips and a blue, sweetheart neck top that showed off her collarbones... weird turians... and would give Garrus a flash of her waist when she moved. Confident in her choice, she went to shower; eternally thankful that it had a dryer function _and_ that asari had created semi-permanent make up, which meant she had one thing less to worry about.

At the last moment, Shepard spared a quick look in the mirror and ran a hand through her cropped auburn hair, that had barely grown since her resurrection. She knew she was faffing, as the thrill of anticipation settled in her stomach, but she liked the sexy mussed up look. Almost subconsciously, her fingers grazed just below the hollow of her throat, where her dogtags always rested. Even after all these months, it still felt weird not to have their comforting weight. Not that it mattered, when EDI made a quiet beep, that let Shepard knew the AI had admitted Garrus into her cabin.

She found him staring into her fish tank, the light of his visor reflecting off the glass. She couldn't help the soft chuckle that escaped her, amused that he kept his visor on despite what they had planned. But at least he wasn't in his armour for a change, which was a real first. Shepard wasn't exactly sure it was an improvement, the bright blue wasn't that much of a surprise, but she wasn't convinced about the sage green and mustered yellow that made up the rest of the material. Still, it let her appreciate Garrus' broad shoulders and strong thighs, in a way she couldn't when he was in armour... and it wasn't like she intended to let him keep his clothes on for long.

At that sound of her chuckle, Garrus spud to face her. His good mandible quivering slightly as he looked her up and down. Shepard gave him an easy smile, cocking her hip to the side and settling a hand on it to bring attention to her toned waist. She watched as his gaze was immediately drawn to her movements, and his mandible quivered again, before his eyes snapped up to meet hers. After a moment's hesitation, Garrus lifted a white opaque bottle up for her inspection.

“Hey. I brought wine, best I could afford on a vigilante's salary.” he said in greeting.

A small smirk tugged at the corner of Shepard's mouth as she accepted the bottle, wondering if she actually had any wine glasses up in her cabin... whiskey and shot glasses were a certain, she wasn't so convinced about wine though. However, before she could even think to go looking, Garrus hurried over to the audio pad that was set into her wall. He keyed in some quick commands, obviously linking her system to presumably his visor, and some damn all club track began to play. It sounded vaguely familiar, similar to the stuff that used to play in Flux and Chora's Den. Shepard couldn't help shaking her head as she set the wine bottle on her desk, her mind drifting back to Mordin's 'mood music' comment.

She actually felt like laughing, because evidently turians had _very_ different views on setting the scene than humans. But she managed to reign it in just as Garrus opened his arms wide, almost posturing as he walked back towards the fish tank... she figured it _must_ be a turian thing. One she'd missed previously, and considering her only sober turian encountered had been Nihlus, and their situation certainly hadn't been typical, Shepard wouldn't be surprised. Silently, she promised herself to ask her old partner about it if they got through the suicide run, since she didn't want to ruin whatever moment her and Garrus were having. She knew he'd been worried about cross-species awkwardness, and Shepard would be damned if she added to the nerves she suspected he felt.

Instead, she opted to close the distance between them. A smirk was still firmly on her lips, but that was her default expression by now, so it hopefully wouldn't ruin Garrus' mood. Just to be sure, Shepard put an exaggerated sway into her walk as she moved closer to him, knowing she was flashing her waist with every step. If the way his eyes tracked her movements and his mandible twitched, she was pretty confident it had the desired affect.

“If you were turian, I'd be complimenting your waist or your fringe. So... your, uh, hair looks good. And your waist it... very supportive,” Garrus stated.

He sounded a little nervous, but his voice still dropped to a deep rumble on the last two words, so despite the hesitant compliments, Shepard at least knew he was generally interested.

“Hopefully that's not offensive in human culture,” he continued, worriedly. “Crap! I knew I...”

Unable to help herself, another chuckle escaped. But she smiled at him warmly, hoping to less any sting it might have caused. She wasn't laughing _at_ Garrus, but she'd never imagined she'd see him so flustered. And considering turians as a whole, she certainly never thought he be so nervous about sex. On impulse, Shepard pushed herself up on her toes to be able to plant a kiss on his good mandible, before she took a moment to change the music to something more fitting; soft guitar music filled her cabin, and EDI instinctively dimmed the lights without being instructed. This time it was Garrus who huffed out a small laugh, as he took in the new ambience.

“I might need to start calling you smooth talker, Hot Shot,” she teased, gently. “But honestly, stop worrying.”

As she spoke, Shepard took hold of his talons in and grabbed the wine in her free hand, before leading Garrus down the short set of steps to the seating area. Setting the bottle on the coffee table, she didn't bother looking for the glasses as she ushered him to sit. There was something so shockingly vulnerable in his eyes as he looked down at their joined hands, then back up to meet her gaze, that Shepard didn't dare move away. The nerves and uncertainty clearly crossed species boundaries, but so did the hope she could see in his unguarded eyes. She didn't want to risk Garrus thinking she was rejecting him, so she sat close, her knee brushing his thigh as she angeled her body to be able to look at him.

“I've just... I've seen so many things go wrong, Shepard,” he practically whispered. “My work with C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis... I want something to go right. Just once. Just...”

With the hand not holding his, Shepard reached up to cradle his injured mandible gently in the palm of her hand. She'd never felt fear like she had the day he'd been hit by that rocket... trying to save Joker came close, but not quite. Garrus was so damn important to her, so damn special. And here he was, practically confessing his insecurities. The fact he trusted her enough to share them left Shepard a little breathless, as she knew turians placed trust above love when it came to any part of their lives. Shepard swallowed a little thickly as she rested her forehead against his.

“This is _us_ you're talking about, Garrus,” she smiled, tenderly. “How could it be anything else.”

His breath ghosted over her face as he gave a huff of laughter, his free hand tentatively coming up to caress her shoulder and arm that had been left bare by her top. Then, the Shepard's surprise, his tongue suddenly flicked teasingly across her lips causing her to grin. He'd obviously done some sort of 'research', and she pressed her lips to his mouth plates letting him know she understood.

“No Vakarian without Shepard,” he said, gently.

She shook her head, still smiling. “You mean no Shepard without Vakarian.”

“I like the sound of that,” Garrus practically purred, before becoming more serious. “Shepard, you know I respect you as my commander, as well as my friend and... whatever this is, but...”

“But?” she prompted, gently.

“Don't leave me off your squad when we get to the collector base. I _need_ to be on your six,” he almost growled.

The admission made her breath catch in her throat as she let his words sink in, but she rested her forehead back against his as she cradled his face in both of her hands. She studied his eyes, finding the same intensity in them as she had when Nihlus handed her his rifle just before Ilos... if not more. Definitely a turian thing, but Shepard couldn't help being humbled by the care Garrus felt for her. Without really thinking, she moved to straddle his thighs, and his hands automatically found her hips, his talons tensing slightly as he waited for her reply.

Shepard smiled at him softly. “I promise.”


	58. Chapter 58

The bland wine sat half empty on the coffee table, their glasses discarded along with it and their clothes strewn across the floor between the sofa and Shepard's large bed. Garrus' heart hammered in his chest as he looked at her, confidently laying back on her bed, as his gaze raked over her body. Despite her alieness, Shepard was an beautiful woman, and though he knew there were certain parts considered attractive to her race, Garrus had his own favourite parts to admire. Her slender yet defined waist, her strong thighs and calfs, the jut of her hip and collar bone, the column of her throat.

Garrus knew he was nothing compared to her, and had hesitated when removing his top. He still couldn't believe there had been no disgust or revulsion on Shepard's face, when he'd left himself exposed for her inspection. Instead, she'd gently caressed and kissed the ruin side of his body, from the bandage on his mandible to the scars and burns on his torso. His breath had stuttered at each soft press of her lips or careful stroke of her fingers, and he realised with a start that it was much more than blowing off steam for Shepard too.

But at that moment, the revelation and his own self-doubt faded to the back of his mind. Standing at the foot of her bed, Garrus' eyes eagerly watched as Shepard's hand traced a path down her chest, across her abdomen to the apex of her thighs. A low growl reverberated in the back of his throat.

“Show me.”

His voice was lower and rougher than he'd ever heard it, and his sub-harmonics were thrumming with all the things he daren't tell Shepard in a language she could understand. She smiled at him, reaching with her unoccupied hand for him as he crawled on the bed beside her. The moment he was in reach, that had moved to curl around his shoulders and began to expertly massage the bundle of nerves under his fringe. At the same time, her clever tongue carefully licked along his ruined mandible, the feelings almost an overload to his damaged nerves, and he actually groaned when she gently sucked the tip into her hot mouth.

It was too much, and Garrus was forced to pull away slightly, growling playfully as he pressed his forehead to hers. Shepard grinned, despite stopping her own pleasure in order to guide his talons on how to touch her. She side at his efforts, but then Garrus remembered something Nihlus had told him. So carefully, without stopping teasing her, he shifted to rest sit between her legs. Her vivid green eyes hungrily watched as he swirled his tongue around a talon of his free hand, before the most amazing moan escaped her distracting lips as he slowly slid his digit inside of her. Oh, how he wished he was confident enough to use his tongue like Nihlus had advised, but Garrus was just a little too wary about allergic reactions to try. However, if the way her thighs quivered and she arched off the bed, obviously moving so he hit exactly where she wanted, Garrus didn't think Shepard minded too much. And when he moved his talon just as he'd been told, her reaction left very little doubt.

He chuckled softly, immensely proud he'd managed to reduce Shepard to a boneless mess, but he should have known his victory would only last so long. Because even as he discretely wiped his talons on the sheet, Garrus could feel Shepard's clever fingers gently kneading his waist. The groan that escaped him was practically obscene, but from her hum of approval, he figured he didn't need to be embarrassed by his reaction. Spirits! It had been so long since he'd been with anyone, but knowing it was Shepard touching him, kissing, licking, caressing...

Garrus let out a groan-come-growl as her hand travelled from his sensitive waist to the seam of his shifting plates, her too many but utterly wonderful fingers coaxing him out, before she began to teasingly stroke the length of him. Her hand was warm and her touch skilful, but he needed to grab her wrist far sooner than he'd have liked to. Shepard just grinned at him knowingly, winking before she leant almost _backwards_ off the bed to grab her trouser, fishing a small foil packet from one of the pockets.

The surge of _want_ that rippled through him at her feat of flexibility had Garrus warping his arms around her, as he licked up her toned abdomen, pulling her up to face him as his tongue travelled higher. Curling around the underside of one breast then the other, before gliding up her sternum so he could pause to nibble at her collarbone with his mouth plates. Once he'd elicited a giggle from her, he continued to lathe up her neck before playfully nipping her funny little ear. However, Garrus' victory was short lived when Shepard moved to ravish his unplated neck, leaving teasing nips across the exposed flesh and making him fumble with the prophylactic. But his hands soon found her hips, squeezing gently to let her know he was ready without breaking the mood. Though when Shepard was finally straddling his thighs, Garrus couldn't help stopping her.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice strained.

Her playful smirk vanished immediately and for a moment Garrus thought he'd made the biggest mistake of his life... but then Shepard cradled his face in her hands, her gaze soft and smile gentle. His breath caught in his throat. He never thought anyone would like at him the way she was, like he was their whole universe. A small keen escaped him as he wrapped his arms tightly around her, and held her close for a moment in a very human hug. She chuckled softly, returning his embrace before her fingers wandered up to his visor.

“Can I?”

Garrus' mandibles twitched nervously. “I... ah... I need it... to see clearly. The rocket... uh...”

“Okay,” she whispered, softly.

And just like that, all the tension and worry he'd previously felt about Shepard finding out how badly damaged he was vanished. He squeezed her waist as she leant to pressed a light kiss to the corner of his injured eye, then continued to press her lips softly over the bandage covering his ruined mandible. All the while, her skilled hand coaxed him back into readiness, and Garrus truly understood just how far both of them were committed to this. There would be no going back from it.

But then Shepard's gaze locked on his as she slowly sank down, and Garrus knew he'd never hear anything better then her gasping his name as he hilted inside her... there really was no going back, and he silently swore to never make her regret her decision.

 


	59. Chapter 59

His heart was still racing and adrenalin still coursing through his body, but the moment they were safely back through the Omega Four Relay, Jeff stood on throbbing legs and hugged Shepard the best he could, considering her bullet marked armour. He was actually surprised she'd stayed by his side during the last leg of their escape. He could here the crew and squad cheering in the CIC, after all... not to mention he knew about her little rendezvous with Garrus just before the mission.

About damn time if you asked him. There'd obviously been something between them back on the SR1, even if Shepard had hooked up with Nihlus the night before Ilos... yeah, he knew about that too. He was practically crippled not practically blind.

But Garrus had finally pulled that stick out of his ass and made his move, though Jeff would bet his hat that it had been Shepard who'd actually made the first move. She was that sort of woman. The type that knew what she wanted and went for it, which was apparently a turian... but who was he to judge, especially considering his monthly subscription to Fornax.

“You do know we all know, right?” he stated, deadpan.

He smirked as he pulled away from Shepard, smirking as she glanced over her shoulder to lock eyes with Garrus; who seemed to be having a similar moment with Tali. Jeff rolled his eyes at the quarian when she looked his way, and Tali shook her head in reply, before physically pushing Garrus towards them... yeah, Shepard definitely made the first move. But who'd have thought a turian could be bashful. Jeff wasn't exactly an expert on turian facial expressions, but he'd bet his shiny upgrades that Garrus was nervous. Which was hilarious. Shepard must have thought so too, if the way she began to chuckle was any indication.

As Shepard moved away from him to meet the turian half way, Jeff wondered if this was the moment he was supposed to threaten Garrus not to hurt her. Not that it was really going to be very convincing, since even after Cerberus' upgrades, he was still the sickly guy with the creaky legs. But he was never going to get the chance with his actual sister, since Hilary was into women and threatening one of her girlfriends would just be an ass hole move.

But then he watched as Garrus pressed his forehead to Shepard's, looking at her like she'd hung the stars in the sky. The crew and squad cheered even louder for them, and Jeff found himself nodding his head. It didn't look like he'd be needing to give the turian a warning after all... not that he ever really needed to give one, he knew Shepard could kick any guy's ass that messed her around. But that didn't stop Jeff from worrying about her all the same.

“Kee'lah, it's about time,” Tali stated, coming to stand beside him.

Jeff huffed a small laugh, draping his arm around the quarian's shoulders. “I'd say Shepard deserves it, but I think they both do.”

 


	60. Chapter 60

Shepard doubted the type of moan she gave when her back hit the bed was the type of one Garrus thought he'd hear, when she invited him up to her cabin. But then again, his own pained groan when he lay down beside her wasn't much better. Truth of the matter was that no matter how much she might want to sink down on to him, Shepard just hurt too goddamn much. And though he hadn't said anything, she knew Garrus felt much the same.

The fact that they'd _had_ to strip each other of their armours had spoken volumes. The fact when they stumbled into the shower together there was no teasing, not questing hands or lips or tongues. They'd just held each other as the hot water beat down on them, before eventually they'd helped each other wash, movements slow and affectionate. They'd towelled off then crashed onto her bed that was still rumpled from their activities before the relay.

Shepard forced herself to roll over to face him, smiling softly when she found Garrus already studying her. She lifted a weary hand to cup his good mandible, and he nuzzled into her palm. He was so damn adorable at time, and Shepard couldn't have controlled the bloom of warmth that settled over her when she looked at him. Unable to help it, she pressed her forehead to his, shutting her eyes contentedly when his arm slowly curled around her waist; his large hand splayed across her lower back.

If anything told her what they were doing wasn't about blowing off steam, it was that moment. Her naked skin pressed against his bare plates, and instead of desire and arousal bubbling up inside her, she felt happy and content. As if for the first time in her adult life, she'd found exactly where she belonged. It was a heady thought, but Shepard contented herself with breathing in the scent of him. A combination of musk and gun oil that she'd long associated with him. It smelt like home.

She'd told the Illusive Man to piss off, she'd sent off her reports to Uncle David, Nihlus and even Admiral Hackett. She'd messaged Wrex to let him know her and Grunt were okay, and ask how Urz was doing. She'd had Joker set a course for Omega so they could patch up the worst of the damage, before heading to Illium for the rest of the repairs... courtesy of Liara. The crew and squad had been treated, fed and all had been ordered to relax; EDI could guide them to Omega, and everyone deserved a break from what had happened on the collector base.

A contented sigh escaped her. “This is nice, you should stay a while.”

Garrus chuckled softly. “No place in the galaxy I'd rather be.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:  
> This concludes the end of ME2, because I hate Arrival and have no intention of playing that DLC right now. Currently installing ME3, so chapters will resume shortly.


	61. Chapter 61

James let out a shaky breath as watched Shepard storm through the hanger. He'd been worried for her, scared and angry that after being by her side throughout the meirda the pendejos had put her through, that he couldn't get to her when the meeting room she was in was blown to pieces. After the past six months, James had come to consider his fucking hero one of his closet friends, and it killed him not to be by her side when she needed him.

They'd been gym buddies, he'd watched with terrified awe as she honed her biotics into something deadlier than before. He'd watched how angry she'd become... almost bitter... that the bastardos just weren't listening to her. He'd become one of only two people who could get her to smile. Dios! He'd helped her dye her lovely red hair a shocking shade of blue, and smuggled her out to get a tattoo just to see her grin... it was a nice tattoo, a bit abstract just the way he liked, thick blue lines in some sort of pattern on her right shoulder; the shoulder her N7 stripe should be down if those meapilas got their heads out their asses.

He'd ended up running through HQ along with some Major Tightass who apparently knew the commander from before. Hijo de las mil putas couldn't have know her that well, since he didn't bother visiting once whilst she was on Earth, but that was beside the point. Because holy shit! They were running towards the Normandy, and Shepard's voice crackled through the comm. link, and James would never admit to the sense of satisfaction he felt when she didn't seem bothered that the major was there, but damn did she sound happy to hear _he_ was okay.

Which is probably why he followed her through the hanger when she stormed passed, whilst wondering where the hell Anderson was. He was about to demand answers because as usual, Shepard seemed to be the only one who knew what the hell was going on, but his mouth clamped shut when she yelled at the major that _David_ wasn't coming, and that she was leaving the last member of her family she _knew_ was alive back on Earth. James heard the crack in her voice, and didn't even think about what he was doing, when he forcefully tugged Shepard into his arms... though he didn't miss how Major Mamahuevo glared at him, when instead of hitting him, Shepard clung to his t-shirt; her hands curled into tight angry fists. James let her have a moment, where her breath came in harsh puffs of air, before she stepped away again.

“Thanks, James,” she said, still sounding strained.

“Any time, Lola,” he replied, easily.

Shepard raised an eyebrow at him. “Lola?”

James shrugged, offering her a small smile. “I've told you before, you look like a Lola.”

 


	62. Chapter 62

A harsh bark of laughter escape her lips, as she sat back from her desk. Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose, not sure what the hell to make of the turn of the events... not that the reapers had invaded Earth. No, that came as no surprised; she'd _died_ trying to get the bastards to believe her, and they hadn't even the decency to look for her body. She'd been rebuilt by Cerberus... the enemy for fuck sake, and spent every day feeling like a prisoner forced to work with them, because no one else would do a fucking thing about the collectors.

The the six months she'd spent on Earth while absolute fuckers debated her 'crimes'. Shepard had known then, despite Uncle David and Admiral Hackett and the godsend that was James Vega being in her corner, she'd never go back to the Alliance if she got out of that clusterfuck. She was still a Spectre after all, and then there was Jack's bloody tempting offer of going pirate. Because yes, that was preferable then returning to the bastards that couldn't even be bothered to look for her _corpse_. But then the reapers had hit earth and now this had happened....

An email from Hackett. Not only officially confirming the verbal reinstatement that Uncle David had done; who'd thrown a set of new dog tags at her, that he just happened to have in his pocket. But given her a promotion... to fucking Major, so she had the position to back up the authorisation to establish treaties with potential allies... but also gave her back the command of her beloved Normandy. Even subtly hinting that the ship papers were still in her name.

But it wasn't just that, it was stupid little things that others probably hadn't even noticed. The fact there was a new set of N7 armour waiting in the hanger, that was modded to exactly her preferences and made to her dimensions. It was the fact that her lovely Admiral, who Uncle David had been looking after whilst she'd been grounded, was in his cage on the shelf he'd always sat on. It was the fact that there wasn't only a set of spare fatigues in her precise measurements in the closet, but also a dress officers uniform... something she hadn't as a commander, only needing regular Alliance dress blues. So Shepard knew that no matter what her new Yeoman said, those crafty old bastards had _planned_ this. Uncle David wasn't redesigning the Normandy to be his mobile defence station, he was retrofitting the ship for _her_. Shepard honestly didn't know what to think about it.

Though no matter how many times the Alliance, humanity, the council, the galaxy turned it's back on her, Shepard just couldn't stop caring. No matter how she seethed, or how the anger had settled like a lead weight in her chest, Shepard cared. So she'd gone to Mars as per Hackett's request, unfortunately she'd been stuck with Kaidan-fucking-Alenko again, but she'd been reunited with Liara... though no Feron insight. But seeing the asari gave Shepard hope that more of her team could be out there somewhere and not just Liara and Joker. It made her hope that she could somehow track them down... track a very certain turian down... and give her something personally worth fighting for. Her friends, her family. Because after everything she'd been through, Shepard realised she could no longer go on just for the good of the galaxy.

But Mars had been trying, and she'd been close the doing more than verbally lashing the 'major', and sweet wonderful James had had her back, as had Liara. Shepard had honestly hated sending the behemoth back to the shuttle before she pressed on to the archives, really wanting Alenko as far away from her as possible. But she'd meant what she said, she needed someone she could trust in the shuttle. She needed to know there was someone who had her back, that would come for her once she'd finished off Cerberus. James' deep brown eyes had flicked to Alenko, before he'd given her an understanding nod, and Shepard had been so relieved that he'd known without her having to elaborate. But then she'd watched with her heart in her mouth, as James crashed their shuttle into the Cerberus one to stop 'Eva Core' from escaping. And then Alenko was injured by the woman who turned out to be an android, and though Shepard didn't like him, she wasn't a heartless bitch. She hated that he got hurt whilst under her command, but she was honestly more worried about James and his mental state.

At least a friendly face had greeted her at the docks, and Shepard had genuinely congratulated Bailey on his promotion. The meeting with the council had gone about as shit as Shepard had expected though, even having to argue again that she hadn't acted in humanities favour when she'd sacrificed the Destiny Ascention, but had made the call to ensure they could take out Sovereign... a reaper... who no one had wanted to believe existed, that Shepard literally died trying to prove. But at least the turian councillor wasn't as much of a dick as Sparatus had been, he'd even given her a lead to get turian co-operation; which was more than the asari and salarian councillors had done. Fuck! Even Udina was being nice to her, though she still felt Uncle David should have remained humanity's councillor. Though she got a slither of good news when she'd dutifully visited Alenko in the hospital after his surgery, finding Chakwas among the doctor, who seemed just as grateful to be invited back on the Normandy as Shepard was that she accepted. So slowly, she was getting her team... her family... back.

However, getting that extranet message from Hackett had thrown he again, and she wished she had a certain someone to talk to about it all. Though she didn't even know if he was alive; all her messaged had bounced, probably due to a vast number of comm. relays being destroyed already. But she'd ordered Joker to set a course for Palaven, and Shepard couldn't help hope that she might see Garrus again.

 


	63. Chapter 63

The overwhelming relief Garrus felt seeing Shepard again was unbelievable, even if she now had shockingly blue hair instead of the red he'd gotten used to. She looked good though, if a little weary, and he'd fought every impulse that screamed he should go over and press his forehead to hers. But there was a different air about her, she seemed angrier, something he'd never really attributed to Shepard before. She had always been the level headed one out of the pair of them, so the simmering fury he could practically taste that rolled off her was a surprise. Though understandable.

She'd been warning people for years about the reapers, she'd died warning people about the reapers, and hardly anyone had listened. The ones that had didn't have the power she needed to ready the galaxy for the invasion. He'd done his best, Nihlus had done his best. Anderson and Hackett too. But they were a few voices helping her to shout at deaf ears, his father had eventually believed him, helped him convince a lot of the hierarchy to start preparing. But Garrus didn't know if Shepard had managed to convince anyone else to believe her, and when news had broken about Earth being hit, his sub-harmonics had rang with unconcealed distress. So seeing her on Menae again had unclenched something that had been sitting heavy in his chest.

Though the relief of seeing her alive was quickly replaced by worry for her, when he could see and scent her anger, and then to nervous apprehension as he began to wonder if he'd been on her mind whilst she was on Earth. How did he go about greeting his human lover who he hadn't heard from in six months, whilst they were in the middle of a war zone. So Garrus decided to go for friendly but professional; they were in front of turian troops and her squad after all. He drummed up as much courage as he could as he tried to walk sedately over to her... and nearly broke his resolve to be professional when he could smell the relief and excitement that roll off her, when she realised it was him coming to talk. Shepard gripped his hand tightly as he reached for her gauntlet clad one, and he couldn't resist curling his free hand over hers protectively; desperately wanting to raise it to his mouth places and kiss her bare flesh. She even smiled when she introduced him to her lieutenant, and the pride that was evident in her voice made Garrus fight the urge to purr happily. Not to mention his relief to be able to be on Shepard's six once again.

But that feeling was short lived, replaced by almost abject terror, when he watched her fight. It wasn't the Shepard he knew, she was angrier, reckless. She would was still biotically Charging enemies, but now she was detonating some sort of attack that used her own shields to bolster it's power. Shepard used it indiscriminately, even against a brutish behemoth of a reaper ground troop. Garrus growled every time she unleashed the combo, even as his heart hammered in his chest. But what scared him more was the update Shepard had seemed to have made to her old Reave attack, her lieutenant had shouted over the gunfire the first time she used it in front of him, calling it Dark Channel. It seemed to infect an enemy, slowly whittling down it's life, and transferred to another if the original died from the assault. It was brutal, and Garrus couldn't help wondering what had happened to prompt Shepard to learn such a sinister attack, when she'd always preferred a good clean kill before. He was worried about her, and not just because he had to crouch and watch as she hurled herself at the third 'brute' in a row. So was when they'd eventually found Victus, and the new Primarch was having a moment to speak to his troops, Garrus took the opportunity to talk to Shepard; though the sight of a reaper baring down on Menae stole his train of thought.

“Look at that!” he growled. “And they want my opinion on how to stop it?! Failed C-Sec officer, vigilante... and _I'm_ their expert advisor?!”

“You're a hell of a soldier, Garrus. And you've been with me every step of the way,” Shepard said, quietly. “I can't think of a better person to get the turians in a position to fight them.”

“They should have listened to you!” he grit out, glancing at her. “Do you think you can win this, Shepard?”

Shepard huffed a mirthless laugh. “Yeah... and I don't know, Garrus. But I'm sure as hell going to give it my best shot.”

“I'm damn sure no one else can do it,” Garrus stated, honestly. Before tentatively resting his hand on her shoulder. “For what it's worth, I'm with you.”

Her shoulders sagged and for a moment he worried he'd said something wrong, until he heard Shepard mutter: “Thank fuck for that” barely under her breath. Feeling a little braver, Garrus let his hand wander discretely down her armoured arm, until her could briefly give her fingers what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze.

“Just.. don't go dying this time, alright?” he said, only half joking.

“That'll depend if I have something worth living for,” she replied, squeezing his fingers in return.

 


	64. Chapter 64

Shepard had already decided she liked this turian Primarch, and not only because Garrus trusted him... which did hold more sway than perhaps it should have. But he wanted the krogan on board, and Shepard couldn't imagine better allies, so she immediately sent out a message to Wrex' last know extranet address. Though of course, nothing was ever that easy. The asari were throwing their dummies out of their prams, but Hackett had agreed with her and the Primarch... they needed the krogan on board. But Shepard was no politician, so after exchanging brief encouraging words with Victus, she hurried to her cabin to shower, lest she punch the next unsuspecting sap that annoyed her.

There was only one person she wanted to talk to, and he was thankfully back in the Main Battery... Shepard would have said where he belonged, but her gaze wandered over to her bed when she stepped out of the bathroom. _That's_ where Garrus belong... hopefully, he felt the same way. They'd never confirmed what they were, before she'd handed herself in. But Shepard was certain their time together was more than friends with benefits... it definitely had been for her. After all, as much as she adored Nihlus, he didn't give her the same butterflies as Garrus did.

So she ran her hands through her shockingly blue hair, mussing it up as she tried to decide what to wear. The officers uniform was out of the question. Oh, she knew he'd get a kick out of it, but it was hardly reunion material. Nor was smart black dress she'd also found in her wardrobe, that could only have come from Uncle David... though Shepard dreaded to think what functions he'd been planning to drag her to. Luckily, whilst she and Liara had been playing politician on the Citadel, Shepard had asked Cortez to order her some more casual clothes. She wasn't sure if he'd picked them himself, or maybe asked Joker or even Chakwas for ideas, but she loved the several pairs of jeans, simple tank tops, two leather jackets, and even an oversized N7 hoodie... which could have probably fit James.

A chuckle escape her lips, when she realised she was genuinely fretting over what to wear, doubting that Garrus had any inclination when it came to human fashion. So she chose black jeans, a black tank top, her regular combat boots, and grabbed the navy leather jacket to throw on over the top. Shepard spared a minute to run into the bathroom to check her reflection, only just noticing the semi-permanent make up have begun to fade, but it still looked decent. She took a steadying breath before she punched the button for the Crew Deck, and adopted a confident air as she strolled through the Mess Hall to the Main Battery. Smiling immediately when she noticed her turian hadn't even taken his armour off, before starting his calibrations.

“Garrus, didn't waste any time getting to work I see,” she said in greeting.

“After what I've been through lately, calibrating a giant gun is a vacation. Gives me something to focus on,” he replied, stepping away from the Thanix cannon.

“We're going to need you for more than your aim,” Shepard stated, as neutrally as she could.

“Oh, I'm ready for it. But I'm pretty sure we'll still need giant guns, and lots of them,” he drawled.

Shepard huffed a laugh. “Can't argue with that.”

The conversation lulled for a moment as they locked eyes, and the tension between them was palpable. Shepard had never felt this way with any lover before; butterflies in her stomach, her heart pounding in her chest. Just looking at Garrus made heat begin to coil in her, and Shepard was damn sure that damn visor was probably picking up every detail. Oh who was she kidding, even if turians weren't as evolved scent wise as krogan and salarians, he could probably smell her feelings. Which was why Shepard was almost stunned when he seemed nervous.

“Yeah, so... is this the part where we... shake hands?” he asked, obviously trying not to fidget. “Wasn't sure about the protocol on reunions, or if you even still felt the same way about me. The scars are starting to fade. I remember they drove you wild...”

A chuckled escaped her, as she watched him step closer to her.

“... but I can go out and get all new ones, if it'll help,” he finished.

Shepard blinked at him, surprised by his statement. She wondered if Garrus realised what he'd really just said, that he'd basically told her he'd do almost anything for there to be a 'them'. It was shocking, and amazing, and incredibly touching. She'd been fairly certain there was more to than blowing off steam, but she hadn't known how much more... she definitely hadn't expected him to care that much. No other man in her life had, and neither had she in all honesty. But looking at him then, bathed in the soft orange light of the Main Battery, Shepard had the sneaky suspicion that Garrus could be the end game for her.

Though perhaps it was a little early to be admitting that.

“I haven't forgotten out time together,” she smiled, instead. “And it wasn't the scars that drove me wild.”

“Well, I've been doing some more research on human customs,” Garrus admitted, almost nervously. “I didn't want to... presume anything...”

Taking pity on him at last, Shepard pushed up on her toes to press her lips gently to his scarred mandible. She lingered for a moment, before wrapping her hand over his cowl, and tugging him down so she could press her forehead to his. Shepard took his hands in hers, indulgently running her thumbs across his gloved talons, wishing she could feel his hide against her skin.

“That's the protocol on reunions. Or at least, step one,” she teased.

“The vids mentioned it might go something like that,” he replied, sounding almost dazed. “I had hoped it would. I mean, I didn't know...”

“I can't promise how things will work out, not with this war. But I missed you, Garrus. I thought about you... a lot.”

She lightly squeezed his talons before taking a short step away from him. He tilted his head to the side, silently questioning her, until she shrugged the sleeve of her jacket off her shoulder, revealing the vivid blue tattoo now adorning her pale skin. Shepard really hoped Garrus would recognise his own clan markings, even though they were on a human shoulder instead of a turian face. Thankfully, if the way both his mandibles quivered slightly as he reached a talon to stroke her skin almost reverently, he understood.

“That's my...”

He trailed off, as it seemed a few more pieced fell into place for him; his gaze drifted up from her tattoo, to the shocking shade of blue she'd dyed her hair, before his eyes snapped back to hers.

“Did you...?”

Shepard shrugged. “Blue's always reminded me of you.”

“I had... ah... wondered about your change of armour when you... came back,” he said, quietly.

“It made me feel better,” she admitted, unabashed. “And the moment I can change the N7 that just happened to be onboard, I'll be tinting it blue again.”

Garrus flared his mandibles in a small smile. “Glad to know my romantic... uh... skills made an impression. Because it's going to take more than reapers to come between this cross-species liaison.”

Shepard pressed her forehead back to his. “Then stay close, we've got some catching up to do,” she smirked.

“You know where to find me. And this time...” he paused to pull a bottle of wine out of his kitbag. “I can afford the good stuff. There are a few perks to being an expert reaper advisor.

Unable to help it, Shepard gasped. She stared at the bottle Garrus help up for her inspection, and tears pricked her eyes. There was no way he could have picked that up since they're reunited on Menae, which meant he must have had it for a while... and considering they hadn't been able to communicate in six months...

“How long?” she whispered.

Garrus took her hand in his unoccupied one, raising it to his mouth plates. “Not long after I got to Palaven. I needed... something. Some way to remind myself I'd see you again.”

For a split second, Shepard searched his eyes, stunned at the utter affection she could see in the. She cupped his face with her free hand, before surging up to press her lips to his mouth plates almost desperately. There was no doubt in Shepard's mind then, Garrus was definitely her end game.

 


	65. Chapter 65

A prothean... a living prothean.

Garrus shook his head, trying to wrap his head around it. He knew life with Shepard around was never boring, but he'd barely been on the ship a standard galactic hour, before she was plotting a course for Eden Prime; and he'd tried to push aside the tiny pang of jealousy, when he'd watched her type out a message to Nihlus reminising almost fondly about being 'back where it all started'.

Now they were back on the Normandy, with a living prothean that seemed only interested in speaking with Shepard. Garrus had almost growled when Liara had recounted how their meeting with 'Javik' had gone, not liking one bit how often the prothean had apparently touched his ma...

Garrus sighed. He was getting ahead of himself. Just because Shepard seemed as keen to continue... whatever they had together... as he was, and admitted she'd started to tint her armour blue because the colour reminded her of him. Not to mention she'd dyed her hair almost the same shade as his visor, and tattooed his clan markings permanently onto her soft skin... Garrus shook his head, even as his sub-harmonics thrummed with hope. Perhaps he hadn't been as foolish as he'd feared.

But that wasn't why he was in the elevator bound for her cabin. There had been two small beacons Shepard had interacted with down on Eden Prime, she'd seen messages whilst he and Liara had seen only static. Javik had grabbed her when they'd been planet side, and from how she described it, she'd seen another vision then... Garrus was worried for her. He remembered how much she'd suffered trying to make sense of it all during their hunt for Saren, and with everything everyone seemed to be piling on her, he didn't think Shepard needed the extra stress. So even though they were still on duty, he desperately needed to check she was okay.

The fact that her cabin was only lit by the dim light of her empty fish tank when he arrived, didn't help Garrus' worry. He could faintly make out Shepard's lean body sprawled on her bed, with her forearms crossed over her eyes. Honestly, he thought she might have been asleep and turned to make a quiet exit, not wanting to disturb her... until she softly called out his name. She sounded so tired, that Garrus couldn't help slowly creeping towards her bed, hoping to not make too much sound in the quiet room.

“Are you okay, Shepard?” he asked, keeping his voice down.

“Migraine,” she whispered back. “But it's passing.”

“Was it... the beacons?” he asked, cautiously.

Shepard let out a soft sigh. “Maybe. But...” She sighed again. “I'm not sleeping well, and I know I've been pushing my biotics too hard.”

“I've noticed you've been using them more. They're quite... terrifying,” he admitted.

He carefully sat at the edge of her bed, cautiously running his talons through her blue hair and he nervously waited for a reply. He was worried she'd be offended by what he'd said, especially since he knew she knew that turians in general were... nervous around biotics. But he was more concerned by the new techniques she'd been using. He couldn't help worrying that they left her too vulnerable despite their obvious, devastating power.

“I had a lot of time to stew and be angry whilst waiting for the brass to pull their heads out their asses,” she muttered. “I chose to turn it into something useful.”

“They're certainly...effective,” he noted, still feeling wary.

Shepard huffed a small laugh. “Don't worry, Garrus. I know what I'm doing. I've just gotten more powerful than the amp Cerberus gave me can handle. Liara's already ordered me a new one, it should be waiting for us when we next dock at the Citadel.”

Garrus let out the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. “That's good.”

To his surprise, Shepard captured his hand that had been carding through her cropped hair, and moved so she could press a kiss to his talons. Even in the faint light, he could see the tired yet affectionate smile she was giving him. So Garrus couldn't resist discretely tapping his visor to take a holo of her, something he had a feeling he'd be doing a lot of in the coming weeks, months... just in case.

“I'm not recklessly throwing myself into the fight, I don't have a death wish. I have something to live for after all,” she told him, before glancing away, seeming embarrassed.

“You Charged a brute down on Menae, Shepard,” he pointed out.

Her gaze locked onto his again. “It was about to charge you.”

The words hung in the air between them, but Shepard's gaze remained unwavering, even as she pushed herself into a seated position. Garrus just let them sink in, hearing the words Shepard didn't say. He was stunned by the silent admission, and he began to realise that maybe he wasn't so far fetched to think she would be his mate. But before he could even imagine how to broach the subject, Shepard was huffing about another small laugh.

“So now you know what I was up to for six months, care to tell me how you got promoted to 'expert advisor' on the reapers?” she grinned.

“It's not as impressive as it sounds. I ruffled some feathers, so they gave me a token title along with a token task force so I'd shut up,” Garrus explained.

Shepard smirked at him. “How'd you manage that?”

“Just followed your example,” he told her, affectionately. Pressing his forehead to hers. “Yell loud enough, and someone will eventually come over and see what all the fuss is about... not that they'll actually do anything about it.”

“Until the devil shows up at their door, and all hell breaks loose. Then they put you in charge,” she surmised.

Garrus chuckled. “Not like the old days, is it? Rogue Spectre and C-Sec agent running and gunning outside the lines, making it up as we went along. We're actually respectable now.”

“Hey, I was very respectable back then,” she pouted, before grinning a smile that didn't quite reach her vivid green eyes. “Not so much now.”

His hands wandered up to run through her hair again. “I'm quite liking the new look,” he smiled.

“Not what I meant, and you know it,” Shepard said, rolling her eyes.

“I do,” he rumbled, honestly. “But remember, we're in this together.” He pressed his forehead back to hers. “And if it ends with both of us dying in a gigantic explosion taking out a reaper, just remember... I took the kill shot.”

His words had the exact effected he'd hoped, as Shepard suddenly burst out laughing. Tears slipped down her cheeks, as she tried to huff in a breath between chuckles. She flung her arms around his torso, her body shaking with her laughter. Garrus' mandibles flared into a wide grin as he hugged her back... and he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his days simply making Shepard happy.

 


	66. Chapter 66

James gave his punching bag a solid one, two, as the doors from the elevator wooshed open. He instinctively turned to face the ground party,  about to raise a hand to wave at Lola; wish her good hunting, maybe tease her for taking Scars and Doc with her instead of him... not like he was too surprised. He'd heard the krogan was an old friend of theirs, and not to mention that the moment James had met the turian, he'd realised what Lola's tattoo was all about. But then the krogan; Wrex, stopped dead in the middle of the hanger and rounded on Shepard.

 

“I found out you had access to Maelon's data, and destroyed it,” he growled, menacingly.

“Who the _fuck_ told you that bullshit?!” Lola spat.

There was enough venom in her voice that Esteban and Doc jumped, Scars flinched, and he himself cautiously reached for his shotgun. Lola and the krogan kept staring at each other, neither moving though there was the obvious glow of biotics that started to surround both of them. James through a worried look at Esteban, knowing the shuttle pilot must have been having the same thoughts as he was... would the Normandy survive a biotic showdown? He wasn't sure about the ship as a whole, but he doubted the hanger would come out unscathed. But then the krogan _laughed_ , loud and raucous. Shepard blinked at Wrex for a moment, before biotically punching him in the arm.

“You fucking dick!” she yelled, before she... headbutted the krogan.

James simply stared in disbelief, having no idea what was going on, though noticed Scars and Doc share a look that seemed to speak volumes. However he slowly lowered his shotgun when both Lola and the krogan dissipated their biotics, his gun arm falling limply to his side as he watched Wrex wrap his large hand around the back of Lola's neck.

“Saw your other turian on the Citadel before we rendezvoused. He'd come across some info from when you and that salarian came to Tuchunka. Said it didn't sit right and wanted me to pass it on to you,” the krogan chuckled.

“And you thought you'd read the data?” Doc asked, calmly.

“I wanted to make sure it was nothing that could hurt Shepard, needed to know who's heads I was butting,” Wrex shrugged.

“So you couldn't have just asked me?” Lola demanded. “You had to scare the shit out of me?!”

“I trusted you on Virmire, Shepard. But when your own father turns one you, you learn to be wary. Needed to make sure, you know.”

“At least there were no shotguns involved this time,” Garrus drawled.

James shook his head, but tossed his shotgun to his work bench before finally wandering over. It seemed the situation was under control.. he still had no idea what the situation was... but he still wanted Lola to know he had her back if she needed. Especially when she sounded so weary when she said:

“I didn't tell you because I didn't want to get your hopes up. I asked Mordin to keep working on it, but I sent encrypted copies of the original data to Liara, Anderson and Nihlus just in case we didn't make it back from the collector base. I had a copy myself, but the Alliance confiscated my personal affects.”

“I figured it was something like that,” the krogan rumbled. “Told you before, you've done more for me than my own family. I respect you, Shepard. I trust you. Just needed to make sure I wasn't trusting blindly.”

“I know, Wrex,” she sighed. “So we good?”

The krogan laughed. “We're good Shepard.”

As the others started towards the shuttle again, James lay a hand on Lola's shoulder. He was rather impressed and a little surprised when she reached up to pat his hand with hers, offering a tired smile even though he hadn't said anything. Then again, perhaps they didn't need to. James had noticed she often had silent conversation with her friends, and he felt pride swell in his chest to realise Lola had brought him in to her inner cycle. So instead of wishing her luck, he squeezed her shoulder before stepping away. Though he couldn't help hold in a laugh when he heard her call out to the krogan:

“And Nihlus isn't my 'other' turian.”

“So you're admitting Garrus _is_ your turian then?” Wrex chuckled.

James' grinned softened as he watched Scars wrap his arm around Shepard's shoulders, and just before the shuttle's hatch closed, he heard the turian rumbled:

“Was there ever any doubt?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably should have given this heads up before, but during the few days I didn't post after the end of the ME2 section, was because I had major game/console trouble. It's so bad I've had to dig out my old Xbox 360, but the cloud save my ME1 & 2 gameplay was saved to wouldn't transfer to the older console I had to use the genesis to get ME3 somewhat in line with the other games, but the console genesis misses out a lot of key event choices, like saving or destroying Maelon's data, and even the DLC. It's actually so bad that if I wasn't writing this story, I simply wouldn't bother playing the game. Shepard's anger and frustration going into ME3 is more or less bassed on how annoyed I've been trying to get it all to work, and there will probably be more chapters in the future where I'm trying to correct things the game is insisting on, even though it doesn't match up with what's previously happened. I'm going to try my best to get this section to actually carry on properly, so thank you for bearing with an annoyed writer and more renegade Shepard!


	67. Chapter 67

As was happening more and more, Shepard lay on her bed, her forearms shielding her eyes even though the only light in the room was the dim glow of the fish tank; with her pathetic single shoal of Illium Skald fish occasionally swimming passed the bulbs, and casting interesting shadows on the cabin's floor. She let out a frustrated sigh, her migraine pounding.

Even though the mission on Sur'kesh had been a success, with the krogan female, Wrex and Mordin all safely onboard the Normandy despite the salarian Dalatras and Cerberus' best efforts... because yeah, she fully expected it was that jumped up bitch that had tipped the bastards off... Shepard didn't have that sense of satisfaction after a mission well done. But at least Wrex believed her about Maelon's cure, not to mention Mordin and Garrus backed her up for good measure, along with Liara. Which was something.

Though Wrex now had a missing squad that needed finding, which included her Grunt and Shepard was worried; she was awfully fond of that tank bred krogan. But that wasn't what had triggered off her migraine. It was Victus and his shady request to find a missing turian frigate that had crashed... on Tuchanka. Shepard knew there was something fishy about that, and the Primarch himself admitted he 'couldn't' tell her anything more. She didn't buy it. He was withholding vital information, and Shepard had only agreed to handle the matter instead of immediately telling Wrex, because Victus' son was among the missing... and she knew all to well the worry and heartache that came from a family member being MIA. But fuck, did it piss her off and make her head pound.

Shepard had been so lost in her ranging thoughts, she hadn't realised anyone was in her cabin, until the bed dipped beside her. She didn't bother moving though. She'd only granted unlimited accesses to Garrus, Liara and Joker... anyone else, and EDI would have notified her. The pilot would have made her come to him if he needed anything, Liara preferred to talk via comm. link so she could continue working, which only left Garrus. Lovely, wonderful Garrus who'd happily announced to their friends that he was hers.

“Hey...” he rumbled, quietly.

“Hey...” she replied, barely holding in a sigh. “You mentioned you still had family on Palaven?”

“My father's there. Sister too,” he told her. “Where's that come from?”

“Few reasons. I should have asked earlier and something Victus said. His son's regiment is MIA, he's asked me to look for them.”

Garrus gave an annoyed sounding growl. “That's an abuse of...”

“They're on Tuchanka,” Shepard said, tiredly.

When his talons began to card through her hair, she finally removed her arms from in front of her eyes, smiling appreciatively when she realised he'd positioned himself to block out most of the light. Her hand found his surprisingly armour free thigh, and squeezed.

“How long is it since you heard from them?” she asked, gently.

“Long enough to be worried.”

“I'm sure they're okay,” Shepard said, fully meaning it.

Garrus huffed a small, humourless chuckle. “That's the thing about getting old, Shepard. The platitudes get just as old.”

With more effort than she'd like to admit, Shepard managed to push herself into a seating position, before moving to kneel so she could carefully press her forehead to his.

“If they are anything like you, they're kicking ass and taking names, Vakarian. _Don't_ give up on them.”

His hand cupped her cheek. “I shouldn't be surprised by your little impromptu speeches by now, but Spirits. I needed to hear that. Thank you, Shepard.” He paused to nuzzle his mandible against her other cheek. “But what about you? Any word from your family?”

“Dad died in the First Contact war. Hackett had no word on Uncle David, and my mother is also in the Alliance. Haven't heard from her since Earth got hit either.”

“I'm sure... sss-she's, tt-they're okay,” he said, nervously. “I... ah... didn't know about you're father. I'm sorry.”

“It's alright. It's not something I go around talking about,” she smiled, kindly.

“Do you.. um... would you... ah...”

Shepard huffed out a fond chuckle. “He died trying to help the enemy... apparently the turian soldier who'd managed to shoot him stepped on a landmine not long after. His XO was the only one to survive the skirmish, he told us that despite a gut wound, Dad dragged himself over to the turian to see if he could help. Apparently there wasn't much left for him to save, but no good deed goes unpunished. The turian's blood got into his wound. He died from anaphylactic shock on the way to medical evac.”

Garrus' flinched at her words, whether it was learning her family had fought in the First Contact War, or the revelation about the allergic reaction, Shepard wasn't sure. But she quickly captured his hands when he went to pull away, squeezing his talons reassuringly.

“Other than Uncle David, who was my Dad's XO... and is incidently my godfather, you and Mordin are the only people outside my family who know what happened to my Dad,” she told him. “Official reports state that he was too close to the turian when they stepped on the landmine, and blood managed to get into his wound that way. Uncle David didn't want the brass to sully my dad's memory.”

“Spirits, Shepard,” Garrus whispered, cautiously moving to press his forehead to hers. “Thank you, for... trusting me. Though I'm curious, how does Mordin know?”

She tried not to laugh. “He wanted me to be aware of the risks of _ingestion_ , before we spent the night together. He wasn't convinced I understood, until I explained that Mum refused to sign the papers to let me join the Alliance cadets when I was sixteen, unless I had the test. Her exact words were 'I refuse to let another loved one die for stupid reasons'. She's a very practical woman.”

Garrus' mandibles quivered as he stared at her for a moment, looking utterly shocked, before he burst out laughing.

“Maybe we should introduce her to Mordin, once this war is over,” he chuckled. “They sound like a good fit.”

Shepard couldn't help grinning. “Hold your horses, Garrus. A turian boyfriend is one thing, but I'm not so sure I'm ready for a salarian step-dad.”

 


	68. Chapter 68

Garrus knew that Shepard was very good at hiding her emotions, so having to stand to the side and not react, as he watched silent tears roll down her cheeks was hard. It was hard to imagine he'd only been back onboard the Normandy for two days, yet the first day they'd unearthed a living prothean, then high tailed it to Grissom Academy to pull Jack's ass out of the fire. That night Shepard had brokered a tentative peace deal between the the turians and krogans, and he'd found her asleep in the meeting room, surrounded by datapads.

The second day had started with a rescue of a female krogan from Sur'kesh, and ended with Shepard crying as she stood beside the female's funeral pyre. In between they'd thwarted a Cerberus attack on some ancient krogan artillery, rescued the Primarch's son and his platoon from Tuchanka, difused a giant bomb that Victus hadn't bothered telling Shepard about... then let her think it was a Cerberus device instead of admitting it was turian one planted at the end of the krogan rebellion. That was all before lunch, Shepard had been pissed, and Garrus was fairly sure Victus was only alive because his son had paid with his life to make the situation right.

The afternoon hadn't gotten much better. Getting the genophage cure planet-side and to the 'shroud' had been arduous, facing a reaper on foot had not been pleasant, but Garrus had never thought he'd be cheering for a thresher maw, as he and Javik watched 'Kalros' take down the reaper. Shepard had gone ahead to meet Mordin and the krogan female 'Eve' at the shroud, she'd returned alone. And even as an almost beautiful mist began to disperse in Tuchanka's atmosphere, Shepard had only managed a weak smile for Wrex as he proudly claimed her sister and krogan hero.

The tonka journey back to the Hollows had been sombre. Shepard had insisted on sitting beside Eve's corpse as she quietly recounted what Mordin had told her; they'd been set upon by husks and cannibals as they got into the shroud tower, the salarian had tried his best to fend them off, but Eve had been too badly injured and succumbed to her injuries... having already been weakened from Maelon's barbaric experiments... Mordin had barely made it out of the fight alive, but then insisted on sacrificing himself in order to ensure the genophage was cured.

Shepard's voice had been quiet but steady, she'd kept it together until the funeral pyre was lit, and Garrus still had to keep his distance. After all, she was his commander during a mission, not his... girlfriend. And Spirits! That was a dream he kept having to remind himself was real. But he felt so useless, knowing she was hurting and not being able to do anything to comfort her.

He hadn't seen her since they got back to the Normandy. He'd gone to try delay the Primarch, hoping to at least buy Shepard some time to collect herself before she was throw back in to playing politician. But Garrus couldn't stall Victus forever, and soon he was on the hunt for her; hoping that talking to her in person would be preferably to hailing her over the comm. link. He found Shepard in the hanger. Or more accurately, Garrus went down to the hanger where Cortez caught his eye, and gestured over to where Shepard and Vega were huddled together over the lieutenant's workbench. Since the man was her Arms Master, Garrus supposed the pair were maybe working on a few guns... a standard turian practice when someone wanted to clear their minds.

But drawing nearer, Garrus realised he'd been very wrong. A medium size quartz crystal lay on the work bench, beside it, a smaller fragment that had obviously chipped off the larger one. Though it was a little different, it was obvious it had been worked, it's edges smoothed and what looked like silver wire wrapped around one end. It looked like a pendant, and Garrus watched in shock silence as Shepard removed her dogtags, in order to add the crystal to the chain.

“It looks good, Lola,” Vega complimented, quietly.

“Thanks for the help, James,” Shepard replied, sounding worn.

For the first time all day, Garrus had the opportunity to comfort his girlfriend without worrying about stepping over the line; Vega was a friend of hers after all, so was Cortez, and they were the only other people in the hanger with them. However, instead of words of support or comfort, the first thing out of Garrus' mouth was:

“Your first names Lola?”

The three humans all burst out laughed, Vega giving him a shit-eating grin as he said:

“Oh man! You don't know what your own bomboncita's name is?”

Cortez called over. “I'd run if I were you, Garrus. And be prepared for a night on the sofa.”

Shepard merely smirked at him. “It is now... or it will be, when we next get to the Citadel and I change it by deed poll.”

“You really gonna do that, Lola?” Vega asked, sounding shocked yet pleased.

She shrugged, pocketing the remained of the crystal. “Why not? I always hated my name, and you say I look like a Lola. So Lola it is.”

“So what is your current name then, Commander?” Cortez called.

“If I told you that, I'd have to kill you!”

Garrus trailed after her as she headed towards the elevator, leaving the two human men laughing harder than he though they should be... which must mean that what Shepard said was some sort of human thing he didn't understand. As the doors slid shut, Garrus' mandibles twitched and he fought the urge not to fidget when Shepard turned her vivid green eyes on him.

“What's on your mind, Vakarian?” she asked, her tone a little too sweet.

“Are you... um... I'm... uh...”

Shepard huffed a laugh. “I'm not mad, you're not in trouble, and you don't need to be sorry. I don't tell anyone my given name, I honestly hate it... traditional name in my family. I think there's probably six or seven just in the generations I know about. I'm seriously changing it to Lola, ask James, he started it but I like it. So... you can call me that. Or stick to Shepard. I like how you say my name.”

His shoulders sagged in relief, and feeling a little braver, he took a step towards her; sighing contentedly when Shepard let him pull her into a tight hug. He was thankful he'd spared the time to change from this armour so he could feel her supply body mould to his, and he let his sub-harmonics rumble with a comforting purr.

“I'll remember that... Shepard,” he drawled, dragging her name out. “But are you alright? It's not been an easy few days, and I couldn't hold off Victus for much longer.”

“I figured that's why you came looking for me,” she sighed, resting her forehead on his keel. “And can we talk about it later? If I have to go play politician.”

Garrus nodded in understanding. “Sure thing, Shepard. Though I do have one question...”

Instead of finishing the thought aloud, he carefully ran a talon along the chain around her neck, gently tapping the cloudy crystal. She looked up at him then, a sad smile on her reddish lips, as she reached up to caress the pendant herself.

“Eve gave it to be before we hit Tuchanka, it was important to her and she wanted me to have it,” she explained. “I had it on me when we went planet-side. Must have chipped when we fell into the catacombs. I went down to see if there was any wire kicking about to make it into a pendant, James found me struggling to wrap it, so offered to help. He drilled a small hole so I could thread the wire through and helped me wrap it; apparently his mother used to like making jewellery.”

“It's a beautiful sentiment,” he told her, truthfully.

“The colour reminds me of the mist from the shroud. So I guess it's for both her and Mordin now.”

“Him dying... it can't be easy,” he rumbled, pulling her close again.

“No... and I have a feeling we're going to lose more friends to this fucking war, and I don't know if I'm going to be good enough to stop it.”

Her voice cracked at the end of her admission, breaking his heart. Shepard literally had the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders. People who had refused to listen to her for years were now looking to her for guidance. Garrus couldn't begin to imagine how she was coping with it all, but there was one thing he was certain of...

“I'm here, Shepard. And I'll be with you every step of the way.”

 


	69. Chapter 69

Shepard couldn't stop staring at the War Table, or more accurately _through_ the hologram of the Crucible. Victus had just departed, after informing her he'd send troops immediately to help with construction, before promising that she'd had turian forces when the time came to return to Earth. But instead of proud of the alliance she'd brokered, she just felt numb.

“I'll start managing turian support right away, Shepard. You must be exhausted,” Garrus rumbled, daring to nuzzle her temple.

Shepard huffed out an aggravated sigh. “I'll sleep when I'm dead.”

“We both know you near a clear head to win a war,” he said, gently. His talon gently stroking her hand. “You should get some shut eye... besides, I know where you sleep. I'll wake you if anything comes up.

“But that's the problem,” she said, quietly. “I'll not sleeping.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can't sleep. I'm either laying awake with a thousand 'what ifs' running through my brain, or I crash and have terrible nightmares... nightmare. The same one, over and over. And before you start, I've spoken to Chakwas.” Shepard paused, finally turning to look at him. “She thinks I have PTSD. She's actually surprised I didn't have it after Cerberus resurrected me... guess I just didn't have time to think about it. Six months in lock up certainly gave me that time, and then the reapers hit earth...”

Being pulled into a hug by an armoured turian wasn't the most comfortable thing in the galaxy, but Shepard still wrapped her arms around his torso in reply. She felt surprisingly numb, considering she'd just blurted out a secret she'd been trying to keep since boarding the Normandy again. She felt more than heard the comforting purr that rumbled in Garrus' sub-harmonics, and tears pricked her eyes when he whispered.

“Alright. How about we both go to your cabin, if you don't mind me using your console, I can get the troops moving whilst you have a shower. I'm sure Liara or Vega won't mind keeping an eye on things whilst we get some rest...I bet EDI can get us that new Blasto movie that's just been released.”

So they did just that. Both Liara and James were eager to help, the former assuring she'd watch over the ship and crew, whilst the latter insisted on making Shepard something to eat. Managing to 'subtly' let slip that she hadn't really been eating much since they left Earth, and she refused to let Garrus' startled look make her feel guilty... she'd had no time to eat, barely getting a chance to grab a ration bar whilst she worked. But she dutifully sat and eat a surprisingly delicious Patatas Bravas that the behemoth whipped up for her, before her and Garrus made their way up to her cabin. Thankfully, other than pulling her into another hug the moment the elevator doors closed, he said nothing about her lapse in eating habits. However, Shepard didn't like the silence... it gave her too much time to think.

“I know you don't have an illusions about what we're up against, Garrus,” she sighed. “How do you rate our chances?”

He held her tighter. “I know it looks bad now, but I think we can win this, Shepard. For the first time since we met, we're not alone in the fight. Instead of questioning your every word, whole civilisations are going to be begging you to save them. I can't imagine the burden you feel, but I'll be beside you every step of the way. We'll do this, Shepard. We'll defeat the reapers.”

“After what's happened to Palaven, you still believe that?”

“I didn't say their wouldn't be casualties. It's something turians are taught from birth...” he said, nuzzling her temple. “If just one survivor is left standing at the end of a war, then the fight was worth it. But you humans want to save everyone. I find that admirable about you, but in this war, that's not going to happen.”

The elevator doors slid open at her cabin, and Garrus' arm remained a comforting anchor around her shoulders as they walked in side. Shepard gave a half heart wave towards her terminal, her way of saying 'help yourself', before she practically stumbled into her shower room; not even bothering to grab a change of clothes first... so perhaps Garrus was right and she needed sleep, but a shower seemed much more appealing. So after dumping her clothes in a haphazard pile for once, Shepard turned the shower up as hot as she could stand it, before stepping into the scolding spray.

She had no idea how long she'd been in there, but obviously long enough for Garrus to politely knock on the door before cautiously coming into the shower room, and leaning against the sink. Shepard gave him a tired smile, not at all bothered about her naked state, considering their night before the Omega Four Relay. She'd be lying if she said having him join her in the shower hadn't crossed her mind... more than once. But if he was going to act like seeing her wet and naked wasn't doing anything for him, Shepard would play it cool too.

“So what's this reaper task force you've been running?” she asked, innocently.

Garrus' mandibles twitched, before he said: “After the collector base, I knew time was running out. For all of us. The citadel council was a dead end, so I did something I thought I'd never do. I went to my father.”

“He used to work for C-Sec, didn't he? I seem to remember the two of you didn't see eye to eye,” Shepard said, reaching for some shampoo.

“To put it mildly,” he replied. “But he still had heavy pull in the turian government. The Primarch... well, the old one... was a friend of his. So I went to my father and laid out everything we knew about the reapers. From Saren all the way to the collector base.”

Shepard huffed a laugh. “Let me guess, he laughed in your face.”

Garrus shook his head, but Shepard caught the way he eagerly watched as she tipped her hair back to rinse the suds out. She turned her back to him, cocking her hip to the side to showcase her waist, as she reached for her soap and sponge.

“Amazingly no, he just listened,” he explained. “My father may have been a pain in the ass about rules and regulations, but he never let politics cloud his judgement. If the connections were there, he wouldn't deny them. And he saw what we always knew... the reapers were coming.”

“I'm glad someone finally agreed,” she said, beginning to spread the lather over her body.

“He did more than agree. He took it to the Primarch,” Garrus continued, though his voice was starting to sound a little strained.

"I like his style.”

“Except the Primarch wasn't as convinced. My father kept pushing, and finally got him to commit some token resources,” he told her. “And if you call them a 'task force', it sounds like you actually did something about it.”

“What did you do with it?”

“As much as I could get away with... and a little more,” he replied, his voice sounding a little huskier than usual.

Shepard chose that moment to glance over her shoulder at him. “So... you going to keep standing there, or are you going to join me?”

Garrus' mandibles flared in a wide grin. “I thought you'd never ask.”

 


	70. Chapter 70

If it hadn't been for how Shepard avidly watched his every move, Garrus would have been embarrassed by how quickly he stripped from his armour and under clothes. He'd been dying to join he since he first stepped foot in the shower room, and oh how he'd wanted to film her. But he cared about Shepard far too much to break that sort of trust... though that didn't stop him wondering he he should ask her permission next time. But that was a thought for later, right then he had his stunning human girlfriend gloriously naked, warm and wet, and _finally_ pressed against his bare hide. He gave a rumbling purr of satisfaction as she wrapped her arms around his torso, whilst the startlingly hot water rained down on them.

There hadn't been a night since their one time together, that Garrus hadn't fantasised about having her naked skin against his again, but the universe had been against them. Each day that passed whilst she was in custody, was another day he fell a little more in love with her, despite not even being able to speak to each other. When news of Earth had reached him, Garrus had been genuinely terrified he wouldn't see Shepard again... that he'd never get the chance to tell her how he felt. It was so far passed friends with benefits, it wasn't even funny. And though he'd been elated and relieved to see her on Menae, he'd been worried; scared she didn't feel the same. But by some miracle, Shepard had wanted to make a go of them, even called him her boyfriend which seemed so Juvenal at times, but made him fight a stupid grin every time.

Since coming onboard the Normandy, Garrus had been desperate to catch a moment alone with Shepard... to properly reunite with her. Though in a shower was not how he'd pictured their reunion to go. He'd been carrying that wine around with him so long, a beacon of hope that he'd see her again. Garrus had planned to wrangle a little bit of shore leave, even a couple of hours so he could actually take Shepard on a date, spoil her like she deserved. He'd planned for them to retire back to her cabin afterwards, expensive wine in hand. He'd imagined they'd sip a glass each, stealing kisses and gentle caresses, with that soft music Shepard liked playing in the background. Eventually, he'd carry her to her bed before stripping her bare...

But he had a very naked Shepard pressed up against him in the real world; the real world where his girlfriend was trying to suppress a wince, every time she craned her neck to look him in the eye.

An affectionate chuckle escaped him, as he slowly turned her round so her back was to his chest. Garrus' heart swelled with the fact she didn't even question his motives, just trusted him. He pressed his mouth plates to her shoulder in silent thanks, before her set his talons to her soft skin, kneading her flesh and massaging the tired muscles beneath. The water let his hands slide over her body, and he was never more thankful that he'd kept his talons trimmed and filed. Her head dropped forward, and Garrus took a moment to admire the cut of her shoulder blades as his hands moved lower down her back. His talons traced down the curve of her spine, gently messaging each tender muscle in turn. When he slowly grazed her waist, Shepard let out a soft sigh, and moved her head back to rest against his carapace. The line of her neck was almost begging to be licked, and Garrus couldn't resist.

He growled softly making her shiver, as her questing fingers reached behind her, finding the seam of his plates. She stroked expertly, and easily coaxed him out, both of her hands wrapping around his length and starting a slow slide as his talons teased their way up her toned abdomen, along her ribs and across her full breasts, before his palms smoothed down the same path. When his hand reached her apex, Shepard moved to grant him better access, an Garrus used a single talon to circle the small bundle of nerves there. She gasped, her back arching as one of her hands left his length to tease the sensitive spot beneath his fringe.

He playfully nipped her shoulder as he sped up his ministrations, causing Shepard to increase the tempo of her once leisurely strokes. The scent of her arousal skyrocketed, and he wrapped a supportive arm around her waist just as her breathing started to come in short pants. Then all of sudden she tensed in his arms, a strangled gasp barely audible before she sagged against him. Garrus couldn't help the soft chuckle that escaped him, pleased he'd been able to give Shepard some release, though it turned into a groan as he had found his length again.

“Shepard...” he said, his voice almost a growl. “This wasn't how I wanted our reunion to go.”

“What did you have in mind then?” she asked, a smile in her voice.

Garrus licked up the column of her throat. “I believe the human phrase is 'wine and dine', but you're making it very hard for me...”

Shepard chuckled. “I should hope so.”

He huffed an amused sigh that turned into another groan, as she ground her rear against his obvious arousal. She was going to be the end of him. Almost of their own volition, his hands found her supple waist, his talons flexing as she ground back again.

“Shepard...”

“I want you,” she said, glancing back over her shoulder at him. “Right now. Consider it pre-reunion sex if you want. But I need you.”

Garrus' resolve nearly broke at the look in her vivid green eyes. “I don't have...”

He sucked in a surprised breath as Shepard was suddenly surrounded by the soft blue glow of her biotics. She let go of his length to reach behind him, and Garrus couldn't help following the movement, his mandibles flaring in shock when he watched her use a well controlled Pull to open a drawer near the sink, then a Lift to raise a prophylactic from inside. She curled her fingers again, Pulling the metallic wrapper through the air to where Garrus could catch it. He shook his head, nuzzling her temple as he rolled on the protection. However, Shepard still had her back to him, so he had to ask:

“Are you sure... like this?”

“I had a lot of free time to fantasise,” she admitted, smirking.

Garrus growled at the admission, making her shiver again. So he wasted no time slipping a hand between her legs to prepare her, and flared his mandibles in a satisfied grin when he discovered she was more than ready... at least, according to his extranet research. Though just to be sure, he slowly slid a talon inside her, purring in satisfaction when Shepard moaned before opening her legs wider for him. He stroked himself in time to the languid trust of his talon inside her, almost drunk off the realisation she was giving him control of the situation... that she trusted him that much.

“Would you brace your hands against the wall for me,” he asked, in a low rumble.

The hot water continued to rain down on them as she followed his request, and not for the first time, Garrus wished he'd kept his visor on so he could record this. Unfortunately it wasn't waterproof and he hadn't asked... but it was something to consider later. Right then, he had more important things to attend to. Like driving his girlfriend crazy. So he twisted his wrist, and crooked his talon just so, dragging the most wanton moan from Shepard he could ever imagine. He growled in reply, continuing his precise thrusts unlike he smelt her arousal spike again.

The exact moment her posture stiffened and she gasped, Garrus withdrew his talon before he quickly moved to hilt inside her. Spirits! She felt amazing. But he knew he wouldn't be able to drag it out any longer. He needed her, wanted her far too much. So after a few experimental thrusts, quietly checking he wasn't too forcefully and only getting a satisfied moan in reply, Garrus set a punishing pace. One hand settling tightly on her hip, whilst the other slid to that sensitive bundle of nerves again. After just a handful of powerful trusts, Shepard began to pulse around him as she gasped her third climax. Garrus pressed his mouth plates against the crook of her to muffle his growl as he found his own release. Unable to stay upright, they both slid to the floor, with Garrus still hilted inside her. Shepard rested her forehead on her forearms that leant against the wall, before huffing a small laugh.

“Screw wining and dining, just fuck me senseless every night.”

Though surprised at her statement, Garrus couldn't help chuckling with her... though he also couldn't help his hand slipping between her legs again, to playfully stroke that bundle of nerves and make her gasp. He twitched inside her as he moved to whisper in her ear.

“I'm sure that can be arranged.”

 


	71. Chapter 71

It was with a sense of duty, instead of any real desire on her part, that Shepard went to pay a visit to Alenko when they docked at the Citadel. Chakwas accompanied her, stating she needed to talk to Doctor Michael about supplies, but Shepard was fairly sure the older woman was only coming to offer her moral support... after all, the night before Ilos had become something infamous among the original crew.

Everyone knew how much effort had gone into throwing Alenko out of her cabin, and understood why Shepard wasn't comfortable being alone with the man. But with Garrus needing to check the emergency housing for his people, Nihlus off station helping Hackett with the Crucible, Liara reuniting with her 'father', Joker needing to accompany EDI and her new body so no-one attacked her on the Citadel, and Shepard's own wish to keep James out of it... in case the poor sod ever had to work with Alenko again... there was no one really left to accompany her.

Still, she was Commander-fucking-Shepard, honorary member of clan Urdnot. And as much as she wanted Chakwas to go in with her, she knew she had an imagine to uphold. So following Jack's sage advice of 'take your balls out of your purse and kick some ass', Shepard strolled into Alenko's hospital room faking a confidence she didn't feel, and even managed to nod polite to Udina who left as she entered.

Alenko... looked like shit, even though he kept insisting it was medical red tape that was keeping him there. How Shepard managed to stop herself from rolling her eyes was beyond even her, but she patiently sat and listened to Alenko until...

“So, I want to make sure, after Mars, after Horizon. You and me, we good?”

Trying to remain calm, Shepard sat back in her chair, propping her boots against the metal frame of the hospital bed, so that she could hid how her hands curled into fists with her raised knees.

“Sure. For now, we're good,” she managed to say, evenly. “Is there anything else?”

“Yeah. Maybe... Was there something between you and Garrus?”

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose, dropping her feet back to the floor. “You're fucking kidding me.”

“Look... Shepard. It's okay, I can forgive you... for cheating. I know you had no choice before Ilos, and if there was something between you and Garrus...”

“Enough!” she spat, getting to her feet. “For a start, there wasn't something between me and Garrus, there _is_ something between us. He is... _everything_ I could ever want and more. And for the last time, Nihlus didn't force me into anything. It was two friends mutually enjoying themselves.”

“No... Shepard, you and me, we...”

Shepard had been so blinded by her anger that she hadn't heard someone else enter the room, however she whirled around the moment she felt someone's hand on her shoulder. Her fists were up ready to defend herself, but thankfully her brain was quicker than her brawn, and Shepard ended up throwing her arms around their neck instead.

“Thane! It's so good to see you. What are you doing here?” she smiled, genuinely happy to see the drell.

“In general, my condition has worsened and Kolyat convinced me the hospital was where I'd get the best care,” he explained, hugging her back. “As for this precise moment, I heard your voice and I came to offer assistance.”

“Shepard, who is this?” Alenko asked, sounding annoyed. “Can you get them to leave, we were in the middle of talking.”

Shepard kept an arm around Thane's shoulders as she turned back towards her fellow marine, and thankfully the drell kept one arm around her waist; grounding her... knowing Thane, that was exactly what he'd been intending.

“A dear friend who helped me stop the collectors,” she stated, proudly.

“You are too kind, Siha,” Thane said, before turning his onyx gaze to Alenko. “And I can tell you with certainty that you were not talking. You were accusing Shepard of things you have no right to do so.”

“How do you... you don't know...” Alenko sputtered.

“I know that to Garrus, Shepard is everything my Irikah is to me. To see them together, whether on the battlefield or quieter moments, they are two bodies with one soul,” Thane stated, calmly. “Anyone can clearly see the love and respect he has for her, just from the way he watches her, not to mention his unwavering loyalty and devotion. And I am in no doubt that his feelings are returned.” He paused to smile at Shepard. “You and Garrus are perhaps the only friends I have in the galaxy, it was a joy to see you both finally realise your feelings. If anyone deserves happiness in this universe, it is the two of you.”

 


	72. Chapter 72

Almost instinctively, Garrus looked up the moment he smelt his ma... Shepard's scent. His train of though trailed off as he took in her surprisingly slumped shoulders, and the face she barely managed to twitch her lips into a tiny smile, when he excused himself from the conversation he was having in order to greet her. She looked... exhausted.

“I saw Thane at the hospital,” Shepard said by way of greeting.

“How... is he,” Garrus asked, cautiously.

“It's not looking good,” she replied, quietly. “Guess Mordin was too busy curing the genophage to tackle Kepral's.”

Not caring that they were in the middle of the docks that was masquerading as civilian housing, Garrus stepped into her personal space and pressed his forehead to hers. He could hear surprised, sub-harmonic trills and more audible gasps all around them, and for a split second he cursed himself. Sure Shepard called him her boyfriend, but that was onboard the Normandy; their home.

They'd never discussed making their relationship public, and Garrus wasn't a fool... turian-human couples were rare, and with Shepard status as the first human Spectre and widely seen as humanity's golden girl, not to mention the galaxy's best hope... he really should have asked her first. So when she pulled back, Garrus clamped down on his sub-harmonics, determined not to let his disappointment out; he did understand after all. But he couldn't control the pleased rumble that escaped him when instead of stepping away, Shepard leant up to softly kiss his scared mandible.

“Thanks, Hot Shot,” she sighed. “I really needed that.”

“Any time, Shepard,” he smiled. “Are you alright?”

“I've been better,” she admitted, candidly. Before glancing around. “What's happening?”

“We convinced the council to accept our wounded. Nowhere else to go,” he reported, standing to attention.

“How bad is it?”

“More dead than wounded. Eighty five percent killed in action...,” he explained, before gesturing off to the side.

Shepard understood immediately, leading the way to a more secluded spot. “Garrus?”

“We'll need a morgue soon. Not a lot of flesh wounds when your fighting reapers.”

“Fuck! That's not war. That's slaughter,” she growled.

“They're called reapers for a reason,” Garrus sighed, tiredly.

“Just do what you can for them, and let me know if there's anything I can do to help.”

Shepard's hands reached for his talons, squeezing reassuringly, and Garrus dropped his forehead to hers once again.

“Any sign of your family?” she asked, quietly.

Garrus keened, softly. “Not yet. But I keep hoping.” He paused to tilt her chin up so he could look at her. “Tell me, what about you? You're still beautiful, but I'm starting to see some wear and tear.”

She huffed a laugh. “That's a nice way to say I look like shit. But I won't lie... it's been rough. And today hit quite a bit harder than I expected it to.”

He nuzzled her temple. “Don't forget to come up for air, and not just because all these people need you. Because I need you.”

“I need you too, Garrus,” she whispered.

Not caring if anyone saw, he wrapped his arms around her to pull her close. “I'll always be with you, Shepard. Always.”

 


	73. Chapter 73

A day... one stinking, fucking day. Just one day since they were last on the Citadel, only leaving the station to attempt some smash and grab runs in reaper controlled territory, whilst their supply order was filled. And in one fucking day, all hell broke lose and yet another dear friend was dead.

Thane had died a hero, or that's what the council was stating. To Shepard, he had already been a hero... and a close friend. But at least she could be with him in his last moments, she'd been there to hug and comfort his son, like she'd wished someone had been there for her when she'd discovered her own father's passing; since her mother had also been away on a mission at the time. She'd barely managed to hold it together for Kolyat's sake, reassuring the young drell she'd take care of the funeral expenses for him, and extracting a promise from him to keep in touch.

Whilst she'd been with them, Shepard had sent Garrus and Liara to meet with the council in her stead, and she was more than a little surprised when they'd all stood to greet her, when she entered Bailey's office... the Quentius even poured a glass of dual-chivalry whiskey for her, which Shepard sipped numbly. _Spectre_ Alenko was conspicuously absent, and she was more than relieved. She had no patience with dealing with that ass-hole any longer. Sure, he'd listened to the end, and stepped out the way for her to shoot Udina. But a heartbeat longer, and Shepard would have shot him. She was pretty sure both Garrus and James had been pretty close behind her.

The next few hours was spent with the seven on them hashing out new defence strategies for the Citadel. Bailey gratefully taking any advice Shepard had on Cerberus and the reapers in general, and eager to hear if Garrus had any ideas to improve C-Sec's response. Liara offered some monitoring software upgrades, quickly assuring the council that the 'Shadow Broker' was as much for defeating the reapers as anyone else in the galaxy. The meeting ended with Quentius thanking Shepard for not only saving his life, but brokering a deal between the turians and krogans that he never thought possible, as well as the asari and salarian councillor's pledging their people's co-operation; the latter adding that she would like to hold a memorial service for Thane, as soon as the Citadel was back in some sort of order.

Thane was on Shepard's mind as she headed for the Presidium, and ordered another name plate from the Citadel Gift Shop. It was the same asari that had made Mordin's plaque only the other day, and surprised Shepard by coming around the counter to hug Shepard, once the engraving was done. Garrus had been with her throughout, and silently steered her towards Apollo's, where Atheta took one look at her before mixing them the strongest drinks on the house, and ushered them to a table by the lake. The moment they were alone, Garrus reached across the table for her hand.

“Hell of a day,” he sighed, tiredly. “Udina loses his mind, the Citadel almost falls... and you almost had to put down a... friend.”

Shepard huffed a humourless laugh. “After everything he'd done, he's never been a friend, but I understand your sentiment.”

“If it had come down to it, could you have pulled the trigger?” he asked, quietly.

“Yes.” There was no hesitation in her answer.

“I'll remember that next time we argue.”

She playfully kicked his foot under the table. “We never fight, you dork. But you know what I mean... he was endangering the council. There was no do or die situation looming over him, sure Cerberus was attacking the station, but there wasn't a reaper _literally_ hanging over their heads. There were other Spectres he could have called for back up. I mean what was he thinking? Did he really not find it suspicious he was the only one protecting the councillors? How the hell was he going to protect _four_ of them if Cerberus actually got close?”

Garrus squeezed her fingers. “Breathe, Shepard. It's alright. We stopped them. You, me, Vega, Thane and Bailey. We stopped them, put Cerberus back on the run. You took down Udina. The council is safe. The citadel is secure again. Breathe.”

Shepard hadn't realised how tense she had gotten, or how fast her breathing had become, until she was focusing on his calming voice. They sat in silence, Shepard matching Garrus' slow breathes, until the panic she hadn't fully realised she felt began to subside. His talons were drawing soothing patterns on the inside of her wrist, though as pleasant as it was, Shepard still raised an eyebrow at him. Smirking when his mandibles quivered almost nervously.

“I... ah... may have discussed what you told me... about the reason you don't sleep... with Chakwas,” he practically stammered. “I... um... wanted to know how I could... eh... help. If I was with you when it got bad. I didn't mean to upset or offend you, Shepard, I...”

His rambling was cut off when Shepard stood to be able to wrap her arms around his shoulders. The angle was a little awkward thanks to his cowl, which was why she usually hugged Garrus around the torso, but she was just so _thankful_ for him, she couldn't wait. She heard his little gasp of surprise, and pressed her lips against his good mandible, when his arms cautiously slide around her in reply. Shepard pulled back just enough to kiss the start of his fringe, before she pressed her forehead to his.

“That... is possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” she murmured.

Garrus huffed out a laugh. “Then your exes leave a lot to be desired. You need to get a better taste in men, Shepard.”

“I did,” she said, smiling affectionately. “I got you.”

 


	74. Chapter 74

Dios! That bastardo was more loco than James had originally thought. He'd only caught the tail end of what Major Tightass and Lola were discussing and almost made a quite exit because obviously, she'd have something to say to that mamahuevo who pulled a gun on her. But then James heard that hijo de las mil putas question Lola about putting that dirty bastardo Udina down, then ask to join the Normandy again... which, hell no.

“Are you fucking kidding?” James demanded, at exactly the same time Lola did.

Lola glanced over her shoulder at him to offer a smile, which made the sleeve of her oversized N7 hoodie slip off her shoulder, revealing the tattoo she'd obviously got in honour of Scars. Major Tightass glared at it for a moment, before his gaze move to scowl at him.

“We were talking,” the man grit out.

James huffed an unamused laughed. “No, el cabrón, you weren't. You were spouting bullshit.” He paused to turn to his CO. “Sorry if I'm out of line Lola, and I know I wasn't there for whatever went down on Horizon. But I was there for Mars, I was there with Udina. So you can kick my sorry ass later, but...”

Lola chuckled, her hand coming to rest companiably on her shoulder. “You're good, James, and you're right. You were there for Mars and Udina. What's on your mind?”

“That this pendejo can't be trusted,” he said, crossing his arms. “It's your call, Lola. You know I'm behind you every step of the way. But I won't lie, I wouldn't be comfortable with the major at my back. I wouldn't be comfortable with him at _your_ back either, and I know I'm not the only one who'd feel that way.”

“You're going to let your judgement be swayed by what... some kid lieutenant who has a bad case of hero worship. Does your prescious Garrus know you're fucking this meathead too?” the bastardo spat.

James dropped into a fighting stance, just as Lola began to glow with biotic energy. It was probably pretty comical how they both decided to shout at the pendejo in defense of the other, but it was a turian chuckle that held them both in check. James relaxed his posture miniutly, to offer Scars a tense nod in greeting, whilst Lola simply focused her biotics into her fists, so she could step backwards to lean against the turian's amoured chest. But to James' surprise, Scars didn't just rest a possessive hand on Lola's hip, he slung an around his shoulders as well.

“What makes you think Shepard's the only one fucking him?” Scars drawled.

Unable to help it, James sputtered in surprise, but didn't pull away. He understood Scars was getting his own revenge, and messing with the mamahuevo's head was probably much better than letting their brawn do the talking... a little loco, but James supposed everything that happened around Lola was a little loco. Why would revenge be any different. So he knew he was going to play along, even if Lola's amused chuckle made him blush like a school boy.

“Why is it only Shepard who gets that sort of reaction from you?” Scars grinned.

James smirked at him, confidently. “Probably because Lola's the only one who's learnt how to push all my buttons?”

“Is that a challenge?” Scars chuckled.

“Now that's something I can't wait to see,” Lola purred.

She moved in between them, linking her arms through theirs before gently tugging them towards the Normandy's airlock, leaving a sputtering major in their wake. But as Scars palmed the lock and James moved to let Lola inside first, she stopped to glance over her shoulder at the pendejo.

“I suggest you contact Admiral Hackett, take him up on the job offer Alenko, as I already knew my decision before James showed up. You've never had my back. You've doubted and tried to undermine me at every step, even on the SR1. I do not trust you. I don't trust you to have my back, and I certainly don't trust you with my crew... my family. You are not welcome on my ship. So once and for all, good bye, major.”

“ _Commander_ ,” the bastardo spat.

“Actually, it's also Major,” Doc said, sauntering from the docks. “Hackett promotted her when he officially signed the Normandy back over to her. There's already speculation on them promoting her to Admiral, not to mention she's now the council's top agent.”

James laughed. “Now that'd be a thing... Admiral Shepard.”

“Wasn't krogan Battlemaster enough for you, Shepard?” Scars drawled. 

“I hate you all...” Shepard muttered.

Doc breezed passed them into the air lock, smiling cryptically. “We love you too, Shepard.”

 


	75. Chapter 75

Regardless of her run in with Alenko, Shepard felt in pretty high spirits when she led James, Garrus and Liara through the airlock. Though she couldn't help sighing a little in relief at being back on the Normandy. Despite the original SR1 being blown up, and the SR2 being invaded by collectors, nowhere ever felt as safe as her beloved ship. And it was just being on the Normandy that settled something in Shepard's chest, it was the people on board; the friends that had become family. So she grinned widely when Joker swivelled in his chair to face her.

“So Cerberus wanted to go into politics, huh? Nice job shutting those assholes down,” the pilot said by way of greeting.

“Didn't we use to work for those assholes?” Garrus said, deadpan.

“Yeah... something about 'leather seats', ring any bells?” Shepard teased.

Joker huffed a laugh. “We worked _with_ Cerberus when they were vigilantes helping the helpless.”

“Hmm... that does seem to fit the bill of a turian codenamed Archangel,” Liara said, almost sweetly. “And a rogue spectre who cheated death.”

“Ace pilot too,” Shepard added, winking at Joker.

“Think I heard about them,” James chimed in, folding his arms. “Got some real big cojones.”

“Cerberus don't. Which is why they went a little too main stream... and evil,” Joker retorted, before raising an eyebrow at Shepard. “And talking of assholes... I hope Major Alenko is happy with his new post.”

Shepard bit back a smirk. “It's wartime. We all go where we're ordered to.”

“Understood,” Joker nodded. “Though just for the record...”

To Shepard's amazement, the pilot heaved himself up out of his chair and limped over to stand directly in front of her. Her mouth nearly fell open when Joker snapped off a pretty smart salute; she didn't think she'd ever seen him salute _anyone_ before, not even Admirals. And being his CO meant Shepard knew Joker was exempt from the usual required gesture, due to his Vrolick's Syndrome. To see him willingly saluting her, knowing how much pain it must cause him... unexpected tears pricked her eyes and a lump formed in her throat.

“Jeff...” she barely managed to whisper.

"Somebody needs to give you the respect you deserver, Major,” he told her, seriously.

“Buen hombre!” James agreed, before snapping off his own salute. “Who's like us?”

“Damn few and they're all dead,” Shepard and Joker said at the same time.

Garrus flared his mandibles, before stage whispering to Liara: “I think this is one of those human things.”

Shepard was about to tell him where to shove it, the retort already on the tip of her tongue, when she caught the serious look in his eye. It pulled her up short, since it wasn't a look she ever saw on his face unless they were talking about the reapers.

“Though Joker's right, Shepard,” he continued, before saluting her himself.

She couldn't stop the happy tears from rolling down her cheeks as she looked between three of the most important men in her life, and hiccuped back a sob that wanted to escape, when Liara stepped forward. The asari had her hands in front of her, facing upwards, a faint blue glow of biotics already surrounding her hands.

“My people don't really salute as a race, but this is how we show our respect,” she said, a little shyly.

Shepard managed to smile, recognising the gesture from something Thane had taught her; since drell also used a similar the greeting. So she let her hands hover over Liara's, palms down, and let her own biotic energy mix with her friend's. The asari's more indigo energy danced with her own cyan colour biotics, creating quite a light show.

“Dios! That's cool,” James chuckled.

“Trust the asari to do something so flamboyant,” Garrus drawled.

“Thank you, all of you,” Shepard whispered, as she reigned in her biotics.

“So, now all this heart felt bonding is gone, I'm going to go back to my chair,” Joker grumbled, already limping away. “You know, in case we get a call from the council, and you need me to hang up on them again.”

 


	76. Chapter 76

Garrus chuckled softly as Shepard groaned as her shoulders submerged into the scented, bubbling water of her jacuzzi bath. He leant on the door frame, his mandibles flared in a soft smile, watching how she lolled her head against the rim of the sunken tub. Not even bothering to look at him, Shepard raised an arm out of the hot, fragrant water to beckon him over... and who was Garrus to say no to her. After what she'd been through today...

Hackett ordering them on mandatory shore leave had been surprising enough, Anderson gifting Shepard his retirement apartment had been shocking; and no one had been more startled than she had been, if her frantic call to him just minutes after she'd spoke to her godfather was anything to go by. But that still wasn't the weirdest thing that had happened to her... to them... that day.

The enter crew and probably most of the Citadel had heard how Shepard had fallen through the fish tank, at the most prestigious restaurant on the station. Fallen and nearly died, considering she'd been wearing nothing but a tight fitting leather dress that Garrus wished he'd seen his girlfriend in. However, it was Joker she'd gone to meet at the sushi place, and Liara who'd managed to rendezvous with Shepard at the skycar lot; along with Wrex of all people.

Sure, Garrus had been the one who she chose to infiltrate the casino with, and he'd been more than relieved a few old C-Sec buddies still held him in high regard, since he'd had to borrow a suit from Chellick to fit in with the 'black tie' code. Shepard had looked stunning in the floor length, black gown she and Liara had whipped up from somewhere... the somewhere being the closet at the apartment that contained some of Anderson's and Kahlee's old belongings. Garrus knew everyone at the casino had been looking at the pair of them, wondering how a turian like him got a woman like her. Spirits! He couldn't blame them, he thought the same thing every damn day.

Things just got really weird from there on in. Breaking into the Citdael archives with almost all the current crew and Wrex to help, discovering Shepard had a clone... because why the hell not, it was Cerberus that brought her back. Who was evil... because of course she was. Him, Shepard and Wrex has fought side by side just like the old days, though getting locked in a vault with little chance of escape had been new. Their bickering... not so much, and Garrus couldn't believe how calm they both were with impending death by suffocation hanging over their heads. Wrex had later told him he hadn't been concerned because he knew Shepard always had a plan... before adding the more sobering thought that he'd been trying to keep her mind off their situation. After all, she'd suffocated to death once already.

Garrus had keened softly at that realisation, but as much as he'd wanted to pull his girlfriend into his arms and never let go, they had a clone to stop and a ship to rescue. And just to add to the weirdness of it all, a sonic toothbrush was probably the hero of the day. Which really, Garrus was kind of beyond being surprised at that point. Weird shit just seemed to happen around Shepard even when she was just trying to catch a break.

So he wasn't terribly shocked when after fighting with her clone, rolling down the opened hanger hatch with said clone... resulting in him and Wrex rushing to haul her back onto solid ground... that Shepard almost calmly walked over to where her clone was still hanging over the drop, and shot the imitation at point blank range in the face with her shotgun. Her face was eerily passive as she watched her clone fall to the Citadel ward below, and the look didn't change when she shot a fleeing Brooks in the back of the head. Steve had quietly muttered that Shepard was probably in shock after everything that happened, which Garrus could easily understand but didn't know what he could do to help.

So whilst Joker had gone to pilot the Normandy back to the dock, with Wrex and Cortez offering to set the hanger back in some sort of order, Garrus had silently followed Shepard as she'd rode the elevator up to the CIC, retrieved her beloved 'Admiral', before riding the lift finally up to her cabin. Though it probably wasn't the time or place, Garrus couldn't help snapping a sneaky picture with his visor of his illustrious girlfriend, rubbing noses with small ball of space fluff, before she put the hamster back in his cage and on the shelf where he belonged.

Garrus seized the opportunity then, and tugged Shepard so hard into a hug that their armours clanged together. He nuzzled her temples, pressed his forehead to hers and even pressed his mouth plates to her lips, just to reassure himself that she was okay, that she was whole. His worry must have been more than evident, because Shepard let him help her remove her armour before they grabbed a sedate shower together. Simply wanting to hold each other, as the warm water washed off their weirdest mission to date.

Dressed in civilian wear; him in a plain navy suit and Shepard in her favourite jeans, combat boots, white tank and ridiculously oversized N7 hoodie, they'd joined Wrex, Cortez and Joker at the hanger, so they could reunite with the rest of the team plus Traynor. Garrus fully agreed with Wrex... 'just us' sounded pretty perfect, and although Shepard readily agreed with Joker's proposition to hold a party at her new apartment, things were never that easy.

She received a message for Kolyat; Thane's son, asking for her help to hold a memorial for his father. Of course Shepard jumped at the chance, and though Garrus worried for her, he couldn't fault his girlfriend... he knew how much the drell's death was weighing on her. So within a few hours of re-docking, Shepard held a tasteful memorial for Thane. What she said was beautiful, and none of the gathered crew could fault her for calling the assassin a brother. Garrus felt the need to add that Thane wasn't an assassin to him... to them... he was a partner. Once again, no one disputed the fact. Even James who had only met the drell the day he died, sung the man's praises, saying he regretted not having the chance to know him further. Garrus hoped their words would bring comfort to Kolyat, who didn't have the best relationship with his father, but Thane had tried to mend that bridge, and it was obvious it had been working. But damned Cerberus ruined that chance for them, and Garrus vowed to be with Shepard when she got vengeance for Thane.

The rest of the evening had been less official, the gathered crew who knew Thane regaled stories for Kolyat... and oddly the salarian councillor. Shepard somehow had photos from the odd crew night they'd had together, and everyone enjoyed reminiscing about the lighter times during their last suicide run. But eventually the night wound down. Kolyat and the councillor were the last to leave, bar him, and Garrus had no intention of leaving his girlfriend alone that night. Thankfully, it seemed Shepard had taken his presence a given, and had taken his hand and led him to her monstrous sized tub. They'd shed each other's clothing, stealing occasional kisses or nuzzles, but Garrus hadn't protested when she'd stepped away from him to sink into the inviting water.

Which was how they got to where they were, with Garrus gingerly stepping into the bubbling tub and pulling Shepard tight to his side. His hand rested possessively over the tattoo she'd gotten for him, and he nuzzled her temple as she let out a contented sounding sigh.

“Thanks... for having my back today,” she whispered. “I know it was a weird one.”

Garrus gave a soft chuckle. “No Shepard without Vakarian, remember?”

 


	77. Chapter 77

Shepard had thought she'd dreamt Garrus asking her out on an actual date, considering she'd been in the jacuzzi when he'd asked and she woke up in her bed hours later. But the datapad he'd left by her bedside reminding her of where they were meeting and the time, let Shepard know it had in fact been real. She couldn't help smiling at the thought; an actual date, after everything they'd been through. It was nice... it was novel... and Shepard had no idea what the hell she was supposed to wear, since Garrus had given her no clue what-so-ever of what he had planned. And since she knew there was no chance her boyfriend would give any secrets away, Shepard went over his head, and asked Liara.

Oh, she wasn't a bitch enough to ask their friend to ruin the surprise, but she really did need to know if she had to go dress shopping again, because she really didn't want to keep raiding Kahlee's wardrobe without permission. So Shepard heaved a sigh of relief when Liara not only reassured her that her usualy smart casual look would be fine, but also was an absolute sweetheart and sent over some of her things. Or at least Shepard thought that's what the asari meant, but the half a dozen shopping bags Steve turned up with told another story. Liara and EDI arrived shortly after, and Shepard genuinely had a good time modelling the outfits for her friends, until they unanimously voted for dark denim jeans, black knee high boots, and a slinky off the shoulder top in almost the same colour as Garrus' markings.

Steve surprised them all by hiring a make up artist to come over and reapply her semi-permanent eyebrows, lipstick and eyeliner so she no longer looked like some hungover racoon. EDI one-uped him by accident, gifting her a beautiful ring that the jeweller called his 'victory' design. It was stunning, and Shepard swallowed hard passed the lump in her throat, as she threaded it onto the chain with her dogtags and Eve's pendant. She finished her look with a simple pair of hooped earrings, then was ushered out the door by her friends. Steve insisted on dropping her off, and Shepard soon found herself smiling at Garrus; who was dressed in a navy version of the suit he'd worn to infiltrate the casino with her, and leant against a sporty silver skycar.

“Shepard, glad you came,” he greeted warmly.

“Hey there, Hot Shot,” she replied, trying to control her grin. “So... what do you have in mind?”

Garrus flared his mandibles in a wide smile before guiding her to the passenger side of the skycar, even going so far as to help her into the vehicle, before he slid into the drivers seat. His hand squeezed her knee affectionately as he lowered the hatch, before he casually revved the powerful engine, making her chuckle.

“Something that doesn't involve reapers... or Cerberus... or clones,” he drawled.

“I don't think anyone's conquered the bar yet,” Shepard retorted.

“I already scoped it out,” he teased, as he manoeuvred them out of the parking spot. “But then I thought, if this was my last day alive, I'd actually like to remember it.”

"So?”

“So I had an idea...” Garrus grinned.

“But where are we going?” she asked, not used to the suspense.

“Somewhere we're not supposed to,” he chuckled.

Shepard couldn't help smiling. “Now your talking...”

“Ever have that one thing you ever wanted to do before you die, Shepard?”

“I've woken up with a certain turian next to me,” she purred.

Garrus' hand returned to give her knee another gentle squeeze. “Still trying to make me blush, huh?”

“Until it works,” Shepard teased. “So what's your one thing?”

“Other than waking up to a certain human?” he drawled, flaring his mandibles in a turian smirk. “The whole time I worked at C-Sec, I'd stare up at the top of the Presidium and say to myself: I want to go up there. But I never did. There were a hundred and thirty seven regulations telling me I couldn't.”

She huffed a laugh. “So what, you abused your Advisor status to get them changed? Or had Nihlus do it?”

“No. Now I just don't give a damn.”

“Now there's that dangerous turian vigilante I fell for,” Shepard chuckled.

Garrus glanced at her quickly, his mandibles quivering almost nervously, which made her frown. But before she could ask what was wrong, the turian was skilfully parking them on a section of roof of the Citadel Tower. He hurried out of the skycar, before offering his hand to help Shepard out of her seat. He wouldn't quite meet her eyes, but at least he said quietly:

“Figured it's time to do something stupid just for the hell of it. Might be the last chance we ever get.”

Shepard almost gasped when she saw the red and white checked blanket spread out next to a wicker picnic basket, then nearly laughed, when she noticed Garrus favourite sniper rifle carefully placed not too far away, along with a small black box. But then her gaze was stolen by the view, the entire Presidium sprawling out below them with the artificial lake glistening in the recreated daylight... Shepard hadn't known the Citadel could look so stunning.

“It's incredible,” she whispered.

“I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope it would inspire a certain... mood,” Garrus admitted, almost nervously.

“Something on your mind?” Shepard asked, reaching for his hand.

Garrus took a moment to study how her fingers laced with his talons, before he took a step closer to her, and raised her hand so he could press his mouth plates to her knuckles. Shepard smiled up at him, her free hand moving to rest on his bicep as she waiting for him to talk.

“It seemed like you needed time to... figure us out,” he said, hesitantly.

Shepard frowned, suddenly upset. She'd thought she'd been making her feelings for the turian perfectly clear. Sure, they'd only had one opportunity to fully reconnect since being reunited, but Shepard had honestly thought she'd made herself pretty obvious.

“Garrus, if I've done anything...”

She was cut off as his forehead pressed against hers, and her breath hitched at the intensity in his gaze.

“I realised yesterday when we were in the archives that it was probably something lost in translation,” he admitted, quietly chuckling. “Funny how watching undisclosed footage of our people's first contact could put that in perspective.”

“So what are you trying to tell me, Garrus. Because I thought I'd been pretty up front with how much I care about you,” she told him, trying to keep the tremor out of her voice.

His eyes searched her face for a moment before he asked: “Are you ready to be a one-turian kind of woman?”

“Garrus, are you... are you asking me to marry you?” Shepard asked, shocked.

Instead of saying anything, her boyfriend simply nodded... looking like he was fully expecting her to say no at any minute.

“The only thing that made leaving Earth bearable was knowing you were out there somewhere,” she whispered.

“I felt the same way,” he admitted. “The worst part about the galaxy going to hell would've been never getting to see you again. When I realised that, I knew there was never going to be anyone else for me. So yes, Shep... _Lola_... I'm asking you to marry me.”

“I love you, Garrus Vakarain,” she told him, solemnly.

“Is that a yes?”

“As long as you're okay with being Mr Shepard-Vakarian?” she teased.

He looked stunned for a moment, before he quickly moved to grab her waist, pulling her close. Shepard was not expecting him to dramatically dip her backwards, like they were in some cheesy romance movie, but she loved every second of it. When his mandibles flared in a small smile, she couldn't help returning the gesture with a soft smile of her own. Her breath shuddered as Garrus pressed his mouth plates to her lips for a long moment, before he moved to press his forehead to hers in a turian version of a kiss as he murmured:

“You have no idea how happy you've made me, Mrs Shepard-Vakarian.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just a quick little heads up... In the past 42 days, I have wrote 77 chapters for this story alone. There have also been other stories I've done for this site, as well as many more projects away from writing, along with raising our two year old daughter whilst going through a very rough patch with my health. I am utterly burnt out right now, so I'm going to be taking a week off to just... decompress.


	78. Chapter 78

When Garrus had finally worked up the nerve to ask Shepard to marry him, he hadn't been entirely sure she'd say yes; mostly worried she'd be focused on the war raging around them... though he couldn't deny a small part of it was from still wondering what a woman like her saw in a turian like him. But she did say yes, and he was ecstatic, even if he had no idea what a human bonding ceremony entailed.

He'd done a little research, and found that there were _so_ many different types of human weddings... depending on the humans' religion and ethnicity... that it made Garrus' head spin. Of course he wanted a few turian traditions, the thought of Shepard wearing his clan markings just did it for him, but the rest he was happy to leave up to her. After all, everything he'd read said a 'wedding' was _supposed_ to be the most important day of a woman's life. Which made Garrus wonder why having children, getting a dream job, or leading the fight against a race of sentient machines wasn't more important. But he wasn't human he supposed.

So he was a little stunned... and a little relieved... when after saying yes, Shepard almost shyly asked if they could do it right away. As in right that moment. Garrus had grinned at her, his heart pounding as he queried if they could at least get changed first, since it was turian tradition to wear your favoured suit of armour. So she'd grabbed his hand, and tugged him back to the Skycar before piloting it herself back to the Normandy. Shepard smiled the entire journey, and Garrus was left to marvel just how the Spirits' he'd gotten so lucky.

It took a few minutes to convince the maintenance crew to let them in, sighting forgotten possessions, but eventually they were granted fifteen minutes to get in and get out. So Garrus hurriedly changed into his silver and blue armour, and his breathing hitched as he caught sight of Shepard in a set of Alliance Officer's Dress Blues. It was the first time he'd seen her in them, and damn if the sight didn't make his heart beat a little faster. Shepard smiled fondly at him, and readily laced her fingers with his talons as they made their way back to the Skycar. She didn't even protest his insistence on piloting, and twenty minutes later, they were touching down in an unassuming part of the wards near to where he use to live. There was a nice little multi-faith chapel that he'd attended a number of colleagues' ceremonies in, and he knew that they usually held a few spaces open for military couples who didn't have the opportunity to plan lavish ceremonies.

And for once, Shepard's... and his... notoriety helped them for once. The moment the turian female behind the reception desk noticed them, she immediately called for the asari cleric before assuring them they could fit them in, if that's what they were needing. The female's smile only got wider, when Shepard was the one to quickly assure her that was exactly what they were there for, and Garrus didn't even bother to hide the pride and excitement that rumbled in his sub-harmonics.

Once the asari cleric arrived, they were ushered into a side office so they could go through the legal documents... which mostly involved adding their finger prints to various forms; Shepard's had thankfully been reverted back to her own thanks to Liara... before they had a short chat about what sort of service they wanted. Shepard insisted she had no preferences as she held no faith, and insisted she'd had a band tattooed on her finger since rings were too impractically. Garrus had hesitantly confessed he'd like to paint his markings on her, before hurriedly assuring her he would understand if she didn't want to... she was human after all. However, he couldn't help chuckling when Shepard shrugged, saying she'd only get them if he'd only paint on side of her face. It was such a Shepard thing to do, that he couldn't help reaching to take her hand in his and raise her knuckles to press his mouth plates against them.

As it turned out, the markings he had nervously painted on the right side of Shepard's face were only symbolic, since the dye turians' used could have caused an allergic reaction, but the cleric had produced some blue face paint for him to use during their ceremony. Still, Garrus stared in awe for a moment whilst his Shepard... his mate... smiled up at him warmly, and he didn't resist snapping a quick holo of her with his visor. However, once their short ceremony was over with their vows to love and protect each other made, and their photo taken by an attentive camera-bot, Garrus had been surprised to find a second asari waiting for them in the reception.

Apparently, she was a make up artist who specialised in adapting cultural markings for other species, which meant that she could apply his clan markings on Shepard in semi-permanent make up. So they'd only need touching up every six months or so, just like his own markings. However, Garrus didn't even dare ask if it was something Shepard wanted, being able to paint his markings on her just once was more than he'd ever hoped for. Though as it turned out, his mate had her own ideas. She practically jumped at the chance, insisting the make up artist only apply the dye where he'd already done. Shepard wanted _his_ markings on her, even if they weren't perfect... which she insisted they were.

Though as they waited for the asari to mix up the correct pigment, Garrus couldn't help asking whey Shepard hadn't wanted to wait.

“With this war? I just didn't want to push our luck,” she said, squeezing his hand tight. “I don't want to waste a moment I could spend as your wife.”

Garrus let out a purr as he nuzzled her temple. “You know the crew is going to hate us?”

Shepard chuckled. “They can't lynch us if we throw them a massive party and tell them it's our wedding reception.”

“You're mate has a good point,” the make up artist agreed, as she walked back in the room.

He huffed out a laugh. “So... you'll be telling Liara?”

“Oh, so you want to be the one to tell Wrex?” she grinned, before schooling her face for the asari.

Garrus stepped away, already flicking open his Omni-Tool. “Alright, _I'll_ tell Liara then...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't due to be posting another chapter until Wednesday, but I'm still not in the best place to resume the crazy update schedule I've previously been doing. However, I didn't just want to take another week without giving you all something in the meantime. I hope you enjoyed this bit off fluff, and I will check in again next Wednesday (6th September).


	79. Chapter 79

“You got married and you didn't tell us?!”

Nihlus' mandibles spread in a wide grin as Joker yelled at the couple. He'd only been on the station for thirty minutes before he'd contacted Shepard; his old partner had told him to meet her on her refurbished ship, and he'd been excited to see her. The occasional extranet message just wasn't the same and he'd missed his stubborn human... his stubborn human who'd waltzed into the CIC holding Vakarian's hand, with his markings painted on one side of her face.

Nihlus couldn't help but laugh. Sure, he was a little disappointed they hadn't invited him... or even told him... but from Joker's reaction, Nihlus presumed _no one_ knew except the couple. Then again, he couldn't really blame them. With the war the way it was, Nihlus could see the appeal of a quick, intimate wedding. Not only with the high risk of death on every mission, the couple didn't even know where all their friends and family were.

So instead of yelling like the pilot did, Nihlus let his sub-harmonics rumble with happiness and understanding. He clapped a friendly hand on Vakarian's shoulder, before moving passed his fellow turian to reach Shepard. The human immediately let go of her mate's hand, so she wrap her arms around his torso. Nihlus chuckled, his sub-harmonics ringing with affection as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“Guess I need to find myself a new fuck buddy,” he grinned.

“I'm still available as wingman,” she shot back.

* * *

Jeff glared at Shepard, but the moment Nihlus let her go, he pulled her into a tight hug. So he might not be the most sensitive or culturally aware person around, but he did understand the significance of turians' markings. Shepard wearing Garrus' obviously meant something, and Jeff would make a pretty good wager the pair had gotten hitched.

“It's just with... and... um...”

Shepard's stilted words were accompanied by a frustrated sigh, and Jeff couldn't help chuckle. He got it. They'd suffered some personal loses to the war, and they still didn't know where all the friends and family were. So yeah, Jeff got it. But that still didn't mean he wasn't annoyed he wasn't at his best friend's bloody wedding.

“You are just going to owe us a huge party now,” he chuckled. “You know, make up for this deep and wounding betrayal.”

Shepard laughed, hugging him as tight as his stupid body would allow. “Who knows, might be you and EDI eloping next.”

Jeff gave her a final squeeze before stepping away, grinning. “Yeah, and I'll use you as bait then not invite you to be my best woman... we'll be even.”

* * *

James grinned as he shook Scars' hand, congratulation him... that turian was one lucky hijo de puta. But other than that, he waited his turn as first the major's previous partner then Joker went to hug her, biding his time until he could her into a bone crushing bear hug.

“Damn Lola, you don't do things by half do you?” James laughed. “I thought you were going on a date?”

She squeezed him back just as tight, chuckling as she told him: “So did I.”

James pulled back a little so he coud study the new colbalt markings on her face. They actually looked pretty good on her, but then again, there wasn't really anything that wouldn't look good on Lola. He placed a hand on her chin, ans she let him tilt her face this way and that so he could inspect it. James couldn't help nodding in approval, they looked totally badass... not to mention it was bloody damn obvious Scars made her happy... and hopefully Major Tightass might finally leave her alone. James chuckled to himself, Estaban was going to freak when he found out; they should probably club together to get the happy couple something. Probably some new gun mods, knowing the pair.

“So Lola... now you've got Scars' markings, you finally going to my name tattooed somewhere special?” he asked, flirtatiously. 

She grinned up at him. “Not your name, but I might have an idea for matching ones.”

James couldn't help the laugh that escaped him, as he pulled her into another tight embrace. Other than Estaban, the major was his closest friend. Dios! He bloody loved that woman. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currently in bed with the flu, and life is a little manic with our daughter starting preschool. Will be back next week with another update, and maybe I might have actually gotten to the console by then to continue game play...


	80. Chapter 80

Shepard flopped unceremoniously back onto her bed on board the Normandy... so much for their spectacular party following their private wedding. They'd received a priority transmission asking the Normandy to rendezvous with the quarian fleet, and the only reason Shepard had cut shore leave short and postponed the party was the slim chance Tali would be at the rendezvous; and that was the _only_ good thing to come out of the blasted meeting.

The idiotic admirals were going after the geth and never in a million years did Shepard think she'd ever be siding with Koris. She hated the man after he tried to through Tali under a bus during her trial, but Shepard couldn't in good faith not side with him as he argued against risking the quarian people in such a fool hardy endeavour. And if attacking the geth unprovoked wasn't idiotic enough, they done it whilst the rest of the galaxy was fighting a war against the reapers which they knew were coming.

Honestly, Shepard felt like screaming. It was a small miracle she hadn't punched that fucking 'Xen. Really Tali appearing had be about the only thing that had stopped her, but despite offering her assistance, Shepard had been too angry with the admirals to be able to enjoy her old friend being back onboard. She was so wound up that she'd left Tali reuniting with Liara, Joker and Garrus, and gone to hide in her cabin. Sure, she felt shitty for it, but her mood wasn't exactly in the right place for a catch up and recounting her elopement.

When the door chimed Shepard almost growled in frustration, but managed to bite it back in time to issue a stilted welcome to whoever had come knocking... James, as it turned out. Her fellow marine strolled into her room, made his way over to her bed and flopped on it himself. His large frame made the mattress bounce, and Shepard couldn't help huff a reluctant laugh at being jostled. She turned her head to offer a slight smile to the behemoth, one that turned into a genuine grin when he silently handed her a beer instead of talking.

Sometimes it was nice to have someone other than Garrus who just... understood. Shepard supposed Joker did the best her could, but he'd never run a mission before, so he didn't fully appreciate the bullshit that went with command. James did. Which was probably why instead of trying to get her to talk about what was bugging her, or offering some tired platitude, he simply handed her a beer. With a practised move, Shepard twisted off the cap of her bottle, clinked it against James', and took a generous swig before sighing...

… it was going to be a long night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... the saga of how messed up my ME3 playthrough is hadn't come to an end until tonight. For the first time since getting ill, I attempted to carry on my gameplay to try get this story properly rolling again, only to find out the save file had glitched. So despite having over 3000 war assests, the game is reading it as 0% ready. Which means the game is unbeatable, which means the game is unplayable. *Deep Breath* Now, anyone who has been following from the beginning will probably remember how messed up going on to ME3 was for me, and how none of the data from ME1 & 2 carried over making it an absolute nightmare when trying to continue this story. Hopefully you can understand why I am NOT restarting this damn game! Now, what does this mean for this story? Well, I'm going to be trying to find at least cutscene footage on YouTube and instead of going from my playthrough, I'm going to have to stick to the order the the MEwiki uses. I admit I'm not sure how this is going to affect the flow of the story, or if the change will be noticible, but I wanted to be 100% transparent with my readers about what is going on with this story. I'm dedicated to finishing it, as I'm a bloody perfectionist and as much as I'd like to drop this after all the stupid drama, I refuse to do that to my readers. So, I am going to do my best and hopefully you wont notice too much difference from how it was before, but if you do see any changes, you will hopefully understand the reasons why... wish me luck!


	81. Chapter 81

After all the shit that had gone down on Rannoch, including laying Legion's metal corpse to rest... not to mention everything before it on the geth dreadnought... the orange glow of the Main Battery was a welcome site. Of course she was happy that a peace treaty had somehow been brokered between the quarians and the geth, with Admiral Koris making it out alive to help the quarian civilians and Tali officially rejoining the Normandy, but a Legion shaped hole now sat in her heart. Along with the ones Thane, Mordin and Eve had left. Thankfully, the sight of her husband bent over his usual console brought a slight smile to her lips, that widened slightly when he immediately turned and pulled her into a hug, her cheek pressed against his armoured keel.

“Shepard, you just knew the geth would figure into this war somehow,” Garrus said by way of greeting.

“Because reapers weren't enough,” she retorted.

“Still, it's good to have Tali here,” he stated. “It's as much her fight as it is ours.”

Shepard nodded. “Liara's too.”

“Shame Wrex is too busy co-ordinating the krogan, we could have got the dream team back together,” he drawled.

Chuckling, Shepard smirked up at him fondly. “I can't see him missing the big showdown at the end of it.”

They moved to sit side by side on the cot Garrus had left down in the Main Battery, when he moved into Shepard's cabin. Sighing, she rested her head against her husband's shoulder, as his arm snuck around her waist.

“Any news from Palaven?”

“Some,” he admitted. “And I don't like what I'm hearing. The krogan are there in force, but they're just slowing the reapers down, not stopping them. I'm not sure it's going to be enough.”

“Hear anything from your family?”

When Garrus was silent for just a beat too long, Shepard moved to agilely straddle his armour clad thighs. The same platitude was on the tip of her tongue, the meaningless assurance that he would hear from them, but the words died in her throat. Instead she cupped his scarred mandible before pressing her forehead to his.

“I did hear from Primarch Victus,” he said, quietly. “He wanted my advice on fleet strength when the crucible is ready... still can't get used to people asking me things like that.”

“You're a good man, Garrus,” she told him. “You're not just my husband, you're my XO and partner too. There's no one I'd trust more to be making those sort of decisions. You know this war better than any of them. Yes, the calls we have to make are hard. People die because of them, but people also come out of these impossible situations alive because of them too.”

“You're right,” he huffed, his mandibles quivering. “Though I'm starting to see why the galaxy needs cold hearted dictators every now and then... they don't give a damn about the consequences. I suppose that's what it's going to take to win this war, Shepard. The ruthless calculus of war. Then billion people over here die, so twenty billion over there can live. Are we up for that?” He paused to nuzzle her hand. “Are you?”

Shepard shook her head. “If we reduce war to arithmetic, we're no better than the reapers.”

“A nice sentiment,” he conceded, solemnly. “Let's hope we can live by it.”

“Jarvik asked be to stand in the ashes of a dead people and see where my honour was, the Illusive Man tried to stop me destroying a human reaper because of it's supposed benefits... I refuse to let this war compromise who we are. If we lose sight of the _people_ we are fighting for, we might as well roll over for the reapers, because we will have lost everything that was worth fighting for in the first place.”

Shepard's mini rant ended with an angry puff of air as she tried to calm herself, unsure why Garrus was looking at her so intensely... until he picked her up, easily turning so he could pin her up against the wall. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, even as she was about to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, until his supple tongue darted out to lick a maddening path from the shell of her ear and along her jaw bone. She huffed a laugh when his talons gently kneaded her rear... apparently her husband has some strange kinks she hadn't discovered... until now.

 


	82. Chapter 82

It was late into the night cycle when Shepard awoke to find her husband's side of the bed rumpled but cold. Sighing softly, she pushed herself out of bed, pulled on her discarded sleep shorts and her beloved oversized hoodie, and padded bare foot to the elevator. It didn't take a genius to figure out where Garrus would be, and Shepard walked silently through the dimly lit and deserted Crew Deck towards the Main Battery. And as expected, the moment the door whooshed open, she found her husband staring at the brightly lit wall console, that made the once warm orange room glow in an eerie blue hue.

* * *

The moment the door to the main battery hissed open, Garrus knew who it was. By now, he could recognise his wife's footsteps, her scent. He could even imagine how she'd look, probably still a little sleepy, her brow creased slightly... not because she was mad, but because she was concerned. Garrus sighed, hanging his head for a moment before intending to push away from the console to face her. But then he felt her ridiculously dainty hand rest on his shoulder, and he'd never been so grateful he'd foregone his armour, as the comforting coolness of her hand seeped through the thin material of his undersuit.

“Any word from your family?” she asked, gently.

“They made it off Palaven. It was tight, but they're okay,” he replied, turning to her.

Shepard grinned. “That's fantastic. That must be a weight off your shoulders.”

Garrus trailed his talons across her hips before his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her against him. In reply, Shepard snaked her arms around his torso, and he couldn't resist nuzzling her temple, breathing in the sleepy scent of her. Pressed so close, Garrus suspected his mate could feel the purr that reverberated in his chest; happy to have her in his arms.

“It is,” he agreed. “Though this being a war, one burden replaces another.”

“What happened?”

Garrus hugged her impossibly closer, seeking comfort. “I just had to make a tough call with the Primarch. He said our fleets are being decimated. So I advised him to cease all offensive operations against the reapers.”

“A full retreat?” Shepard asked, stepping back slightly to look at him.

With an arm still firmly wrapped around her waist, Garrus stepped aside so she could clearly see the damning console behind him. He knew she'd understand immediately, and he moved behind her, barely resisting the urge to nuzzle the top of her head... but decided against risking getting his mandibles tangled with her fiery hair that had been slowly growing longer as the war progressed.

“The only way to save Palaven now is to hold our ships back for the crucible,” he told her, solemnly. “But if I'm wrong... then a lot of other turian families won't be as lucky as mine.”

Her too many fingers entwined with his talons. “A hell of a gamble... I'm sure you exhausted all other options.”

“If there are others, I can't see them. It all comes down to the crucible now.”

“And ruthless calculus,” Shepard concluded, resting her head back on his carapace.

Garrus pressed his mouth plates gently to the column of her throat. “How are you holding up, Shepard? This all has to be taking a toll.”

“I'd be better if I didn't wake without my husband beside me,” she joked weakly, before sighing. “There's only so much fight in a person, Garrus. Only so much death you can take before...”

“Before a certain turian with no romantic skills to speak of tries to cheer you up,” he interrupted, nuzzling her shoulder.

“Cheer? Coming from you?” she scoffed.

Garrus lifted his head to find his mate smirking at him. He flared his mandibles in a small smile

“Hmm... mood swings,” he defended.

He'd hoped his comment would make her chuckle, and he was pleased when she gave a huff of laughter. Shaking her head in the way she did when she was affectionately thinking you were an idiot. Unable to help himself, Garrus gently turned Shepard to face him in order to press his forehead to hers.

“Don't worry. We'll get through this, we always do,” he told her.

Shepard's hand came to cup his scarred mandible. “It helps to have someone worth fighting for.”

 


	83. Chapter 83

Back on the Citadel for some impromptu shore leave, courtesy of the repairs the Normandy needed thanks to the quarian's idiotic vendetta against the peaceful geth, Shepard found herself propping up the bar in the casino near their apartment.

Garrus had been adamant on taking her out; he'd overheard a conversation about first dates she'd had with James and Steve, and had some how turned some light hearted banter between friends into something he felt the need to feel guilty about. Since in his words, they'd done everything backwards and had never actually been on a date... Shepard had tried to reason that the picnic on top of the Presidium Tower counted as a date, Garrus argued that it was a proposal not a date, and wouldn't be dissuaded.

So to assuage his misplaced guilt, Shepard had agreed to meet him on the casino's upper floor, certain that the establishment's security meant they wouldn't have to worry about some wayward journalist trying to spy on them. Which was she had poured herself into surprisingly stretchy, black pencil skirt and electric blue blouse she'd found waiting for her in their apartment. One look at the shocked look on Garrus' face meant he hadn't bought her the outfit, which left either Liara or Kasumi. Either were as likely as the other, and Shepard had sent both women a 'thanks if it was you' extranet message, before slipping on some killer heels and making her way to meet Garrus.

Shepard had only been waiting for a few minutes... since her husband had gone to the Armax Arena for a few rounds with James, whilst she got ready... before she saw Garrus out the corner of her eye. Taking a sip of her Thessian Temple, Shepard signalled to the bar tender to pour a glass of turian brandy, before swivelling in her seat to admire her husband as he surged through the crowd to join her. She smirked as she noticed several females and a few males of various species stop to watch Garrus as well, and Shepard couldn't help the wave of pride that settled on her. Because damn... her husband was on sexy son of a bitch.

“So... a turian on shore leave,” she greeted, teasingly. “Come here often?”

The female turian her husband just walked passed glared at her for a moment, before evidently realising the cobalt blue design on her face wasn't any old tattoo, but clan markings. The female's mandibles fluttered for a moment, prompting Shepard to throw her a wink... there were no hard feelings after all. She knew Garrus was a fine specimen, let them look.

“Is this that um... first date thing we talked about?” he asked, nervously, taking a seat next to her.

“Or it could be that role play thing in the porn I know Joker sent you yesterday,” she retorted, deadpan.

Garrus mandibles fluttered like crazy for a moment as he squirmed in his seat, obviously uncomfortable, before he cleared his throat.

“Got it,” he mumbled, before saying a little hesitantly: “Yes... yeah... oh, I come here often.”

Even though she'd only been teasing, Shepard had to give him props for hows his voice lowered into a sex drawl, as he made a show of leaning closer to her. Taking a sip of her drink, she eyed him coyly over the rim of her glass, before raising an eyebrow in silent challenge.

“Good place to blow off steam,” Garrus continued, his mandibles flaring into a turian smirk as his gaze drifted to the pretty asari bartender. “Scenery's not bad either.”

Shepard outright laughed at that, even as she lightly kicked his leg spur in retaliation. “Ass...”

“Though the view in front of me is even better,” Garrus added, grinning.

“Smooth... real smooth,” she chuckled. “Think you can melt a woman's heart with some cheesy, stolen lines from a Blasto movie?”

Garrus leant forward until his mouth plates nearly blushed the shell of her ear. “No... but this voice is.”

She gave a thoughtful hum, daring to drag her sapphire coloured nails along his unscarred mandible, before trailing her fingers down the monochrome fabric of the suit he was wearing.

“You have a name, handsome?” she purred.

“Garrus Vakarian. Codename: Archangle,” he rumbled. “All-round turian bad boy and dispenser of justice in an unjust galaxy.” He paused to capture her wandering her, raising it to his mouth plates to playfully nip her fingertips. “Also, I kill reapers on the side... and you are?”

“Major Shepard, Alliance Navy and Citadel Spectre,” she replied, valiantly refusing to react to the way his tongue suddenly curled seductively around her wrist.

“Hmm... Shepard, huh? I might've heard a few things about you,” Garrus drawled.

“All daringly reckless and rebellious, I'm sure,” Shepard retorted, before challenging: “But go on... flatter me.”

“Word is your smart, sexy... a wicked shot,” he replied, without missing a beat. “Rumour has it you also like to kill reapers on the side too.”

“There's many other things I enjoy as well,” she stated, suggestively. Letting her eyes rove over him unabashed as he suddenly stood.

“I would love to explore those many things when there's less of an audience,” Garrus rumbled, before smirking at her. “But for now, I wonder... do you dance, Shepard?”

Oh... she was going to kill him, and maybe not _just_ him either; Garrus had been about with James earlier after all, and if her former bodyguard had let slip he'd insisted on teaching her how to dance during her stint of house arrest, Shepard would skin him alive. Sure, it had helped keep her sane and broke up the gruelling gym regime she'd set for herself, but still, she'd sworn James to secrecy. But from the way her husband was grinning at her, Shepard had a feeling that Garrus didn't know she could actually dance.

So a devilish smirk curled her dark purple lips as the first swell of a tango melody began to play, and out of the corner of her eye, she noticed James make his way to the edge of the dance floor. When her fellow marine gave her a subtle nod Shepard couldn't help her smirk widening, because oh... she was going to show her cocky bastard of a husband a thing or two.

 


	84. Chapter 84

Garrus stifled a groan, his head absolutely pounding, and it took longer than he'd care to admit to remember who he was, never mind where he was. But eventually, through the murky haze only a turian brandy hangover could give, he began to remember the night before.

His mandibles flared in a slight smile as he remembered meeting Shepard for a date early in the evening, then the stunned realisation that his wife could dance; despite previously being certain she couldn't to save her life, and that that blasted Vega had probably known the entire time he was teaching him to tango in order to surprise Shepard.

After the dance, Vega had appeared to buy them both drinks, and they were slowly joined by the majority of the current Normandy crew. A few questionable cocktails later, Joker had suggested making it a 'real party' and taking it back to the 'Shepard-Vakarian love nest'... Tali's drunken name for their Citadel apartment. From their his wife had decided if there was going to be a 'proper one', which apparently meant inviting every past and present member of the crew; even Alenko.

Oh... it had been wild.

There was Wrex, Grunt and bloody Nihlus somehow convincing Joker to have a shooting gallery in the bar area. Jack and Miranda having a biotic arm wresting competition. Alenko and Jacob having a push up contest. Vega unbelievably getting Javik to learn how to play poker with him, Steve, Adams and Chakwas. Tali and Liara trying to teach EDI how to dance. Kolyat turned up as honorary crew member, with Liara's friend Feron as a date. The most normal thing was Traynor acting a bar tender for the evening.

Garrus had chosen to stick to turian brandy, intent on staying sober enough to watch Shepard enjoy the party; enjoy being surrounded by the majority of their friends for possibly the last time... but three drinks turned into eight, and somewhere along the way Masini turned up, and Garrus only vaguely remembered discussing ways to safety proof the apartment with the mercenary; in case there was another rogue Shepard clone roaming out in the galaxy somewhere.

It kind of went black after that, and the next thing he'd been aware of was waking up naked with an equally nude Shepard curled beside him. Well, that was the second thing he was aware of, the first had most definitely been the banging headache. So it took Garrus several minutes to be brave enough to crack open his eyes... and the only reason he was certain it was his wife beside him and no one else, was because of her calming scent that surrounded him. But when he did managed to make his stinging eyes obey, the first thing he was was the large group photo from last night, that Shepard must have opted to have Glyph display on the enormous holoscreen in their bedroom.

It was a good photo, fantastic even... even if Alenko was in it... but Garrus couldn't help the constriction in his chest when he looked at it, knowing there were so many people missing. From Ashley Williams, right up to Thane, Mordin and even Legion. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and he knew Shepard must feel the same; the crew were like her family after all. But he was thankfully saved from his maudlin thoughts, when his wife finally stirred beside him; stretching languidly, before smiling at him brightly.... how she managed to be so damn perky, especially when Garrus knew she'd drank much more than he had, was beyond him.

“What a night... but look who's here,” Shepard greeted, her smile turning into a grin.

“Yeah, I must have hung out in a lot of places last night. Your upper body, lower body... pretty much all the parts in between,” he teased, tiredly.

Shepard snorted. “You sure about that? I distinctly remember dragging your sorry ass to bed.”

Garrus chuckled. “I might not remember too much, but remember, turian's have a superior scenes of smell... I _know_ what we did in here last night.”

“Not sure if that's hot or disturbing,” she retorted, leaning over to kiss his scarred mandible. “But I admit, turians certainly don't lack a sense of direction.”

“And you don't lack for places to get lost in,” he replied, pressing his forehead gently to hers.

“I'm not even sure if that works as a metaphor,” Shepard chuckled, moving to swing her legs out of bed. “But as much as I'd love to explore it further, we should get our asses in gear, see who else is up.”

“You mean see if our apartment survived?” Garrus said, deadpan.

Shepard glanced over her shoulder before shrugging. “Same thing.”

 


	85. Chapter 85

Shepard's breath was shaky as she blew out a long exhale. She'd slipped out of their apartment earlier than everyone else; certain that between Garrus, Joker and James, that they'd be able able to corral everyone back on the Normandy. She supposed there was Liara, Tali and Steve too, so she wasn't worried that her team and the rest of the crew would be ready to go when they got the green light.

So for once, Shepard had taken a moment to herself. A moment that was probably long over due, though she wasn't exactly certain she wanted it. Left to her own devices, with only her own brain for company, Shepard couldn't help how her thoughts grew dark.

Despite being a honed and highly decorated soldier, she was a person... something even she forgot some times. She'd been through the ringer before, but this war had been going on for her longer than nearly anyone else in the galaxy. And now, she wasn't even sure she'd see the end of it.

Oh, she'd fight tooth and nail. She'd fight until her heart stopped and the last drop of blood left her body. But she just couldn't see herself making it out of this one, and she daren't say anything to anyone. Not even Garrus... especially not Garrus. That wonderful bastard that had been with her almost every step of the damn way. Her husband, her mate, who had lost even more people than she had over the years. She didn't want to add to that number, but she just couldn't see a different ending for her. One where she walked away happy.

Too many friends had died in this war, and saying goodbye to the ones that couldn't join her on the Normandy had been painful, so she'd slipped away. Knowing that if she didn't her fragile facade would crack, and hoping that some time alone would give her the chance to pull herself together. To pull in all the fragments that had shattered at each death, each goodbye, and hopefully glue them into some hodgepodge that vaguely resembled the woman she'd been at the beginning of all this.

But of course, her friends... her family... knew her better than Shepard sometimes liked to admit. And when she heard footsteps approaching where she hid on the docks, she knew they knew. She knew there would be faces missing, not just the likes of Thane and Mordin, but people like Nilhus and Wrex and Grunt and Jack. The ones who had incredibly important jobs to do, that kept them from her side; that kept them in Shepard's line of sight, so she knew if they were safe or not.

Though instead of turning to greet them, she remained leaning on the railing, her gaze trained resolutely on the Normandy through the reinforced windows; even as her vision began to blur. Garrus came to lean next to her, his talons wrapping around her fingers immediately. Joker moved to her other side, his arm casually draping around her shoulders... a gesture Shepard readily returned. Next to her pilot stood James, and her lieutenant reached over, his large hand dwarfing hers where it rested on Joker's shoulder.

Shepard's breath stuttered again, and she blinked back tears when through the reflection of the window, she saw Garrus wrap an arm around Tali and James sling an arm around Liara. EDI chose to stand behind Joker, her metal hand resting on the pilot's free shoulder, whilst Steve mirrored the gesture with James. Even Javik joined their stranger huddle, standing directly behind Shepard and catching her eye in the reflection. He nodded his head to her, and Shepard offered a small one in return; from the Prothean, it was an unmistakable show of solidarity, one she greatly appreciated.

The moment stretched, beautiful and fragile, and Shepard found herself terrified of ruining the moment as tears began to well again... she didn't think she could love her husband more until he broke the tentative silence.

“So I guess it's back to the fight?” he rumbled, his voice strangely hoarse.

The corner of Shepard's mouth twitched to smile. “At least we through one hell of a party... probably the last one.”

“Last one before when kick the reaper's arses you mean,” Joker corrected, his gaze locked on the Normandy.

“Yeah, the next one if going to be one hell of a celebration,” James agreed.

Shepard tried to smile for them, though she knew it came across more melancholy than anything, but her eyes slipped closed as Garrus nuzzled her temple, and she allowed herself to soak in the small affectionate gesture.

“That doesn't sound like my girl,” he mused, quietly. “If anyone can win this it's you. You'll find a way, and when it's over, we'll build that retirement home somewhere tropical.”

Her smile was more genuine as she rested her head on his shoulder in silent reply. It was a damn good dream... a hell of a reason to keep fighting.

“Best times of my life were spent on that ship,” he rumbled.

“Been a damn good ride,” Joker agreed, his voice suspiciously thick.

There were murmurs of agreement from the rest of the team, and even Javik inclined his head in agreement. And even as her small smile grew wider, Shepard couldn't help the tear that rolled down her cheek; but for some reason, hiding them no longer seemed to matter. These were her friends, her family... they understood. So she took a deep breath as she pushed away from the railing, before quietly stating:

“The best.”

 


	86. Chapter 86

Garrus heart was in his mouth. He'd been elated when that spirits-damned mech had finally resurfaces, after Shepard had been down in the choppy ocean for far too long. But the euphoria of seeing his mate again was short lived. She fell out of the mech's cockpit, bloody trickling from her nose. He thought he heard Vega say something about 'the bends', but he no idea what that was... he didn't really care, all he knew was his Shepard was in danger. 

He didn't even have time to question why the two brutes weren't attacking his mate... why one was protecting her... all Garrus cared about was getting to Shepard as quickly as possible. It was why he left the lieutenant picking off the remaining reapers without a single order. His mate needed him, and that was all that mattered; Garrus was only vaguely aware of radioing Cortez, telling him to bring the shuttle around. Shepard was back, and he didn't care if she accomplished her reckless objective. She needed medical assistance, whether or not they could get off the spirits-forsaken planet or not. 

Shepard had somehow managed to stay conscious until they boarded the shuttle, she mumbled something to Cortez that the male interpreted as the all clear to get off the water logged planet, before passing out. Garrus heart was once again in his mouth. He tried to run scans, but despite being part of Shepard's crew for so long, his first aid skills were for turians not humans. 

How he kept from keening why he reluctantly moved away from her so Vega could check her over, Garrus didn't know. But he couldn't stop himself running his talons through her wet hair; comforting himself probably more than he was comforting his unconscious mate. He heard Cortez call back to check for 'decompression sickness' the moment Shepard woke up. Garrus still didn't know what that meant, and he was too fraught with worry to think of checking it up on his omni-tool. 

“Lola's core temperature is dangerously low.”

Now that was something Garrus understood, and he nodded to Vega before helping the lieutenant divest Shepard of her armour. Both of them quickly followed suit, leaving all three of them in their undersuits. Though where Garrus immediately pulled his mate up against him, the human-krogan first pulled an insulated blanket from the first aid kit, before settling down on Shepard's other side.   
The wait was excruciating, and he only managed the barest hint of a smile for Vega, when he noticed the lieutenant periodically checking Shepard's pulse. 

But then, all at once, she startled awake... instead of a slow slide back to consciousness, it seemed Shepard was thrown back into it. She coughed violently, blood staining her shockingly blue tinged lips. There was also blood trickling out of her nose and ears, and she feebly complained of pain in her shoulders, elbows and lower back. As well as a head ache.

Vega demanded Cortez try patching them through to the Normandy, and the moment Joker's voice came through the static, he demanded to speak to Chakwas. However, Garrus' attention trailed away from the lieutenant then, as he gently pressed his forehead against his mates, trying not to vocalise his worry when a violent shudder rocked her entire body.

“Never do that again,” he whispered.

Shepard gave him a faint smile. “Will try. No promises.”

“That's all I can ask,” Garrus sighed, before carefully pulling her close. “How did it go down there?”

Her smile was a little stronger as she replied: “We found it. Leviathan. It's real, and a lot more than we ever imagined.”

“Dios Lola! Was it worth almost dying for?” JVega asked, having finished his call.

“I don't know,” she admitted. “But we proved it can't hide any more... that it's part of this war, just like us.”

“Does it have telekinetic powers?” Cortez asked, unexpectedly. “Seems like one of those brutes was trying to protect you.”

Shepard huffed a weary laugh. “Yeah... yeah it does. It said it was going to join the fight. Guess it meant it.” 

“All in a days work, eh Lola?” Vega teased.

“Yeah... one for the history books,” she retorted.

Garrus couldn't help nuzzling her temple. “You're amazing, Shepard. Never forget that.”


	87. Chapter 87

The last mission had been brutal, Cerberus and reaper forces to wade through. Actually, Sanctuary had been a bitch; but at least Miranda and Oriana had made it out alive, the same couldn't be said for probably thousands of other people who had sought refuge there. And Shepard couldn't help shake the feeling that perhaps she should have known something, realised something... what, she didn't know. But the guilt had settled heavy in her gut, and she'd only managed to hold it together to do the quickest rounds of the Normandy she'd ever performed.

Realistically, no matter how she tried to hide it, Shepard knew the people she considered family would know she wasn't in a good place. She'd seen it from the way Liara had frowned, how Steve had lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, how Vega had offered to make her food, how Tali had given her an extra big hug, how Joker had well... joked harder than usual. And then there was Garrus, her husband hadn't even said anything when she'd briefly popped in to check on him. Simply flicked his mandible in the way she'd dubbed 'concerned', before pressing his forehead to hers in a turian kiss.

So it was no real surprise, when after blindly staring at a mission report for the past half a hour, that the door to their cabin quietly whooshed opened. Shepard looked up to see Garrus tilt his head, yet he didn't comment of the dim lighting and moody music she'd keyed into the sound system. Still, there was something comforting about his presence alone, and Shepard watched as he walked down the steps towards their bed where she sat.

“Shepard. Thought you might be up here,” Garrus said, kindly. “You know what the best part is about a battle that decides the whole fate of the galaxy?”

“Winning it?” she replied, deadpan.

Her husband huffed a laugh, as he sat down beside her. “I was thinking it's a good excuse to remind the ones you care about that... well, that you care about them. Want some company?”

His talons gently wrapped around her knee and Shepard couldn't help smile. Without much thought, she tossed the data pad she'd been reading towards the couch and turned to face him, cupped his scarred mandible as she did.

“You read my mind.”

“Hmm... guess I'm getting pretty good at this,” he purred, pressing his forehead to hers. “But I guess more practise wouldn't hurt...”

Still smiling, Shepard shook her head. “Not quite in the mood here, Big Guy.”

“What? Not in the mood for cuddles?” Garrus teased, nuzzling her temple. “I thought you humans were crazy about them... worse than Asari apparently.”

“You were not implying cuddles,” she accused, her smile turning into a grin.

“Now Shepard, we both know I don't need any more practise at _that_ ,” he drawled. “Snuggling on the other hand, when you're a seven foot bony dinosaur bird...”

“I called you that once, what... four years ago? Whilst drunk,” Shepard laughed.

“So as I was saying,” Garrus continued, his mandibles flaring in a grin. “When you're a seven foot bony dinosaur bird, built for stalking, sniping and glaring...”

“I did not say that,” she denied, chuckling.

“No, but Wrex did...”

“Think you'll find it was skulking, whining, and glaring,” Shepard teased.

“Anyway...” he dismissed. “What I was trying to say before you rudely interrupted, is that turian's were not created for cuddles. But since my mate is human and you squishy things are made for snuggling, I need more practice.”

“Cuddling usually involves less armour,” she pointed out, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“And everyone thinks it's your aim and not your observation skills that got you promoted,” Garrus chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“You're such an ass...”

“You love my ass,” he quipped.

Shepard huffed a laugh. “Because it's a damn fine ass.”

“For a bony dinosaur bird.”

Groaning, she flopped back on the bed. “You're not going to let me live that one down, are you?”

Garrus leant over her, his mandibles flared in a wide turian grin. “Never.”

 


	88. Chapter 88

Garrus looked up from the datapad the moment he heard Shepard flinch. He'd learnt the hard way it wasn't a good idea to try wake her from a nightmare; she'd biotically thrown him halfway across the room once, because he'd shaken her awake whilst she'd dreamt about marauders. Shepard had felt so guilty she'd barely looked at him outside a mission for a week. So as much as it pained him to do so, Garrus waited until his mate sat up right. Still, that was no real indication she was awake... her Locust pointed point blank in his face another night had taught him that... so he was forced to wait until her gaze focused on him.

Then he was up as quickly as he could, without making it obvious he'd been watching her, waiting to be able to comfort her; because he knew that would also make Shepard feel guilty, she hated worrying people she cared about, especially after what she dubbed 'stupid nightmares'. The fact that she simply swung her legs out of bed before hunching in on herself told Garrus it hadn't been pleasant, and he slowly stood from the couch and walked around to her side of the bed.

“Bad dream?” he asked, gently.

“You ever get them?” Shepard asked, by way of confirmation.

As he sat down, Garrus mulled over the best response. It wasn't an unfamiliar question, in fact, both were getting startlingly routine. But he'd never found an adequate answer that comforted her, and that bothered him.

“Mmm... I tend to expect the worst anyway,” he replied. “So dreaming about it is just a waste of good sleep.”

“Fucking turians,” she said, huffing out a laugh.

Garrus' mandible flicked out into the tiniest of smiles, pleased he could at least draw that little bit of humour from her. But he knew Shepard, and he knew she was far from okay. So carefully, still hyper aware of the possibility of startling her whilst she was still so lost in her head, he slid an arm gently around her bare shoulders; nuzzling the skin left exposed by the tank top she'd worn to bed.

“What about now?” Shepard asked, quietly.

“I'm expecting a tough fight,” Garrus answered, honestly. “But talk to me, Shepard. What's bothering you?”

“Can we ever be ready for a battle like this? Everything we've ever known... it's all hanging by a thread, Garrus.”

He nuzzled her temple. “Yeah. But the truth is, when hasn't it?”

Shepard huffed out another laugh at that.

“Every fight we've ever seen could've been our last,” he continued, pulling her close. “Every bullet we've dodged could have been the one.”

Her small hand came up to cradle his scarred mandible; they both knew just how accurate his words were... not to mention his mate had literally come back from the dead once. For spirits sake, they'd met when hunting for a rogue spectre determined to let the damn reapers through. Since the moment they'd locked eyes, each day could have been their last.

“There have been a lot of bullets,” she acknowledged, deadpan.

“And this time around, they're just a little bigger,” Garrus consoled.

“I don't know what I'd do without you,” Shepard chuckled, smiling at him fondly.

Garrus pressed his forehead to hers. “A wise woman once told me in war, we can't deal in absolutes. But I can promise I'll try my best for you never have to figure it out.”

 


	89. Chapter 89

Shepard stared almost unseeing at the tiles in front of her. She'd barely made it out of her armour, the distinctive black and cobalt pieces lying in a haphazard trail to the shower room. She hadn't even bothered striping from her undersuit. She'd palmed the shower control and simply collapsed under the scolding hot spray.

Tears stung Shepard's eyes as she tilted her head back, her face to the curtain of water raining down on her. They'd been so damn close... she'd been so damn close. Not just to cracking Thessia's secret, but to loosing her husband _again_. To another fucking gunship no less. She'd so very nearly lost someone she loved to that bastard Kai Leng... again. Despite taking a third _and_ forth person with her, that Cerberus bastard had still bested her, bested them.

Garrus, Liara, Vega and Javik. Shepard had thought she was taking no chances taking a larger squad. Three of her most trusted friends and squad mates, and the only person in the galaxy who'd faced the reapers before. She'd hoped that with the asaris' impressive biotics to back them up, they would have gotten the data from the temple. That they could have cracked that last illusive piece needed for the Crucible.

How wrong she had been.

Not only had they discovered there had been a data mine in EDI's core programming no one had spotted, but the prothean VI on Thessia had been lost. Liara had been nearly crushed by a falling stone statue. Javik had been stabbed like Thane, Garrus had narrowly missed being shot by another bloody missile, whilst her and Vega had fallen into the bottomless crater the damn explosion had created. With her team so battered, Shepard had no choice but to call off any pursuit of Kai Leng. And as the reapers bared down on them, she had no choice but to abandon Thessia. She'd tried to evacuate as many asari as the Normandy could hold, but what good was that against the fall of their homeworld.

She'd left Javik in medical having a punctured lung repaired, along with Vega who needed a badly broken leg reset. Garrus had immediately gone to update the Primarch on the situation, and she'd done her best to try comfort Liara. Shepard wasn't sure how successful she'd been, but the Shadow Broker had been thoroughly adsorbed in her work when she'd left for her own quarters.

Her body had been on auto pilot, her movements almost mechanical as she'd habitually headed for the shower. But once inside the sterile white room, she simply crumpled. Seeing specks of vivid blue blood that had crept beneath her gauntlets hadn't helped, and Shepard tried to shut her eyes against the memory of the Archangel fallout.

A full bodied sob wracked her frame as bitter tears mingled with the suddenly cooler water. Though she hadn't realised she wasn't alone any more until she felt the familiar tingle of talons carding through her sopping hair. Garrus didn't say anything, merely sat as a comforting weight behind her; her back flush with his keel as his arms moved to wrap around her. He nuzzled her temple softly, and when another sob ripped through Shepard, her husband quietly keened with her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is dedicated to Peramia, who very kindly notified me that I'd completely forgotten to include Thessia! Hopefully this chapter rectifies that somewhat, and hopefully I won't make a similar mistake again. Thanks for your patience.


	90. Chapter 90

Despite the impressive view outside the enormous reinforced window, James couldn't help stealing glances at Lola. Their last two missions had been brutal, first the shit show in Sanctuary and now Cronos Station. He'd been with her through it all, and in all honesty, James was getting pretty worried about her. Dios! Even Scars couldn't make her smile any more. Something had died behind Lola's eyes, almost as if her fire had been doused, and James had shared more than one worried look with Scars over her... Lola was the best damn friend he'd ever had and he was worried sick about, fuck knew how the turian was holding up.

He'd honestly hoped this last mission against Cerberus would have given her some spark back, but despite remaining indomitable in battle, James could tell Lola just wasn't the same. She'd seen too much... done too much. He could appreciate that, he hadn't been the same since Fehl Prime, but to see that light go out of Lola shook him to the core. Not that he'd ever breath a word of it to her; she'd supported him since the day they'd met and like hell he wasn't going to step up to the plate when Lola needed him.

Still... he honestly thought even though the Illusive Bastard had slipped through their grasp once again, taking out Kai Leng would have at least given her some satisfaction. But even with the cabrón lying motionless on the floor, Lola barely even acknowledged it. She'd just encrossed herself linking her Omni-Tool to the Cerebus databate, transfering anything she could to EDI and Doc, whilst Scars was busy working on the encrypted data... not that it stopped the turian glancing at his wife ever so often, or sharing a look with him; James might not know turian gestures all that well, but worry seemed to translate species just fine.

However, just as he was sharing one of those looks with Scars, movement on his periferal caught his attention. Instinct had him turning, his gun already raised and just as the turian shouted her name in warning. But of course, no matter how much she had changed, Lola hadn't lost her touch. She was already dodging Kai Lang's blade, and James didn't dare open fire lest he hit his friend as she quickly rounded on the Cerberus lap dog. However, despite knowing Lola was one hell of a soldier, James hadn't quite expected her to draw her Omni-Blade as she did.

“That was for Thane you son of a bitch!”

All James could do was stare at her as she withdrew her blade from the wound-be assassin's gut. The body barely crumpled to the floor, before Lola tossed it away from her with a biotic Throw. James was honestly too dazed too move, only just having the pressence of mind to lower his assault rifle. Scars on the other hand carefully approached his wife. James vaguely noticed there were unshed tears in Lola's eyes, but as the turian bent to press his forehead to hers, he tactfully turned away to give them what privacy he could.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, Chapter 89 is actually the new chapter. An explaination will be included in that chapter's note section.


	91. Chapter 91

The moment he heard her finishing up with Wrex, Garrus made his excuses to a Primarch that gave him all too knowing look, before he went to meet Shepard. Just like always, he felt a swell of pride as he watched her walk through the ruins towards him. Thane had once told him how his wife had been a warrior angel, and though he hadn't appreciated it at the time, Garrus understood how the drell felt. Looking at Shepard dressed in her armour, seeing the determination in her lovely eyes, he couldn't help thinking his mate had been sent by the spirits. Knowing she was his and wore his colours into battle only heightened the awe he felt looking at her.

However, as the distinctive sound of reapers echoed all around them, a heavy weight settled in his chest. Shepard was everything he had ever wanted... and this could very well be the final time they had a stolen moment together. Garrus wished they'd been able to share one last night together before they rushed into hell again, but after Chronos Stations, Shepard had been wiped. She'd simple crashed, sleeping almost the entire journey back to earth, and Garrus had contented himself with stroking her fiery hair when he couldn't sleep himself. But spirits... he wished there'd been more time.

“Shepard,” he greeted, pressing his forehead to hers the moment she was close enough. “So, I guess this is...”

“Just like old times?” she interrupted, smiling up at him weakly.

Garrus huffed a strangled laugh. “Might be the last chance we get to say that.”

“You think we're going to lose?”

Of course, they both knew it was a real possibility one or both of them weren't coming back from this one. However, Garrus also knew that Shepard always strived to be a positive and confident leader, she was always the one trying to make impossible odds seem manageable... but he realised that the fall of Thessia had hit her hard, perhaps even harder than Earth and Palaven had. And now they were back on her home world, a planet she'd had to flee in the hopes of saving it... he could well imagine how she must feel at seeing the devastation she'd left behind. So even if she hadn't been his mate, Garrus knew Shepard well enough to know that for once, she was the one needing a boost. So for her, he adopted his most cocky tone as he stated:

“No, I think we're about to kick the reapers back into whatever black hole they crawled out of. Then we're going to retire somewhere warm and tropical, and live off the royalties from the vids.” He paused to nuzzle her temple. “Maybe even find out what a turian-human baby looks like.”

Shepard chuckled. “I'm game. Though I think adoption's a better idea... biology may not cooperate.”

Garrus flared his mandibles in a small grin. “Hmm... I suppose there will be a lot of little krogan around soon.”

“I'm sure Wrex would even let us adopt some of his brood,” she smiled, wistfully. Before resting her forehead against his keel. “We just have to beat the reapers first.”

Carefully, he began to card his talons through her hair. “James told me there's an old saying here on Earth: May you be in heaven half an hour...”

“Before the devil knows your dead,” Shepard finished, her voice wavering.

“Not sure if turian heaven is the same as yours,” he continued, his own voice raw and his sub-harmonics reverberating with sadness. “But if this thing goes sidesways and we both end up there... meet me at the bar. I'm buying.”

“You go, I go,” she whispered.

Garrus almost keened at the unshed tears in her eyes, and he pressed his forehead to hers, understanding the sentiment. If anything happened to her out that, Garrus knew he wouldn't be able to go one. They'd see too much, done too much, lived through too much. He couldn't cope without Shepard by his side.

“But we're a team, Garrus,” she added. “There's no Shepard without Vakarian, so you better remember to duck.”

“Sorry, turians don't know how,” he tried to joke. “But I'll improvise... I'll probably be dragging your ass out of the fire anyway.”

She laughed at that, and Garrus couldn't help feeling proud of himself; glad he could make her smile even as they stood in the ruins of her people. However, there was still just one last thing he needed to say:

“And Shepard, forgive the insubordination, but your mate as an order for you,” he told her, his talon entwining with her fingers one last time. “Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you.”

He felt her squeeze his hands, just as she leant up to place a soft kiss on his scared mandible... he understood the gesture, knew she was thinking of all the close calls they'd had. He shut his eyes, keening softly. Losing her once had nearly destroyed him, he wouldn't live through it again, not now he knew what it was like for Shepard to be his.

“I love you, Garrus,” she whispered, her voice thick. “And if I'm up there in that bar and you're not... I'll be looking down. You'll never be alone.”

“Never,” he agreed, his sub-harmonics ringing with devotion. “No Vakarian without Shepard.”

 


	92. Chapter 92

James heart was hammering in his chest. The rush for the beam had been just plain **LOCO**! What with Lola nearly been taken out by a flying-bloody-Mako, then Scars being taken out by another pendejo Mako... though thankfully it was just a broken leg, or spur, or whatever. But that tough hijo de puta wasn't making it any further. And mierda! James didn't even have words for that kind of messed up shit.

Of course, Lola called for the Normandy. And of course, El Jefe rode in like the damn cavalry. James had helped half carry, half drag Scars to the ship; because fifar... that turian was one heavy bastardo. But still, he genuinely thought he'd haul Scars' ass onto the Normandy before going charging after hurricane Lola; because if her husband couldn't be running into hell with her, James was sure damn going to watch her back.

He wasn't even ashamed to say he had tears in his eyes, as Scars and Lola said what could be their final goodbye... and James knew if he was lucky enough to live through this infierno, he was damn sure going to try find someone to love and who loved him _half_ as much as those two cared for each other. But he was still certain he was going to run off after Lola, the minute he'd handed Scars off to Chakwas. However... and there was always a however where Lola was concerned... she'd fixed him a look. Part order, part plea. And James knew, he _knew_ what she was asking, and he fucking hated it. But she was a major, she was his captain, and must fucking importantly, Lola was his friend.

So she gave him that look, and he knew her so well that he fucking understood, and trying not to cry listening to her husband keen softly... and his own mierda de tonelada of emotions... James fucking nodded. He agreed. He agreed to stay back and keep an eye on Scars, because Lola was scared her husbands was going to do something stupid, and trust him to make sure the turian stayed safe.

In all honesty, James felt physically sick. He could taste the bile in his mouth, even as he snapped off a salute to Lola for what could be the last time.

And then he was holding Scars up... or holding him back. Actually, as the hanger bay started to close and Lola turned to run, James wasn't sure who was holding who up. But then a sleek bullet of titanium and silver blurred passed then. And he wasn't really sure what the hell had just happened, until he heard El Jefe shout over the comm:

“Get her back in one piece, EDI!”

It all clicked then, the AI was sending her android form after Lola, and James thought it was both fucking brilliant and bloody selfless... sure, EDI didn't need the android to survive, but without it, the AI was shackled to the ship again. She couldn't date El Jefe like she had been doing, and James couldn't help respect that kind of sacrifice. And then, just as the hanger bay was about to slam shut, an unmistakable krogan roar could be heard. Both him and Scars looked towards the sound, and to James' surprise, Scars started to laugh.

James was utterly confused for a moment, before he stared a little harder at the surprisingly quick mountain of solid muscles. He realised, perhaps a little belatedly, that he recognised the red bastardo, and he couldn't help laughing too. The fact there was a slightly shorter form, also in red armour, running beside the krogan only added to the bizzareness. But somehow, James knew that even without him and Scars there, that Lola would be just fine now she had Wrex and Javik thundering to her side.


	93. Chapter 93

Shepard let that blasted hologram-reaper-thing prattle on just long enough to hear the 'choices', before she raised a trembling arm and shot out the console it'd projected itself from. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Javik's mouth twitch in a hint of a smile, and she felt more than heard Wrex's rumble of laughter... though that could have been from the ringing in her ears. However she was still upright, Shepard wasn't exactly sure, though it probably had a lot to do with the krogan practically holding her up.

The run to the beam had been gruelling, the landing had hardly been smooth, and then there was the shit of living through essentially talking yet another person into committing suicide. Of course, there would be no tears shed for the Illusive Man, he'd shot her Uncle David never mind everything else, but it was still a head-fuck of a thing to do... but at least he didn't turn into a jumping metal monster like Saren had. Which meant EDI had managed to carry Anderson's unconscious body to the nearest escape pod, and Shepard just prayed to gods she didn't believe in, that they'd made it back to Earth unharmed.

So that left Shepard pressing on with Wrex and Javik, until they reached the control room. Of course, nothing could ever be as simple as flipping a switch, and the hologram left more life or death decisions hanging over her head. Thankfully, it was made only slightly easier when Javik stated:

“My people were no idiots. They would not program the catalyst to wipe all synthetic life. It _will_ target only the reapers.”

“Got to admit, he'd got a point, Shep,” Wrex chimed in. “Can't see them risking there storage facilities. They were all run by VI's right?”

Shepard sagged a little bit more into her friend, feeling more and more light headed, even as she nodded. She felt unsteady on her feet, and she didn't think it was just the head trauma. Her chest felt constricted, and the blue of her armour had steadily been turning purple. They'd all run out of medi-gel trying to stabilise Anderson, so Shepard had a sneaky suspicious she was slowly bleeding out, and possibly had a punctured lung. Still, there was a job to be done... she just wished she could have followed Garrus' order, but someone had to stay behind to set off the catalyst.

“So we're all agreed on destroy,” Shepard murmured, trying to push herself away from Wrex. “Now you two get to the escape pods EDI mentioned. It'll probably take me a few minutes to get up to the platform, which should give you plenty of time.”

“You are not remaining, Major,” Javik stated.

“Javik, you know...”

Without warning, the prothean grabbed each side of her face. It wasn't a harsh move, but considering Javik refrained from touching _anything_ unless he had to because of the imprinted memories he could sense, Shepard sucked in a surprised breath. For several heartbeat, nothing really happened other than Javik's four eyes regarding her solemnly, and she imagined he was reading her own memories... knowing he's seen her husband's last request, and her final goodbye to him.

Tears pricked her eyes, but before they could fall, Shepard felt a gentle push on her conscious. It was far more delicate than any other time she'd felt something touch her mind, even when she'd had mind-melded with Liara. She knew at once it was Javik, and without really knowing how she did it, Shepard let the prothean send whatever he wanted her to see.

Her breath caught in her throat as a myriad of images flashed in her mind, and she knew she was seeing his memories. Of war, of lost friends, lost love ones. A mate killed, children murdered... she once again saw Javik's final moments before he was sealed in his pod. For the first time, Shepard felt the depth of his despair that had hidden undetected under his anger, and her tears finally fell as she understood what he was silently asking... what he was offering.

“Javik...” she whispered, surprised to feel him wipe the tears from her cheeks.

“I am the Avatar of Vengeance, it is my duty to see my people are avenged,” Javik stated, offering a rare smile. “But in my time, you would have been the Avatar of Hope.”

“Once again, can't argue with him there, Shep,” Wrex agreed. “No one else could do half the shit you've done.”

“You will get her to safety?” Javik asked the krogan.

“I'll only be carrying her, because she'll try to come back for your sorry ass otherwise,” Wrex stated, solemnly.

“Javik, I can't let you do this. I should be...”

“To steal your mate's worse, Major,” the prothean interupted. “Forgive the insubordination.”

Despite herself, Shepard cracked a small smile, as Wrex' laugh thundered around the control room.

“You still have a job to do, and I have mine,” Javik concluded.

Reluctantly, Shepard nodded.

“It has been an honour to fight along side you,” he stated.

In a moment of madness, she hugged the prothean; obviously startling him, before he cautiously patted her shoulders. Shepard whispered a quiet thank you, fighting back tears once again, as she stepped back to give him a salute. To her surprise, Javik returned the gesture. However, before any more could be said, it felt like an explosion rocked the station. And in a heartbeat, Wrex had grabbed her around the waist none to gently, and heaving her over his shoulder, started to sprint towards the escape pods. The sudden pain Shepard felt in her ribs and side was excruciating, and her vision started to get hazy around the edges. Though the last thing she saw before everything went black, was Javik running towards the glowing red console.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had to tweak the last chapter slightly, as I belated realised that I'd already written EDI saving the day in my Thane/Shepard fic. Thus, I had to scramble for another conclusion that didn't kill her off. I hated doing this to Javik, but honestly, other than EDI's android form, I feel he was the next best (and logical... he IS the Avatar of Vengence and the LAST prothean alive... choice.


	94. Chapter 94

Nihlus' heart hammered in his chest, as he raced as fast as he could over the battlefield. Still nowhere near what he had been before Eden Prime, he still managed to dodge and leap over the falling reaper bodies that just seemed to _stop_. But the sudden change in the tied of battle wasn't what had him running across the scorched ground.

He'd been on the Everest along with Hackett, and Nihlus still couldn't believe they'd survived a direct hit along with the ship's XO, never mind managed to land the dreadnaught with barely any systems. But even that paled in comparrison to watching the SR2 being hit by a shockwave from the catalyst, and blasted out of sight. His heart had been in his mouth, even as he desperately tried to hale Garrus, or Joker, or Liara, or Tali... or anyone who might still be onboard the Normandy. But a moment later, something like a comet suddenly appeared streaking through the sky away from the catalyst, before making landfall in a cloud of dust and debris.

Somehow, _somehow_ , Nihlus knew it was Shepard. No thought went into dropping trying to contact the Normandy crew, Hackett and his people would undoubtedly be on it; then again, others would probably be running towards the crash site too, but that didn't stop Nihlus set off at the fastest sprint his body could now do. Which wasn't saying much, considering how he'd been in his prime, so his lungs heaved and his muscles burned but he pushed on. If there was even the slightest chance Shepard was there... well, it was enough to keep him moving passed the pain.

Nihlus was hardly surprised he wasn't the first one on scene, but there were certainly fewer than he expected. Just two drell, one rainbow coloured and one teal, as well as Shepard's tank-bred krogan, and a varren who was yapping and excitedly scratching around the half buried object... and object that was thankfully bigger than a human body; considering what Shepard had already gone through. The krogan was trying to dig away the scorched earth, whilst the two drell were trying to radio for back up. As he jogged closer, Nihlus realised the objected was an escape pod, and for the first time since the assault began, he felt a real sense of hope. Though the pod was obviously damaged, it was intact enough that whoever was inside it should have survived, and since there were only a handful of people who would have been crazy enough to be aboard the catalyst, Nihlus thought the odds of it being Shepard were pretty high.

So confident that the two drell would be able to keep an eye out, in case not all the reaper forces had been affected by whatever happened, he dumped his rifle unceremoniously on the ruined ground, and started to help the krogan and varren to dig. Soon, a handful of humans joined them, and Nihlus recognised Bailey beneath the blood and grime, as the man helped him haul a slab of concrete away from the pod's hatch. And to his utter surprise, a few minutes later Alenko of all bloody people arrived. Despite everything that had happened on the SR1 and afterwards, Nihlus was thankful for the biotic when he somehow managed to prise off the door and toss it away.

The varren began to whine and it was only the krogan catching it by the collar, that stopped the animal from crawling into the battered hatch. Nihlus himself keened softly when he saw the twisted insides; the metal walls were warped, the electrics sparking... but there were two bodies inside the pod. Both unmistakable. Nihlus shoulders a dithering Alenko out of the way, before crouching down and extending a shaking talon to brush Shepard's blood soaked hair from her face.

From the looks of them, Wrex had braced himself over an injured Shepard as they crashed, and from how both their arms were outstretched, it seemed they'd both thrown up weak Barriers before they impacted. Since his Omni-Tool had been fried onboard the Everest, Nihlus waited impatiently with his heart hammering in his chest, before the rainbow drell announced they were both still alive... something unexpectedly corroborated, when Shepard's pale hand suddenly twitched beneath the wreckage. Quick scans indicated that Wrex had burnt out his amp, which was most likely why he was unconscious, though it appeared that Shepard was in a worse state... which in all honesty, came as little surprise, considering the type of woman she was.

However, Nihlus only waited long enough for the drell to confirm Shepard had no spinal injuries, before he was instructing the korgan to brace Wrex. Once certain the battlemaster wasn't about to crush her, Nihlus cautiously began to ease Shepard out of the escape pod with the help of Alenko's biotic powers. Though as petty as it may have been, he refused to let the man touch her once she was freed. So despite how his own body screamed from exertion, Nihlus gently cradled Shepard's limp body in his arms, and quickly followed the teal coloured drell who led him towards the ramshackle medi-base.

* * *

Hours passed as he paced outside the battered door of the crumbling medical centre. His glared had scared Alenko off pretty quickly, though the krogan and varren remained, as well as the two drell. Nihlus let them be, since they seemed more concerned with Shepard's safety then catching a glimpse of her through the smashed glass and bowed metal. Nihlus hated the thought of her being in there, of being worked on with none of the modern machines and sterile conditions that they were used to. Of course, all soldiers had endured some sort of field surgery at one point or another, but he doubted anyone in the last few centuries had to endure reinflating a punctured lung and the draining of internal bleeding without at least sedation... because _of course_ Shepard had woken up for that.

Part of him wondered if it was her extensive cybernetics that had roused her from unconsciousness, which seemed cruel. But then again, it was what had brought her back from the dead once, and from what he had heard from the other side of the door, probably had kept her alive as she fought her way to the catalyst. So Nihlus supposed he should be thankful for them, despite keening softly every time he heard Shepard curse loudly or stifle a sob. Beside him, the varren whimpered pitifully, and he found himself scratching the beast's scaly head to offer the animal some sort of comfort.

During this time, the metal doors swung open, and everyone jumped to their feet... hoping it was going to be some sort of news. They all tried not to deflate when it was simply Wrex lumbering out, though the krogan grinned at them all; clapping Nihlus and the younger krogan on the shoulder, muttering that Shepard was a strong as Thresher Maw; which he figured was high praise from Wrex. The Battlemaster joined them in their silent vigil, cautiously sitting down on the dusty floor to wait with them. The hazy blood shot sky turned dark, the two drell fell asleep leaning against each other, and in the corner the young krogan began to snore with the varren resting over his armoured legs. Which left only Nihlus and Wrex there to greet the team of doctors when finally emerged from the room.

“Are any of you family?” the human male asked, skeptically

“He's her partner,” Wrex supplied, grinning.

Nilhus nearly glared when the krogan pushed him forward, though kept his face impassive. It wasn't as if it was a completely lie... not really... he and Shepard had never _officially_ dissolved their partnership, despite it being years since they'd been able to work together. He doubted that was the type of family the human meant, but there had been no luck trying to contact her mother, and Nihlus seriously doubted Vakarian would begrudge him being their for Shepard, especially considering spirits-knew where the Normandy was right now. However, the male didn't look convinced until a female doctor beside him whispered:

“There _were_ rumours for weeks the major had a secret wedding to a turian.”

Thankfully, it seemed that to this group of weary humans at least, one turian looked like them all, since the original doctor simply made a hum of agreement before extending his hand, obviously satisfied by the explanation. Nihlus only hesitated a moment before shaking the male's blood stained hands.

“Major Shepard is stable,” the doctor explained. “We've repaired her left lung, drained her internal bleeding, reset several broken rids and stabilised a shattered collar bone. That will certainly need further surgery tough, and she's lucky she didn't fry her brain when her amp shorted. So she'll need to lay off her biotics for quite a while. I'd also prefer to run a full diagnostic on her cybernetics, but we simply don't have the equipment.”

“Is there anything wrong with them?” he asked, cautiously.

“Nothing we can tell,” said the female doctor from earlier. “She's complained of slightly blurry vision and ringing in her ears, but that could be down to her concussion. Which before you ask, is incredibly mild given the circumstances. There's no swelling to her brain and no crack to her skull. But it is another reason to lay off her biotics for the foreseeable future.”

“Can we see her?”

“Just you, Mr...”

“I think we all know who the boss in their relationship is,” Wrex laughed, patting Nihlus on the back. “Go make sure my battle-sister is okay. I'll keep the welp in check if he wakes up.”

Offering a slightly awkward smile to the doctors obviously trying not to laugh, Nihlus pushed his way into the rundown room... vaguely wondering how Vakarian felt about effectively being Mr Shepard. Actually, he doubted Garrus cared, he certainly wouldn't if he was lucky enough to have a mate like her.

“Well, this is a bit of a role reversal...”

Shepard's faint voice snapped Nihlus out of his thoughts, and he immediately hurried to her bedside; sitting down on the wobble plastic chair that had been left, before he carefully enfolded her tiny hand in his. Her fingers where cold against his palm, and Nihlus fought the urge to climb into the rickety bed with her in the hopes of warming her up, too worried he'd aggravate her injuries... or the thing would collapse. And despite their positions being flipped, and the place being a far cry from the SR1 medbay, Nihlus couldn't deny this was all very familiar.

“Can you still make room for a devastatingly handsome turian?” he teased, wondering if she'd remember.

“For you boss... any time,” she smiled in returned.

Nilhus couldn't have helped his laughter even if tried; oddly thrilled she remembered a conversation that had meant so much to him, even though it was literally a lifetime ago for her.

“I think we both know who the real boss is,” he grinned.

Shepard weakly squeezed his talons. “Partners, remember. Even if...”

“The Normandy was hit by the shock wave when the crucible fired,” Nihlus explained, remembering how she'd always been upfront with him. “There's been radio silence so far, but no wreckage has been found. Hackett is already mobilising all flight worthy ships to look for those MIA.”

She only nodded, silently tears filling her eyes, and Nihlus immediately leant over to carefully press his forehead to hers.

“They'll find them, Shep,” he reassured. “And the second most handsome turian you know will soon be back by your side.”

Nihlus was incredibly proud of the laughter he startled out of her, even if it resulted in Shepard loudly cursing him for hurting her still battered ribs... he'd made her smile, and right then, with his dearest friend living and breathing beside him, it was more than Nihlus could have asked for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update of the night... in case anyone missed the first.


	95. Chapter 95

Garrus' hands shook as he stood in front of the memorial wall. He wasn't sure what bothered him more in that instance, the fact they were marooned on a jungle planet with only minimal systems, or the fact Liara had discovered Shepard had a stack of name plates for the entire crew... past and present... seemingly waiting for the time they would be needed. Or perhaps that had been Anderson's idea, or both of theirs; it didn't really matter.

His sub-harmonics trembled as much as his hands, as he looked down at his mate's name on the sleek metal plaque. He'd almost laughed seeing it still stated Commander instead of Major... almost. Instead, a keen escaped him, even as his talon traced over the lettering. He couldn't, _couldn't_ believe she was gone. Shepard was the other part of his soul, and Garrus knew, _knew_ , he would have felt it if she was no longer in the galaxy.

The hand holding the plague dropped to his side, his free hand lightly clamped over Vega's meaty shoulder, just as the marine was about to put Anderson's name on the memorial wall. They had noway of knowing if either of them were really gone, it was mere speculation because there last known location had been the citadel, before the catalyst had detonated.

All the knew for sure was Shepard, Anderson, Wrex, Javik and EDI's android form had been on the station. The catalyst had been activiated, the Normandy had been hit by a shockwave... thankfully after Chakwas had managed to reattached his severed spur and mend his shattered tibia... and their systems had gone haywire. EDI was offline but Tali had already managed to access her core and was busy rebooting the AI. Steve and Liara where overseeing physically repairs which seemed to be amazingly minimal, and Joker was busy overseeing the flight deck, trying to get those systems back online, whilst Adams and his team were getting the drive core rebooted. Since they'd all come out of it miraculously mostly intact, there was a chase that Shepard and Anderson had made it. At least, that's what Garrus believed.

That thought got him through the next fortnight; where systems, hardware, weapons and hull alike were first repaired, then double and triple checked. The fact everyone was looking to him like some stand in captain was a little unnerving, but Garrus was determined to make his proud. This was their home, these people were their family, and he was spirits-damned determined to bring them home for her. Their rations lasted surprisingly well, and he was happy to leave Steve in charge of them whilst he worked alongside Tali and Joker, and Vega helped Liara and several other marines get the Normandy back in a safe condition to fly.

The moment Joker called over the comm. link to say systems were go, Garrus leapt from the cot in the Main Battery he'd taken to sleeping one... the loft feeling too cold and empty without his there with him... and raced to the elevator; chatting with EDI's disembodied voice, before he arrived at the CIC. It felt so strange and slightly wrong to be stood at the galaxy map where his mate should be, but still Garrus' heart beat just a little faster, as he gave the order to set a course back to Earth... and if the spirits' allowed, back to Shepard.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third update of the night, in case anyone missed the previous two.


	96. Chapter 96

Exhausted, Shepard dozed with her head resting on Nihlus' shoulder. Ever since the medical staff had cleared her for 'light' duties, she'd been helping with the clean up effort. Sure, it probably wasn't what the doctors had in mind, but at least she wasn't using her biotics, so she was _somewhat_ following their instructions. Nihlus had given up trying to stop her on the very first day, obviously understanding she wasn't just trying to be useful, but because she had to keep her mind occupied.

It had been three weeks since then. There was still no word from the Normandy, EDI's android body was still inexplicably off line despite no obvious damage, and Uncle David was still in a medically induced coma; though at least the doctors were happy with the way his body was healing. However, not knowing if her crew had survived weighed on her, and having Garrus listed as MIA was eating her alive. So Shepard threw herself into the relief effort. She'd helped on rescue missions, digging people out of the destroyed buildings and ship wreckage. She'd help stabilise damaged buildings and even set up temporary accommodation. Through it all, her remaining friends had been by her side. Wrex, Grunt, Feron, Kolyat, Bailey, Hackett, even Urz the varren and of course Nihlus.

She had no idea if it was a cultural thing, the way the turian stuck to her like a shadow. Was it because her husband was missing? Was Nihlus somehow 'honour bound' to keep an eye on her? Or was it just his way of picking up where their partnership had ended, after she'd effectively died. Really, Shepard supposed it didn't matter. Either way, she doubted she'd have gotten through the past few weeks without him. Nihlus barely left her side, they even shared a room in a ramshackle little apartment they'd managed to set up for themselves.

Not that she'd actually managed to make it to their tiny room that evening, instead collapsing on the scorched sofa they'd dragged into their living space, her back aching and hands bloody from another hard day of rebuilding. Nihlus had sat down beside her a moment later, and Shepard had curled into his side when he'd draped an arm over her shoulders. She was just falling asleep when her Omni-Tool bleep, and without even opening her eyes, she offered her wrist to the turian so he could accept the incoming call for her. She felt more than heard his chuckle, but was soon sitting bolt up right when Feron's voice hurriedly announced:

“Shep! You need to get down to the air field. It's the Normandy.”

If it hadn't been for Nihlus grabbing her wrist when she bolted for the front door, Shepard would have probably ran to the makeshift landing strip without even stopping to tug on her combat boots. But she easily caught them as her partner chucked them to her, and after hurried pulling them on, Shepard sprinted through ruined London with Nihlus at her side, and all but barrelled into Feron when he excitedly waved them over.

Her arms wrapped around the drell's neck as his arms slipped around her waist, and Shepard knew the male felt the same mixture of fear and excitement as she did... she'd called bullshit on him and Liara being 'just friends' the first night they'd had a proper chat, when she'd been released from medical, and the drell admitted he and the asari had just started dating before the reapers hit. So Shepard knew Feron understood what she was feeling, desperately hoping it would be a living Garrus she was about to be greeted with, and not a body. Nihlus must have sensed her spiralling emotions, since the turian wrapped his arms around her torso from behind, and though she didn't release the hold she had on Feron, Shepard rested her weight back into her old partner.

They'd talked about the possibility of teaming up again... properly this time. Her, him and Garrus. Working as the trio they'd originally planned back before the SR1 had been destroyed... since Shepard knew that despite her husband jokingly insisting they would retire after the war, there was going to be a lot of hard work on the relief effort before they would be able to walk away with a clear conscious. So she supposed this was going to be their first hurdle, finding out if Garrus had even survived. She gave a shaky exhale at the thought, knowing she must have been shaking, since both Feron and Nihlus hugged her a little tighter as they watched the Normandy finally touch down.

Shepard held her breath as the hanger door opened, watched as Vega and Steve started ushering out crew members. She smiled as Tali and Adams helped Karin unload medical supplies, with the help of Wrex and Grunt who had gone over to help. Then pushed Feron forward when Liara finally emerged, but clung to Nihlus, too scared to approach her friends, when several minutes went by without Garrus or Joker emerging. She turned to bury her face against Nihlus keel, choking back the sobs that threatened to break free. She couldn't imagine a galaxy without the sarcastic pilot, or worse, her husband... there was no Shepard without Vakarian. And the thought of life without Garrus made her legs want to buckle.

“Shepard...” Nihlus murmured, his chest rumbling in a comforting purr.

She glanced up at him through watery eyes, before following his line of sight as he nodded towards the ship that had been her home. Cautiously, she turned to face the Normandy, and if it hadn't been for the turian's arms still wrapped around her, Shepard was certain she'd have collapsed to the dusty ground. Because _there_ was Garrus, slowly helping a limping Joker down the hanger ramp to where Karin waited. It took Shepard a moment for what she was seeing to actually sink in, before she set off at a run; Nihlus' laugh following her as she rushed forward, and practically threw herself into her husband's arms.

There was only a split second for Shepard to register Garrus wasn't wearing armour for a change, and to realise he'd been talking to EDI's disembodied voice, before she was laughing giddily as her husband gathered her in an almost bone crushing hug. He spun her around, much to the delight of their gathered friends if the laughter and applause was anything to go by. There was a wolf whistle that sounded suspiciously like Vega, and when she glanced over at the marine for a split second, Shepard couldn't help grinning when she saw his arm was firmly around Steve's waist as the pair watched on.

But then, Garrus' hands were gently cupping her face, and all she could do was look up into her husband's striking blue eyes. Shepard frowned slightly as she felt his hands begin to tremble, and heard a soft keen escaped him. But as he slowly leant his forehead against hers, tears began to prick her eyes. She understood, all too well, the overwhelming sense of relief he must be feeling.

“See... I do know how to follow orders,” she tried to joke, a voice trembling with emotion.

Garrus huffed out a laugh, before pulling her back into another bone crushing hug. “Spirits! I missed you.”

“No Shepard without Vakarian,” she whispered, hugging him back just as fiercely.

He nuzzled her temple before murmuring: “No Vakarian without Shepard.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it. Thank you all so very much for reading this story, and for sticking with me when all the issues happened with my ME3 gameplay. I really hope you enjoyed it. If you'd like to see a glimpse of how I imagine the Shepard-Vakarian household post retirement, have a look at the last chapter of my story: Clichés!   
> Also, I would like to ask a quick question. Would anyone be interest in a short Shepard/Nihlus story? I loved writting them together, and have been debating writing a short (possibly just ME1) fic with them as a couple and not just friends with benefits.   
> Either way, I really appreciate you taking the time to read my work. I hope to 'see' you all again in the future. Thank you once again.


End file.
